Stargazing

YG's Golden Boy

A/N: I sincerely apologize for the extremely late update. I had exams and was busy with other stuff, but now I'm here! I feel like the story is also getting extremely boring; if it wasn't before... :/ Anyways, I hope it'll get more exciting. 

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            “Give a portion of Rhine’s verse to Eiseu…,” Iseul read as her eyes scanned the e-mail once again, making sure she read correctly.

            Rhine’s head snapped up and turned to the computer screen, heart thumping. The rest of the members moved closer to the screen, reading the e-mail closely. No matter how many times they reread it, the simple words didn’t vanish like they expected it to. Rhine’s heart dropped to the pit of her stomach and she was nauseous. Blood rushed to her ears and she could hear the quick beating of her heart. She scooted back into the plastic chair and the rest of the girls glanced to check if she was okay. Not knowing what to do, Iseul continued reading the e-mail, but the atmosphere was already tense.

            It was the day after they sent Mr. Yang their pre-evaluation video. The girls were seated in the practice room during dance practice when Iseul decided to check her mail. Everything seemed to be going well including the vocals and dance until the sentence stating that Rhine’s rapping wasn’t improving. Rhine didn’t understand Mr. Yang’s preference, she thought that Hanbin’s help was making her improve, but she had her hopes up too high. The rap verse wasn’t even long and considering the fact that Mr. Yang wanted her to give a portion of the verse to Eiseu would leave Rhine with three or four lines. The statement made Rhine upset, but she didn’t let it show.

            Her eyes stung and her heartbeat was dull, but Rhine maintained a calm composure. Her face was completely blank even though she was breaking. The world seemed to be spinning around her and she couldn’t hear a thing the girls were saying after Iseul finished reading the e-mail. Rhine watched in a daze as Iseul shut down the computer.

            “Are you okay?” Eiseu finally spoke up, her voice cutting through Rhine’s thoughts.

            Rhine turned her head to look at Eiseu and she nodded with a forced smile. “Of course, it’s nothing.” It was a lie, but it was the only thing Rhine could say.

            None of the girls could see through her forced smile and lie. None of them was aware of Rhine’s breakdown.

            “Are you sure? I’m sorry, this should’ve-,” Eiseu was interrupted with a shake of Rhine’s head.

            “I said it’s fine,” her forced smile got bigger. “There’s always a next time.”

            Although the words left without difficulty, Rhine was doubtful about a next time. Mr. Yang wasn’t one to give people tons of chances and Rhine wasn’t sure she could put up with it. She was getting more homesick by the days and she felt her energy draining quicker than she thought it would. Being a trainee was definitely tough and no matter how much work she put into her practices, she didn’t see any improvements. She wanted to debut so badly and would do anything for that chance, but she wasn’t sure anymore.

            “Yeah, there’s always a next time,” Iseul chimed in with a hopeful voice that Rhine appreciated.

            Throughout practice, the girls gave her words of assurance, but Rhine wasn’t feeling content. A simple rejection or criticism from Mr. Yang would hurt her, but the suggestion to give half of her verse to Eiseu was like a knife stabbed through her heart. It was painful.

            As she was making her way to rap lessons with Hanbin that night, her mind wandered back to the e-mail and she felt the tears pricked her eyes. Rhine stopped abruptly in the hallway and tried to catch her breath. She couldn’t cry. Especially not after what she had been through to get where she was. She couldn’t breakdown that easy, she couldn’t let herself lose control. With a shaky breath, Rhine held her head up and continued walking again. She wanted to hear her father’s voice, see her grandfather’s face, or even hear Bobby’s teasing laugh. All she wanted at moment was someone to make her laugh like Bobby always did.

            She pushed the practice room door and could hear music playing in the background. The lights were brightening and Rhine dabbed the corners of her eyes, fingertips making contact with the wetness of the tears. She took a deep breath and steadied herself before she went into the room. In front of the desk was a hunched over Hanbin working on lyrics that Rhine didn’t know what for.

            His foot was tapping along to the beat. The ends of his spiky red hair were bright from the reflection of the lights. Hanbin was concentrated on his work that he didn’t hear Rhine as she set her bag down.

            “What are you doing?” Rhine pulled up a chair beside him and sat down.

            He looked at her from the paper and positioned his glasses. Her sudden approach startled him a bit, but he smiled at her. She forced a smile, but Hanbin could immediately tell that something was wrong. The aura around her was on edge, concerning Hanbin. His smile dropped as he watched her prop her elbow on the desk and leaned her head on it. Her face was turned away from him, concerning him even more.

            “Tell me what’s wrong,” Hanbin stated bluntly.

            “It’s nothing, I’m just tired,” she mumbled into her sleeve.

            He set his pen down and sat up. His eyes did a quick scan over her before landing on her head again. He could tell something was definitely wrong. Through all the nights they spent practicing together; it was easy for him to tell when she was worn out and when she wasn’t. This time, she wasn’t tired and Hanbin knew it had to be something serious. Even though their conversations were brief, Hanbin knew quite a lot about her. She was that type of girl who put work ahead of situation and she hardly let other things interfere with her rapping unless if it was something really serious.

            “Rhine, tell me what’s bothering you,” Hanbin’s voice became softer when Rhine buried her face in her arms and her hair fell around her, hiding her face from view. “Talk to me.” Her head shook slowly, moving her hair along with it. Uncertain, Hanbin reached over and carefully pat her head. “Rhine, are you ill? We can call lessons off for tonight.”

            Her head slowly rose and she rubbed her eyes. “No, it’s nothing. Let’s practice.”

            Her eyes met his and they were watery. Before she looked away, he caught a hint of depression. He reached over to turn off the stereo before turning to look directly at her. Rhine avoided his gaze as her fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

            “Hey, talk to me,” he gently nudged her side. “Did the girls hurt you?” Rhine shook her head; she honestly didn’t want to confide in Hanbin. “Come on, are you going to act like this in front of your teacher? I’ll give you zero percent for your final grade.”

            His statement made the corners of her lips curve up. She turned to look at him and sighed. His expression said it all; he wasn’t going to leave her alone.

            “Mr. Yang… He told me to give a portion of my verse to Eiseu…”

            After telling him that, Rhine quickly looked away. She didn’t want to see other people pity her, especially Hanbin. She couldn’t stand it. Telling him that didn’t make her feel any better, instead, it shamed her. After all the practices Hanbin gave her, he would surely be disappointed in her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Hanbin shift in his seat. He let out a sigh, but Rhine couldn’t tell if it was from disappointment or frustration. He stood up and her heart sank. He was going to scold her for sure.

            “Let’s take the night off, how does that sound?”

            His response was unexpected as Rhine’s head jerked in his direction. “What?”

            A small smile lifted up his face. “A walk around the city, how does that sound?” After staring at her and all he got was a blank stare, Hanbin grabbed her wrist. The contact sent a jolt up his spine, but he brushed it off and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s get out of this place.”

            “What about my stuff!?” Rhine exclaimed when Hanbin pulled her out of the door.

            “We’ll come back for it,” he stated without another glance back.

            He let go of her wrist when they headed out of the building and Rhine hurried to catch up to him. The cool air wrapped around the perimeter of her body and Rhine breathed in the fresh air. Hanbin was a few steps ahead, but Rhine slowed her pace. Her eyelids lifted up to catch the twinkling of the stars. She was breathless. The night was clear and dark, making the stars visible like no other night. It was beautiful.

            When he didn’t see her by his side like he expected, he slowed and turned his head. He saw the longing in her eyes and then a flash of pain, causing him to be curious of her thoughts. Hanbin tried to get inside of her mind and figure out her train of thought, but he couldn’t figure her out. She was like a puzzle, just when he thought he had her all figured out, there lies that pain that he couldn’t fathom.

            “The stars,” Hanbin started. “Do they remind you of something?”

            “Huh?” Rhine looked at him, the longing and pain gone from her eyes.

            He tilted his chin at the sky. “The stars, do they serve as a memory of some sort?”

            Her heart lurched and Hanbin thought he struck a nerve. But then Rhine shook her head. Hanbin was so close to knowing who hid beneath that façade, but Rhine was kicking him out. He didn’t belong in her past.

            “Well,” he said and turned his head toward the sky. “I have a story involving the stars.”

            “That is?” She caught up to him and they started walking down the street.

            Hanbin could feel himself getting warmer by the seconds. He contemplated if he should tell her the story since it was personal and he had never told anyone before. Hanbin wasn’t sure how he should feel about this. The story meant a lot to him and it was secret, but Rhine seemed like somebody Hanbin could trust. Besides, the girl was feeling down.

            “Do you see how the stars shine at us?” He glanced at her and Rhine studied the stars for a moment before nodding and turning to look at him. “Behind every shining star, there’s a dark past. Stars are like humans,” he turned to glance at her before proceeding. “They go through pain, struggles, and scars before they can shine as bright as they do right now. The comets that hit them and dampen their shine are the obstacles that try to stop them from achieving their dreams, you know.

            Before I got here, before I got national fame, I only cared about rapping and putting my music out there. I didn’t think twice about the fame or the money. I wanted the happiness that came without a price. When I started to appear on television, my parents started to pressure me about the fame. They wanted to hear other people praise me. The more that happened, the more I felt like I was trapped and I couldn’t’ get out… I wanted out and often questioned myself if making music and living the idol life was what I really wanted…,” he ran his fingers through his hair. “There was a point when I couldn’t take their words anymore and I broke down. I felt like if I didn’t succeed, it was the end of me… Sometimes I felt like they want the fame more than my happiness. I couldn’t do it anymore and I ran away… I ran until I was on top of a hill overlooking the world. And I broke down, I felt neglected and unappreciated… Later I noticed the stars flickering. It calmed me down and I stood up on the hill as I looked down at the city. I sort through my doubts and felt everything fall into place…,” he turned to look into her eyes as he said those last words; “I realized the world was mine to keep. Rhine, if you want I’ll give you the world to keep too.”

*

            “It’s not far ahead,” told Hanbin.

            Rhine followed behind him as they climbed up the steep hill in the dark. From the edge, Rhine could make out the faint lights from the city below as they climbed to new heights. The moon floated above them and the stars sparkled. They seemed so close that Rhine felt like she could grab them if she tried. The trees rustled in the breeze and nearby owls hooted over the chirping of the crickets. Rhine tried to not lose her balance as she hurried to catch up to Hanbin, who was moving at lightning speed. It was obvious he had climbed that hill for years.

            “We’re here.”

            They came to a clearing and Hanbin turned to face her. Rhine tried to catch her breath as she walked past him and went to stand closer to the edge. A smile brightened up her face. With the stars looking down at her and the city down below her with darkness in between, Rhine felt at peace. The air was clean and smelled of pine needles. The wind combed through her loose hair and she closed her eyes. The grass was moist beneath her feet and with the sounds from the trees, Rhine felt relaxed. Her mind was beginning to clear.

            Hanbin slowly went to stand beside her and he closed his eyes. The moment felt right. It felt like he was where he belonged. After telling her that story, Hanbin felt like he was closer to her. It seemed impossible since he hardly knew anything about her, but the confession made him feel lighter. He only wished she would open up to him too.

            He causally sat down on the damp earth with his knees drawn up. Glancing at her, he motioned to the spot beside him. “It’s beautiful,” she breathed before slowly getting into a sitting position.

            “I come here often, whenever I’m stressed or upset or just for no reason.”

            “What do you usually do here?” she glanced at him and she could make out her breath in the air. Rhine wrapped her arms around her knees and peered across the horizon. The sky stretched on for thousands of miles in all directions, full with stars. Without the pollution and lights, the galaxy was easier to see. The sight made her heart flutter with happiness and awe.

            “What do I do?” he looked at her and she nodded her head. “Well, I do this.”

            Rhine watched as Hanbin fell back on the ground and used his arms as a cushion for his head. He looked at her behind his lashes and stretched out his legs. With a finger, he pointed at the sky. “I stargaze.”

            Her gaze followed the direction his finger was pointing and she looked at the sky. Following his example, she laid down beside him. The coldness and wetness of the earth seeped through her clothing and it took her a couple of seconds to get used to it. She looked over at Hanbin, who was focused on the stars. He looked relaxed, but inside, he was slightly nervous.

            “Do the stars remind you of anything?” he questioned.

            Their eyes met and Rhine slowly looked straight up. He watched her think for a few seconds before turning her head again to face him. “My grandfather used to always tell me that no matter how far away your loved one is, you will always reunite with them through the stars.”

            “So the stars remind you of your grandfather?”

            “I guess so,” she said with doubt. “What about you?”

            “Success,” he answered without hesitation. Rhine studied the sharp curve of his jaw line as he stared at the sky with an unknown emotion in his eyes.

            “Why success?”

            He glanced at her. “They remind me to not lose hope and keep working hard so that one day I’d be as bright as them.”

            “But you’ll be just another star in the sky,” she noted and he furrowed his eyebrows in thought.

            “That’s true…”

            “But to someone, you’ll be the brightest star in the sky; like that one.” Hanbin looked in the direction she’s pointing to and saw the brightest and biggest star in a sea of small stars. The edges of the creation winked, consistently losing its glow and then brightening up again.

            “Are you sure about that?” he asked.

            Rhine nodded her head with confidence. “I’m sure of it.”

            “What about fears?” She looked at him in question and he explained, “Becoming a trainee, what’s your biggest fear?”

            She avoided his gaze as she answered, “Never seeing my grandfather again.”

            The response wasn’t one he expected to hear. Usually, it was often the fear of not debuting, not being good enough, or not seeing their parents, but grandfathers? It was quite unusual, but Hanbin didn’t question.

            “Your grandfather must mean a lot to you.”

            “That sums it up,” Rhine agreed, yet hiding the fact that she was close with both her grandfathers. “What about you? What’s your biggest fear?”

            “At first, it was not debuting, but now that the debut’s coming up, I’ll have to say failing.”

            “Failing as in…?”

            Hanbin his side and faced directly at her. Rhine was starting to notice the closeness and she could smell the mint from his breath and the smell of sweat mixed with his cologne. “Failing the debut.” He turned back around and explained his thought. “I’m afraid of failing the members if our debut isn’t a success. I just…” He closed his eyes tight and scrunched up his face. “I don’t want to let them down,” his voice was barely audible, but Rhine could make out the words clearly. The insecurity and doubt was visible in his words.

            “Even if it’s not what you hope it’d be, it won’t be the end of the world, Hanbin. Everyone fails multiple times, but failing is what makes a person successful.” As she said those words, she didn’t believe in them.

            Her words caused him to look at her and he couldn’t decide if she was a professor or a trainee. Her train of thought intrigued him. Hanbin didn’t know anyone who thought the way she did and he wanted to know more about what lies beneath that facade, but there was an edge of coldness around her. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he sensed there was a reason she acted that way; closed off from the world and always on the lookout. Lookout for what, Hanbin didn’t know.

            After chatting for a while, they decided it was time to go. Rhine was dusting off her outfit when Hanbin turned to face her. “If you want, we can go stargazing at various locations twice a week.”

            His offer made her jerk her head up and she met his shy smile, causing her to smile back. “Sure, I’d like that.”

            The offer didn’t seem harmful and she enjoyed stargazing. Hanbin also was a friendly and thoughtful person whom Rhine was interested in getting to know more about. She hated the idea of being close to someone, but she promised herself that their future outings would only be friend hangouts.

            “Sounds like a plan,” he confirmed. “Oh, I have some things going on tomorrow evening so if you don’t mind, practice is cancelled.”

            She nodded her head, for she understood that Hanbin had a personal life aside from practicing. Besides, she also needed a time off to herself and collect her thoughts. She also had a rap she’d been dying to produce, but never found the time to. At the thought of it, Rhine was excited and she couldn’t wait.

*

            As Rhine was closing the door to the studio, it was already eleven. The others had gone back to the dorm a while ago, leaving Rhine to finish her last lesson of the night. She wanted nothing more than to go home and write out her lyrics and then take a rest. She heard footsteps heading towards her, but dismissed them and heaved the backpack on her shoulder.

            “Rhine,” Bobby greeted.

            She turned to look at him and instead met Hanbin’s small smile. She smiled back. “Are you guys going home?”

            Bobby shook his head, grinning widely. “We’re going to a rap battle. Speaking of which, I think you should join us!”

            “A rap battle?”

            He nodded and motioned to his outfit that looked extra fresh that night. “It’s going to start in an hour and newcomers are welcomed. I really think you should come.”

            Rhine slowly hesitated; she was ready to collapse in her bed. A rap battle in a new environment was out of the question. “I’m fine, you guys go.”

            “Naw, come on Rhine!” Bobby started. “It’d be loads of fun. And you can test out your rap skills.”

            “No, it’s alright. Maybe next time.” As she said that, she knew there wasn’t going to be a next time. Rhine wouldn’t go to a rap battle in a place she didn’t know very well. What made her hesitated most was the fact that she was different from everyone else. It made her self-conscious and she didn’t feel like going places if it wasn’t necessary.

            “They would love you,” Bobby said, his smile fading. He was desperate for her to go.

            She fiddle with her backpack strap and seeing her hesitation, Hanbin interfered, “Come on, it’ll take place as the practice for tonight.”

            Too focused on getting her to go, Bobby didn’t suspect what practice Hanbin was talking about as he nodded in agreement. Rhine contemplated the idea and bit her bottom lip. He was right; the rap battle could take place as the practice that night. She probably would make some acquaintances and get her name out there. Rhine started to remember the rap battles held at the nightclub back home where she knew everyone. The battles were intense with a few diss here and there, but it was loads of fun. Rhine often had a fantastic time with the other rappers; maybe this time won’t be too different.

            Meeting their eyes, Rhine let out the breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “Fine, I’ll go.”

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Stefania
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Comments

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LoveGD88
#1
Chapter 21: There are no more updates from you and I was reading this story with joy :( I hope you can continue one day.
Killerkhaos #2
Chapter 21: Need more!!! Crave more!!! Its like a drug and I need a fix!
Hope you update soon!
ktroct #3
Chapter 20: Hanbin is so sly with tricking Rhine. love it. update soon
HoneyFei20
#4
Chapter 20: Hahahahaha Hanbin is so sly with tricking Rhine, this love triangle is really cheesy but cute :D
wattpadlover
#5
I think this is going to be really good! Hope this gets more love. Author-Nom, fighting!
jessi38 #6
Chapter 18: More than Rhine, I'm worried about Bobby and Hanbin. Is that weird? I don't want their friendship to be fractured to the point where they aren't the same. Even if neither ends up with Rhine. :(
G-yongxx
#7
Chapter 18: im a new reader here, i have a thing for love triangle fics n was actually trying to find a good love triangle fic before i found this, i thought the foreword was interesting so i started reading it n now im dying for a new update, hope u can update more often soon so we wont be left hanging but then again its ur choice whether u should update or not, we'll still wait tho so no pressure lol n i gotta say i love this fic n i rly hope she'll end up with hanbin as much as i like her with bobby whoops hanbinXrhine ftw lmao
lilwaii #8
Chapter 18: Ooooooo okay lmaoo I love hanbin and Rhine but I would love if a new girl came and took Bobby and Bobby used that girl to make Rhine jealous LMAO I'm so specific but something like thT
jessi38 #9
Chapter 18: I like Hanbin and Rhine, they seem to have a deeper connection. Bobby and Rhine seem more like siblings who are comfortable with one another.