Chapter Five

 

I love to sing yes, but mainly in my shower or just at home, never did I expect that I would be on this stage getting ready to sing in front of these people who do this practically everyday. Why did I agree to do this?

 

. . . I AM SO DOOMED.

 

That familiar feeling deep in my stomach was starting to come out again, I can feel my heart start to pound two times faster than my normal heartbeat. If I can’t control it I might have a panic attack and that is not an attractive sight to see.

 

“Unnie I can’t do this without you on that stage with me! can you play the piano???” I give her my most pleading look knowing for sure how she knows how I much I dislike singing in public.

 

“Of course I can Soyang what song did you have in mind?”

 

“You know my favorite song right now? we’ve played it at my house together” and just like the best friend she is she knows exactly what song I’m talking about.

 

“Okay, you can do this Soyang just pretend we are in your bedroom jamming and singing to this song. You sound so good singing this and I believe in you, So just follow and trust me, I’ll be with you playing the piano.

 

While warming my voice up I hear the Principle introduce me, the weird thing is that it feels like he has been expecting me to sing tonight.

 

“Hello everyone, we have a special appearance from one of Jieun’s friends, her name is Lee Soyang and she will be performing a song tonight so please make her very welcomed and give her lots of support!”

 

The next thing I hear is loud cheering echoing the hall  from the students, Jieun nudges me to go on stage, I slowly stagger and trip on the first step but catch myself thankful that I don’t hear any giggles or anyone laughing, hopefully no one saw me.

 

So many thoughts are going through me right now, what if they get bored with my song? what if I am so horrible at singing that they boo me and tell me to get off the stage?

 

That’s when Jieun comes to stand next to me and squeezes my arm with an encouraging smile.

“Soyang-a you and I both know what this song means to you, so just sing with your heart and get lost in the music I know you can. Hwaiting!”

 

Thankful that I have her with me I nod my head and get ready to sing the song that holds such meaning and  truth in the lyrics, I know I can get lost into the music.

 

“Hi, my name is Lee Soyang and I’ll be singing Human by Christina Perri I’m sorry if I’m bad. I don’t normally do this, well I don’t do this at all so please be understanding”

 

I look around the audience and see the encouraging looks they are all giving me and I feel myself calm down even more. Until my eyes lock onto one familiar person and I suddenly feel like all my nerves have been out of me, and now all I feel is my heart beating and a warm feeling in my stomach. He gives me a warm smile and whispers Good Luck, even if I can’t hear him I can still lip read. And with that encouragement I nod my head to Jieun telling her I’m ready to sing.

 

I close my eyes and get into the song the lyrics and the meaning it holds in my heart and I just sing as if It’s just me and the music alone in my room.

 

Hoseok/J-Hopes POV

 

For some reason I feel so excited to be able to hear Soyang sing, Jieun noona always said that Soyang’s vocals are really good and that she sings with so much emotion. My eyes follow her disappearing back through the crowd to the side of the stage where she was standing and waiting to sing at. That is until I was rudely interrupted by the troublesome 95 liners including Nari.

 

“Hyung I’ve seen you looking at Soyang non stop all night what’s up hyung do you like her?” Jimin smirks at me

 

“Yah, Jimin I have not been looking at her all night thank you very much, I just think she is pretty okay”

 

“Yeah hyung it always starts out that way then BAM before you know it you're falling for her, then you’re dating her and won’t be able to get out. So be careful Hyung.” I eye him then look next to him to see a not so happy looking Nari glaring at him.

 

“Ummmm Taehyung probably not the best thing to have said with your girlfriend standing right next to you” I point to Nari and before Taehyung even had a chance to get out of his mistake Nari was hitting him.

 

“SO YOU THINK YOU CAN’T GET OUT AND THAT YOU'RE TRAPPED? KIM TAEHYUNG YOU ARE SO DONE FOR!!!” I just laugh at them and watch as they run around the hall both yelling, this is a daily thing and all the members and even the students and teachers are used to the both of them by now.

 

“No Nari-a you are the most important person in my life and I have no idea what I would do without you, so forgive me please?” I see Taehyung give Nari a puppy dog look and I almost barf.

 

“Ew Dude, Taehyung do you even know how gross you look right now?”

 

“It may seem gross to you because you don’t have a girlfriend, just wait till you and Soyang get together hyung.” He kisses Nari on the lips.

 

“YAH! KIM PABO!!! DON’T THINK THAT GETS YOU OFF THE HOOK!”

 

I see Nari hit Taehyung over the head but I’m just too disgusted by the kiss that I wanted to hit him myself, but before I could I was interrupted by the principle introducing Soyang’s performance to everyone.

 

My eyes automatically search for her and I see her coming up the steps to the stage, she slightly trips but catches herself and looks around to see if anyone saw. Lucky for her I’m the only one who saw her trip and I have to say it was extremely adorable.

 

I can see how nervous and scared she looks and I just wanted to go up and give her a prep talk to help calm her nerves. But luckily Jieun noona did that just fine and I can see her shoulders relax a bit more now.

 

I see her looking around then we both catch each others eyes, I can see just how nervous she still is so I give her my most encouraging smile and whisper “good luck” hoping she can lip read. When I see her completely relax I gain a sense of achievement then she starts to sing and my mind was completely blown away.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X43XF8247E  (Play it now)

 

I can fake a smile

I can force a laugh

I can dance and play the part

If that's what you ask

Give you all I am

 

I get the chills going down my spine, the raw emotions I can feel from her singing it’s as if this song is apart of her.

 

I can turn it on

Be a good machine

I can hold the weight of worlds

If that's what you need

Be your everything

 

I can do it

I can do it

I'll get through it

 

But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

 

How can her singing affect me like this? I feel as tho she is telling her own story, sharing a part of herself through this song, or am I thinking about this too deeply? I look around and see other students just as awestruck as myself and I know that it’s not just me who has been touched by Lee Soyang’s voice. Who is she? And why do I want to get to know more of her?

 

Soyang’s POV

 

The song ends and I just stand here still caught up in the song and the lyrics, I open my eyes to see the students and teachers of Big Hit Academy just staring at me and they did that for a minute until they all started roaring, cheering and clapping.

 

I was too stunned to process what was happening, are they really clapping? Why?

I feel someone tugging and dragging me off the stage but I’m still too stunned to process what I just did and the reactions from the students.

 

“Soyang-a You did so GREAT! I’m so so proud of you!” Jieun hugs me and I finally snap out of my trance not even knowing what I must have looked like or sounded while on stage. I just tuned everything out and pretended I was in my room, so hearing those claps and cheering was a pleasant surprise.

 

“Thank you Jieun, I don’t think I could have done it without you!”

 

“It was . . . fun”

 

“I’m gonna say it”

 

“No, don’t”

 

“I TOLD YOU SO” Jieun bounces up and down in front of me.

 

“Didn't I tell you before we left that you would have a blast and meet new friends, and just look at you now! you’ve made 8 new friends! It would be even better if you joined the academy!!!!”

 

We were walking back to the boys and Nari, but we had been stopped a few times by students telling me how awesome I was on stage and how good of a singer I am. Jieun told me their names but knowing me I’ve forgotten most of them by the time we get to our small group at the back.

 

Once we get back to our group I’m bombarded with clapping, more stares and some random pats on the back. Nari ran to hug me so hard that it took the breath out of me.

 

“Nari-a, I can’t breathe” she lets go and I take a huge breath like my life depended on it, and apparently people found that cute?

 

“Soyang you did really great! I wish I could sing with so much emotion like you do” Jimin says with that adorable charming eye smile of his that I’ve already come to love, (In a loving cute way of course)

 

“Jimin, you are so much better than me trust me on that” Jimin shakes his head and gives me a pat on my back.

“You don’t know just how special you really are noona” Before I could ask him what he meant by that he ran off to annoy the 95line couple.

 

After everyone congratulated and applauded me which I honestly have no Idea why they would, I mean they take lessons on . . . well everything to do with music while I sing in the shower. . . in my pyjamas in the comfort of my own home.

 

I decided to go get a drink from the vending machine In the hallway.

 

“Jieun, Nari, I’m just going to get a drink and have some time alone for a few minutes.

I’m still not exactly used to everything that is happening to me right now.”

Once I see their nods of approval I slowly make my way to the doors leading to the hallway.

 

Once the doors close behind me I breathe a sigh of relief, the slightly cooler air in the hallway allows me to think about the things that have occurred tonight.

So much has happened to me in just the span of a few hours and I’m not used to it at all.

Meeting new people and very handsome and nice people at that, singing in front of the students of Big Hit  who are obviously so much better than me. Lets just say my confidence level right now is pretty damn low everyone is so pretty, handsome and just so talented . . . then there is dorky me.

 

I take out my money I always keep in my pocket and choose a drink from the vending machine.

I wait for the drink to drop but I’ve been waiting for a minute now and still nothing has happened, so I start to get frustrated with the machine.

 

“Yah, give me my drink you evil money stealing machine! I paid for my drink so I would appreciate it if you would give it to me!” If anyone were to see me right now scolding a machine I think I would die of embarrassment, but hey I paid for my drink so I expect to get my moneys worth.

 

“You meany” I kick the vending machine but yup knowing me I end up hurting myself in the end.

 

“Why am I such a clutz” Not knowing I actually said that out loud.

 

I hear someone start to laugh, I turn around only to have regretted everything I just did in the last 5 minutes.

 

My light brown eyes instantly become bigger with the sight of the glorious handsome person in front of me laughing . . . yup he was laughing at me.

 

I’M AN IDIOT! Why am I such a dork!? look at him laughing at my fail of a human being, I AM SO DOOMED! Once he finally stopped laughing he looked at me and gave a heart pumping, girl killing smile. Oh that smile I swear I could look at it all day.

“Umm how long have you been standing there?” I hope he only saw the very last part of my fail.

 

“Oh you know just the whole 5 minutes”

 

. . . Yup DOOMED I TELL YOU I AM DOOMED.

 

“Just so you know I’m not this weird and I don’t always talk to machines, it just stole my money and I paid for my favorite drink and just . . . I’ll stop talking now.” Why am I such an awkward turtle, what is life.

 

“that was the most entertainment I’ve had all night” He giggles again. And oh gosh there it is again, that smile.

 

“It was very cute, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone yell at a machine before let alone yell at one so cutely.”

 

My face starts to heat up again, cute!?!?!? he thinks I’m cute. My insides start to turn and become all fluttery and my heart feels like it can be heard from where he is standing that’s how hard it’s pumping right now.

 

“Thanks, but I’m not cute I’m actually the complete opposite, but I love your smile.”

. .

. . .

. . . .

. . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . . .

 

I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, TELL ME I NEVER SAID THAT TO HIM!

NOPE GOODBYE PLANET EARTH I LOVE YOU BUT MY AWKWARD SELF NEEDS TO BE SENT VERY VERY VERY FAR AWAY.

 

I realised a little late what I just said to him, so I bury my face in my hands hoping he just does not notice and walks away. But do I really want him to walk away? The awkward silence is too much, so I take a peek between my fingers to see his reaction.

 

He is just smiling at me, his eyes twinkle with amusement in them and something else in them that I’m not sure of.

 

Hoseok POV

 

Once Soyang comes towards the group I try to congratulate her but am interrupted by everyone else talking and gaining her attention. This gives me some time to watch her, and no, I’m not trying to be all stalkerish I’m just genuinely trying to get a hold on this person named Lee Soyang.

 

I see some of the other guys looking at soyang with interest glinting in their eyes and for some reason I’m slightly annoyed at the way they look at her. Just from observing her I can tell she is somewhat naive and uncomfortable with her surroundings right now and is oblivious towards the flirtatious looks the boys are giving her.

 

I see her walk out of the hall and into the hallway, I decided to follow her no not because I’m a stalker if that was what you were thinking -_- I just want to congratulate her and get to know her better with just the two of us.

 

I open the doors to the hallway closing them very quietly not to make any noise, I want to surprise and scare Soyang. But before I could I was stopped short by a very amusing sight in front of me. Soyang getting frustrated at a vending machine. I’ve seen this type of thing happen in dramas and movies but in real life? Nope never experienced something like that happening, well that is until now.

 

The way she puffs her cheeks frustrated and annoyed is so adorable I can’t take my eyes off of her. The way she stomps her feet at the machine angry for taking her money reminds me of a little kid not getting the toy they want. The whole thing just puts the biggest smile on my face.

 

She kicks the vending machine and that’s when I lose it, I can’t help but laugh out loud at her clumsy way of getting revenge on the machine while hurting herself in the process.

 

“Umm how long have you been standing there?” I see how embarrassed she is and I don’t think she can get any cuter. I mean she is a tomato right now.

 

“Oh you know just the whole 5 minutes” I say trying not to laugh

 

The look on her face when she realised I had been there the whole time watching, I’m slowly about to lose my cool and just laugh at how adorable she is.

 

“Just so you know I’m not this weird and I don’t always talk to machines, it just stole my money and I paid for my favorite drink and just . . . I’ll stop talking now.” She looks down with an appalled look, and I crack I can’t hold my laughter in anymore.

 

“that was the most entertainment I’ve had all night” I hold my stomach and just burst into giggles and laughter.

After I’ve calmed down I see her smiling back at me, how is her smile so contagious?

 

“It was very cute, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone yell at a machine before let alone yell at one so cutely.”

 

. . . Did I really just say that, Jung Hoseok why would you even.

Oh gosh what if she thinks I’m weird or trying to hit on her.

What if she thinks I’m a playboy or a flirt oh gosh why did I say that.

I need to learn to keep my thoughts to myself!

 

“Thanks, but I’m not cute I’m actually the complete opposite but I love your smile.”

 

Did I hear that correctly? I’m not hearing things right? She said she loves my smile!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

I try my best not to bounce up and down with joy on the spot and instead I give her the best smile I could muster.

 

Hah she loves my smile I bet she has never said that to anyone else before.

 

Soyang’s POV

 

Before we could continue with our awkward conversation we were both interrupted by the Principle of Big Hit Academy. We both bow to him in respect.

 

“Hoseok can you please leave there are some things I would like to talk to Soyang about privately”

 

I feel Hoseok look at me and we share short eye contact before he smiles and leaves to find the others.

 

“Soyang I’ll cut to the chase, I want you to attend Big Hit Academy.”

 

I’m so surprised at what he just said why would anyone want me to attend such a prestigious academy like this one.

 

“I’m sorry sir, but I don’t think I have the talents or ability to attend Big Hit Academy, I would be a hopeless, talentless student that would just take up space.” He looks at me for a minute, and that is so unnerving.

 

“You don’t see just how much talent you have Soyang, the way you sing so emotionally is possibly one of the best I’ve ever seen. I see something in you, something that is waiting to be trained and let out. And I am willing to do just that for you, we will train you in all things music, and I can see deep down you really want to.”

 

“I’m sorry sir I just don’t think I’m capable of the things you want from me” I keep my head down not wanting to disappoint him. But that’s just it if I do attend Big Hit Academy I’m scared I won’t meet his expectations.

 

“Soyang, you have no dream at the moment right? You don’t know what you want to do? I have seen you interact with the other students, I’m sure you want to get to know them better, I can let you do that. We can enhance your singing, bring out your musicality, we may be hard working and serious but we also have fun and lots of fun at that.”

 

I can feel myself being swayed by what he is saying, it all makes a lot of sense but I still need to think everything over.

 

“Okay, let’s do it this way, you attend Big Hit Academy for 3 months to see if you like it and if we can ignite a fire that’s inside of you and if we realise your dreams we will let you stay. If you dislike it here then after the 3 months we will let you leave, but only after the 3 months are over.”

 

I think this over for the next 5 minutes, I don’t have any dreams, no motivation for anything for anything right now. This sounds like a pretty good deal when I think about it, going to lessons with Jieun Unnie is a bonus, plus getting to know the new friends I’ve made better, this could actually be fun.

 

I’ve made my decision.

“Sir, I think I agree, I’ll attend Big Hit Academy for 3 months”

 

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Heyy Guys ^_^

Long time no see right?

I'm sorry for not updating regularly things have been hectic lately and may get worse in the future.

But I won't give up on this story I will update even if I update slowly I'm very sorry for that ;~;

Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read my story it means a lot!!

Make sure you comment on how my story is going and any constructive things would be really helpful ^_^

Okay, stay healthy and happy Byeeeeeeeeeeee

ALWAYS SMILE ^_^

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