In Your Eyes - Craig Lyons

Chapter Seven

Love

“So…” Lu Han mumbled, voice coming off as flippant rather than serious. “We’re left alone, huh.” he gulped, rubbing his nape with a snort. “Looks like your ‘boyfriend’ ditched you for your cousin.”

She wasn’t supposed to be there, actually. Had it not been for Jisoo and Sehun’s betrayal, then Jaera wouldn’t be sitting right across Lu Han, drinking Soju with him. Apparently, the two had told Lu Han the truth behind Jaera’s back. The whole commotion the other day at the university was only a part of their plan to force Jaera into confronting Lu Han once and for all—one that she had refused to do ever since the start.

Being the easily fooled girl that she was, when Jisoo and Sehun told her that they wanted to check out the condo unit of Lu Han for rental purposes, she easily believed them. At first, she just wanted to give them the key to the unit and let them enter the place on their own, but even before she could give the idea, she already found herself dragged outside the unit. And when she was finally inside, the two culprits immediately fled the scene with the reason of ‘being late for their Friday late night date’.

And if it wasn’t enough, Lu Han was there all along.

Gripping the clear glass in her hands tightly, Jaera breathed heavily and closed her eyes, both anxious and unsure of the current situation.

Jaera would be lying if she said that she didn’t want to see Lu Han. Jisoo, Sehun, and her family would clearly accuse her of being a hypocrite if she even try to deny the fact that she missed Lu Han greatly. It had been three years since they last saw each other, and God knows how much she had felt incomplete during that time. It’s as though she was slowly dying because of an incurable disease.

But then again, the prospect of seeing Lu Han in person was too much for her.

It wasn’t about the fact that she had accused Lu Han of cheating anymore. Neither was it because of her stupidity and lack of rationality. Rather, she hadn’t prepared herself yet for such meeting—confrontation as Jisoo and Sehun wanted to call it. She hadn’t sorted out her thoughts yet and was still in a state of puzzlement. She had so many questions to ask. She wanted to be enlightened.

And yet she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to hear the answers to her questions, herself.

Why did he leave me? Why did he suddenly stop contacting me? Why did he suddenly disappear and secluded himself? Why did we still make that promise?  Jaera’s mind was boggled with so many thoughts and questions that she didn’t even know where to start.

But the one question that she wanted to ask the most was also the one whose answer she feared of hearing the most.

Does he still love me?

Many things had changed since they parted from each other—Jaera, Lu Han, and almost everything around them. Jaera’s hair was only up to her shoulders now, long leaving its straightness and opting for curls. Her usual pale skin was now enhanced by a light touch of powder every now and then, and her actions were less brash and more careful now—courtesy of Jisoo and Seongim’s divine teachings.

Lu Han as well, his hair wasn’t frost blonde anymore. It was already jet black. The minimal baby fats in his face were no longer, making his high cheek bones more visible. His stature was already fit before, but even as it was hard to believe, his built was even better now than Kai’s—and that’s saying something.

Even their relationship wasn’t an exception. Sure enough, they had made a promise between each other that no matter what happens, nothing will change between them. That the love that they had protected will still be one. That their hearts that had been played with by destiny will still be together.

But even that was doubtful, for Lu Han himself was the first one to give up.

Jaera still loved him with her all, but Lu Han himself had already turned into a mystery.

So how sure can Jaera be that she still has a place inside his heart?

“Aren’t you going to speak?” Lu Han asked, approaching the living room after locking the front door. “Are you just going to stare at your drink forever?” he smirked as he plopped himself right in front of Jaera. “You’re already twenty-one. Surely, you can drink now… unlike three years ago when we were at the balcony[1]—“ before he could even finish his sentence, Jaera had already gulped down the whole contents of the glass in her hands, placing it rather harshly on the center table with a loud thud.

Smirking, Lu Han poured soju in Jaera’s glass again. “This is nice, huh.” he said in satisfaction, pouring one for him as well. “I’ve always dreamed of being able to drink with you, you know.”

Albeit hesitant, Jaera decided to take the glass down in one shot.  She was already on her fifth shot and the effects of the drink were finally kicking in. She was starting to feel hot and lightheaded, but Jaera already expected it to happen anyway since unlike Lu Han, she couldn’t hold her alcohol for her dear life. But even though she already knew it, she still decided to go along with the male’s antics. She didn’t have any choice anyway since even before she arrived at the place, Jisoo had already tricked her into drinking one as though to ensure that she wouldn’t run away.

Jaera, despite unprepared about the sudden meeting, didn’t have any plans to run away. True, she did so before but there was no point in trying to run away anymore. She was just prolonging the anxiety and stress that had already built up inside of her for the past three years. She might be afraid to hear the exact answers that Lu Han will give her, but she knew that it would still be better to be enlightened with the truth than to be fed with lies.

Besides, the alcohol running in her system was giving her unbelievable courage and confidence. The alcohol running in her system was gathering up all of the pent up feelings inside of her. The alcohol running in her system was slowly turning her into a mess.

Suddenly remembering everything from the past, Jaera’s heart started pounding as her eyes slowly pooled with tears.

It was now or never.

“Fine, you caught me. Sehun’s not my boyfriend,” Jaera started, putting down the emptied glass on the table. “But neither are you.” she said, turning to Lu Han with creased eyebrows. “I don’t even know what kind of relationship we have anymore… I don’t know my standing in your life anymore…”

Surprised, Lu Han turned to her with a nervous look. “Jaera—“

“Look, I don’t even know what happened to us… I don’t even know what happened to the promise that we made!” Jaera cried, tears finally staining her face as she stared back at Lu Han. “You said that we’ll still be together! You said that no matter what happens, we’ll never break! You told me to be strong, and I did everything… yet you didn’t even try!” Gritting her teeth harshly, Jaera swallowed hard and said, “You were the first one to give up!”

Lu Han was at a loss for words. All this time he thought that Jaera only refused to speak to him out of annoyance and embarrassment—coming from the fact that she had mistaken him from doing something which he didn’t do.

However, the reason was much deeper than that.

Lu Han berated himself for thinking that it was simple as that. He, of all people, should know best that Jaera wasn’t a shallow person.