I held the pills in my palm, staring down at it, before I clenched my hand shut. I was addicted, but for all the wrong reasons. I couldn’t care less about how the drugs made me feel, all I cared about was ‘winning’ this twisted game Yongguk liked to play. I could feel the rage and hatred boiling inside of me, not for Yongguk, but for myself. I may have been higher than I have ever been before, but I've never thought so clearly in my life. 

My life is ruined. I was no longer living.

The future held nothing for me, all hope gone.

 There was no reason to continue on with a lifeless body, spirit already dead.

A relieved sigh escaped my lips, and I looked around the apartment. It was quiet, with only the sound of falling water coming from the other side of the wall. The light was dim, coming only from a lamp on the night stand. All the furniture was run down and old, the walls in need of a desperate paint job, the floor creaking by itself; was this really all I had to live for? My eyes roamed the apartment, wandering from wall to wall, when I noticed the bottles of alcohol on the kitchen floor tucked away in the corner. The vodka bottles were hardly touched, Yongguk wasn't much of a drinker and although I preferred it over drugs, I hated drinking alone. I got up from my seat and scurried towards it, picking up a bottle and scanning it top to bottom. I thought for a moment before popping it open and taking a gulp.

"All or nothing," I sarcastically chanted to myself, throwing the two pills in my mouth and taking a long sip of vodka.

“Sleeping without me?” he called out, chuckling slightly.

No response.

“Yah, jagiya~” he soothingly chanted.

Yongguk sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook her leg, “wake up babe,” he quietly cooed.

Again, no response.

He pulled himself up next to her and gently kissed her cheek, but something seemed different, something wasn’t right.

“Hey, can you hear me?” he began to worry, as he shook her shoulder. She didn’t respond, his concern growing. He shook her harder, her body lifelessly falling over so she was lying on her back. Yongguk began to panic; he yelled out her name and repeatedly patted her cheeks with both hands, trying to bring her back around. “Yah!” he screamed out, “wake up!” He brought his ear to right above , listening for breathing; nothing. He could smell the alcohol on her, only heightening his concern. He moved his head lower, resting his ear on her chest desperately hoping for a heartbeat; again nothing. His fingers pressed on her neck, her wrist, searching for a pulse, for the slightest sign of life, but each time, there was nothing.

“Phone,” he breathed out, his head wiping from side to side looking for his phone. He saw it on the side table and rushed for it, his hands trembling in terror. Clumsily, Yongguk dialed the number, calling for help, yelling at the emergency dispatcher. Once he knew help was on its way, he dropped his phone and hurried back to her side, cradling her in his chest, her body heavy and lifeless. He stared down at her face, her cheeks no longer glowing pink like they usually did, dark circles sagging below her eyes. Yongguk buried his face in her hair, the familiar strawberry scent bringing tears to his eyes.

“Idiot,” he breathed out, letting the tears fall. “Idiot, idiot, idiot.” But he wasn’t referring to her; he knew that the only idiot in this situation was himself.

There was a banging on the door, and loud voices coming from the other side. Help was finally there, but Yongguk knew it was too late; with the little bit of hope he had left, he forced himself off the bed and opened the door. Paramedics rushed in, almost knocking him over before wheeling a gurney to the bed side.

Yongguk just watched as the paramedics made an attempt to save her, but he knew they couldn’t bring back what was already gone. His back pressed against the wall and he crumbled to the floor, curling up into a ball, his hands in his hair, almost pulling it out. He sobbed uncontrollably, crying out for the girl he loved, the one who stayed by his side despite everything he put her through.

“I’m sorry,” Yongguk croaked; he buried his face in his arms and let out muffled screams, repeatedly yelling, “I’m sorry!”

He watched through his blurred vision as the paramedics moved her body onto the gurney and covered her with a white sheet. “We’re sorry for your loss sir,” one of the men said to him, slightly bowing before they wheeled her dead body out the door.

“NO!” Yongguk shouted, his body falling forward. His fists banged the floor, “ARGH!” he roared, cursing himself under his breath. “I’m sorry,” he fell to his side, pulling his knees to his chest, mumbling to himself, crying out to her.

“I did this… It’s all my fault… I’m sorry… I love you…”

Fin

Well, that's the end. I hope you guys enjoyed~ Comment if you liked it, or even if you didn't :P

Thanks so much for reading! (And sorry if some of my facts are off)

Farewell for now~ and thanks again! It means so much that you guys stuck around till the end! <3