TITLE: Not a Princess

AUTHOR: Manunulat

PAIRING: Syungric

GENRE: fluff, angst and drama

WARNINGS: Bad language.

DISCLAIMERS: Totally invented Eric's and Hyesung's activities between 2008-2010 and totally distorted the timeline to suit my story.  I also stole some facts from Hyun Bin's military career.  Other than that, I did NOT research about the military thingies and stuff.  And I absolutely do not know how songs are made and recorded.  Just close your eyes on my blunders, okay?  The timeline is not linear so you might want to take note of the dates in order to understand the story.

SUMMARY: On October 9, 2008, Eric Mun aka Mun Jung Hyuk entered the Marine Corps' training center located in Pohang of the North Gyeonggi Province.  He was the first Shinhwa member to start his military duty.  Cut off from family and friends, Eric wrote letters to Shin Hyesung to ease his loneliness during the 21 months of his mandatory military service. 

ARTWORK: makkana_ai

                                                       *      *      *

May 2010

 

He woke up with a start.  His breathing came in harsh pants matching his heartbeat that thudded like horses' hooves at a racetrack.  His hair was plastered to his forehead by the sweat that beaded all over his face and neck despite the air-conditioning in his bedroom.  His eyes were wide open trying to focus in the dimly-lit room to get his bearings.  He sighed for a moment, relieved it was all a dream.  But in the few seconds that his brain took to process everything, he closed his eyes once more.  His entire body tightened as the tension returned. 

 

His nightmare is real.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                           *     *     *

December 12, 2008

 

Hey, Princess!

 

How are you?  Wherever you are, I wish I was there with you.

 

The first five weeks had been kinda... hellish.  Just thinking about it again literally makes my body hurt! 

 

Like they told us at the briefing, the first four weeks had been spent on basic close-order drills, guerrilla training, and basic airlifting training.  It was okaaaaay, I guess.  I mean, it was slightly an extension of my usual training with martial arts multiplied by 250 hours!  My muscles cried rivers of blood!  Why didn't I do this when I was much younger?  Oh yeah... busy getting famous and trying to build a fortune.

 

The fifth week was even MORE intensive training!  For a moment, I seriously questioned the sanity of my superiors.  They seemed like the devil's own minions to demand such crazy feats from us mere mortals.  We did infiltration training, night fighting training, night quartering, rifle drills, and landing drills.  Holy !  Those rifles are so ing heavy!  My arms felt like they were about to fall off. 

 

Why did I sign up for this again?  I could have just been a public service worker manning some ticket booth at a train station.  But noooooo.....  I had to ace the test and put myself in active duty just because I overheard someone saying soldiers look so hot in their fatigues.  Ugh!  That person better be visiting me on Christmas so that that person will see just exactly how good I look in my uniform.

 

Write me back!

 

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

He got the first letter five days before Christmas.  It took awhile to reach him because he was in Japan for promotional activities.  It was handed over to him the next day he arrived back in Seoul. 

 

He tore open the envelope skeptically, unsure what to expect.  Somehow, as he unfolded the paper, he had a feeling he was going to regret this. 

 

He was right. 

 

He rolled his eyes at the salutation and snorted after quickly scanning the content.  He thought he'd be free of his teasing for 21 months but, surprise, he was wrong.  He's not sure which is worse -- being teased in person or on paper.  After giving it a thought, he decided paper is definitely worse.  At least his retaliation would be swift and painful had his tormentor been within striking distance.  On paper... there's no fighting back. 

 

Oh, wait!  There is! 

 

Write you back?  Now why would I do that?  His lips curled into a wicked grin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 5, 2009

 

Seriously? 

 

Not even a Christmas card after your no-show?  Princess, you're lucky I'm a very understanding guy.

 

Lots of families visited during the holidays.  They looked at me with pity in their eyes because I was all alone.  Okay, so you probably know Minwoo, Andy and Jinnie were here.  I don't know where Dongwan is.  Do you know where he went this time?  Well, at least he sent me a gift.  Yeah, I bet you got the same herbal supplements, huh?  But hey!  It's something!  Unlike someone I know who gave me absolutely nothing!

 

Tell me you'll be visiting me on my birthday.  You are, right?  Coz you looooove me... you wanna huuuuuug me... you wanna daaaaaaate me... hahahahahaha!  Yes, you do!

 

I'm expecting you.

 

See you soon, Princess!

 

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

He squirmed a little at the petulant words that looked like they wanted to physically drag him inside the white bond paper.  He did feel guilty but he just couldn't visit.  He could make lots of excuses about being busy with his work but they both know they're thinner than a spider's web.

 

The truth was (and stupid as it sounds) he doesn't see the point of visiting for a few hours after not seeing each other for many months. 

 

He thinks it's cruel but he's going to do it anyway because he's a weak man. 

 

He absolutely hates it but he's going to do it anyway because he knows he'll regret staying away. 

 

He can already imagine the smug smile that would be greeting him but he's going to do it anyway because he knows how to wipe that smug smile off.

 

He's going to be super awkward when he goes there but he's going to do it anyway because he won't be the only one who's going to be awkward.

 

He hates that guy but he's going to visit him anyway because he really doesn't.

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 17, 2009

 

By the time this letter reaches you, I hope you are out of the hospital and on your way to recovery.  I shouldn't have forced you to come and visit.  I just learned today that the roads going here are really very slippery during winter and accidents occur quite often.  Had I known that before, I would have warned you or told you not to come.  Right now, I'm a step away from going crazy.  My mind is imagining some awful things.  Please be okay. 

 

Please be okay. 

 

Just... please be okay. 

 

I'm so sorry I can't be there. 

 

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                     *     *     *

 

June 2010

 

The entire country was on high alert.  Most people were glued to their television sets watching the news.  He was no exception.

 

North Korea threatening to bomb the South is nothing new.  Although they don't take the threat lightly, most people go on with their lives as if they eat nuclear missiles for breakfast.  He was one of those people before.  But not anymore, not when you know one of the soldiers stationed at the demilitarized zone.

 

He'd hold his breath every time the news channel gives an update, as if his breathing would be too loud and he'd miss hearing the important details. 

 

He clasped his hands together tightly to stop the slight tremor.  Living on caffeine has taken its toll on him.  But what can he do?  He hasn't had a good night's sleep in months.  Stupid lunatic dictator!

 

                                                      *     *     *

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 24, 2009

 

When I received your letter yesterday, I though Christmas came especially early for me.  Man, was I so relieved to hear from you.  I'm really sorry to hear about your new injuries.  Rehabilitation always but I'm glad there was no permanent damage.  You can do it!  I believe in you.  You may not be the strongest person I know but you're certainly the most stubborn, Princess.

 

For some reason, the higher-ups are restricting visits so I guess we'll only be communicating through letters from now on.  I really wanted to see you though.  At least we can still watch TV here.  But it won't be the same. 

 

Oh, by the way, I saw you dancing with the Wonder Girls.  I almost fell out of my chair laughing.  And before you get angry, no, I wasn't laughing at the way you danced.  You know I think you're the number 5 best dancer in Shinhwa.  What was funny was all the guys here were so happy cheering for the Wonder Girls and I was thinking what would their reaction be if I loudly chanted your name?  I'd be the only guy shouting "Shin Hyesung" ... hahahahah! No, I didn't do it for real but can you imagine it?  It's just too funny!  Well, they did give me weird looks as I laughed my head off... perhaps they thought I was happy to see you?

 

E

 

P.S.

 

Happy 11th anniversary, Princess!

 

11 YEARS!!!!!!!  Can you believe it?  I can't wait for our comeback.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Performing as a solo artist has its appeal.  Actually, just one -- he can sing any song he wants to his heart's content.  As vain as it sounds, he really does like hearing his own voice.  What?  It's awesome!  Thousands of other people think so judging by his album sales.

 

The money isn't bad either.  It's a good way to make a living.  Not that he's ever had any complaints about splitting the pay check into six equal parts.  But the other guys wanted to have their own individual activities as well.  They've outgrown the need to be only six.  They will forever be six but they have matured enough to pursue personal interests.  Holding on to only six would seem too clingy.  And he is not clingy.

 

But he certainly looks forward to their comeback as well.  Performing as Shinhwa has numerous appeals, besides the obvious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

August 31, 2009

 

I can't believe that I've been here for almost a year and will still be here for 10 months more. 

 

I still haven't made any real friends here.  But then again my definition of "friend" is different from the usual.  Aside from being strangers forced to live together for 21 months, the "celebrity" status adds another level of awkward.  I try and make the extra effort to make them comfortable but you know me.  You know you.  We're not exactly the sociable type.  In situations like these, I always wish I were Minwoo.  But don't tell him that!  Don't get me wrong, the guys here are nice but it's just different, you know?  I guess I am spoiled that I have long-time friends.  Making new ones is hard.  I really miss you guys.

 

Hey!  Are you mad at me or something?  Because aside from your first letter, all the rest were quite short.  Seems to me like you're holding a grudge or something.  Yah!  You better tell me because I can't read the expression on your face.  All I have are words and it's not like we've exchanged a lot of letters through the years to understand your written words (spoken, yes, they're easy coz I can see you).  No, the notes on your albums don't count and neither are those written as part of a publicity stunt.  This is probably the first time that we've been writing to each other, right, Princess?  (Shouldn't we be spraying our letters with perfume or something?)

 

So........ tell me!

 

E

 

 

 

 

 

They say elephants never forget. 

 

He may have selective memory but his selective memory is as good as an elephant's.  To cut the story short, yeah... he's holding a grudge.  But grudge sounds too sinister.  Thank you, Japanese horror movie director, for forever making me associate that word with a pale-faced terrifying-looking child.

 

It's so predictable but, yes, he is sporting his trademark pout.  In his mind!  In his mind, okay?  His face is not frozen into a pout.  What a ridiculous image that would be!

 

It's just... he sighed and crumpled the draft he was writing.  Ugh!  He hates writing by hand.  That's why Bill Gates invented the printer!  So people won't need to write messy letters!  Who can write perfectly without any mistakes?  Perfect people that's who!  It pains him to admit that he is not one of these perfect people.  Well, God had already shown him enough favoritism by giving him good looks to match his heavenly voice.  Any more and the angels might have gone on strike.

 

(But his mother drilled it into his head that personal letters should be handwritten; printing them reeks insincerity.  So....)

 

Wait!  Did Bill Gate invent the printer?  Or was it Steve Jobs?  Oh well, whatever!  That's not important.  What he wants to emphasize is that just because people are far away at the moment, they just can't call other people names, okay?  Distance simply does not excuse any impugnment on a man's manliness.  Absolutely not!

 

Of course, he never wrote this all down.

 

If you can't read my mind, you're an idiot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

October 15, 2009

 

I've thought it over and I realized what's making you angry.  I cannot (CANNOT!!!) believe you're still mad at me about that!  That was nine years ago!  HELLO!!! NINE YEARS!!!  And you know that was just a joke!  Well, the beating you gave me was no joke.  But.........

 

Hey, I didn't even realize that I was making you recall a "painful past".  I can't believe I forgot that incident.  Now that I remember, there's no way I will forget it again.  And since we're separated by dozens and dozens of miles, you can't kick my this time, Princess!

 

You really make a beautiful Princess!  Did I tell you that you fit right in with the Wonder Girls?  With that white ruffled shirt you were wearing and your hair in a cute ponytail? Pretty Princess Pilgyo!!!

 

In case my next letter misses the date, I just want to greet you an advanced happy birthday, Princess!  My beautiful Princess is going to be 30 but you look as young as you were nine years ago.

 

Take care, Princess!

 

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

He couldn't hold it in.  He had to scream his annoyance, regardless of the staff outside who could hear him.

 

His manager, along with two other staff members, came running to his dressing room.  "What's wrong?"

 

He couldn't speak so he just lifted the crumpled letter for his startled manager to see. 

 

"Ah!" his manager answered knowingly and ducked his head, but not quick enough to hide the smile that sprang on his lips.  The amused man backed away and quickly closed the door to give the singer back his privacy.

 

"Yah!" he yelled at the closed door.  "What are you smiling about?  You think this is funny?"  He knows his manager will let his tantrums slide.  He really doesn't mean it anyway.  He just wanted to release some stress.

 

Yes, it was nine years ago but it still doesn't fail to infuriate him.  And the latest letter (as well as the previous ones) was just rubbing it in.  What had been an annoyance to read before was multiplied six times now and then some!  That... that... loach!

 

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

 

I hate you so much. 

 

It was the shortest letter he ever wrote back to date.

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 27, 2009

 

Hi, Princess!

 

How are you?  Sorry it took me this long to write you back but we had some classified stuff to do and the higher-ups even banned writing letters.

 

Anyway, your last letter was very... um... concise.  But I'm just going to pretend that you meant the opposite of what you wrote.  And I return your feelings completely. 

 

I've been doing nothing but reminisce about the past in the very few breaks that we have.  Of course, it only made me miss you more but it does help drive the loneliness away.  It seems like the closer it is to the discharge date, the more that I can't wait to go home. 

 

Seven more months to go!  Prepare a feast, Princess!  Your knight-in-shining-fatigues is coming home.

 

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                     *     *     *

 

January 2001

 

Shin Hyesung and Eric Mun were best friends by default.  They shared a room in a dorm so, of course, they grew closer as time passed.  Eric rarely sleeps before midnight and Hyesung likes to sleep with background noise (that was how he coped since he can't give in to his need to touch someone while sleeping... well, to clarify, nobody wanted to give in to his need to touch... all very innocently, of course) -- noise that Eric provided with his late night softly spoken ramblings.  But unlike other best buddies, they don't act very chummy... quite the opposite actually.  Their relationship was cemented by good-natured pranks with Hyesung trying hard to be good-natured and Eric pulling pranks left and right.  They often end up fighting but they also always make up a few hours later. 

 

Always. 

 

Because deep down, they had come to understand each other perfectly. 

 

But perfect is boring. 

 

Mock fighting is fun. 

 

Really, really fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hyesung was just an innocent young man who did his best to follow whatever his managers and Lee Soo Man told him to do.  He worked hard to earn his keep and chase the fame and fortune that he and five other boys had been dreaming about.

 

Six boys in one roof... well... everyday is a struggle. 

 

A struggle to keep the peace (and the furnitures in one piece) among hot-tempered and mischievous misfits. 

 

A struggle to keep the place just clean enough not to attract disease-carrying rats and roaches. 

 

A struggle to avoid giving themselves food poisoning from their culinary misadventures. 

 

They try to adhere to a schedule.  Sometimes they're successful, sometimes they're not.

 

This was one of the times they were not successful.  He was not successful.

 

Hyesung had run out of clean underwear.  He forgot that it was his turn to do the laundry.  And now that he finally did his chore, all his boxers were now spinning around in the washing machine.  But no worries, he can always borrow Eric's stuff anyway... everybody does.  So he went straight to Eric's drawer.

 

"Yah!  All my boxers are in the washer." That was how Hyesung asked for permission.  Because they're cool like that.  Not!

 

His roommate, who was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, made a consenting noise but then a second later, he suddenly sat up and screamed, "Wait!"

 

It was too late.  Hyesung's hand had already encountered the edge of a small notebook hidden underneath the pile of imported undies. 

 

Having lived with the Shinhwa members for almost three years now, Hyesung has learned to survive among these troublemakers and that is to take the upper hand whenever and however he could.  Hyesung had just been served this opportunity on a golden platter.  To turn it down would be such a waste, not to mention utterly foolish!

 

He held on to the notebook tightly as his roommate tried to divest it from him.  As they were around the same height, Hyesung brought his hands close to his middle and struggled to keep the loot he found.  He laughed as he teased Eric, "What is this?  Are you writing a love letter to your girlfriend?"

 

"It's nothing!  It's nothing!  Give it back!" his roommate's voice sounded panicked, which gave Hyesung even more fuel to retain his hold.

 

As they scuffled about the room, the two boys eventually fell on the bed.  Hyesung was on his stomach lying on top of the notebook.  He squirmed and fought Eric's attempts to snatch it.  Afraid of losing his treasure before reading it, Hyesung risked taking it out and tried to focus on the letters on the paper. 

 

"NO!  Give it back!" Eric yelled again.

 

Hyesung elbowed Eric to buy some time.  When Eric grunted in pain, he took the chance to read the first page.  "Why Jung Pilgyo is a Princess."

 

The moment he read the words out loud, Eric immediately grew still as the statue that people were always comparing him to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Number 1, Jung Pilgyo is obsessed with his hair.  His hands and hair are like an iron and a magnet, always attracted towards each other.  Not a minute goes by that he's not touching his hair to check if it's in place.  He spends more time in front of the mirror than Snow White's evil stepmother."

 

Eric got up slowly from the bed as Hyesung's voice grew horrifyingly cold, as cold as a witch's .

 

"Number 2, Jung Pilgyo is tall and slender just like a Victoria's Secret model.  He does not work out at all, even when we all go to the gym.  The gym has a lot of mirrors so... you know.  It's very distracting for him.  The only thing he lifts is his little finger whenever he sings... and when he drinks."

 

Eric quietly backed away from the bed as if Hyesung was a wild animal he didn't want to startle.  He could feel Hyesung's burning reaction to his little private joke.

 

"Number 3, Jung Pilgyo secretly likes to wear wigs and women's clothing.  He says he doesn't but it's ALWAYS his idea.  Really!  Always.  If I were a magic mirror, I would definitely tell him that he's the prettiest of us all."

 

The noises coming out of Hyesung's throat had changed from indignation to anger to homicidal rage.  There were two more pages filled with ridiculous reasons in Eric's handwriting.

 

"Um... Hyesung-ah... I... I can explain?" Eric, who was three feet away, spoke tentatively.

 

"YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Eric hit the ground running as soon as Hyesung started screaming, which could be heard from outside their apartment.  The other Shinhwa members had a devil of a time restraining their murderous main vocalist from killing their laughing leader.

 

                                                     *     *     *

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 3, 2010

 

Yo, Princess!

 

What's up? 

 

Hey, I got your album.  Congrats!  A Korean singer releasing a Japanese album... WOW!   I'm very proud of you. 

 

But I have a question.  Why the hell does everything sound so depressing?  Hahahaha!  Did you miss me?  Princess, I certainly miss you.  Lately, I keep thinking about the time we wrote Destiny of Love.  Do you remember?   I do and probably will until the day I die.  I mean how can I forget the best and yet most embarrassing moment of my life, huh?   By the way, have I ever said thank you?  If I didn't, well, this is me officially saying thank you for being brave enough for the both of us.

 

Five more months to go, Princess!

 

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                     *     *     *

 

May 2008

 

It was an hour before midnight and they've been at the recording studio for 36 hours already.  They were releasing a repackaged edition of their ninth album and they wanted to add a new track to thank the overwhelming support they received from their fans even though their promotional activities for Volume 9 had been limited.

 

The rest of the members and even the staff and technicians went home for some much needed rest.  Eric and Hyesung, but mostly Hyesung, insisted on remaining because he was determined to finish writing the song.  Something wasn't right and Hyesung wants to fix it before the sun rises up again.  Actually, Eric had already finished writing the rap part.  But he didn't say that.  He went along and parroted Hyesung that some changes needed to be made before it can be considered finished.  In truth, Eric just didn't want to leave Hyesung working on his own especially when the song was both their project. 

 

Hyesung is a bit of a perfectionist.  He would always worry and work himself to exhaustion until he's satisfied with his output.  Eric knew that.  He also volunteered to stay so Taehak wouldn't feel obligated to remain behind.  Even though Hyesung had told Taehak to go home, Taehak hadn't listened until Eric said so.

 

Eric himself was ready to crash and sleep on the nearest available flat surface despite all the Red Bulls he drank.  An engine will not run on fumes forever.  It will have to stop eventually.  But the sound engineer's booth didn't exactly have much space to move, even lesser space to sleep. 

 

Then there was Hyesung.  Regardless of his weak body, Eric's mind was strong and willing enough to get through the rest of the night.  As he stifled a yawn, he was suddenly reminded of the rap he wrote for Wedding March.

 

No matter how tired I am

I will always protect you until forever

My love...

 

Doesn't matter how tired I am

As long as I can be your other half

I will continue to dream

It will last forever

 

Eric remembered how they worked themselves to the ground to make their third album as successful as the second one.  He may have been thinking about Hyesung when he wrote those rap lyrics.  And he also thought he was being very stupid and foolish.  Eric convinced himself that he was just being sentimental and he was mistaking their closeness for love. 

 

Despite his propensity to fix his hair every so often and his noisy mother-hen nature, Hyesung had a macho complex a mile wide.  Eric didn't think for one second that Hyesung might think that way about him too.  Eric never spoke to anyone about his... feelings.  Feelings, which he keeps locked in a coffin (coz, yeah, that's how big his feelings are) and buried six feet under.  But like its owner, these feelings are very slippery that they escape once in a while, especially when times are tough and when they're both alone with no buffer between them.  Eric usually would be left with nothing to say because he gets overwhelmed as his feelings for Hyesung would suddenly sneak up from behind and smother him speechless.

 

Eric doesn't remember when he started liking Hyesung or even loving him.  There was no earth-shattering moment of discovery.  For him, he had always liked Hyesung.  When that like turned to love, he's not sure.  He doesn't even fully understand his feelings.  He just loves him and he doesn't know why.  All he knows is he just does and it doesn't go away (despite threats, intimidation and incarceration).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hyesung felt wide awake and energized.  The words are pouring and he can feel the song is almost finished.  The verses are broken and disjointed no more as Hyesung saw the bridge that was needed to connect them together.  He eyed Eric, who was slouched on a chair and doodling on a paper.  He knew there was no reason for Eric to stay.  Eric had finished writing the rap for the song several hours ago.  But he was grateful for his company because Eric had provided him the much needed inspiration to complete the lyrics.

 

Hyesung let out a pleased sound as he put his pen down.  He was finally happy with the song.  Not that it was a happy song.  In fact, it was downright miserable.  He rolled his chair towards Eric and handed him the lyrics to read.  He watched closely for the little movements on Eric's face, the clenching of his jaw, the tightening of his lips and even the way he blinked.

 

"It's very good," Eric said still staring at Hyesung's chicken scratches on paper.  Hyesung had made... some effort to write more legibly since other people needed to read the lyrics.

 

Eric smiled and pointed to some lines, "I really like these parts."

 

Even if I hurt 'til I die I will still wait for you, until you come  

 

I can’t let you go, I definitely can’t let you go

Baby, please don’t leave me alone, please come back

 

Hyesung silently in a breath.  He wondered if Eric knew.  He wondered if Eric was able to read between the lines he wrote.  Had Eric discovered his secret?

 

Hyesung hummed in response.  He didn't know what to say.  Should he say, yeah that's just me baring my soul and begging shamelessly?

 

Next year, Eric will be doing military service.  The idiot planned to serve as an active duty soldier.  That means he'll be cut off from the outside world with only a handful of vacation days here and there if the situation allows.  So Hyesung just basically put himself in that timeline and wrote the song.

 

"Is any of it true?"

 

This was the fifth song that they wrote together and yet it was the first time Eric had ever asked Hyesung that question.  Hyesung stared at Eric, who was looking at him curiously.

 

Hyesung carefully thought it over for several minutes.  Eric didn't budge or change the subject when he didn't answer right away.  In the end, he simply said, "Yes."

 

"Anyone I know?" The follow-up question came swiftly as if Eric had been expecting his answer.  But for someone so curious, Eric didn't meet his gaze this time.  Instead, Shinhwa's leader exuded a very uncharacteristic air of fear.  It was hardly noticeable but Hyesung felt it.  Was Eric afraid of what he will say?  Interesting...

 

"Why do you ask?" Hyesung countered, buying time, as he leaned back on his chair to examine Eric critically.  There was no teasing to the tone of his voice.  In fact, it was liquid like honey to keep Eric talking.

 

"It seemed pretty painful and I don't think I've ever seen you depressed," Eric muttered, feigning an interest in his fingernails.

 

"That's because it hasn't happened yet," Hyesung leaned forward to whisper, teasing Eric, because suddenly it felt okay to come clean.  Eric had an air about him that says Hyesung can take a chance and he's not going to regret it.

 

"But you said it's true," Eric looked up, his voice laced with protest.  All Hyesung could hear was the unspoken plea and hope that he was talking about Eric.  He was. 

 

"It will be true," Hyesung said confidently, bringing himself closer in Eric's space.

 

"How do you know for sure?" The words fell from Eric's lips softly.

 

"Because it will happen next year," Hyesung explained patiently, his eyes never leaving Eric's face.  Eric would have to be exceedingly slow-witted if he didn't understand the meaning behind his words now.  Eric is a lot of things but dumb isn't one of them (well, he may act like a sometimes but he's not actually dumb... he's just mostly an ).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eric chuckled nervously, mirth left way behind.  "You must be psychic then," he joked as he stood up awkwardly. 

 

He was running away from hope.  He believed he was being chased by a false one and he didn't want to be caught and have his heart broken.  He likes his heart intact, thank you very much.  He's lived with hiding his feelings for years; he can continue doing so for the next several decades.

 

Time to go home and forget this conversation ever happened.

 

But then Jung Pilgyo suddenly became so un-Jung Pilgyo.  Hyesung's not even around (well, Hyesung is rarely around when it's just the two of them).  There's just this Pilgyo who is not Pilgyo.  This not-Pilgyo is scaring the hell out of him.  This not-Pilgyo is giving him a look -- a look at he has only seen in the corners of his eyes.  It's terrifyingly sincere and earnest.  Holy !  It was like Jung Pilgyo suddenly took his clothes off in front of him, which, of course, will never happen in a million, billion years. 

 

Pilgyo seems to be laying all his cards on the table and Eric is scared to play the game ... what if he is reading the cards wrong?  What if this is all just a Red Bull-induced hallucination?  It would massive .  So he backpedalled... furiously.

 

Too late!

 

He was trapped.  He was backed in the corner of the room with the not-Pilgyo crowding him.  Not-Pilgyo planted his hands on the wall behind his head, caging him.

 

"Mun Jung Hyuk," Hyesung's voice was low and silky, his breath ghosting over Eric's lips.  "Do you perhaps..."

 

Bees, not butterflies, seem to be wrecking havoc inside his stomach.  Even though Eric read the intent in Hyesung's eyes, his mind was chanting this can't be happening! 

 

But it was.

 

Hyesung pressed his whole body against Eric's.  And just like that, Eric felt like he was lit on fire. 

 

Hyesung's gaze dropped to Eric's lips and then he angled his head to lean close.

 

What happened next was not Eric's shining moment and it was probably the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him.  Just before their lips would touch, he fainted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Eric woke up, he was lying sideways on a couch with Hyesung behind him, arm across his chest holding him tightly.  Hyesung was snoring softly against the back of his neck.  Eric swallowed a lump that suddenly formed in his throat. 

 

It happened.  It really happened.

 

His lips grudgingly turned into a smile until it was an all-out grin, happiness spreading throughout his body.  Now that the scary first step was taken, all fears instantly disappeared like darkness being chased by a ray of sunshine that is Jung Pilgyo.  He trusts Pilgyo with his life, why not his heart, too?  He covered Hyesung's hand with his own before he let sleep take him away again.  He dreams of a future that's amazingly bright.

 

                                                     *     *     *

 

 

 

 

 

 

April 30, 2010

 

MJH,

 

Please come back.

 

JPG

 

 

 

That broke the record of the shortest letter between them.

 

He had a lot of things to prepare... his album... his concert.  He worked like a robot.  He even forgot to smile sometimes.  He couldn't stop his mind from worrying, from going crazy.  The silence was horrible.  The military stopped all communication.  He wondered if his letter would reach him.  He didn't really need to write it.  He had written his feelings into a song two years ago.  He didn't realize it would get this bad.  "Shattering separation"?  This is worse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                            *     *     *

 

Present Day -- August 8, 2010

 

He woke up with a start, his breathing ragged and his pulse erratic.  The bed dipped beside him and an arm s across his middle, pulling him against a warm body.

 

"Shh... I'm home.  I'm home," his lover assured him sleepily.

 

He sagged in relief.  It was kinda stupid.  He wasn't out there on the frontlines and yet he was the one with the nightmares about it.

 

He turned around to hug his slumbering partner.  He pressed his nose against the crew cut and inhaled.  It smelled of lemons and menthol.  He's back.  He really came back.  He tightened his embrace before closing his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Five days ago....

 

Their reunion wasn't what he expected it to be.

 

Eric got discharged a week later than scheduled all thanks to the lunatic who owned weapons of mass destruction and his blustering displays of power (nations intervened and China ended up putting a leash... a friendly leash on a snarling rabid dog).  Hyesung wasn't there when Eric exited the gates of the military camp.  No matter how much he wanted to be there, he had obligations... in Japan.

 

He didn't expect tears.  They were men.  Manly men.  Big boys don't cry and all that.

 

And they didn't.  Cry that is.

 

They saw each other again at LiveWorks' office.  Hyesung had to go there straight from the airport before going home because he had some important stuff to sign that couldn't wait.  He didn't know Eric had decided to meet him there.

 

It was one of the best surprises he's had... until Eric decided to be Eric.

 

Seeing Eric, who wore a grey beanie (in summer!... is he channelling ChoongJae?) and a wide moronic grin (okay, it was kinda y with his stubble and all), made Hyesung realize just how much he loved the stupid loach. 

 

Eric opened his arms and made a move to hug Hyesung.  Hyesung's feet eagerly met him half-way, until Eric shouted for all the world (the LiveWorks staff, in this case) to hear, "PRINCESS!  I'M BACK!"

 

Yes, Mun Jung Hyuk was back, ladies and gentlemen. 

 

And Jung Pilgyo was there to welcome him too.

 

"I'm not a princess!" Hyesung said in annoyance just before he punched Eric in the stomach hard, causing the older man to double over.  Then he engulfed the laughing man in his arms because he really did miss this .

 

 

                                      *** THE END ***

 

 

 

NOTE: Thank you for reading.  I hope I didn't make you go crazy with all the dates.

 

CREDITS!!!!

 

Destiny of Love English Translation credits --> midnightgirl13@shinhwabiz 

Taken from: http://imop.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/shinhwas-new-photos-destiny-of-love-translations/

 

Wedding March English Translation by Goro-chan -- from http://aheeyah.com/lyrics/shinhwa/shinhwa_3_tran.htm

 

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