It’s been a long time since I spent those two years as 2PM’s personal assistant (babysitter); I decided to accept my parents’ offer to work at Elite Industries at a company branch here in Seoul, South Korea. I only wanted to spend a little while there until I could decide what I really wanted to do. I just wanted to have enough time to figure out something, something that would work out for Nichkhun, myself and the rest of my boys.

In the time I spent away from 2PM a lot happened, not just with them and their lives, but with mine too. I fought with them about the time I couldn’t make for them; I fought about them not being considerate, about me not caring anymore, and about Nichkhun and me. It’s been a few years now since Nichkhun and I broke up.

I can still remember all the pressure that had always seemed to be surrounding our relationship, my parents, his job, my job, and the complete and total uncertainty of what would happen. I can remember him asking if we’d have a future together, asking if I could see us staying together. And to be honest, I wish I’d been right. I wish that we could have lasted even just a second longer. Because I miss him, I miss them; I miss how happy I’d been with them. I miss that time of my life more than anything else. I miss who I became when I was with them, who I was becoming, and how much I’d grown just being around them for two short years. Being around those six rowdy, charming, and sweet guys made me a better person, made me want to strive to be the best that I can, and I hate the I forgot all of that.

“Are you positive?” Mr. Lee asks looking at my letter of resignation, “You’ve been doing very well here these last three years, excelling at everything.” He says leaning back in his chair casually.

I smile at him and nod my head. “I’m absolutely positive.” I say idyllically, the first time I’ve felt it since I quit JYPE three years ago. “I’ve enjoyed learning and honing my skills, but I think it’s time for me to move on to something new.” I say with a new conviction.

“As you wish Ms. Kang,” He says nodding his head as if to finalize everything. “It was a pleasure to have you here.” I return the sentiment before walking out of his office, my head held high. I glance around at the walls in the office, it’s been three years, and I wasted a lot of time, it took me a long time to figure out what Nichkhun had meant. I was changing, I wasn’t doing any of the things I wanted to after I accept the job my parents offered me.

I’d packed up my things already, I left a message with my parents after I made my decision and now I’m off. My parents gave me full access to my trust fund again, though I have a suspicion I may find myself without it again, but that’s ok. I’m fine being on my own; I made it just fine without it before, I can do it again. Besides, the plan I had was never to stay with Elite Industries, I’d made a plan to save up so that I could do whatever I wanted later.

~~~

I head to lunch, I’m meeting Minho. As I walk into a little dinner that Minho as talked about without end, and demanded to eat at today I smile, the place gives off a really easy going and happy kind of vibe. I spot Minho texting in a booth on the other side of the room, I walk over and slide into the booth feeling rather chipper.

“You’re in a good mood; did the project for that building go well?” Minho asks as he sets the phone down, he grins at me. I nod my head and let out a relaxed sigh. “What? Are you on vacation too?”

“I resigned; I handed my notice in two weeks ago, and gave the chairman my letter of resignation about an hour ago.” I tell him smiling happily. Minho’s expression becomes slack in obvious surprise. “You know, this isn’t exactly a usual reaction, not from you at least.” I say smirking.

This seems to bring my friend to life. “Sorry, it’s just, well it seemed like you were going to stay with the company and everything, climb your way up.” Minho says delicately. “Especially after what happened…” He says leading off.

I feel the same pang in my chest, he means after Nichkhun and I broke up. “It wasn’t what I wanted in the beginning anyways, and I just figured I should leave on a high note.” I say smiling slightly; I’m still not really able to discuss Nichkhun or anything about the night that we had our last big fight, the one the he decided it’d be best for us just not to be together. “I’d forgotten and I hate that I forgot.” I say while shaking my head.

“So what are you going to do now?” Minho asks curiously, food is set down in front of us and I smirk while shaking my head, Minho as per usual ordered for me. “You’re welcome by the way.” He says after thanking the waiter.

I roll my eyes in reply to his snarky behavior, which is very much Minho. “I’ve gotten a job at a bookstore for now, I have enough saved up that I’m not really in any financial danger.” I say very much at ease with the whole situation. I’ve had a lot of this planned out for a while, since the beginning, I put a little more than have of my salary in a separate account so that when I was ready I could leave and I’d be set for a while.

“Woman, you’ve had this planned.” Minho says accusingly, pointing his finger at me in a very ‘adult-like’ way. “Jeez, here I was worrying if you were jumping off the deep end, and you’re all prepared. So what comes after that? I assume you’re not just quitting randomly.”

I nod my head. “I want to try and get my life back, the one I came here for, the one I made.” I say idealistically. “Minho, I made a lot of mistakes, I regret some of the choices I’ve made, but none more than the one that I made three years ago.” I say frowning.

“Miyoung says he hasn’t been dated anyone, not seriously at least.” Minho says casually, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt, but I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t deserve it. Nichkhun is attractive, besides he was bound to try right? Who would wait for an idiot to come to her senses forever?  “You’re quite the big girl aren’t you Lexi.”

“Shut it Min,” I say rolling my eyes as I begin eating whatever it is he’s ordered. “How’s Yoora?” I ask curiously deciding I’ve had enough of talking about me, at least in public. Whenever we do I feel paranoid about talking about the past, I can’t ever tell who is and who would hurt me for knowing about my old job or who I dated or for whom I’ve hurt.

Minho gets a goofy smile on his face, the same one he gets every time someone mentions Yoora, his girlfriend of now four years. “Yoora is good; we’re talking about getting a cat.” He says with a very happy sigh. “When do you start your new job?”

“Next week,” I say rather pleasantly. Minho rolls his hand for me to go on, I let out a sigh. “I saw them on a music show a few months ago.” I murmur realizing Minho isn’t going to let me off so easy. “It’s what prompted this.” I say forcing a happy smile. “I kept thinking I’d be okay, I just kept telling myself it’d get better, the pain would go away, you know?” I say frowning, unable to keep the fake smile on my face.

“So you have a week to do nothing,” Minho says very interested in this information. “They’re on a break right now, at least according to Miyoung.” He sends me another pointed look. “Speaking of her, she’s a bit hurt that you’ve pulled back from her.”

“I know, it just...it was easier to see people that weren’t in contact with any of them, at least not constantly.” I mumble feeling a bit ashamed for how I’ve treated not just Miyoung, but Soojin and Ian too. While I still talk to them, I just have a harder time seeing them while knowing they still talk to Nichkhun, Chansung, Junho, Wooyoung, Min-Jun and Taecyeon. “I want to change that too.”

Minho smiles at me sympathetically. “You’re allowed to make mistakes you know that, right?” Minho asks me seriously. “Lexi, you never give yourself any slack when you make a mistake, big or small.”

I nod my head; it’s been a bad habit of mine. “I know it’s just putting it into practice.” I mutter while running a hand through my hair. “It’s been a habit for a long time.”

For the rest of lunch we gravitate towards happier subjects, things that have happened. Like Miyoung dating someone new, someone not Namyoung. I’d known about them breaking up, but I wasn’t aware of her dating someone else. “So it serious?” I ask curiously.

“Apparently, she wants to introduce us to the guy,” Minho says showing me said text. “Come on, let’s go.” Minho says standing soon after. Making our way to the register, I grab the bill seeing as Minho is busy texting. “We have to kill some time.”

I nod my head, I have a week’s worth to kill anyways. I follow Minho around; he apparently is doing random shopping. “Remember back when I had to take you shopping to get kitchen appliances?” Minho asks chuckling. “I even had to teach you how to use some of them.” He says in a very gloating kind of way.

“My bad for hardly ever cooking, the boys didn’t use a lot of those things in their meals, so how would I have known?” I ask back smirking. Minho likes to tease me about my rather privileged upbringing. Like when I asked what a toaster was, and in my defense it was super fancy with all these buttons and different settings on it.

“It was sort of like some drama, privileged princess comes to live with us common folk.” Minho says jokingly. “But seriously, it was a toaster or the time with the rice cooker.”

I roll my eyes as I follow behind Minho on his shopping trip. “What are we doing exactly?” I ask as this goes on for hours. “We hardly bought anything.” I complain with a frown.

“Well I told Miyoung, Ian and Soojin I’d be meeting you for lunch,” Minho says leading me back towards an apartment complex, a rather nice one, it takes me a moment, but I realize it’s Soojin’s. “I was told to kidnap you and bring you to dinner.”

I frown at this, but follow anyways, I’m assuming I’ll be fed soon, and I’ll get to hopefully sit after Minho’s rather long and apparently fake shopping trip. Riding the elevator up to the sixteenth floor and walking down the hall Minho knocks. Miyoung opens the door and hugs me happily. “Unnie?” I ask surprised.

“God, it’s been so long!” She cheers dragging me in. “I swear you can just drop off the face of the earth whenever you feel like it.” Miyoung continues to complain, pulling me further into the apartment, my shoes and bag left in the entry hall with Minho.

“Hey, I’m the one who brought her!” Minho complains. “I’d like some recognition for the rather tedious task of tricking her into thinking I was shopping for my apartment all day.” He says following close behind us.

When Miyoung lets go of me I’m thoroughly surprised by who is standing there waiting, a rather amused look on his face. “Noona, you know it’s been three years since you last talked to me.” Chansung says pouting slightly, Soojin is smiling at us. “Any of us actually, they’d be mad knowing I snuck out to see you.” I’m too shocked to say anything as someone who I regarded as my best friend engulfs me in a hug, someone who I’ve treated terribly and just started acting like I never knew. “Thanks Minho.” Chansung hugs me and rubs the top of my head like we hadn’t seen each other for a couple of hours versus the harsh reality of three years.

“Chansung,” I mutter as my arms wrap around him, hugging him tightly. I couldn’t really say anything else as I took in the whole situation. “I’m sorry.” I mutter into his neck as he lifts me up, and then sets me back down.

“Noona, I understand you all too well, and you’re lucky. Soojin defended you so well to the others too.” I turn to said girl and hug her too. “I can’t believe you let Minho drag you around all day when you had work.” He says after a moment. I can understand his amazement, before I hadn’t even let Nichkhun distract me; I stayed on task and did whatever my parents wanted. Like I’d just reverted back to my old self, and for a while I suppose I really did.

“I quit today,” I tell him easily. The room falls silent, I glance to see Ian, Miyoung, Soojin, and Chansung all staring at me in shock. “It wasn’t what I wanted in the first place; I shouldn’t have lost sight of that.” I say regretfully. “I’m sorry for all that.” I repeat letting out a rather long sigh. I mean each word. I shouldn’t have lost sight of it; I shouldn’t have let Nichkhun walk away.

“So you just quit?” Ian asks me completely astounded, I nod my head and he shakes his head, a grin emerging on his face. “I was starting to think you would take over for your parents.” He says sounding rather relieved.

“Noona, I’m really happy you aren’t being stupid now!” Chansung says joyously. “I was starting to think we’d lost you.” He mutters ruffling my hair up.

I smile happily at the action. I turn to Soojin and pull her into a hug. “I should have listened, huh?” I mutter so only she can hear. Soojin had been the only one to really understand what exactly could happen when I started working for my parents again. Soojin had been the only one to tell me I should have turned the job down. “Sorry, I promise to be better about that.” I say pulling away and smiling gleefully at her.

Soojin hugs me tightly. “It’s okay, besides, now I can hold it over you.” She says, teasing me rather happily with that statement.

“Come on let’s eat!” Chansung says as Soojin and I pull apart. “Noona, guess what I made!” He says excitedly. I glance to the table and see one of his favorite dishes I made back when I was taking care of the big idiot.

I share the same smile, Chansung made the beef and broccoli dish we’d found on the internet together. “I haven’t had this in forever.” I mutter walking over excitedly, taking what had been my usual seat. Chansung sits next to me, Soojin on his other side. Ian sits across from me with Miyoung next to him and Minho across from Soojin.

Through dinner I observe Chansung, he hasn’t really changed much; his hair is a bit shorter from when I last saw him, and I feel like he’s even a little bit taller. He grins happily, the same goofy smile he’s always had. “Lexi, you keep staring at me.” Chansung says poking me, I’ve unknowingly spaced out.

“Sorry, I’m just having a hard time processing.” I admit; Ian chuckles and kicks me slightly. “If you start that, I promise you I’ll start drinking.”

“Hell no,” Minho and Ian say together. “You’re mean to us.” They say together unhappily. I smirk to prove my point. I spit at my water and share a pleased look with Miyoung.

I’m the last one aside from Chansung still talking with Soojin. I glance at the clock slightly taken back by the time. “I better get going, it’s getting late.” I say standing, Chansung mimicking me. I turn to him questioningly.

“He’s following you home, making sure he can find you later.” Soojin answers knowingly. “Unnie we’ll have to go shopping soon. Miyoung and I both have this Friday off, we should go!” She says while ignoring Chansung’s frown.

“Definitely, it’ll be great to replenish my closet.” I say chuckling. Walking pass Chansung I hug Soojin. “Just send me a text or call to let me know when and where.” I say as the three of us walk to the entry hall.

“I will, I’ll let Miyoung know that we have a shopping trip planned.” Soojin says excitedly. “Though, knowing her, there isn’t anything that’ll make her pass on it.” She jokes, though she probably isn’t too far off. Miyoung loves shopping, always has, which is why it’s so much fun to go with her.

“I’ll see you later,” Chansung says pecking Soojin’s lips. “Noona let’s go!” He cheers after I get my goodbye in.

“Alright, alright,” I say rolling my eyes at his exuberant nature. “I think you’ve gotten even more energy than when we first met.” I tease.

“I’m just excited to see you.” Chansung says following me, said idol falls into step next to me. “You sort of just abruptly left us, you know?”

“I do.” I mutter regretfully as Chansung and I get in a taxi, myself giving the address to my new apartment, well new to Chansung. I moved a couple of times since I last saw them. We don’t say anything for the duration of the ride. The silence isn’t really awkward; maybe painful is a better adjective.

Once I’ve unlocked my door and let Chansung in, he talks. Something I know he’s probably been holding in. “It was really weird,” He starts walking in. “You were right there Lexi, like we could still spend time with you and then suddenly it was like you became a totally different person. Nichkhun kept telling us to give you some time. But then when you guys broke up it was like you were totally gone.” Chansung rants turning to face me. I listen to him vent all the feelings I’ve inflicted on him. “You and me, we had been best friends and yet you just stopped talking to me, you disappeared and I had no idea why really, why you had changed again, why you weren’t being you. Why you’d just stop acting like you cared about us, like you stopped loving us.” Before I can say something Chansung sends me a glare. “Like you hated us, whatever you and Nichkhun were fighting about just pushed you over the edge and you were someone different suddenly. Even then, Hyung kept waiting, Nichkhun still is.”

“I’d never stop loving you guys,” I say after Chansung finished ranting, the hurt look he’s showing me only deepens the pain I’ve felt, the guilt I have. “I know I’m a pretty ty person for being able to just leave you all like I did. After all we did to make it so I could stay with the six of you, so I could stay with Nichkhun.” My heart lurches when I say his name. I keep my eyes glued to Chansung as I speak, I refuse to let him think I’m lying or I don’t mean anything I’m saying. “I can’t even explain why I changed like I had. Chansung, I can’t apologize enough or even give you answers about me just reverting back.”

“How about what made you realize what happened?” Chansung asks in quiet voice. “What changed?”

I glance towards my television. “I saw you guys on stage performing, for the first time in three years I realized I’d become a stranger to the six people I care about most. I realized that I wasn’t who I wanted to be, it just hurt seeing you guys on stage, being a stranger and knowing that it was my fault.” I answer honestly.

As I look back at Chansung I see him staring at my wall, following his line of sight I smile. “You kept them?”

By them he means the paintings that we’d made about four years ago now. “I’d never get rid of them.” I say firmly, I smile up at the four that Wooyoung, Chansung, Junho and I painted, then finally at the one that I received for my birthday.

“How are you parents going to react?” Chansung asks looking back at me, a faint smile on his lips. The smile grows when I shrug my shoulders uncaringly. “You really don’t care?”

“Why should I?” I ask him smirking. “I let them have their way for a long time already; I think it’s time for me to do what I want.”

Chansung grins at me; the smile reminds me of when we’d just gotten even with Taecyeon or Min-Jun. It felt like before.  “Noona, I’m going to help you, but you’re going to have to win the guys over.” 

Well I just got a little excited about writing and well, I just figured I should
post the first chapter. ^^
I've requested a poster and background and hopefully will have them soon.
I hope you guys enjoy this story~!
Let me know what you guys think!