After much debate, I walked out of the house without looking back and headed straight for the coffee shop. I reasoned with myself that I shouldn't have to hold back what I wanted to tell him because I couldn’t keep my emotions bottled up anymore. I was going to tell him that I liked him so I could get it over with. I was going to tell him that I didn’t care that he was madly in love with Seohyun because… my feelings for him was too strong for me to throw away.

As soon as I entered inside of the coffee shop, I found Kyung sitting at my usual spot with a cup in his hands. Immediately he noticed my presence and looked at me, which I avoided. I walked towards the table and sat across him, unable to look at him or say anything to him.

“You actually came,” he said after a moment or two of silent.
I nodded.
“I was worried that you wouldn’t,”
I shrugged.
“Why… are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not,” I answered with a slight tremble.
He moved his hand across the table and towards me, “You haven’t been in contact with me for weeks now,”
“It's only been 2 weeks," I corrected, "and anyways you’re busy now, aren’t you?”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t still come in contact with you,”
“Well, then, I'm busy,” I replied, “we’re in different classes so we do different things,”
“You’re not even looking at me,” he stated.
I slowly moved my gaze from the table up to the bottom of his face—his lips. “What do you want?”
“I want to know why you’re avoiding me,”
I scoffed, “You’re going to such a naïve question,”
“I don’t want to make an assumption,”
“Well, your assumption could be right,”
He cooed my name, “Do you…”

I exhaled, “What does it even matter how I feel or why I am avoiding you anyways?”
“Don’t say that,” his voice softened, “you should know that you’ve become a really great person in my life,”
“I could say the opposite,” I replied, “you’re the worst person I could ever have met,” the words spit from my mouth like venom, squeezing my heart while my eyes were welling in tears. He touched my hand, but I slipped my hand away from his.
“I’ve hurt you,”
“Hurt,” I repeated the word and let out a small laugh. “I don’t feel hurt at all,”
“I…”
“Is this all you had to say to me?” I asked, sliding out of the booth. “I actually have a lot to do tonight.”
“Wait,” Kyung grabbed my hand, “don’t go,”

Suddenly his phone rang and the name printed on the screen read Seohyun’s name. I jerked my hand away from his, “Looks like your girlfriend is calling you,” I said and made my way out of the coffee shop. With every step that I took, I felt my body getting heavy and my breathing go light.

. I came here to tell him that I liked him yet I didn’t have the courage to say it.

My name is called from behind—Kyung. His footsteps echoed throughout the night and suddenly my arm was grabbed and I was forced to stop walking. My body twisted around to face him. I tried to pull away from him, but he only tightened his grasp around my arm.

“What do you want?” I asked annoyingly, “Didn’t your girlfriend just call you!”
“I want to talk,”
“What’s there to even talk about?” I yelled, tears began to ascend down my eyes. “There’s nothing that we can talk about now!"
“You liked me didn’t you?” He pulled me close to him, “You liked me yet you said nothing about it. You kept pushing me away, making me think that maybe you weren’t harboring some kind of feelings for me.”
“You never even liked me,”
“Who said I didn’t?” He breathed, “From the moment I met you at the coffee shop, I found you interesting. I used Seohyun as an excuse to get closer to you, but from what I saw, you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“But you said you liked Seohyun,”
“I did…” he softly replied, “and, well, now I am crazy about her but it’s only because I had spent time with her.” He loosened his grip on my arm, “I don’t understand why you’re now acting like this—why you didn’t say anything earlier.”
“Even if I did, you would have taken it as a joke,” my arm slipped from his hand. “I don’t deal with love and I’ve never had. That’s the only reason I’ll give you. I thought that you would be the love I would have in life. But it just... it —” Unconsciously, I began to sob uncontrollably; my shoulders shook with every breath that I took in.
Kyung said my name and pulled me into his embrace, “I’m sorry,”
“I hate myself for loving you," my lips trembled as I tried to hold back from crying anymore. "I hate myself for thinking that you could love me back. How could I have thought that you would love me back?”
"I'm sorry," Kyung tightened his arms around me and repeated, "I'm sorry,"

After calming down from crying, Kyung led us to a nearby park to sit on the swings. I couldn't bring myself to look at Kyung after having cried in front of him because of my feelings.  Sniffing back, I let my legs hang freely, somewhat pushing myself on the swing.
"Are we still... on good terms?"
I shrugged.
"Can we still meet and greet each other at school?"
I shrugged.
"I really don't want to cut ties with you," Kyung whispered my name.
"I just need... my own space for a while," I answered, "seeing your face only makes me feel more aggravated,"
"Then, what if I wore a mask?" He suggested, sounding desperate.
I furrowed my brows, "Why are you so persistent on keeping our relationship?"
"Because I don't want to lose you," he answered, "I have Seohyun, but you... you bring a new light to me,"
"I just can't right now," I mumbled.
Kyung stayed quiet.
I stood up from the swing and turned my head to look at him — for the fist time. My heart pounded as he stared back at me in confusion. I swallowed back a ball of spit and proceeded to say to him, "I... love you,"
His eyes perked at my statement and his lips parted to say something, but I put a hand out to stop him.
"I needed to let my feelings out and I did," I said, "I'll... give you a text whenever I feel like talking to you again."
He furrowed his brows but he nodded in agreement, "I'll be waiting,"
"Bye," I turned back around and walked on without looking back because if I did, then it would be harder me to swallow in the amount of pride I had left.