Nine months. For the ones that are waiting or struggling with something they might be an extremely long period of time; but for others, and in particular Jung Hoseok and Kim Taehyung, those nine months felt like no longer than a day. Just like the span of a day, there was not enough time for anything, yet time wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t take a break, it would continue without halting even for a second.

During those months a lot of things happened. Two people found comfort, a shelter and a safe place in one other and those two people became one. Work, university, work, sleep – there sure were a lot of obstacles that meddled in their way, but Taehyung and Hoseok were even closer before that night in Hoseok’s apartment.  

The usual short coffee dates, little longer dinner dates, ice cream dates in between Taehyung’s next class and Hoseok’s lunch break – they all continued happening as always. But a vital difference was present – those two finally gave in and allowed themselves to interact with each other on a very different level. Hoseok was as careful as ever, asking for a permission to kiss Taehyung almost every time he did, as if the latter was doing it unwillingly, but that only led to Taehyung getting mad at the stiffness of Hoseok, so he would steal kisses even in the most public places they attended, just to ensure Hoseok that he did not mind, but rather enjoyed it. It took them a lot of effort to fully embrace each other, with a little bit more push from Taehyung, but it was okay since neither of them wanted to rush it and regret it later.

Although Hoseok really pretended to mind the fact that Taehyung suddenly felt the urge to come to his apartment at 12:02am, because he was lonely and needed to cuddle, even though both of them had work in the morning, after just few weeks he gave in and even waited for him to come before falling asleep. Little by little Taehyung’s efforts made Hoseok’s heart completely open to the younger and he started doing something he never allowed himself to before – initiating skinship without asking for permission, and Taehyung very much enjoyed that. He would ruffle his hair when Taehyung did his homework properly before crashing at Hoseok’s apartment, even hug him suddenly from behind and use excuses such as Taehyung’s back seemed way too comfortable and he was tired rather than just saying he wanted to be closer to the other.

Taehyung never once doubted his feelings for the older and he wasn’t dense, he could properly see that the other was hesitating a lot and didn’t express himself very much in the beginning, but he didn’t mind that, he believed in Hoseok and he knew it was just fair for him to work for a bit before fully deserving his love and attention.

But few months after they started going out, there was one day in particular that neither of them wanted to remember or talk about, but exactly that day made them as close as they were. A little bit before finishing work, Taehyung received a phone call from Hoseok, but as he picked up there was no one answering or saying something. He called his name few times and hung up, thinking Hoseok probably left his phone unlocked in his pocked.

But the uneasy feeling didn’t leave him, so he tried sending him a message, not wanting to get him in trouble if his boss saw Hoseok using his phone. But he received no answer. There was an hour left until he finished work so he couldn’t really check on him immediately if something happened. You would probably say that’s overreacting, but Hoseok was a very serious man and he wouldn’t leave his phone without any observation for so long, Taehyung really knew him well.

A few messages later he begged his boss to let him off earlier and he promised to go to work an hour earlier the next morning. He was a hardworking person, so his boss didn’t doubt him and let him leave. For some reason instead of calling Hoseok directly or go wait for him near his work place, he started running with all the power he possessed towards Hoseok’s apartment. He didn’t know why but his mind was telling him to do it so he did.

And he never felt more thankful for his own sixth sense, because after barging through the front door without even knocking or ringing the doorbell he found a crying Hoseok with his phone is his hand, as if he was waiting for Taehyung, but didn’t want to call him or bother him. Taehyung felt lost for few longs seconds, because he had never, ever seen him in such state where he wouldn’t try and hide his flowing tears or pretend to be strong in front of the younger like he always did. He had seen Hoseok mad, frustrated, broken and even teary before, but never to such extend.

Hoseok only looked at him, his tears never stopping, and that was enough for Taehyung to go to him and hug him tightly as if it he was a child. Hoseok cried and cried a lot that night, but probably for the first time ever he wasn’t alone, quite the opposite – he had the person who loved the most in this world to hold him and allow him to cry it out.

Taehyung didn’t pester him, nor asked him questions, he just stayed there, whispering comforting words, never taking his hands off with the exception of wiping his tears from time to time. He wanted to cry too, he wanted to scream and get angry at something, he felt it was unfair a person like Hoseok had to experience all this, but he was brave and didn’t do it. Hoseok quieted down and they both fell asleep tangled in each other's arms, not waking up once until the sun gently caressed their faces to stir them awake.

Taehyung woke up first and thought about making some strong coffee, but he saw that Hoseok was still holding strong to his waist, so he just brushed the still somewhat wet from last night’s tears bangs off his face and gently woke him up. Hoseok was confused and visibly with a headache, so Taehyung took the initiative again and held his hand while smiling a reassuring smile Hoseok needed badly to see. He still didn’t ask any questions, not wanting to bring back memories of whatever made him feel that way, rather he only said good morning.

After fully grasping the situation he was in, Hoseok sat up properly and started explaining everything, as if he owned it to Taehyung, even though the latter never asked anything, but he still listened without moving an inch or interrupting him. Hoseok’s mother that lived in Gwangju was in terrible health and since she lived alone it was hard for her to take care of herself and still go to work, but no matter what he did, Hoseok’s boss wouldn’t let him go home for few days and take care of his mom.

“It’s always like this.” Hoseok said bitterly, slightly cursing his workplace and his boss for the nth time since they met. They always treated him terrible, but he couldn’t allow to quit so he endured it. But he had the deepest relationship with his mom and it was enough for him that they could be together only two, at most three, times a year, but now he knew she wasn’t okay at all and he was useless. He even started apologizing again and again for calling Taehyung like this and not saying anything back, but he didn’t know what to do or anyone else he could rely on. Then every single thought of doubt that was in Taehyung about how did the other feel about him vanished and he was thankful to the heavens he could be there for him.

They stayed inside the apartment the whole day without separating, not thinking about the circumstances of missing out work. Hoseok needed it and it was dangerous for him to be left alone and Taehyung was willing to give up everything to make his best friend, the person he loved the most smile again, reassuring him that he wasn’t useless, life just .

At the end of the day Hoseok felt a lot safer and in peace with himself, for the first time he didn’t lash it out, blame or hurt himself, because of the gentle smile that never left Taehyungs face, because of his eyes that weren’t filled with pity or sympathy but with love and affection, because of the sweet words followed by dumb jokes that kept coming out of his mouth throughout the whole day; he thanked the heavens about Taehyung’s existence.

“They just clicked and fully completed each other and it was okay because in the end of the day there was the other there and that was enough for both of them to continue. When they first met Hoseok was quite low and unwilling to get up, but it was blatantly obvious that this changed right after Taehyungs appeared in his life. His eyes always lit up when they were together, when they would endure life and its attacks together but also cherish the little moments that made it all worth it together, those eyes completely transformed into something similar to an everlasting eye-smile. Jung Hoseok’s eyes never lied.”

--

“Have you thought about what do you want to do after you graduate?” Hoseok asked Taehyung kind of absentmindedly, without looking at the other.

“Collect music.” Taehyung said without thinking, but he had a cheeky grin on his lips.

“What?“ Hoseok asked, but when he saw the smug look on Taehyungs face he pinched his forehead. “I’m asking seriously! Do you ever not joke around, you kid? And then you get mad at me for calling you like this.”

“But hey, really, how should I know when I’m only starting my second year, a lot of things will change, a lot of things will be invented, maybe my future is still non-existent who knows? What’s the point of thinking about it now, when the future is so blurry and uncertain? Besides, collecting music is actually not a joke, even though it will probably be at a later stage in my life.” Taehyung calmly said, this time without the note of a joke in his voice, he was serious. He disliked planning and overthinking about things that are not about to happen for a while. The present was enough to keep his thoughts occupied and the future didn’t interest him much yet.

“Changes, huh..” Hoseok kind of sighed, took Taehyung’s hand in his, and started walking a bit faster. The lack of response and the unusual intimate act in public took Taehyung by a surprise, but he didn’t dwell on it and just squeezed Hoseok’s hand harder and started thinking about the dinner they were about to have.

--

The next three days were overwhelming for Taehyung. He thought something snapped in Hoseok, because he was acting a lot differently. He would come to pick him up from work, order Taehyung’s favorite takeaway food on their way home, instead of cooking it himself as he preferred, because he liked eating healthy, and he always took him to his apartment without even asking if he wanted to. He would propose doing things that was coincidentally Taehyung’s favorite – lots of ice cream, lots of meaningless TV shows until late at night, lots of cuddling later on, all on the courtesy of Hoseok.

It was as if Hoseok was craving about Taehyung more than ever before, as if they haven’t been together for nine months, but rather away from each other and now Hoseok was making up for this or something. Taehyung loved the affectionate Hoseok and he didn’t go back to his dorm those three days at all.

The end of the third night was probably the one Taehyung felt the most loved, ever. They were watching some show, but Hoseok suddenly turned off the TV and before Taehyung could whine childishly, he kissed him with force, letting his hands trail around his waist. Taehyung was soon slipping out soft, but audible enough noises, he felt like he was about to completely melt under Hoseok’s touch.

He pulled back a bit just to move to Taehyung’s neck, his soft spot on his shoulder then move back to his waiting lips. Taehyung was really confused with Hoseok’s behavior and he was scared to let himself act, because what if Hoseok pulls away as suddenly as he started?

But that lasted just until Hoseok removed his hoodie and worked his way with Taehyung’s. The latter decided to make use of the moment and assure Hoseok that he’s ready for this and he didn’t waste his time getting rid of all unnecessary clothing.

Hoseok never stopped whispering comforting words to Taehyungs ear whenever he wasn’t kissing him, repeating “I love you” almost desperately and Taehyung felt his heart beating dangerously fast. He turned things around and he was now on top of Hoseok, returning the gestures he received until now. The look on Hoseok’s face didn’t show anything about stopping and that encouraged Taehyung to continue.

They became one in every possible meaning and Taehyung felt he could never live without Hoseok by his side, he needed him the way he needed oxygen or the morning coffee if we shall, both having the same effect – they brought him life, and Hoseok was the reason he wanted to keep living. They were tired, but in a state of a bliss and they let themselves oversleep on the next, because they felt way to comfortable in each other’s hands to think about separating.

A/N This is part one of a double update that will be the last chapter, but since it's too long i decided to separate in two. The next part will be up right after this one, with a proper author note ;;