Taehyung should’ve known. He still clearly remembered Hoseok’s sudden change of expression when he told him how old he was, but he brushed off as just shock because he knew he looked older and this makes him at fault too. He should’ve pushed that matter further and try to talk it all with Hoseok so he doesn’t think so much of it.

-flashback-
That night when they first went out for dinner after that mishap somehow they managed to stay at the restaurant until closing time, it seemed like they had millions of topics they could talk about and neither of them wanted the night to be over. From bits of the conversation Taehyung came to understand that Hoseok has been working ever since he was 14 because of some huge debts that were passed onto him and his mom, so he didn’t have the brightest childhood either. The more Taehyung listened to him, the closer he felt to the other, feeling a connection on a level a lot deeper than he has felt with any other human he had met before, even his parents.

But Hoseok was lonely and way too busy with work to deal with all those feelings and it was as if only Taehyung knew that because of the expression Hoseok had on his face and reflected deeply on his eyes was way too familiar to Taehyung not to nice. Those rare nights Hoseok got to spend at some crappy clubs with his workmates never did the magic to relax and make him forget, and that encouraged Taehyung to be bold and to ask Hoseok for his number with a kind of confidence in his demand showing that he sure does intend to make use of that number and probably call him first thing next morning. At first Hoseok was kind of confused as to why was the other actually willing to meet him again, but the smile that appeared on his face showed that he didn’t mind. The more Taehyung thought about it that night, the more and more he got convinced that that there was a lot about Jung Hoseok that he was curious about and a lot more worth the struggle to be a little bit pushier.

The following week Hoseok was spending every second he wasn’t sleeping at work but Taehyung had enough with the few texts they exchanged because they weren’t meaningless, few words were enough to make him want to keep his phone glued to his face almost all the time in anticipation. They would also manage to sneak out a day of the week to go out and use it to the max, compensating for the rest of the week they couldn’t even hear each other’s voices or even have a proper conversation. At that time neither Taehyung nor Hoseok thought they had any kind of special feelings towards each other, but rather that they only strangely had the same obsession to find about the other as much as they could.

Around the end of the second month Taehyung was sure that he indeed had a more special attachment to his friend than he thought at first and the more he thought about it, the less the thought bothered him. What did bother him though was how conservative and overly careful Hoseok was with everything and how he would always treat Taehyung extra carefully, no matter how close they had become, only because he thinks Taehyung is still a kid. So it was obvious he needed to make the first, even second and third steps to approach Hoseok or else the latter would never do something as bold as confessing or allowing himself to get intimate with Taehyung.

But the younger also wasn’t the boldest person at that time so he really took his time to make things approachable, but not too overwhelming for the other, because the last thing he wanted to was to bother Hoseok even more. And he couldn’t help getting really happy at the rare times Hoseok would be the first to ask him out for coffee or just text him something that’s on his mind. This all meant that either Taehyungs ways and methods got through the other, or they were getting closer, so it was fine either way.
--

“Say Hobi, why do you never let me pay for our dinners? You’ve never given me a proper explanation. I work too so money is not really an excuse” ‘Hobi’ was something really special for both of them, as it was a nickname only Taehyung was allowed to use, even though at first Hoseok wasn’t too fond of it. But after few whines of the younger how ‘Hoseok-hyung’ didn’t sound cute at all, ‘Hobi’ was born and the owner needed just few pouts to agree to it.

“What are you saying, you’re just a kid, how can I let you pay?” Hoseok looked at him as if he asked about the most obvious answer ever, but Taehyung didn’t even want to hear, because he knew the answer, because it was Hoseok that had problem with money yet he would always insist on paying without complaining. Taehyung leaned back on the chair and looked away from Hoseok’s face.

“I’m nineteen, about to be twenty and last time I checked I’m already an adult.” He was honestly hurt because his friend refused to think of him as an adult or even an equal and it was quite disheartening for Taehyung because that meant his friends’ feelings were quite different from his own.

“Yeah? And I’m twenty five with white hair here and there so I think we should stop discussing this already, cause I don’t think a kid can win over me.” He meant this in a teasing way, just to irk Taehyung a little more or even make him crack a smile, but the look on the younger’s face read quite the opposite – he was hurt, eyebrows furrowed and he refused to look Hoseok in the eyes and the latter became truly confused.

“What’s wrong? I’m just kidding you know.” Hoseok said with worry in his voice, but received no answer. Taehyung stood up and his hands curled a bit.

“No matter what I do, I will always be ‘just a kid’ for you, won’t I? That’s kinda not fair.” Taehyung just bit his lip and started walking away, already regretting everything.

“Wait, Taehyung, what are you talking about? Where are you going?” but there was no Taehyung present in the café anymore and Hoseok really had to return to his work already, annoyed at how things turned out.


It was so painfully obvious ever since back then, so why, why didn’t Taehyung do everything he could to reassure Hoseok that he is absolutely sure about his feelings, and whatever happens later on, it still won’t change the fact that those were the best nine months of his life.

The second Taehyung left the café he wanted to go back and apologize, excuses already forming in his mind. He knew he was just getting impatient about seeing no progress with his friend and that made him snap at the latter, completely undeserved because Hoseok was just like this and Taehyung had no right to be mad about the way the other saw him. It was his fault that he couldn’t make him see Taehyung in a different light and he’s now probably mad his child like behavior, so the second he got home he wrote a long text apologizing hundreds of times, saying that he was just in a bad mood and didn’t mean anything he said back then. He didn’t receive a reply until the next morning, which only consisted of a time and a name of a restaurant, but that was enough.

For another month Taehyung worked his way through Hoseok’s heart, but it all happened naturally, because at that time things were overwhelming for the older of the two, as work was being way too much and his general situation not looking too good. But whenever Taehyung didn’t have class or work, he would always be there for Hoseok, he would listen and try to absorb all of his pain and offer the best of support he could, because Hoseok’s situation wasn’t completely unfamiliar, and he could try doing the things he did when he was younger to make the other relax and forget, even for a while.

As much as Taehyung loved and dedicated himself to music, he loved Hoseok a little bit more. He dug old CD’s, old and new singles and albums he had on his laptop, went through all of his 500GB worth of music he had collected over the years to make a playlist of the songs he treasured and had helped him the most, listed them by their genre, artist and duration, making sure that there was enough diversity and put it in a mp3 player as a gift for Hoseok, just because music always helped, a lot more than a mere human could do. Music didn’t disappoint, didn’t run away, didn’t make excuses, music was always there, a button away, ready to erase to thoughts of despair, worry and bull in general, to replace it with a healing melody and lyrics to go with that. Whenever he listened to music, ever since he was a lot younger, Taehyung immediately stopped thinking and overthinking and just allowed himself to immerse in the sweet sound. So he hoped that whenever he couldn’t be of help, Hoseok would reach out for the small mp3 player and find the comfort he needs for his damaged heart.

Even though it probably looked like Taehyung was using Hoseok’s situation to benefit himself and spend more time with him, it was far away from that because his feelings were sincere and he knew that the trust he received from Hoseok whenever he shared everything with Taehyung was earned, and he didn’t do anything but act as the friend Hoseok needed. So he couldn’t help get excited whenever Hoseok would bring him his favorite ice cream or offer to ditch the usual coffee ‘dates’ and just go around the town for a walk, because Hoseok chose him to spend his precious free time with and not waste it at run down clubs with his workmates like before. It wasn’t only one-sided and currently that mattered the most to him. There was a lot about Hoseok that Taehyung found too endearing to stop himself from loving him with every fiber of his body possible, to stop himself from thinking that he wanted even more of Jung Hoseok, to stop his selfish thoughts of wanting to see new expressions and emotions on the other’s face caused by him, ones that are shown only to Taehyung, to stop himself from looking at Hoseok’s lips whenever he could and thinking how he wanted to close every distance between them.

So one day he walked with Hoseok to his apartment, but instead of the usual goodbye-i-will-probably-text-you-the-second-I-get-home Kim Taehyung confessed.