CHAPTER 4: Closer (가까이)  

             Still sore from the accident, TaeYeon tried his hardest to come back to his home with the help of Key and Eunji. Even though the doctor suggested for him to stay for another day, he insisted to go back to his apartment since he loathed staying in hospitals. This is because he had been admitted to hospitals too many times for the past 15 years. Spending every second in a place like that makes him feel worse.

            “Ah, hooommme!” TaeYeon sighed as he opened the door with his arm still hanging on Key’s shoulders.

             “Woah, it’s so clean in here,” said Eunji, examining the place.

         “That’s because I cleaned before the night of my accident,” TaeYeon said, slowly crashing himself down on the couch trying not to make his body feel worse than it already is.

             “Oh, yeah, you just moved here right?” Key asked. “What made you come to this town?”

           “I just felt like it,” TaeYeon said, “I was once a composer of a music company in Seoul, but I lost my job.”

          “So you went here, out of all the places?” Eunji said, aimlessly checking TaeYeon’s empty kitchen cabinets.

             “I used to live here years ago,” TaeYeon replied, “or so my friends say….”

          “Oh, so you came back?” Key said, browsing through TaeYeon’s small wooden shelf. “For what? Family? A girl?” Key said, with a slight tease in his tone.

         “Oh…” TaeYeon suddenly spaced out. He didn’t exactly know why he went back to this particular town. SeoHyun only suggested this place. He just felt like going, that’s why. But as Key said, “a girl”, could that be why he’s here?

             “I don’t know, I’m not entirely sure yet why I’m here.”

             “Maybe fate brought you here to meet that special someone,” Eunji added teasingly.

             “Yeah, maybe that’s it,” TaeYeon believed. “I don’t think so,” he denied.

             “Eii, Mr. Kim. You’re like Eunji’s mom,” Key chuckled. “You look younger than your actual appearance yet too old to be single.”

             “Hey, I’m not that old,” TaeYeon sneered.

             “You’re 34, Mr. Kim. People by that age probably have at least one or two children already.”

            “Eii,” TaeYeon scoffed. “Love will come if it’s supposed to, but I’m just going to find jobs for now.”

             “Alright, then,” Eunji chuckled. “We can help you with that.”

           “Oh, what are these books?” Key said, examining each book on TaeYeon’s shelf. “The Rising Gods of the East, The Tales of the Council of Nine, The Tale of the Neon Lights; seriously what are these books?”

           “Oh, those are just… books I bought at some uh… second hand shop. They’re actually pretty good. You can borrow one if you want.”

          TaeYeon didn’t really get them from a shop. It was given to him by someone special, but because he has a very hazy memory, he can’t remember who it was exactly that gave it to him. He just knew those books were written especially for him and him only.

           “What, are those, some kind of Hunger Games or Harry Potter, or something?” Eunji asked, looking through Key’s shoulder.

          “Kind of, but they’re more of like fairytales,” TaeYeon stretched his hand and snatched one book from Key. “Don’t read this one though. I’m still reading it.”

           “The Tales of the Council of Nine?” Eunji’s head tilted, seeing the title of the book that TaeYeon snatched away. “What’s that about?”

             “Just mini stories of these nine godlike guardians of the world,” TaeYeon shrugged.

             “Can I borrow this one?” Key said, showing TaeYeon “The Tale of the Neon Lights” book.

             “Yeah sure”

             “Anyway, do you need anything like groceries? Your kitchen cabinets are empty,” Eunji said.

            “Hmm…” TaeYeon thought for a moment. “Yeah, I guess. But can I trust you kids won’t steal my money?”

            “Hey, if you don’t want to use your money, then we’ll use our own, right Key?” Eunji nudged Key.

             “Yeah,” Key said, not taking his eyes off of the pages of the book.

             “Alright… Here, buy me some things you think I need,” TaeYeon handed Eunji money.

             “Great,” Eunji smiled. “Let’s go Key.”

             “Right,” Key put the book down and followed Eunji.

             “Go and buy some ice cream too,” TaeYeon shouted as the two were about to leave.

             “Yeah~”

***

           Finally, after finishing her internet job for the day, Tiffany prepared to read another entry of her old pink-striped notebook. Even though it brought back painful memories, she didn’t mind it since she already cried her heart out the night she heard the Chopin song. Despite all the sadness that the diary had to offer, there were also happy memories and that was enough to make her feel like it was just a preschool memory. As she read each entry, step by step, it felt like she was finally letting go of her past.

August 1, 1996, Thursday
         Today is my birthday~ Ahhh! I’m officially seventeen years old! There’s nothing really special about that number, but today was the best birthday I’ve ever had.^^
All morning, Jessi was so distant from me and she didn’t even give me a present. I was so upset about that, but I didn’t know she was actually preparing something big… Since it’s Thursday again, my little school band are supposed to meet on the same studio for youth practice.
         I opened the door to the studio, and there my best friends shouted “SURPRISE!!!” The room was filled with pink ornaments and confetti. There was also a big banner saying “Happy Birthday Fany!” It was too sweet that I felt tears almost forming. They were the greatest friends ever. Soo, Yul, Jessi, and Seobaby hugged me instantly the moment I entered, but ‘daydream’ didn’t. He wasn’t even facing me at all. At first I was upset that he was like that, but as soon as he turned around, I was paralyzed. He was carrying a white puppy that was wearing a little party hat. It was SO cute!!! I named it Prince Fluffy X)
Everything was just too cute around me. These guys took the time and money to buy me a puppy? Mr. Daydream said this little cute fluff was to keep me company if I feel lonely. He also said that it was the whole group’s idea to buy me a dog, but I’m pretty sure it was his idea alone. I know you care for me, Mr. Daydream. Stop !

“Sekaijuu de koi seyo Girls! Ima Lingua Franca, Lingua Franc—”

             “Yoboseyo?” Tiffany picked up her phone.

             “Fany-ah!” It was Jessica.

             “Oh, Jessi,” Tiffany closed her pink-striped diary.

             “Do you have anything to do this Saturday?”

             “Why, what’s up?”

            “Are you still up for dates?”

            Tiffany went silent for a moment. She knew Jessica was planning some kind of blind date for her again. “Maybe,” she replied, enough for Jessica to hear it as “yes.”

             “You already know what I’m about to say, don’t you?”

             “Blind date again?”

             “Yeah, this time he’s probably the best.”

             “Ugh…” Tiffany snarled. “You won’t stop doing this, won’t you?”

             “This will be the last, I promise.”

             “You say that for all of my dates.”

             “But this time, I wasn’t the one who wanted to set you up!”

            “What?” Jessica was always the one to willingly set her up with guys, so hearing this now was somewhat strange for Tiffany.

             “The guy himself wanted a date with you,” Jessica lied. This did not make it easier to convince Tiffany.

             “If he wanted a date with me, he should’ve asked me in front of my face.”

             “I know, I know. But can’t you give him a chance?” Jessica persuaded.

             “Ugh fine,” Tiffany accepted her defeat. “What’s his name and where is the place?”

             “The usual. Xiah Dragon Noodles Restaurant, 7pm, this Saturday. His name is Choi Siwon.”

            “S-Siwon?!” Tiffany shouted through the phone out of shock, making Jessica pull her phone away from her ears. “You mean the church’s hot missionary?”

             “Yeah”

             “I can’t believe…” Tiffany trailed off.

           “That he’s single?” Jessica continued Tiffany’s sentence. “Yeah, me neither. I thought he was married with that handsome face but he actually wasn’t.”

             “Fine, I’ll give him a shot. But promise me that this will be the last, okay?”

             “Yeah, yeah, sure”

             “Bye, Sica.”

             “Bye, Fany-ah. God bless.” Jessica ended the call.

             “Aigoo…” Tiffany sighed. “If this one fails, I’m really going to give up hope on finding the right man.”

***

            “Aish, jinjja… This is so frustrating.”

           TaeYeon lay on the couch the whole time while waiting for the two teenagers to come back with the groceries. He can’t properly move his body, his guitar was probably somewhere out there broken, and his money could possibly be stolen. The longer he couldn’t do a thing, the more impatient he became. There was no Wi-Fi and no TV to entertain him at the moment. He had his phone, but he’s already seen all of its contents yesterday and there aren’t really much to see in there since it was somewhat a new phone. He has a laptop which sat somewhere in his bedroom, but since he is unable go anywhere without Key’s shoulder—he didn’t have that either.

         Having nothing else to do, he tried to search his mind for any information about Tiffany. Fortunately enough, he did remember something. He moved his body to the edge of the sofa and reached for a small, blue notebook at the bottom row of his small wooden shelf.

            “Yes, this is it.”

TaeYeon flipped through the first page.

I am writing this journal so that I won’t forget the things that will happen in my life from now on.

             “The irony…” he chuckled. “I never read any of these after I’ve written them. How stupid!”

He flipped the page.

Sunday, March 9, 1998

My name is Kim TaeYeon, born in March 9, 1979

I was in a car accident, December 14, 1997, and I cannot remember anything at all, not even my own name. A girl gave me this notebook as a birthday present to write anything I remember about myself and my past, but I’m not doing that. From now on, I will write about the beginning of my life and what happens as it goes on.

My birthday may have been March 9, 1979, but I say, my life starts at January 9, 1998.

It’s still clear to me. Everything was freezing. The heartbeat monitor’s noise annoyed me. Wires and needles crawled everywhere around me. When I opened my eyes, I could not name anything I saw. I wondered and wondered where I was and what was happening, but I couldn’t move or even speak. When I realized that I couldn’t do anything, I started to feel so uneasy,

But then, I turned my eyes to my right, and there beside me was a girl who had eyes that felt like home. She said my name, but at that time I didn’t know that it was mine, so I did not respond. Then she asked me something I somehow understood.

 

“Do you remember me?”

Her voice did sound very familiar and I did feel comfortable and relaxed seeing her. But no matter how hard I tried to think, I could not remember her. So I tried to honestly tell her, but my body was too sore and I couldn’t speak at all.

She held my hand tightly and told me her name was Tiffany and I just stared at her, not knowing what to say at all. I really could not remember.

But then she started crying and her tears fell on my arms. At every drop, my heart reacted strangely. I could hear the heartbeat monitor getting faster the more she cried. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t handle seeing her crying like that. I wanted to wipe her tears away, but I was too weak to even lift a muscle.

She asked me if I could hear her and I nodded it stiffly. She asked me if I couldn’t remember anything and I tried again to reply, but only air came out.

Suddenly, she told me she was my girlfriend. At that moment, my head spun and that’s when I realized I couldn’t even remember who I was. And I felt confused and gravely sorry for her.

           “That’s right, that’s her. That’s Tiffany.” He hit the notebook with his fingers. Finally, he was certain that she was a real person. She was his girlfriend and not just any person from a dream.

He flipped through a few pages, skipping a few parts.

Everyday Tiffany would visit me and one time, she brought along her friends, two boys and one blonde girl, who she says were also my friends.

They were named SooYoung, Yuri, and Jessica.

            “Ooooh!” TaeYeon started chuckling. It felt like he was watching a drama with all sorts of plot twists. “So they are here, too.”

I can tell that they were all shy and afraid to see me. maybe it’s because they knew I couldn’t remember them at all. They tried telling me stories of how we met and I tried to listen so that I wouldn’t offend them, but I honestly didn’t care. I appreciated their effort but I was dead sick of people expecting me to remember who they were. I know it’s hard for them that they’ve lost one friend, but don’t they know that this is even harder for me? If I had to hear one more time a story of who I used to be, I might just explode.

          Soon, Key and Eunji entered with a handful of plastic bags. They did as they said they would and didn’t waste a single won given by TaeYeon.

             “Did you buy ice cream?” TaeYeon asked.

           “Yeah, here,” Key took out three chocolate-flavored ice creams and handed the two to Eunji and TaeYeon.

             “Oh, crap, I’m gonna be late,” Eunji said, looking at her watch.

             “For what?” TaeYeon asked as he opened the ice cream wrapper.

            “We have band practice today for youth church.”

            “Oh cool.”

            “I’ll go now, Mr. Kim. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Eunji said, preparing to leave the apartment.

             “Yeah, see you,” TaeYeon cheerfully waved goodbye.

             “See you, Eunji,” Key also flashed a warm smile.

            As Eunji left, the blue notebook on TaeYeon’s hands was caught by Key’s eyes. “What’s that?” He asked.

           “Oh this? Just a notebook of songs that I’ve written,” TaeYeon lied. The least he wanted right now is for anyone to ask him questions about his past.

           “Oh, cool,” Key picked up the “Tale of the Neon Lights” book and prepared to go home, too. “I’ll be going now, too, Mr. Kim. Take care of yourself.”

            “Wait,” TaeYeon turned to Key. “Do you perhaps have a guitar I could borrow? I’m kind of in the middle of writing a song.” That part wasn’t a lie. After he woke up from his hospital bed yesterday, he created a song out of boredom.

             “Sure, you can borrow my guitar. I don’t use it much.”

             “Thanks, kid.”

             “I’ll be going now.”

           “Bye! See you on F