The house that Luhan had lived in for years had now been stripped of couches, tables, and photos on walls. The only thing left in Luhan’s room was his bed and his bedside table, those that he wouldn’t be taking with him back to China.

The boxes were laid out at the front door as men began filing in to lift them into a large truck. Luhan could only watch as each box disappeared from the house, using that as a means of counting how much time he had left with Sehun.

“Oh, aren’t you excited, son?” His mother chirped as she came out from the kitchen to offer the men can drinks. “You’re going home!”

Before Luhan could answer, she had hurried away, fretting over something little. He could only watch in sadness as the boxes that contained all of his things were taken, wishing that they could perhaps fit Sehun inside too. He went back inside his room, feeling uncomfortable with how bare his white walls were, and how the carpet beneath his feet felt rougher than usual – just like the first time he had stepped foot inside this house and complained about how uncomfortable carpet felt compared to the tiles that he was so used to back home. His room looked bigger than usual now that most of his things were gone, and his eyes fell onto a certain vase of flowers on his bedside table, slumping sadly when he realised that all of the flowers had crippled away to nothingness. Five months of hard work to make sure the flowers lived and in the end they died, because no matter what, Luhan couldn’t twist their fate.

He grabbed the remaining half-healthy flower and placed it gently inside the pocket of his cloak and threw himself on the bed, knowing that if he needed to go back in time, he needed to forget about the past five months that he had lived.

But why so far back? He had always thought to himself, regretting not asking the blond man. Why can’t he just twist it just before everything started going down?

Luhan the button that had sat itself onto the dip of his collarbone as the flower fell from his pocket and landed on his face gently. He sighed and picked it up, twisting it around. What would you do, flower? You were born from a seed, grown, cut down, and made to become someone else’s entertainment. All you’ve ever gone through is for the sake of someone else – you suffer, you separate from your friends and family, just to bring a smile on someone else’s face that’s not your own. Wouldn’t it have been better if you weren’t born at all?

That was when he realised.

He sat up, heart thumping almost painfully in his chest, the puzzles in his mind clicking together as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

The reason Tao chose to make Luhan go back to that fateful day was now as plain as day. Knowing the truth now, the deep sadness in Tao’s eyes as he spoke, didn’t make Luhan feel any better – in fact, he felt worse than usual, so bad that the pain his heart made him stagger when he tried to stand. No. Please don’t let that prediction be right.

He was distracted when his phone rang, and he dived for it. Ever since the day after his birthday, Luhan hadn’t seen Sehun at all, because Sehun had been too busy sorting everything out with his family and his future. It was painful at first, resorting to only text messages, but in time Luhan had gotten used to it. Still, every time his phone rang his heart would jump in hope, and so would he.

>>>Sehun: I have time now! @ ur place???????????????????????????????????? :)

(Sehun must be going high, Luhan thought to himself briefly.)

>>>Luhan: Er, not my place right now because family having some guests over ^^; R u ok with BT?

>>>Sehun:OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) sEE yOU tHEREEE

When Luhan arrived, Sehun was already there, a chocolate flavoured bubble tea in each of his hand. He looked so much better than the last time Luhan saw him. It was a relief to see Sehun’s face back to its normal shape, not too hollow like last time. He could also see that there were no more bags under his eyes, his skin a smooth delicate pale, and lips as sweet as the first time Luhan saw it. Seeing Sehun healthy again had made Luhan feel more reassured than he had ever felt in months.

“Sehun.” He called and the object of his desire, the person that he loved with all his heart, looked up, those beautiful eyes widening and something like joy sparked them to life.

“LULU!” He called, set down his bubble teas and ran up to Luhan.  They didn’t hug, nor did they shake hands – they didn’t touch at all, but the reunion was enough for the both of them. Luhan’s heart warmed at the happiness etched onto Sehun’s expression, and Sehun’s eyes turned into crescents the moment he saw Luhan.

It was a simple get together, and they hadn’t seen each other in only around three weeks, but they acted as if they hadn’t seen each other in years – because to them it felt like just that. As he watched Sehun talk about how boring it was the past few weeks because he hadn’t been busy but it was because his parents were afraid he’d come home looking like that again, Luhan couldn’t help but notice a glow around Sehun, and realised that now that he was less stressed, he was more happy.

“I’ve made a deal with my dad.” Sehun announced, grinning from ear to ear as he his lips before drinking his tea. “He promised not to marry me until I’m at least twenty-two.” Sehun spoke and he felt extremely proud as he spoke. “But obviously I’m not going to have that happen to me. No one’s going to tell me who I’m going to marry!” Luhan was startled when a hand reached down and grabbed his.

“By then, we’ll have him convinced.” Sehun reassured softly, and Luhan felt his gut twisting. Why? Luhan wanted to ask. I’ve ruined your life the moment I stepped into it, and you’re still trying to make me stay? Why won’t you realise I’m no good for you? Why do you have to give me hope?

“Still though. Father insists that I repeat the year again because I failed.” Sehun sighed, unaware that the words he spoke had struck Luhan like a thousand knives. “It’s going to be such a bother, but at least I can see something good happen out of it. He doesn’t complain about you anymore.”

Luhan felt sick to the stomach, knowing his condition for getting Sehun’s father to negotiate with Sehun, and was grateful when he realised that the older man had not said anything to his son about their deal.

“But I also need to do something for him to officially let me off the engagement. He told me to at least check out America and see if I like it or not. I’m really glad he’s finally decided to listen to me.” Sehun squeezed Luhan’s hand, and everything Sehun did made Luhan more reluctant to leave. He gulped and eventually squeezed back harder than ever, knowing that every second with Sehun counted. They had only about two weeks together left.

“And … uh, I’m going to have to go to America for a week and a half. I’m going in two days.” There was guilt in Sehun’s tone as he spoke, and Luhan could feel his heart quicken and then slow down in shock. His heart would’ve died then, knowing that now he had even less time with Sehun. “I’m sorry to spring this on you! It was sudden on me too!”

“It’s all right.” Luhan breathed, watching his remaining chances with Sehun fade away. He was torn between frustration, sadness, anger, and he hated how fate always seemed to find it amusing to play it even harder just when Luhan thought nothing could get any worse.

“But … um … Are you free tomorrow? I want to hang out with you before I go.” As Sehun spoke about the dates, Luhan realised that tomorrow would be their last day together. It was painful, and definitely too sudden.

“Sure.” Luhan recovered eventually, straightening and letting out a smile that for once didn’t reach his eyes. Sehun noticed, but said nothing; blaming it on the anger and loss Luhan must’ve felt when they hadn’t seen each other in three weeks.

Luhan inhaled then exhaled as he wore his beanie and straightened his jacket. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he could see the spark that was his trademark dull and almost gone. His eyes trailed down to the flower that was nowadays stuck to him wherever he went, and then finally to the black button that Tao had given him almost a month ago.

This was it. This would be the last day he would ever be with Sehun before he left Korea for good.

A childish part of him still hadn’t accepted it, constantly screaming in his mind, telling him that he didn’t have to go, didn’t have to leave Sehun. The selfish part of him wanted Sehun all to himself, and wanted to bring Sehun to wherever he went. His realistic side told him that he wasn’t ready, and that even if he were given as many days as he needed, Luhan would never be able to face the truth. His idealistic side hoped and insisted that if Luhan stayed they would work out, and his pessimistic side said that even if he were to stay in Korea, his parents would never accept his love for another man. Whatever the circumstances, whichever part of Luhan was stronger and dominated his mind, there was still no escaping the fact that his heart hurt, and had been hurting so badly nowadays. His heart constricted, tightened, loosened, and flattened – as if it was a toy to be played with. Luhan knew that, even though his heart was flexible and mature, it would break soon enough.

Luhan didn’t want to leave his room, because that would mean he accepted the fact that this was the last day he and Sehun shared together. He took one last look around, grabbed his phone so tightly that his knuckles turned bone-white, then left, not once turning back.

The first thing they did was go to the bubble tea shop. Of all the times they had been there, Luhan had never thought twice about it, but right then he reminisced the first time they came, how Sehun had been such a stiff brat and such a snob about everything at the start. In the end, though, something about this bratty kid had charmed Luhan.

When Sehun a drop of his bubble tea from his finger, Luhan remembered the time when Sehun had come out of the bathroom demanding to buy a handkerchief because he thought the public tissues were dirty. When Sehun his lips and laughed loudly, clapping his hands gleefully when he saw Luhan choke on his bubble tea, Luhan remembered how Sehun, although a rich brat, was also so shy that he laughed behind his hand, remembered how that was the main reason why Luhan found Sehun attractive. Remembered the way Sehun would sometimes look away when he spoke or suppress a bubbly laugh whenever there was a lot of public.

They went window shopping next, walking around town and admiring almost everything. Luhan saw the way Sehun’s eyes shone in delight whenever he saw something he wanted, took out his wallet and remembered that he had forgotten to bring a lot of money. Luhan remembered how the Sehun that he first met had carried loads of cash and had even insisted on buying Luhan new flowers after he had fretted over his squished ones. He remembered how when he first met Sehun, the spark wasn’t there at all, and thought that this new glow suited Sehun much more. He watched the way Sehun would jump in excitement and tap(/slap) him whenever he saw something that caught his eye, his face pulling into a wide, youthful smile, and remembered how the old Sehun would keep his composure and continue walking as though a camera was always set to watch him behave.

When Sehun looked through a designer shop, his tongue would flicker every once in a while whenever he saw something he disliked, and his face would just occasionally be pulled from a pout to a small smile. He remembered the way Sehun just liked to change expressions every now and then. When they walked along some of the shops for poorer people, Sehun walked while swinging his arms exaggeratedly, turning around to smile at Luhan every once in a while, and that made Luhan remember how Sehun would’ve walked as stiffly as a businessman, even amid an area where he knew nobody would know him.

Lastly they went to the park where they had met and hung out when Sehun had lived by himself. The park that was a replacement for the expensive bubble tea shop they always used to go to before Sehun rebelled against his dad. The place was familiar, almost deserted, but even so, Luhan could hardly recognise it. All these times of going to the park to meet up, Luhan had not once watched the way the trees had grown leaves and even flowers, because half the time he was busy thinking about Sehun and the other half busy being with him.

“Oh no.” Sehun spoke suddenly as he strayed off the path and onto the grass. Luhan turned around and saw what Sehun saw – there was a dead bird that lay amongst the grass.

“Sehun – “

“We have to bury it.” Without another word, Sehun began picking up the little thing.

“Wait, Sehun, you don’t know if – “

“No one’s going to give it a funeral, hyung.” With that, Sehun stubbornly got up, found a spot with soft dirt, gently placed the bird among the grass and began to dig with his hands. Luhan followed, speechless; he remembered how at the start Sehun would’ve seen the bird and jump away from it, an expression morphing into one torn between fear and disgust. He certainly would never have dirtied his hands to make sure a bird would be able to rest in peace.

Despite the fact that his heart wasn’t in it, Luhan helped dig, and eventually they had set up a mini graveyard for the bird. They stood there for a while, hands together and praying for a bit before going off to find a place where they could wash their hands.

As they walked, Luhan realised that the Sehun back then had even offered to buy Luhan another bunch of flowers when he had accidentally squished them, and watched the Sehun now. Sehun had changed so much in the period Luhan had met him; he’d matured from a mere teenager to a grown man, become more carefree and more lovable. Most of all, Sehun had become happier.

Luhan didn’t know why that was so. He felt like an outsider as he watched the changes that constantly morphed Sehun, and although he knew Sehun had changed, he didn’t know what the reason was. He decided eventually that it was the hardships Sehun had gone through that made him into who he was today.

Luhan was aware of everything Sehun, but there was one thing he had overlooked.

As he washed his hands by the sink of a public toilet, Luhan wasn’t aware of that Sehun was watching him, watching him with eyes that only acknowledged him, eyes that shone, glittered and sparked only for Luhan. Nor did he notice the way that Sehun glowed whenever he was near him, the way his lips would be pulled into a wide, goofy grin whenever he thought of Luhan. Luhan wasn’t aware of the way Sehun had observed him and changed around him. Luhan wasn’t aware of the way Sehun would smile, and only smile because Luhan was merely by his side.

They walked back, steps deliberately slow, air around them silent but comfortable. The day was nearly over – their time together was nearly over. Luhan felt like he was in a dream, a nightmare, because he couldn’t register all this; wouldn’t register that this would be the last memories they would make together.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sehun stepped in front of Luhan, fingers lightly placed on the back of Luhan’s neck as Sehun pulled him closer, head leaning down until his lips were next to Luhan’s ear.

“I’ll miss you.” His voice was husky so that Luhan was distracted and unaware when Sehun slipped something in his pocket. As soon as it happened, Sehun moved back to his place next to Luhan. Before Luhan could ask what that was about, Sehun’s ringtone interrupted him. He took it out and read the message.

“Father says he’s sent someone to pick me up, just around the corner.” Luhan’s heart constricted as he realised that their time had been cut short yet again. They walk slowly, and suddenly Luhan felt something warm grasp his hand. Alarmed, he looked up.

“Sehun, we’re in pub – “

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Your repu – “

“Don’t worry about it.” Luhan said no more because he needed this, enjoyed their skin contact. He bit his lip to keep his tears back and instead held on tightly.

“Lu.” Just as they were around the corner, Sehun turned and stopped, facing Luhan. “I just want to say that we’ll work out. It’ll be slow but we’re going to be all right.”

“We just need time. Will … will you wait for me?” Luhan wanted to answer ‘yes’ more than anything, wanted to scream ‘I’ll wait forever if I have to’  but he knew there was no point waiting on false hope. There were so many things that came between them, and what Luhan had done to Sehun the past five months were something that had caused Sehun to suffer, and the time they had been together, the time Luhan had made Sehun waste was something that Sehun could never take back. The biggest problem was Luhan himself.

“Yes.” He lied, his insides screaming, screaming for him to stop. The warm smile that spread across Sehun’s face didn’t help.

“We’ll be okay. I promise we’ll be able to convince my parents.” I’m that serious about you. The unspoken words were as clear as if Sehun had shouted them. Luhan wanted to disagree, but the joy that seemed to add fuel to the spark in Sehun’s eyes was what made Luhan stop. He couldn’t bring himself to lie to Sehun’s face, but he couldn’t bear telling the truth and taking the one last happiness Sehun had before he left. So he replied with silence. Luhan had planned on telling Sehun before he left to China last minute, but watching him now, it was harder than anything, more painful than anything. Right then, Luhan decided to leave Sehun silently, just so he would be a shadow in Sehun’s upcoming years; hopefully a forgotten one.

They walked a few more steps and Luhan could see the slick, white car waiting for Sehun. The thought of losing Sehun so quickly gripped Luhan like cold ice, and just as Sehun turned away to head for the car, Luhan grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. His arms were wrapped around Sehun’s waist and he held tightly, knowing that if he let go he would never be able to feel Sehun again; knew this was the last time he would ever take in Sehun’s scent, feel the way Sehun’s body fitted around his – it was a little awkward whenever they hugged (that’s why they seldom did it), but to Luhan it was also more perfect than he had ever felt holding someone else.

As he buried his face in Sehun’s jacket and took in Sehun’s vague perfume, he remembered the way their hands would accidentally bump into each other whenever they walked, remembered the way they had joked for no reason and just wanted to find an excuse to talk to each other; remembered the way they could talk for hours on end and yet had never so much as kissed each other, and Luhan remembered the way his feelings developed from attraction to adoration and eventually love.

Luhan could hear the chuckle rumble in Sehun’s chest as he felt arms wound back around him to hug him back just as tightly. Luhan looked up, vision blurring when he saw Sehun’s features light up in a cheeky smile.

“I’ll only be gone for a week, you know.” Sehun teased as he leaned down and kissed the tears that rolled down Luhan’s cheeks – every single one. Luhan closed his eyes and for once let them fall, knowing that Sehun would pick every one of them up until Luhan had cried dry. When the tears stopped coming, Luhan felt soft lips on his, and could feel the saltiness as he pushed his lips back to Sehun’s. It was the second kiss they ever shared, and once again one of them was crying and the other reassuring. It was over before they both knew it. Luhan eventually loosened his hold, sniffing slightly, but his grip on Sehun’s hand didn’t falter.

“I have to go now. I haven’t packed.” Sehun prepared to go, but the grip on his hand tightened and he turned back around. Saw the unbearable sadness in Luhan’s red-rimmed eyes and his flushed, tear-stained cheeks. Sehun smiled, taking this as Luhan missing him already, unaware of what he was going to let go, oblivious to Luhan’s intention, and pulled Luhan to him and kissed him lightly on the forehead. “I’ll bring something back for you.”

At that, Luhan let go, feeling his life crumble around him as he did so. Watched Sehun wave to him as he walked backwards towards the car. Remembered the kiss on his forehead that left a burning mark. Rewound around the time when Sehun had hugged him, squeezing him until he could barely breathe. Felt Sehun’s nimble fingers close around his hand. As he watched Sehun get in the car, Luhan knew he had gotten more than he deserved, and even though it was not enough for him, the memories he clung on to meant more to him than anything.

His memories were the only thing he had left.

When the car was long gone, Luhan turned around and ran for it, ran for his life because right now nothing, not even his fatigued lungs and his aching legs, could compare to the pain throbbing in his heart. The pain of losing. He gripped the object around his neck, ripped it out, unaware of the searing pain the action did to his neck, and gripped it tightly.

“TAO. TAO. TAO. TAO. TAO.” He yelled, screamed those words as he ran, ignoring the way bystanders watched him with strange expressions; ignored the way his voice cracked as he yet again fought down the tears that threatened to surface.

I’ll be there at half past seven.

That was around two hours away, but Luhan didn’t care. He ran as if he was late for something extremely crucial, sprinted and felt the painful stitches, and didn’t care even when he had exhausted his body. He ran kilometres just to get to that place even though he would’ve made it in time even if he walked.

When he got there, absolutely exhausted, he stumbled to the fountain like a drunkard, which made strangers get up and move away. He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything at the moment. His heart was racing inhumanely fast, overworked from all the running he did, but also thumped painfully at what he had just lost.

As he waited, caught his breath, Luhan saw the crowd around the square begin to dissipate until there was no one left but him. He looked up at the clock, and wondered why Tao wasn’t here yet. It was nearly eight! Just as the second hand struck twelve along with the minute hand, Tao appeared out of nowhere, quite dishevelled.

“S-Sorry.” He mumbled. “Slept in.” Luhan gaped at this so called holy man who had mysterious powers because Luhan would never have expected someone so powerful to be this … this clumsy.

“By the way, do I look okay?” Tao asked as he smoothed out his hair. If Luhan weren’t so tired, he would’ve taken off his shoe to toss at the time-twister. Then everything fell silent once Tao was back into business.

“Are you ready?” He asked softly, the sadness once again in his gaze. Luhan pulled himself off the fountain and stumbled towards Tao.

“Yes.” He gasped, clutching his shirt almost desperately as he did so. Nothing prepared Luhan for the pain he felt this moment, the pain of leaving his memories behind. The pain of leaving Sehun.

“Stand under the clock.” Luhan did so, his body so tired that he had to lean against it. Tao watched and he raised his hand against the moonlight, the ring on his finger glinting. Before Tao could sweep him back into time, though, he felt his phone vibrate, taking it out to read it, choking when he realised it was Sehun.

>>>Sehun: Check ur pocket ^//^

Before Luhan could do anything else, he felt his body growing lighter and the world before him twist and turn into a distorted shape. Or maybe it was him that was spinning. His body was definitely ready, but his heart still wanted to linger in this time period; still wanted to stay with Sehun. Luhan let that part of his heart go as he closed his eyes to this world, a place where he had finally found his happiness but had to lose it again.

Thank you once again for all the commenters and subscribers and all who liked this story ^^

Next chapter is the finale, and because it's short, I decided to write an alternative, so I hope you guys can give me a lot of feedback on this story so I can improve next time ^^

Thank you those who called me a genius for the last chapter but I was only joking X//D

I'll probably upload the ending tomorrow, since it's pretty short. And then the alternative ending the day after that? XD