A week passed, a time where Luhan was torn between wanting to spend the rest of his time in Korea with Sehun and avoiding him because of his studies.  He left Sehun’s phone on the bedside table, switching it off so a text message didn’t come every few hours.

Nevertheless, Luhan visited Sehun despite his desire of wanting Sehun to lead a happy future, because Sehun had asked him to. Luhan realised that Sehun had become more persuasive recently; finding himself agreeing to everything Sehun had asked him to.

It was one day when Luhan was utterly bored and slightly curious that he found Sehun’s phone lying innocently on his desk. Before he knew it, he had picked it up and switched it on, and he was bombarded with missed calls and text messages that flooded the screen. As Luhan looked at the clock, he nodded to himself when he estimated that he had around 2 hours before he was supposed to meet Sehun at his new apartment. He clicked on the first message.

When he finished every last text, he knew that he needed to talk to Sehun.

Luhan stood a good ten minutes outside, had knocked a good seven times, and had paced around a good five times before Sehun opened the door. He was wearing a plain black tank top and jeans, his hair untamed and his eyes half-closed.

“Yes?” Sehun’s droopy eyes widened when he found out who it was, and leaned back to look at something on his wall. He cursed silently and opened the door wider, letting Luhan in. Luhan stared at the way Sehun’s muscles flexed as he moved his arm that rested on the door.

“Sorry, I didn’t think time would pass that quickly,” Sehun mumbled. Luhan nodded in response, in no time to forgive because he needed to discuss something. Still, he was a little concerned for Sehun.

“Why did you take so long to answer the door? Did something happen?” Luhan asked, concern winding itself around the tone of his voice as he took a good look around Sehun’s apartment. This was the first time that he had gone inside, and if he weren’t so serious he would’ve been awed at how big it was, even for an apartment.

“I feel asleep without knowing,” Sehun admitted, and as Luhan peered at the way he paced around the room, he noticed that Sehun was jumpier lately but at the same time looked more tired.

“Are you okay?” Luhan stared up, worried. Sehun nodded, almost distracted, as he began cleaning up the clothes he had thrown on the floor.

“Sorry, just no time to clean lately …” He mumbled, and let out a huge yawn, his lips and began picking up his clothes. Luhan nodded uncertainly, also distracted as he thought about the messages on Sehun’s phone while at the same time the object in his pocket.

“Sehun, we need to talk.” Luhan spoke, his voice quiet but firm and serious, something which Sehun did not notice.

“Okay, just stay where you are, I’ll make you something … Argh, sorry I’m being so disorganised …” There was a strain in Sehun’s voice as he rushed towards the table then changed his mind and headed for the kitchen; he sounded so stressed.

Might as well wait, Luhan thought to himself as he fidgeted. He really hated waiting, because he was usually so restless, especially when he had something on his mind. Letting out a small huff, he grabbed a small cushion on the couch and hugged it to himself, and realised that there were papers hastily scrunched up where the pillow had been hiding it. Curious, Luhan reached over and wrapped his fingers along the creased papers before bringing it in front of him. His eyes narrowed when he realised what it was.

“Hyung. Sorry I couldn’t get you anything better than normal tea – “

“Sehun.” The unusual quiet but threatening tone of Luhan’s voice stopped Sehun from talking. He gently set down the tea while staring at Luhan, wide eyed. Noticed Luhan’s bangs covering the expression and the sparkle in Luhan’s eyes, watched those thin lips pulled into a frown, and finally those hands gripping papers tightly. Sehun’s eyes widened even more when he realised what it was.

“What … is this?” Luhan’s voice rose into a volume louder than his normal one as he threw the papers on the desk. Sehun flinched, like a dear caught in the headlights. The papers spread, and all of them had an evident mark on them. Large, red, F’s covered most of the papers, making it prominent as it shone over smaller, black typed writing and mostly blank answers. The best that Sehun got was – hovering so close – merely half a point from failing. Sehun gulped, and Luhan, even when he was lost in his sea of anger, couldn’t help but watch his Adam’s apple bob.

“I was – “

“Just what are you doing, Sehun?” Luhan was close to shouting now, something he had never done in the presence of Sehun before; something he hardly ever did in general. “Do you want to fail? Do you really want to throw away your future like that?”

This was worse than Luhan had thought. All of the faintest hopes of Luhan believing they would be together and that he was benefiting Sehun instead of burdening him were shattered the moment he saw those papers.

“What about school, Sehun?” Luhan asked, his voice quiet again as the guilt began to rise inside him. It was those text messages they shared that began the end of Sehun’s studying; turned out to be the start of Sehun’s disastrous future. Sehun visibly flinched and turned away.

“It’s all ri –“

“Don’t lie to me.” Sehun’s head spun back as he stared at Luhan with wide eyes, expression morphing into one of horror when he saw his old phone in Luhan’s hands – but that wasn’t what scared Sehun. What terrified Sehun, more than anything, was the sadness and disappointment shining in Luhan’s eyes, his lip curled in disapproval as he stared at Sehun, expression confronting and almost threatening.

 “You haven’t been to school at all.” It was a statement, not a question. At that, Sehun replied with silence, mind blank and expression guilty as he glanced around nervously. His eyes flitted to the screen of the phone, and a word caught his eye – it was one of his friends who had sent a text message, and no doubt asking him where he had been instead of being at school. So that was how Luhan found out, Sehun thought to himself, his tongue poking out of his lips ever so slightly as he subconsciously wet them.

“What’s more important than school, Sehun?” The concern was back in Luhan’s voice as he looked at his dongsaeng. It sounded like a rhetorical question, those sharp words digging deeper into his wound, filling it with guilt, but when Luhan watched him with a tired patience in his eyes, Sehun knew it was his turn to speak.

“Work,” He replied quietly, afraid that if he did something wrong, Luhan would burst. Instead, it seemed as if Luhan had deflated instead. He dropped down on the couch, staring, but this time staring at everything but Sehun. Luhan stayed silent, and at times he would open his mouth as if to say something but then close it again, as if he didn’t know what to say. There was no reaction other than the speechless act Luhan played, and Sehun was suddenly afraid.

“I – I’m taking multiple jobs at once,” he blurted out before Luhan could disregard him and leave. “to pay for my rent.”

“You’re going bankrupt?” Luhan looked up and stared at Sehun, saw the worry, the shock; the guilt. Wordlessly Sehun nodded, his lips nervously.

“It’s not your fault, hyung.” Sehun protested, because that much was true. “I just don’t want to see father, that’s all.”

“You weren’t like this before you met me, were you?” Luhan’s voice had risen in volume again, and he sounded as if he was on the brink of losing control. Sehun his lips before opening his mouth to reply, but didn’t get a chance to.

“The way you changed, the way you now approach life differently, it’s all because of me, isn’t it?” Luhan snapped, watching Sehun with hatred and exasperation, an expression that immediately made Sehun bite back words until he had none left. Although Sehun knew this wasn’t directed at him, it still sent a chill down his spine, and he shuddered to think what had actually made Luhan this angry aside from his lack of studying.

“The reason you left your father, the reason you’re getting bad scores … it wouldn’t have happened before you met me, right?” Luhan had swelled up like a balloon earlier, but he was deflating again. Sehun wanted to protest but he knew it wouldn’t work on Luhan because right now Luhan took no bull. And Sehun was beginning to admit that it really was Luhan who was making him independent but at the same time distrait. But that didn’t mean that it was Luhan’s fault; it just meant that Sehun didn’t have enough self-control, and Sehun knew that really, really well. Just as he was about to voice it out though, Luhan spoke again.

“It’s all because of me, isn’t it?” The older man’s voice was brought down to a mere whisper, staring at his lap intensely, and Sehun realised then that the hate Luhan had contained and revealed just then wasn’t directed at anyone but himself. His fists were clenched so tightly they were shaking.

“You idiot,” Sehun spoke softly, his mind hazy, his eyes sore. Why was Luhan always being so hard on himself? Why couldn’t he just understand what Sehun really wanted? Sehun was almost 18 now, and he knew himself well enough to know what he wanted. He wished he could explain how, even without Luhan, Sehun had always wanted to be free – Luhan only made him realise it earlier.

“Let’s … not do this anymore, Sehun.” Luhan’s voice, Luhan’s expression – and just Luhan – snapped Sehun back into reality. He looked older with the small frown, and his eyes looked tired. They were both so tired. Tired of dreams and hopes, tired of their ever-rising problems; tired of reality.

But not tired of each other. Never.

“Not that again,” Sehun sighed, but Luhan ignored it.

“It’s not going to work if we keep seeing each other.” Sehun’s eyes widened when he realised what Luhan meant.

“No, Lu, please don’t – “ But Luhan had already gotten up.

“I … think we need to be apart for a while.” He breathed, eyes a little hazy but retaining that spark, and he headed towards the door.

“Luhan, we haven’t talked this through yet. Don’t g – “

“It’s only for a while, Sehunnie. I just need a little time to think.” Luhan turned around and gave him a smile – one that made Sehun’s heart wrench in pain or lovesickness, he didn’t know which. “Give me one week.”

With that, he was out the door, leaving Sehun shocked, alone and with a strong feeling of abandonment.

Three days.

Only three days had passed since that incident, and already Luhan was staring at the ceiling, wondering what Sehun was doing and whether or not he was all right. He shook out of it eventually every time though, because he knew this was for Sehun’s good. Maybe this week would give him time to renew himself and rethink on whether or not he really wanted to live alone and defy his parents because of Luhan. Despite the aching need to run over to Sehun’s house and embrace him, Luhan stubbornly stayed rooted to his room, sometimes even when he had a class because he was afraid that if he stepped out he would drive immediately to wherever Sehun was.

Letting out a small sigh, Luhan turned over until he saw the flowers in the vase. Luhan had tried the best he could, but half of them had died. Half of the remaining half seemed healthy and alive, but the other half was beginning to wilt away, Luhan could tell.

It was much worse this time than last time. The first time he had avoided Sehun he had at least received texts from the younger man; there were also less problems to deal with and less worries to ponder over. What changed most, though, were Luhan’s feelings. Luhan definitely felt more attached now, and it wasn’t the need to talk to Sehun every single minute (because he wasn’t that obsessive) that drove him crazy but the need to check on him; the need to hear him talk about what he did during the day was gnawing at his gut.

 After figuring out his feelings, Luhan had been more aware, watching out for every sign that he might be in love, hoping inwardly that maybe he wasn’t after all – which would make it easier on the both of them – but once again he was unfortunately wronged. Whenever he ate, he hoped Sehun was eating; whenever he showered, he hoped Sehun remembered to shower too; whenever he woke up, he wondered whether or not Sehun had slept enough; whenever he went to sleep, he wondered if Sehun was getting ready too. Whenever he had free time, he went from hoping Sehun wasn’t too lonely to wondering if he should lend Sehun some of his money just in case he didn’t have enough.

Then, realising after the end of each subconscious thought, Luhan had to admit he really was attached to the boy that he thought about twenty four-seven. What was harder than admitting that, though, was that Luhan wanted so badly to be with Sehun, to just stay beside Sehun, that he would even stay in Korea alone if he had to. The idea itself brought a hope to Luhan as he sat up and prepared to go talk about it with his parents.

“Son!” To Luhan’s luck, he didn’t need to move at all as his mother opened the door with a large smile on her face.

“I didn’t get to tell you last time, Xiao Lu, but your father had already assigned you to a university. You said you’ve always wanted a spot in Normal University, dear, so we’ve already got everything done for you, as apology for making you stay so far from home all these years.” There was a glow on his mother’s face, and Luhan could tell immediately that both his parents were trying to make up to him for dragging him to Korea for five years.

Watching her smile like that and chatting about how the reason they had taken such long trips back to China was because to settle this and make Luhan feel at home immediately caused him to close his mouth again. He couldn’t bear disappointing her.

He wouldn’t be able to cope with watching his mother’s crestfallen face after telling her of his decision to stay.

On day six, Luhan couldn’t take it anymore.

His phone had been awfully quiet and empty, but his mind always full of Sehun. He missed Sehun so terribly, and six days without so much as a text message from him was enough to drive Luhan crazy. He had felt like the walking dead since day one without Sehun, counting down his days, and instead of pondering their situation, he yearned, desired and missed Sehun. 

Running like he never had before (because he was such a keen idiot on seeing Sehun after class that he forgot all about his car), Luhan could feel his ragged breaths, his aching legs, and his over-worked heart; but his spirit – his strong desire – kept him going. It was after he arrived at Sehun’s doorstep – up all those steps – did he stop and catch his breath. Bending down, hand on knee; he used the other to knock almost ferociously on the whitely painted door.

The answer took so long that Luhan had already caught his breath. Sehun might be working, Luhan thought later, mentally punching himself and wondering why he hadn’t thought through this instead of recklessly running over here like a desperate, lovesick maniac.

But that was what he was right then, wasn’t it?

Just as he was about to sit down, he heard something click from the other side of the door and, as if energy renewed, was up in a second. The sight that met his eyes when the door was opened almost horrified Luhan, but he put it to the back of his mind because right now seeing that face meant more to him than anything.

Without a word, without waiting for a reaction, Luhan ran up to the younger man and threw himself on him. They tumbled to the soft ground, and in the back of his mind, Luhan wondered why they did so – after all Sehun had always been stubbornly sturdy – but he didn’t pay attention to it. Instead, joy filled his heart as he let himself lie on top of Sehun, and although being so close to Sehun made his heart race, it calmed the worries that had bothered him for the past six days.

“I’m sorry, Sehunnie…” He mumbled as he buried his face in Sehun’s broad shoulder, taking in Sehun’s scent and the way Sehun’s body felt so firm. Long fingers found themselves in Luhan’s hair, and Luhan leaned into the touch, missing the way Sehun had played with his hair. “I distance myself from you, making you so confused, making me confused too … And suddenly I’m back again. I want you to study and at the same time I want to make sure you’re okay … And all these things are coming in between us, and I hate it but I can’t help it …” As Luhan kept rambling, he felt the immense frustration, helplessness and anger that he had forced down beginning to rise, but once again it was directed at himself. He hated how he had come into Sehun’s life only to make it worse. He hated how he had made sure he stayed well away from Sehun just so he could maybe be better off, but that didn’t work very well, and most of all he hated how he eventually let his feelings – his heart – take over his head. Luhan could feel it, the miserable burden that rested on his shoulders weighing him down and his pent up feelings making him swell like a balloon, and it was making him dizzy with guilt, and he found himself drowning in it, falling deeper …

“Shh.” The voice was hoarse, as if he hadn’t spoken in days, but soothing. The gentle tone of it, the maturity in it was enough to make Luhan stop. Despite that, he didn’t look up because he wasn’t yet ready to meet the expression that might linger on Sehun’s face. Not yet.

“You idiot,” Luhan could hear Sehun mutter as the fingers in his hair curled his strands slowly, almost lazily. “About time you came back …”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been such an …” Luhan whispered, lips pulled in a thin line as he kept his frustrated tears back, fists clenched tightly as they lay on Sehun’s chest. Finally, being able to admit the horrible truth, Luhan looked up daringly, ready for any expression of betrayal, disappointment, sadness or anger. What met his eyes were none of those. The soothing expression was there, clear as day, in Sehun’s tired, tired eyes. The forgiveness in them, though, was what Luhan needed most.  The relief was short-lived though, because when he looked up, something else distracted him completely.

Sehun looked worse than the last time he had seen him. The dark circles were more prominent, and Sehun looked as if he was about to nod off any minute. His lips were dry and parched, as if he hadn’t touched water in days, and he was so pale. So, so pale.

“Sehunnie?” Luhan cupped Sehun’s face in his hands, worried to the bone. “Are you okay? What happened this week?” A hand settled itself on Luhan’s arm and made a feeble attempt to push him away.

“I’m fine.” He mumbled as he moved Luhan along into a sitting position. They were so close, and even in serious situation like this, Luhan couldn’t help but blush. Hands clamped themselves around Luhan’s shoulders, and he looked up, shocked. Although Sehun looked fatigued, there was joy in his eyes and a small smile on his lips as he them briefly.

“Can I … do whatever I want with you? As … punishment?” Sehun asked shyly, but there was a hint of nervousness in his voice, as if he needed confirmation for something. Absentmindedly Luhan nodded, eyes wide and hoping that Sehun didn’t do anything too bad.

What he expected was none of that at all. Instead, the hands on his shoulders moved to wrap themselves around Luhan’s neck almost desperately as he was pulled into Sehun’s chest into a tight embrace. Luhan realised later that Sehun was shaking, and as Sehun buried his face onto Luhan’s neck, Luhan could feel something wet.

“Don’t leave again.” Sehun’s voice broke Luhan’s heart. It was similar to a child’s, obedient, asking for forgiveness, and so afraid. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did. I was scared you’d leave and never come back. Don’t do that, hyung. I have no one else.”

The last sentence felt like a slap in the face to Luhan as he realised what he had did. He had abandoned Sehun. He had used his confusion as an excuse to avoid Sehun, and used that as a diversion just so his heart could be quenched of all guilty conscience. It did nothing, because now the guilt was back tenfold. What made it worse was Sehun was holding him so tightly; as if he truly believed Luhan would leave again.

“I’m sorry.” Luhan whispered as he slowly wound his arms around Sehun’s body, realising that Sehun had been so cautious because he was afraid he had done something wrong. “I won’t leave again. I won’t leave you alone, Sehun.” I’ll make sure to leave you with people that will forever stay by your side.

“Don’t do this to me anymore. Please … “ Sehun’s voice cracked as he spoke, tone shaky, as shaky as his body. “Stay.”

At that point, he realised that Sehun needed someone to lean on, and right now no one was there to help him. Luhan realised how much of a selfish idiot he had been for almost losing Sehun like that, and it was because of him that Sehun had been reduced to this, reduced to nothing but an overworked, exhausted teenager.

No, he wouldn’t do that again. Health comes before study, and if Luhan had to choose between any of those two, he knew his answer in a heartbeat.

For now, he would stay by Sehun’s side (this also made it so much easier on his heart) until he could find someone to replace him. Even though it hurt, even though it was the most painful truth he had ever come across, Luhan knew he couldn’t stay forever.

Luhan had convinced Sehun he’d stay for a week at his apartment, reassuring him by calling his parents to tell them where he was and where he would be for the rest of the week. Mostly to take care of Sehun, but also make up for the week they’ve lost. When he had finally coaxed Sehun into a nap, soothing him into taking the rest of the day off his multiple jobs, he went over to the kitchen in hopes of making something healthy for Sehun for dinner.

When he searched the fridge, there was nothing there except for milk that was overdue a week ago. Frowning, he went to the cupboards, and found with a horror nothing but instant noodles. Packages and packages of them. He stared at them, watching in disbelief, and then scurried around the rest of the cupboards, finding nothing but instant noodles. He even checked the bins, and they were full of instant noodle cups. What had Sehun been doing these past few weeks? No wonder he looked so sickly.

Checking his wallet, Luhan decided to catch a taxi back to his college, where his car was. After that, he drove home for some of his important belongings before going to the grocery. When he was back, the apartment kitchen was full of fresh food. By the time he was back, it was time to cook dinner.

Sehun was woken by the smell of delicious food, something he’d come to cherish these past few weeks alone. At first, he thought he was dreaming or passing by restaurants again, but when he opened his eyes and found himself staring at the white ceiling, he knew he wasn’t hallucinating.

Letting out a small yawn, he realised that he felt much more refreshed than he had in a long time. For the job that he missed today, it was one at a small grocery two elderly people owned. He was supposed to deliver their fresh food from everywhere, to anywhere. He was glad to have found good employers who had kindly given him a day off while cutting out no pay at all. After watching how young he was, they had insisted on giving him some of their fresh vegetables, but Sehun had politely refused, saying he wouldn’t have time to cook them in the first place – that much was true. The kindest employers so far were the elderly couple at the small grocery, whom had made sure he ate every last meal they provided him when they found out he didn’t have time to eat. Sehun made a mental note to thank them fully once he was back home.

Sehun had to wake up in the morning to deliver the newspapers around his neighbourhood, then rush to school (usually finding himself dozing off there much to his teachers’ annoyance) and then he had to rush to his next work, which was working at a counter in a convenience store on some days, and working at the grocery on some other days. Lastly, at night he would have to help at a construction site, where they needed strong and able men. By the time he was home it would be late, around 11 o’clock, and he would have to spend the rest of his time showering and studying. Recently it was worse for Sehun because whenever he went to bed, even when he was dead tired, he found himself wide awake because he was thinking of Luhan, and couldn’t help but wonder if Luhan was angry at him, or worse, tired of him. Those thoughts would haunt him day and night, whenever he was free to think, and every time it was powerful enough to send a punch to the gut. He had nightmares about Luhan, and that would force him to stay awake throughout the night and then he would have no energy in the morning.

Even though he was hiding it, despite the adventurous and independent façade he wore, he missed home terribly. This apartment was big, but it was nothing like his old home. The heart of his home was his family, and he hated to admit but he even missed his father. What kept him stubbornly rooted to this hell hole of a place (it was because of the high pay) were Luhan and his desire to be with him. Sehun wanted to make his parents realise that he was serious about Luhan, and he would not go back until he got what he wanted. Like a headstrong, stubborn, spoilt child.

Sehun was happy to taste the first steps of freedom, but it was short-lived. Now he was tied down to multiple jobs and the expensive rent of the apartment. Tied down by the stress of upcoming exams, but he didn’t care much about that anymore. It was in a week, and although he studied his hardest, he usually found himself sleeping on his homework because he was so, so tired. He realised he didn’t mind being this busy, this exhausted, if it was all to get them to accept Luhan. Luhan was worth everything, and Sehun would work to the bone if it meant he could spend the rest of his life with Luhan. He meant it wholeheartedly, after finding out he was in love.

Watching Luhan smile made his heart skip, and it made him smile back despite whatever circumstances. Sehun was captivated by Luhan’s sparkling eyes, and could get himself lost in them. Whenever Luhan touched him, accident or not, light or intimate, it always sent sparks throughout his body, shivers up his spine. Luhan’s voice was soft and gentle, and despite the small cute face he bore and his soft heart, Sehun found him manly and strong. Sehun had fallen, but never had he fallen this far, this low; his feelings never this strong, this lively; thoughts never this occupied, this contorted; heart never beating this fast, this hard; desire never this passionate, this vivid; most of all, despite the hardships, he had never felt this joyous, this happy, this content. He loved Luhan, and he knew that it wasn’t just a fluke; it was different, so different from the other people he had felt special feelings for.

“Sehun?” The soft voice that he had come to adore broke his train of thought and he looked up, watching the bright but worried smile dance across Luhan’s lips, and immediately he smiled back automatically, feeling the warmth of Luhan’s smile transfer to his heart. “Sleep good?”

“Yeah.” Sehun replied, and watching Luhan busy cooking – cooking for him –  was enough to reduce him to laughter or tears, he wasn’t sure. What he was absolutely certain of, though, was that he was touched, and he bit his lip to bite back those tears that threatened to surface and let out a large, appreciative smile instead.

“What are you cooking?” He asked, almost cheekily as he went over and absentmindedly rested his chin on Luhan’s shoulder, arms naturally, in this position, sliding over and putting them inside Luhan’s hoodie pockets. He took in Luhan’s scent, and despite his calm composure, his heart was racing.

“You’ll find out later,” Luhan replied with a teasing tone as he focused on the dish he was cooking. Sehun could see those wide eyes squint in concentration, eyelashes fluttering once in a while.

At this moment, everything was perfect. If what Sehun had gone through this whole time would lead to this, it was worth it, and Sehun would do it over again. This time, it wasn’t Luhan and Sehun against the world, because it was only the two of them in their own little universe. In Sehun’s opinion, Luhan was small under his arms, and how he would love to wrap them around his hyung, wrap him up so his problems couldn’t touch him; so he couldn’t worry and then beat himself up over it. It was over in an instant though, much to Sehun’s disappointment, and it was ruined by Luhan’s concerns again.

“Go rest some more.” The gentle voice soothing as smaller hands pried his arms away. Before Sehun could protest, he was hit with a soft chuckle; one that left him stunned and hit him straight in the heart. Without speaking, he stumbled into the living room and threw himself on the couch. his lips, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep with Luhan around – because this heart won’t stop beating so fast, dammit! – but he forced himself to, because he knew he couldn’t afford to miss work tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that … Sehun began counting how many days he had to work, and since it was endless (for the time being), it eventually bored Sehun into sleep.

The dinner went well – Sehun ate like he had never eaten before. Luhan could tell he was grateful as he wolfed almost everything down. He could see now that Sehun’s cheeks were hollower, and he had lost a bit of weight.

Luhan also made sure that Sehun was more relaxed for that day, just so he could have time to heal, even though it was only for a bit. He made sure to tuck Sehun in and speak with him as he sat on the ground, and they talked until 9:30, at that point where Luhan made Sehun sleep.

His whole week there was satisfactory, and Luhan was content. He didn’t see Sehun much at all due to his jobs, but he made sure that Sehun had time for himself and for study. He could tell already that Sehun was getting better, and that calmed him the most. The time that Luhan was supposed to stay over was gone in an instant, and in the end the both of them were reluctant to leave.

When Luhan had finally reassured Sehun that he would be back, to cook him meals occasionally whenever he had the time, Sehun let his hyung go and went off to work. When he was sure Sehun was out of sight, Luhan turned the other way and headed towards Sehun’s house.

Luhan was back, and he felt small compared to the rest of the house. He fidgeted as he waited for Sehun’s mother to come back from making tea and his father to speak with him. It was a gamble – he was either going to be thrown out or allowed to stay for few seconds before getting thrown out, but he needed Sehun’s father to work with him.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but could only be minutes, the large man came out from his forbidden office and gruffly sat down in front of Luhan. Immediately Luhan stood up and bowed deeply before sitting down again.

“Get on with it,” The man grumbled, but Luhan could tell that he was interested in finding out whether Sehun was doing well or not.

“I will definitely bring Sehun back, sir.” Luhan declared in what he hoped would be his most confident voice. The older man scoffed, but said nothing.

“But I can’t do that, sir, without your support.” At that, Sehun’s father looked up almost curiously, and Luhan knew he had him right where he wanted him. For now.  Right then, his wife appeared and set down their tea before hurrying out, knowing that this was a man to man talk and that she didn’t want any part in it.

“Sehun’s not ready for marriage or to work overseas … “ Sehun’s father looked as if he was about to burst in anger and denial, so Luhan quickly continued. “so I’m hoping that you can postpone it, sir.”

“While he is stubbornly in denial, he wouldn’t accept what you throw at him, sir.” Luhan gulped, but he made sure to keep himself composed and his voice steady. “Please just give him some time to think it over, and let him have more choices over his life.

“What I mean, sir, is that while you can still make him go to an engagement meeting, you must make him see that it is him that has his future in his hands, sir. I’ve given his phone back, sir, so you can now contact him whenever you want.”  Luhan had left the phone the day he irresponsibly left Sehun without a proper goodbye. He could see Sehun’s father thinking, contemplating, and he took a deep breath before continuing. “Let him be free, sir.”

“What’s the catch?” Sehun’s father asked, catching on to Luhan’s intention of the whole thing. Luhan was confident, more than anything, that Sehun’s father would agree if he were to say this aloud.

“I’ll disappear from your lives forever.” The moment those words left Luhan’s lips, he could feel his voice quiver, and his hands shaking. It was the hardest thing to say, and most probably the hardest thing he’ll ever do, but it was inevitable. Sehun’s father raised an eyebrow, impressed.

“I’ll be leaving in around two months, and you won’t have to see me again.” Luhan voiced out when he was sure he had calmed down. “I just hope, sir, you can give the freedom that Sehun wants, and I can assure you that he will do as you tell him to.”

“Please consider it,” Luhan’s voice rang clear in the air, and he bowed deeply before preparing to go. He didn’t have to turn around to watch the older man sit there quietly; thinking about this whole thing so intently that he didn’t notice Luhan was leaving. On the way to the entrance, he bowed goodbye to Sehun’s mother and brother, and just as he was about to leave, a small hand caught his arm.

“Luhan,” A voice whispered, and Luhan turned to see Sehun’s mother. She held out an envelope to Luhan and closed his fingers around it.

“Please give it to Sehun. We don’t know where he lives and his birthday is coming up. He won’t accept this from us but please find a way to give it to him.” Luhan, upon seeing the pleading look in those eyes, nodded and let out a reassuring smile. Sehun’s mother then smiled gratefully and let him off.

They care so much about you, Sehun. Luhan thought to himself as he walked back to his car. Why don’t you just go home already?

Sehun’s father sat there, contemplating this whole thing carefully. The whole thing sounded pretty good but he wasn’t sure if he should accept it. After all, losing full control over his son was like losing half his company branches, but in the end, would he dare lose his son altogether?

His first impression of the boy, Sehun’s low-class friend, was that he was indeed low-class, naïve, a bother and distraction, and looked too feminine for his own good. He wore simple clothes, didn’t bother tidying his hair or standing stiffly in front of Sehun’s parents – he was considered lowest of the low; and yet that Luhan boy was more graceful in his peasant clothes than all the other rich kids he had ever seen; he was polite, humble, and much to his surprise, Luhan was mature, manly, and negotiable. He was all the traits that could do for a businessman, and it was right then that this Luhan boy had moved Sehun’s father’s heart.

The large man was utterly impressed at the way Luhan had sold himself out just so he could do what was best for Sehun. If Sehun could learn from his ways …

He was almost disappointed that Luhan had decided to leave their lives as the ultimate catch.

When class was over and Luhan was ready, he got in his car and drove to Sehun’s house, a large smile on his face.

Today was no ordinary day, because almost two decades ago this was the day when Sehun was born. It was a good day, with a clear sky and the weather not as cold. He pulled over when he arrived, grabbing a large box and a small one as he approached the door, knocking on it with his forehead because he didn’t have enough hands.

The reply came faster than usual, and Luhan could only blame that on Sehun’s small steps to becoming a healthy teenager again. When the door opened,  eyes widened as Luhan rushed inside, put everything down and slung an arm over Sehun’s shoulder.

“Happy birthday, you brat.” Luhan congratulated as he used his arm to pulled Sehun into a hug. At first there was no response, then he was pushed away with gentle force.

“Huh?” Sehun’s expression was one of confusion before he let out a large smile. “It’s … It’s my birthday today! Oh yeah! It’s my birthday!” With that he held Luhan’s wrist and ran around the room, whooping with joy.

After they’ve calmed down, Luhan opened the small box and revealed a small, pretty chocolate cake. The smile on Sehun’s face was priceless as he made his way to look at the cake.

“Oh. I forgot candles.” Luhan exclaimed as he got up and started patting his jeans pockets – a silly action considering he actually forgot them. Sehun jumped up with a youthful smile on his face.

“I got some! In the cupboard. Lemme search …” With that, he sped off into the kitchen. Luhan shook his head, a joyful smile lighting up his own face as he waited. When he was sure Sehun wasn’t going to come back anytime soon, he took out the envelope that he received from Sehun’s mother a few days ago.

“I’m going to your room, okay.” Luhan called as he let himself in, and to his satisfaction, he found Sehun’s wallet. In there were some notes, and Luhan stuffed more inside, but not too much as to make it too obvious.

He looked around and was relieved when he found Sehun’s pay check and piggybank (Luhan found it adorable that he had one) and put some more notes inside. Lastly he put the remaining notes lying around – in Sehun’s cloak pockets and under his pillow and even in the pages of his textbooks. Smiling to himself, Luhan surveyed his work proudly and was about to walk out when the ringing of something caught his ears.

Turning around, he watched the phone that Sehun had thrown out ages ago but had kept it again after Luhan left it lying in Sehun’s coffee table. Luhan was glad that Sehun had decided to keep it, and curiously went to check it.  

“Sehunnie” He called while picking up the phone. “You have a message. It says – “ Footsteps running on the floorboard were loud and heavy, and suddenly the door burst open.

“Don’t read it – “ But it was too late. While Sehun stood rooted to his bedroom entrance with a horrified expression on his face, Luhan was frozen in his spot near his bedside table, the horror etched onto their faces mirroring each other’s. Luhan spoke first.

“Sehun …” He called quietly, and that was enough to send shivers down Sehun’s spine.

“I know what you’re going to say, Luhan, and I’m not going.” Sehun growled aloud, a determined expression on his face.

“You won’t know unless you – “

“I KNOW FATHER’S TRYING TO LURE ME BACK!” Sehun shouted in anger, eyes ablaze with ire. “HE SAYS HE WANTS TO NEGOTIATE, BUT HE WON’T!” Silence rang in the air loudly, the atmosphere tense between them.

“I don’t want to marry some stupid rich girl anyway.” Sehun mumbled once he had calmed down, and Luhan could tell that even Sehun was surprised at his own abrupt outburst.

“But he’s not telling you to marry.” Luhan objected gently while looking at the message briefly. It read: ‘If you meet with the Choi family on the 15^th, ***Restaurant, 20^th floor, then we’ll discuss your engagement and transfer to America later. Be there 11:15 sharp.’ Luhan could tell that ever since he had spoken with Sehun’s father, he had already began trying to bring Sehun back.

“It’s only a meeting. It’s not confirmed yet.” Sehun was about to protest, but Luhan wouldn’t let him.

“Come on. If you don’t like her you can always talk it out with your father. You’re 19 now, Sehun, and nearly finished school. He’s going to realise that he can’t control you anymore.” He could see the clock in Sehun’s mind ticking as he thought over his, could almost hear the pieces clicking together.

“But Father will – “

“He won’t.” In moments, Luhan had closed the distance between them, a hand reassuringly resting on Sehun’s shoulder. “He misses you, Sehun. Can’t you tell by the way he’s trying to negotiate with you?”

A small silence filled the room as Sehun tried to think about his possibilities and his arguments, and it was a silence Luhan knew he would need in order to convince Sehun. Watching Sehun quieten down and staring at the floor intensely, even before Luhan spoke his last sentence, he knew this time the victory was his.

“And I know you miss him too.”

“I don’t even know how he knew I had thrown out my phone.” Sehun grumbled as he sat on the couch and started eating his cake. “He was lecturing me about it and everything.”

“Open your present now, Sehunnie!” Luhan chirped as he got up quickly and brought the present over to Sehun, attempting to change the subject because he felt almost guilty for trying to return the phone that day. Sehun immediately forgot what he was talking about and jumped up to accept the large box. The moment he opened it, his face lit up with joy and Luhan swore he saw a glimpse of tears in the corners of Sehun’s eyes.

“Luhaaaaaan.” Sehun yelled affectionately as he set the box on the ground and took out a cup of bubble tea. “I haven’t had these in ageeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.” Luhan smiled in return.

“I’m glad you like it,” He replied softly, adoring the childish grin that Sehun currently wore on his otherwise tired face.

“I love it, hyung!” In seconds, he had the straw poke in and had begun drinking it. Without a word, he took the box and put the rest of them in the fridge.

“How many of them are there?” Sehun called from the kitchen.

“Nineteen, of course!” Luhan responded back. When Sehun was back, he tossed a bubble tea to Luhan. If Luhan didn’t have fast reflexes, the tea would’ve hit him square in the face.

“For you.” Sehun mumbled into his straw.

“What? But you haven’t tas – “

“I’ll bet you this apartment that you haven’t either.” Sehun shot back swiftly with an intense stare. Luhan blushed at being caught and poked the cover with the straw as Sehun came and sat next to him.

“Thanks,” He mumbled, and began drinking gratefully. For a moment the both of them sank into the comfortable silence of mutually appreciating their drink.

“Treat her well, okay?” Luhan spoke softly, keeping his voice quiet just so it was harder to detect the wistfulness in his tone. How he wished to be in her place, whoever she was. How Luhan wished he weren’t in this position – so utterly impossible to be with Sehun.

“Yeah, yeah.” Sehun replied nonchalantly, rolling his eyes before smiling lightly. Luhan’s heart jumped painfully upon seeing Sehun’s immaculate features, and how he only had a limited time before he could probably never see it again. “Whatever makes you happy.” A warm but slim hand slid down and grasped Luhan’s, squeezing it reassuringly. Luhan stiffened for a moment, heart erratic, before he relaxed and gave a small squeeze back. Luhan wanted to cherish his remaining time in Korea, especially with Sehun; wanted to appreciate every meeting, every conversation, and every touch. He would pour a little of him in everything he did with Sehun until he left Korea with nothing but his heart.

The room was darkened as they squeezed close together, still slowly sipping their bubble tea. They had decided to watch an action movie that Luhan brought over. As they watched, or Sehun watched, for that matter, Luhan would instead move his eyes over to Sehun, watching the way his tongue would occasionally slide out from his mouth to his lips subtly before disappearing again; noticed the way Sehun’s eyes would widen when something exciting was happening and how he would shift in his seat whenever they were fighting. He loved the way Sehun’s face would morph into an expression of fear whenever it looked like the hero was losing, his lips making a squiggly ‘o’ as he let out soft yelps. Luhan knew he could watch Sehun all day if he wanted to.

“Hyung.” Sehun spoke suddenly, and Luhan had to blink himself out of his trance. “My exams are in six days.” Luhan let out a small smile, reaching his hand up to ruffle the blond locks.

“Well, do your best!” He cheered, knowing that Sehun had worked so hard ever since he arrived in the apartment.

“I don’t think I’m going to make it.” He whispered. Luhan saw the worry in his eyes, the stress, and his hand reached down to grab Sehun’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Have confidence. Just try your best, okay?” Luhan replied softly, ignoring the way Sehun clenched his hand so unbearably tightly. He also refused to acknowledge the guilt that began to rise within him; tried to stop himself from reminding himself that if it weren’t for him, Sehun wouldn’t be in this apartment at all.

Sehun calmed down after a while, perking up once in a while whenever the hero in the movie was in danger, and it was up until near the ending when Luhan found Sehun fast asleep on his shoulder.

Sleep well, Sehunnie. Luhan thought to himself as he stoked Sehun’s hair. He watched Sehun the whole night until when he finally closed his eyes at home the next day, he saw nothing but Sehun’s sleeping face, felt nothing but the warmth of his dongsaeng’s body pressed up against his, knowing full well that if he didn’t burn that image in his mind, he would have nothing left to miss when he went back home to China.

Wahh thanks again for the comments and subscribers >< Your comments have fueled me to write, so there you go - a long chapter :'D