➳ chapter 4

soft

It's funny how one moment, silence is all you need and the next you want to hear the voices on the ones you love. The vibrations that hum through your fingertips, as the soft words touch your lips. But how, how could I have thought everything was going be okay? I lost Chanyeol's trust I knew that. I couldn't even look at him, his red, tired eyes. How much hell did I cause him?

It was strange, I wasn't even ashamed of my home how the walls peeled, or that burning feeling from the wounds I dug into my skin. It made me feel human, I couldn't go numb. Not right now. Not for Chanyeol. "I called 'Show Champion.' " He said breaking the silence. We both lost track after an hour of unsaid words. "They said you... quit." My eyes shut in shame and tucked my legs to me, we sat upon the rickedty maroon couch not able to know how to speak to each other. "Is that why you started to harm yourself?"

The way he said 'harm' rocked my core. He was disgusted at me. How could he not? "Part of it." 

Chanyeol took an intake of breath, "How long have you been..." He trailed off as if the word was acid, I took my hand and covered my eyes. Answering that will make it words. "Yunhee." 

"Ten months." I barely could whispered.

Chanyeol then moved to place his elbows balancing on his knees, as he held his headd between his palms. "You could have told me. You could have told me you got kicked out of your apartment and dumped on the street, you should have told me you quit your job. Why?"

"I couldn't let you see me," I pulled my hand from my face, as I curled my legs towards me. "I, you wouldn't see Kim Yunhee." 

"What?" He asked in his low voice, Chanyeol turned his eyes to meet mine. 

"You wouldn't see the Kim Yunhee you grew up with," My voice came out in a whisper as my throat tighted, I felt the salty orbs began to escape my eyes. One single tear, don't show him your tears. You promised yourself. "You wouldn't see the smiling, happy Kim Yunhee." I felt my shoulders began to quake on their own as more tears slide down my face,  smearing on my glass lenses after I tried to wipe them away. 

Large hands took my shoulders and I felt myself being pulled to him, this time sobs were taking over my body. In my castle my walls held so much strength over the years of hiding, but Chanyeol with a single touch I fell. My barricades were broken into, every stone, every ounce of energy disappeared in those seconds. "My Kim Yunhee," the hot breath whispered into my breath, "This is the girl I grew up right here." The warm hands trailed down my upper arm before they engulfed me in a tight, needed hug. 

"Chanyeol," My voice was muffled from the fabric of his sweatshirt. 

"You're going to get help," He said in a determine voice, "You're moving out of this place, and you are getting that internship back but in SM." 

No, this is what I didn't want. "No," I shook my headed vigorously, " I don't need it, I don't need the pity." I wiped my tears with my free hand. "Please this is why I didn't tell you."

It once again became silent, "Because someone would have taken care of you?" He spat back to me in a harsh voice. "I don't care how much you deny, you aren't locking me out. I'll take a hiatus if I have to, EXO can do a few performances without me."

"Chanyeol," I said in a low tone. "Don't." 

But instead of a reply, or another argument forming he hugged me. We hugged in a tight embrace for a very long time before his phone began to ring, "Ignore it." Chanyeol said as soon as the tone went off. So we did, and his phone slowly ran of battery, so did mine. We held each other until the noon sun raised high in the sky then sunk below the burning city of Seoul. 

It was never going to be okay. Right now, there's hope, something I never felt until I felt his lips brush against the crown of my head which made thick streams of pain, and sorrow leak from my face. The warmth scent comforted me until I was into a sleep, and even when the body pulled me under the covers, his warmth taking place of the cool empty sheets to my sides.

 A/N: Hi, thanks for reading! one more chapter left or so~  I will be doing grammar/spelling fixes later on tonight~

You can read the edited version of this story on my TUMBLR 

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ExOtIc43v4 #1
Chapter 5: this is wow....
Authornim, This is the best angst story I've ever read.... or the best story overall....

ermahgerd mah feels. Y U DO DIS.
this is....I'm speechless...
xyxy60 #2
Chapter 5: This reallly conveyed the emotions very well and until now I don't know why does she want to kill herself
angrymaknae #3
this is so sad