Because I Don’t Know How To Love

Characters: CN Blue | Jungshin | Eunjung

One shut story

 

 

Unknown Pov

 

“Jungshin, can you see this…? I have just learnt Japanese… let me sing for you….”

“………………….”

“Here you are, can you see this kitty? I know you love kitty, so I made it for you…”

“………………….”

“You are so hot, Mr. Untouchable please open the door for me….”

“…………………”

“Hello, I am MC Ham Eunjung, today I am going to introduce a famous rookie idol for you…” the woman jumped on the sofa while she was holding the bottle, but she kept it as microphone. She was taking video by herself happily before she moved the camera to another tall man who was standing near her.

“Come on… let say something to your fans. They are waiting for you…” she gave a bottle to him.

“No, it’s enough. It seems so silly…” he pushed the bottle before he hid camera video.

“Lee Jungshin, tomorrow you will interview in FNC… Yah… your dream is coming soon…” the girl threw the camera to the sofa and she jumped to ride his back. However, the camera kept working and staring at them.

“Hey! Monkey, get off.” He said coldly.

“No, no… hahaha. Who am I to you? Monkey? This is so silly. Yah…” she held his ears tightly.

“Ouch… move… hey…” he waved himself till she fell from his back directly.

 

-preb- The video clip disappeared and it could be seen only the black screen of LCD. The tall man kept looking at the LCD without feeling, even it was nothing there. He was sitting on the sofa in the living room and it seemed like he was waiting for someone’s returning. Suddenly, the phone in the living room was ringing, but he didn’t pick it up. He didn’t even move as he was only holding the photo of a couple. He stared at the photo painfully before the LCD reshowed the clip again. It was the woman who he loved the most in his life. She was smiling to him.

"Hello.... The winter is coming soon and today is your birthday. I know I made you angry yesterday. I'm sorry.. I... " she was holding camera and taking video by herself while she was walking on the road's side. 

"However Jungshin, I hope you will like my gift and we will return good together..."

Waaaaaaaa............... Bang.....

Suddenly the camera was fallen down on the road with much blood on the camera's mirror.

“Why you did this to me? Ham Eunjung! You are so bad….” He suddenly cried loudly before he threw a cup to the LCD’s screen and then everything turned in a black one. Nobody knew what happened in that moment.

 

Flashback

South Korea, ilsan 2009/ 5/5

 

“Mom, I want to become an idol….” The tall man talked to his mom while they were sitting in the area of their home.

“What are you saying? You have no skill to do that. Forget it, it’s useless.” His mom said.

“I can play guitar.. I believe I can do it..” he strongly said.

“Is that so? Just ask those people, who believe in you? You will be allowed if someone says he or she believes you.” She pointed to people who were walking and working around there.

“It’s useless. Don’t spend your time uselessly…” one aunt said.

“Yeah, your mother is right. Jungshin ah… forget it…” another aunt said.

“Don’t dream too high. There are a lot of pretty people in Seoul who want to be superstars. How can you reach your goal?” an old man said.

“Guitar? I know you are guitarist, but there are many people who can play guitar…”

“You have no chance to do that job.”

“Just study, don’t waste your time..”

“Superstar? Hahaha… It’s so funny. You can’t even sing…” those people were complaining him so badly. Jungshin kept standing there hopelessly before another woman appeared.

“I believe you, Lee Jungshin! You can do it. Don’t give up…” she was a woman who would be added into his life from now on.

“Ham Eunjung….” He said about her name softly. She was the one who believed in him all time, his childhood friend.

…………………………..

South Korea, Seoul 2009/ August

 

Jungshin moved to live in Seoul with his parents’ house there. He waked up every early morning for leaning music. Moreover, he had produced a few songs to join FNC’s contest. During that time, there was only FNC, which needed new trainees since it was a new company. FNC Music became popular with FT Island, the first band in that company.

It was one day of many days he trained music. Jungshin kept playing music alone in the music room of his home saliently. However, it had only music sound there at the quiet moment. Suddenly, he heard the belling of his home as he stopped his music. Jungshin kept his guitar on the sofa before he went to the door and opened it.

“Jungshin!!!!!!” the woman in front of the door hugged him tightly with her cheerful face.

“Eunjung..? Why suddenly you are in Seoul?” he moved out from her hugging and stared at her strongly.

“I changed my school to Seoul. Don’t you welcome me?” said she. Eunjung walked into his house directly without asking for permission. It seemed like she kept this house as her own.

“You are still in high school. Do need to change school so?” he kept asking her.

“Why not? You can train in FNC, why I can’t change school?” she kept smiling to him and then she laid herself down on the sofa peacefully.

“Where will you stay in Seoul?” he asked her.

"Your house is so big, why you can’t share me?” she scanned around his big house fascinatingly.

“What???” he shocked.

“Who am I to you? I am the one who made your mom allow you to train here…”

Jungshin said nothing. He knew he couldn’t fight her at all; therefore, he allowed her to stay in his house. Moreover, she was his childhood friend and she always stayed by his side even he got difficult problems.

Day by day, Jungshin tried to make his music and he had Eunjung as a helper. She was always his assistant and she helped do this or that for him after class. Jungshin finally decided to send his music to FNC for trainee contest in the early September.

 

15/ September

 

It was Jungshin’s birthday and also the dateline of FNC’s result. Eunjung had bought a cake and made some food for a small party of his birthday. She kept waiting for him for a whole day; however, he hadn’t come home yet. He had gone since the early morning to get the result. He had spent too much time in this travelling. -_-^

The woman felt a little bit hopeless and she thought that he might have not passed what why he didn’t come back home. Before the midnight came, it was 10 o’clock. Jungshin finally appeared in front of the door with his sad shadow.

“Jungshin, how are you? Why are you so late? How is your result? Pass or not?” she ran to him and asked a lot of questions in the same time. Jungshin said nothing and he just walked passing her shoulder without feeling. He didn’t even look at the food on the table which Eunjung had prepared for him.

“Jungshin…” Eunjung could understand this moment and she could guesst what the result was.

“Jungshin…” she ran to him for comforting, but the tall man faster closed the door loudly.

“Be alright, you can try it later… Jungshin… Jungshin opens the door please…” she knocked it again and again.

“Get out… Get out..” he threw the door with many supplies in his room. Eunjung stared at the door tiredly.

……………………….

At the midnight night was very cold for people who walked across the road, but it didn’t touch the woman who was walking along the road. She was in normal clothes without coat and she was going to the company which hurt her man.

“Lee Hongki? Where is Lee Hongki?” she ran into the FNC’s area messily.

“Hey, Miss. you can’t go there… Hey…….!!”

“This is so bad… How unfair this company is! You didn’t even listen to his music, how come you marked people fail directly. This is too much. I shouldn’t admire this company… Yahhhhhhhh……….”

“&^(OKNY%#^^(……….”

……………………….

Next Day

 

The tall man finally got out from his bed room. He messed his hair a little bit before he came down. He just walked and walked, but he didn’t forget to scan around for someone. She wasn’t here. He looked at the clock and he saw it was still the early morning. Where was she going in this time?

Suddenly he noticed the food and cake on the table which Eunjung had prepared for him. Thus, he awaked that yesterday had been his birthday. On the table, there was a small camera near the cake. He went picked it up before he sat down on the chair.

“Hello Jungshin, I know this is not a time to surprise birthday while you are feeling down…” the woman in the clip said.

“However, don’t feel upset with this unfairness. You know? God will see your real ability and it will be found out later… Anyway, I have a special gift for you… Ten Ten Ten… This is a secret gift… Jungshin will be able to join FNC soon…. Bing~ ” she blew the bear stupidly.

“What a girl!” he turned off the camera and looked back to that cake. As soon as he began to touch that cake, suddenly his mobile phone rang. It was from FNc.

“What’s this?” he felt surprised and picked it up.

/This is FNC Music, we would like you to do interview with your contest song../

“Yes?”

…………………………….

Another part

 

“Eunjung?? Yah you are really…” Hyomin, Eunjung’s close friend came to vouch for her in police office after FNC had reported her last night.

“Hehehe…” she kept smiling her friend.

“How dare you smile in this time? You had too much free time to fight FNC?” they kept talking along the road.

“Because that company was so unfair for my friend.” She said simply.

“You are really a crazy girl. You did it for him; will he see your kindness? Huh? Lee Jungshin is really blind. He is never nice to you like you are.” Hyomin kept murmuring about Jungshin again and again.

“You see? If teacher finds out about your action last night, you will be in black note of our school..” she continued advising her friend. However, Eunjung seemed ignoring what Hyomin talked and she was imaging to Jungshin’s action in FNC.  Last night, she got success in helping Jungshin to be interview with his own music. Mr. Han Seungho was a clever director and he never let talent people go from his company easily.

“Maybe he is training his music in the modern room.. hehehe..” she laughed alone softly.

“Yah! Ham Eunjung, aren’t you listening to me? Jungshin, Jungshin, Your brain is full of that devil..”

“He is not a devil, but prince xD” Eunjung laughed.

“Stupid girl -.,-”

……………………….

Days later

 

"I passed it... I passed it...  Eunjung...." the tall man jumped happily after he received a confirming letter from FNC Music.

"What...? FNC?"

"Yes... I will train in FNC Music..."

“Really? Hahaha… you are really so cool..” both of them jumped happily before they hugged each other. Since Jungshin went to train in FNC, he tried harder day by day. Eunjung kept supporting him both outside and inside. She always made a cup of hot tea for him every night. She wished his dream would be warm like the hot tea which she made for. Every night, Jungshin always did his work till mid night. Sometimes he spent a whole night for editing music.

It was another night for them. September was going to pass in soon. It still had a few days left and October was coming soon. Eunjung didn’t see Jungshin in his room or home. She marked that he was outside. Moreover, it was mid-nigh and the weather was colder and colder. She was afraid if he touched a cold, so she decided to go out with his coat and she planned to see him. While she was walking in the park’s area, she found Jungshin in front of the river side. He kept quiet and he just only sat there.

"Why are you sitting alone? You looked so sad.." the girl came to sit near the tall man at the riverside.

"What to do? Tomorrow, FNC will choose 4 members to form CN Blue... It includes me..." He said.

"Really? You will be an idol soon..."

"No... I am in trouble now. They are asked to choose between me and Kwangjin. I'm afraid if they leave me..."

"Don't worry.. You are the best.." she held his hand tightly.

“Thank you…”

“Take this or you will touch a cold..” she gave him a coat.

……………………………..

FNC Music

 

“This is a time to count the votes between Kwang Jin and Jungshin.” Manager Jung told everyone in the room, and then he went to open the vote box. Jungshin and Kwang Jin kept sitting quietly, but their faces all were pale. Of course, they were shocked with this moment.

“Don’t worry! I voted for you, my beloved friend.” Minhyuk knew that Jungshin was nervous, so  he went to comfort him as well.

“Thanks..” he replied softly before he noticed at Manager.

“Well, FT Island- Won Bin voted for Kwang Jin, CN Blue Jonghyun voted for Kwang Jin… Eun Yi sshi voted for Kwang Jin… %(UKJ%*&” what manager was counting, shocked all Jungshin’s soul. They were all Kwang Jin’s side and his side hadn’t appeared yet.

“Okay Kwang Jin has 5 votes and Jungshin…. Well.. CN Blue Yonghwa & Minhyuk voted for Jungshin.. one more.. It is from FT Island Minhwan, he did vote for Jungshin too. Oh this is from FT Island Jonghun is for Jungshin and FT Island Jaejin also voted for Jungshin… both of them are the same 5. Wait and see, who did Hongki vote for?” Manager said

Jungshin kept looking at that paper and stared at Kwang Jin a little bit.  Jungshin felt nothing after he knew it was Hongki’s vote, because he and Hongki hadn’t been good together. No way to make Hongki stay by his side.

“Welcome to new maknae CN Blue Jungshin…” Manager said.

“Jungshin, you passed… ahh… you really passed.” Minhyuk jumped to hug his neck.

“I can’t believe it… Lee Hong Ki and FT 3 voted for me? O.O It’s weird.” Jungshin shaked his hair wonderingly.

After manager Jung and a few trainees went out, FT 4 (not include Wonbin) walked to Jungshin with their smiles.

“You are good. Just try the best.” Jonghun hit his shoulder.

“I already did it. Tell your tiger not bother me anymore.. I am really scared.” Minhwan hugged Jungshin’s arm scarily.

“Tiger?? O.O”

“It was that girl. She came to mess FNC last 2 week.” Said Jaejin

“What…??”

“I can’t believe this. She treated us so badly >o<” said Hongki.

…………………………….

The winter was coming soon; therefore, these days the weather was colder and colder. The girl in the living room was sitting on the sofa and she was making a coat happily. The music was being played as she enjoyed singing it too. Suddenly, the door was opened and Jungshin walked in with his badness.

“You are coming, Jungshin. How was your day?” Eunjung quickly put her coat away and walked to him with her sweet smile.

“What are you doing? Ham Eunjung..” he stared at her nastily.

“I am making a coat for this winter. Do you want to try it? It’s almost completed. I guess you really love this color..” she went to take the coat and gave it to him.
“I don’t mind with this entire useless thing. I am asking why you like to mind my own business?” he threw the coat to the garbage can, before he faced to her again. Eunjung kept looking at her coat painfully since she had made it for over a month already.

“You went to FNC, didn’t you?” he kept asking her.

“Yes, I did. But Jungshin ah…”

“It’s enough. Don’t mind my business anymore. You really made me embarrass. Did I pass because of a girl?”

“Jungshin, listen to me..” Eunjung held his hand but he pushed her to the sofa angrily. Jungshin went to his room and closed the door loudly. Eunjung could only look at his door quietly, because she knew she could do nothing with this man.

“He is so stubborn. :/ ” she breathed tiredly and noticed to coat back. She went to take it from the can and hug it sadly.

 

Years later

 

After CN Blue debuted, Jungshin became busier and busier. These days, CN Blue was going to released Japanese album in Japan. Therefore, Eunjung had to stay alone in the big house. Every night, she always spent her time with internet to search about CN Blue’s news. Jungshin became more popular after he changed his new hair style. He was the second busiest in CN Blue after Yonghwa during that time, because he had to role in dram “My Daughter Seoyoung”.

 

“Did you do it by yourself? You want me to wear this necklace and go out with you? A rich son like you will never understand people’s feeling…”

“Why..?”

“………..” the girl said nothing and just gave him a bad smile, before she crushed his chocolate.

 

“Damn… much.. Kim Seolhyun, how dared you do that to my Jungshin?? Aww…” Eunjung was watching drama as she was hugging the bear tightly. That scene was so touched her heart. Jungshin or Sung Je was in pain in that time.

“Yah this , if I were a director of this story, I will call Yoon Baekhee to slap this girl a few slaps. >o<” she kept murmuring alone.

“Any way, what is he doing this time? Is Japan cold like Korea? Jungshin, come back soon!” the short hair girl kept her bear on the table and she moved out from that place. She went to see the window sadly. She really missed that devil so much.

“When I image about his nasty face, yaya… that is too cute hehe..” she hugged the window shyly.

 

Today was another day when CN Blue came back from Japan. There were many fans at outside the airport to waiting for their biases. Eunjung was included in among of those girls too. As soon as CN Blue came out, those fans ran to them quickly without caring people around there.

“Yong Yong… awwwwwwwww……”

“Minhyuk kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……”

“Jonghyun is looking at me.. Jonghyun…. Awwww….”

“Jungshin… Jungshin…” Eunjung kept calling his name but Jungshin didn’t even see her. Those girls tried to push her out from that round till she fell down.

“Jungshin hik hik hik…” she stared at CN Blue’s back sadly when they were gone.

……………

In the evening, it was a lonely time for her. She kept having dinner alone without Jungshin. Since he had moved to CN Blue dorm, she was called as Miss. Forever Alone. Sometimes, she was alike to CN Blue’s saseng fan since she followed that group too much.

“Aigoo this woman…” another person said during that quiet moment. Eunjung turned back to see him again. Her soft face which had used to be showed sadness suddenly appeared a happiness smile again.

“Jungshin!!!!!” she fell her spoon and walked to him unusually since she had got injure at the airport.

“Are you okay?” he stared at her kneel carefully. Jungshin started cleaning her wound gently while Eunjung was sitting on the sofa. The action he was doing, made the girl smile again. It seemed like the happiest moment in her life. Jungshin never did that to her.

“Later, no need to go to airport again.” He stared at her a bit and took a sit on the sofa.

“Why did you know?””

“Am I blind?”

“Because I miss you.”

“It can be helped. I can’t greet you back in front of them.”

“It’s okay. Just look at me is enough…” she laughed

“Are you crazy? Why do you need to do so like fan? You are not my fan.”

“You can mark me as your fan hehe…”

“Silly girl. What do I do? Anyway, do you eat rice regularly? You look so weak.”

“I am strong enough. I do exercise every day and eat meal for 3 times per day.” She hugged his neck tightly.

“Really? One day you will become a pig..”

“And you can hug me happily hehehe…”

“You are not a woman. You trust me too much. Don’t be too close..” he pushed her forehead a little bit and moved away.

“Jungshin, come on. Let say something..” she her camera video and took him.

“I really wonder what kind of clips in that camera. You always take and force me to say something stupidly..” he looked away.

“Jungshin, hurry up. Please… let say something to your fans. How did you feel after come back from Japan?”

“Well…” he stared at camera.

“Japanese girls are so y haha…”

“Damn much.. you will die!!!!!!!!”

…………………

It was another day for them. Jungshin started being nice to her since he came back from Japan.  They were in date for a whole day. However, it was hard to them to go for a walk. Jungshin almost hid his whole appearance to escape from fans. It was a weird date for them. Both of them were separated from each other for 10 m. They only talked phone and walked along the road. After watching movie, they went to have dinner together. Luckily, the shop was dark and it made they could be together.

“Today is really fun… hehe..” even it was hard; however, Eunjung could release her fake smile to him again.

“It’s alright if you are happy.”

………………….

A few Days later

 

“Yah, Lee Jungshin was in date with this girl?”

“We can’t see her face clearly since it was so dark.”

“Who is she?”

“It was taken in the restaurant…”

 

“What’s this? How can you release this out?” Mr. Han looked threw a magazine to the tall man.

“It’s not like that. We are just friend..” said Jungshin.

“I don’t mind if you are in love. But you shouldn’t have opened it directly like this..” said Mr. Han.

“Master, she is just a friend..”

“It’s fine.. go to clear this story to reporters by yourself.”

………………………

“Jungshin ssi.. please clear this story? Are you really in date?”

“Your news shock all boices, do you think so? You are a quiet member in CN Blue but suddenly that news is released out..”

“It’s not exactly a date. I was having dinner with my co-worker of course.”

“Please tell us who she is?”

“She is…” suddenly AOA Seolhyun appeared during that interview. She dressed very beautifully and walked to him with her sweet smile.

“Seolhyun ssi? Why are you here? Is that Seolhyun ssi?” the reporters turned their cameras to her at the moment.

“Yes, of course. ” Seolhyun smiled.

“Yah, you two are really in date??”

“Aniyo, I just admire oppa by myself.” She laughed shyly.

“Aigoo… she suddenly trusted you like this. How do you feel Jungshin ssi?? What do you think of Seolhyun ssi?”

“I….” Jungshin stared at Seolhyun at the moment before he said something out.

“………..”

“Seolhyun is the cutest member in AOA..” He was shaking his hair.

………………….

The way the laughed during that interview made someone who was watching to them pain damn much. Jungshin and Seolhyun couple? Suddenly they were shipped by fan. Eunjung said nothing and she could only hug her bear and wiped her tear.

“Maybe I gave him many problems.” She kept staring at his face sadly.

“I should give him some times and support him secretly…”

………………..

Next day

 

“Why you suddenly moved back to this house?” the short hair girl stared at the tall man weirdly when she saw he was in front of the door with a few suitcases.

“This is my house, can’t I back?” he said coldly and went in by passing her shoulder. Eunjung knew he was feeling bored that why she didn’t say anything.

“What do you want to eat for today?” she gave him a cup of coffee.

“I will stay here for a while to compose new songs. I hope you wouldn’t bother me as before..”

“Okay I see…”

………………

Everything had been changed. Jungshin returned his bad character, after that new touched him. It wasn’t bad, but worse than before. Eunjung was never been right in his eyes. She always did wrong and boring liked a grandma.

Jungshin always did his work till mid night. Day by day, he became more stressful since his ability hadn’t been compared with Lee Hongki. Of course, both of them always did fight during meeting. Therefore, he decided to work hard to compare with Hongki. And this was another day for him again.

"What happened to you? You'd better take a rest. It's too night..." the girl brought a tea cup to the tall man who was sitting and writing music note stressfully.

"Go out. Don't bother me...!" he moved her cup a little bit.

"It's so cold for tonight... you'd better drink a hot tea..." she pushed it to him till the tea accidently released to his paper.

"What the hell you are doing? This is wet right now.. Do you have brain? I said I didn't need it" he threw the cup away before he yelled at her.

"I'm sorry.... you can have it later. Just call me.." she kept smiling in front of him .She picked up the broken cup and left sadly. No one knew how she calmed.

………………….

“What happened with your music nowadays? I guess, you might not have added your feeling with music at all.” Yonghwa advised Jungshin while CN Blue was meeting and talking about new album for this year.

“Feeling? How to do that? I’ve already edited it for a few times. I hope my songs would be added in Can’t Stop Album.”

“Mr. Han's already chosen songs already.” said Jonghyun.

“You’d better go to edit what Hyung needs.” said Minhyuk.

“Again?”

………………….

“Jungshin, what are you doing at this time?”

“I told you already not come into my room…”

“I’m sorry…..”

 

“Feeling? How can I add it? What’s wrong with this melody…” he kept talking alone till he felt asleep on his desk. A few minutes later, the door of his room was opened. Eunjung covered blanket on his back and she stared at the melody of music.

“You will never find out about your mistake, if you keep being stressful like this. Stupid guy..” she laughed at him and picked up the melody note. She had spent for a whole night to edit it for him since she knew music a lot.

The sun rose again and it was shining through the mirror window to touch the tall man, who was sleeping on the desk. He was waked and opened his eyes again.

“My melody??” he shocked at the moment when he thought that his music hadn’t edited yet.

“They will blame me…”

……………..

“That’s amazing… O.o Jungshin ah… you seemed know what I meant for yesterday.” Yonghwa admired his maknae after he played that edited melody already.

“You are so cool.. Shinie.. You are really talent..” said Minhyuk.

“I remember that last night, I was sleeping.. When was it completed?” Jungshin

……………..

Days later

 

“What are you doing?” Jungshin walked to Eunjung while she was planting a small tree.

“This is Christmas tree, which I told my friend to buy it. I am planting it.” She smiled.

“Christmas tree? Are you sick? It’s September. How come you are planting it for now?”

“You, a stupid guy. It will be growing during Christmas day, if I plant it now.”

“Oh…”

“Do you want to help me?”

“No, sorry.” He said coldly and continued walking passing her. Eunjung stared at his back and smiled alone. He finally noticed her.

“His birthday is coming soon. What should I give him? This stubborn man, it is hard to find a present which would make him happy…” she breathed tiredly and continued doing with her tree again.

It was a day before Jungshin’s birthday in 2014. In that night, Eunjung had prepared a lot of presents for him; especially, Mr. Big Demonstrate’s ticket concert since she knew he was Jungshin’s idol.

“He will like it.. keke…” she kept laughing alone in the room. It seemed she wished his birthday would come soon.

“Why hasn’t he come back home? This is already 11 pm.” Eunjung looked out at the window as she was waiting for him. At least, she decided to call Yonghwa and asked for him.

/He is still in music room../ said Yonghwa.

“Really? Hasn’t he eaten anything yet? Aigoo… this man… how come he misses his health?”

 

Eunjung had made some snacks for him at that night as she went to FNC to see him.  

“Why are you here?” Jungshin felt not good when that boring girl appeared in front of him.

“I know, you haven’t eaten yet. I just made some snacks for you. You can try hard but you shouldn’t do like this..” she opened her rice box while she was talking.

“Take it out..” said he.

“Jungshin…”

“Don’t you hear? Take it out. I don’t need this food…” he pushed it away and it accidently fell down.

“It’s okay… I will make for you later…” Eunjung stared at her food painfully; nerveless, she kept smiling in front of him.

“I said I didn’t need it…”

“Okay fine. Please care your health. Don’t forget cover blanket when you sleep. The weather is colder or you will touch a cold. I am leaving..” she gave him only a happy action and left. She tried to hid her tear and it was finally released as soon as she got out of FNC.

“I’m sorry. I am a useless girl… I am so stupid..” she cried and cried loudly.

…………………….

Even he knew that was too much, but he couldn’t do anything. He didn’t even know how to say sorry. He was born with bad words. He didn’t understand or consider other people, Lee Jungshin of course. After that girl went out, he sat near the messy food tiredly. He stared at it for a while and picked it up.

“This woman… how come she went out till this mid night? I didn’t accept it, because I don’t want you come at this time again.” He took a spoon up and started eating that food. He had spent his whole night in music room. He waked up in the early morning and continued working on with CN Blue. It was a nearly afternoon. Jungshin received a call from Hyomin, Eunjung’s close friend. As soon as, he was told about Eunjung, he directly went out. It was a call from hospital and it was a shock news.

Jungshin didn’t even stop and he just only ran and ran…

 

“Don’t you hear? Take it out. I don’t need this food…”

“It’s okay… I will make for you later…”  

“I said I didn’t need it…”

“Okay fine. Please care your health. Don’t forget cover blanket when you sleep. The weather is colder or you will touch a cold. I am leaving..”

 

“You went to FNC, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did. But Jungshin ah…”

“It’s enough. Don’t mind my business anymore. You really made me embarrass. Did I pass because of a girl?”

 

“You have no chance to do that job.”

“Just study, don’t waste your time..”

“Superstar? Hahaha… It’s so funny. You can’t even sing…”

“I believe you, Lee Jungshin! You can do it. Don’t give up…”

 

“Ham Eunjung… don’t leave.. be alight… don’t go….” He kept murmuring alone while he was running into the hospital. He stopped at ICU in that moment as soon as the bed was sent out to another room.

“Eunjung… why?? Eunjung? Why did you become like this? Ham Eunjung?” Hyomin was sitting near the bad and she was shaking that body again and again.

“Why? It can’t be… She just talked to me last night…  why suddenly..?” Jungshin felt nothing and he could see only a white image. He waved his head for a few times. This was hard to get it.. The girl who had been stayed by his side left him.

“Because of you only, Lee Jungshin. You always hurt her… you are so bad man.” Hyomin came to hit his chest crazy, whereas he didn't even feel hurt.

“Why are you just coming? She did call your name… you are so bad. You are superstar? Is this a value you have? Huh? You were too proud. You made this stupid girl die… You… because of you….”

 

……………………..

2014/ 15^th /September

It was a dark birthday for the tall man who was sitting alone in the living room. The room had been organized and planed for party by that girl, Eunjung. There was a cake and a few snacks on the table, but there was only one person in that house.

“Happy birthday to you…. Happy birthday to you…. To myself…”he went to sit at the place where someone had always sat and he sang a birthday song by himself, before he blew candles. He didn’t even cry and he just kept quiet in that time. He finally noticed at the ticket on the table. It was Mr. Big’s ticket concert which he always wished to attend it.

“This stupid girl…” he breathed tiredly before he opened that ticket. A word which had been written inside the ticket almost cut his breath. The tall man fell it down weakly. His chest was so touched. He really couldn’t calm down at this moment. He really wanted to cry but he couldn’t even let a tear out.

 

 

“Jungshin, can you see this…? I have just learnt Japanese… let me sing for you….”

“………………….”

“Here you are, can you see this kitty? I know you love kitty, so I made it for you…”

“………………….”

“You are so hot, Mr. Untouchable please open the door for me….”

“…………………”

“Hello, I am MC Ham Eunjung, today I am going to introduce a rookie famous idol for you…” the woman jumped on the sofa while she was holding the bottle, but she kept it as microphone. She was talking video by herself happily before she moved the camera to another tall man who was standing near him.

“Come on… let say something to your fans. They are waiting for you…” she gave a bottle to him.

“No, it’s enough. It seems so silly…” he pushed the bottle before he hid camera video.

“Lee Jungshin, tomorrow you will interview in FNC… Yah… your dream is coming soon…” the girl threw the camera to the sofa and she jumped to ride his back. However, the camera kept working and staring at them.

“Hey! Monkey, get off.” He said coldly.

“No, no… hahaha. Who am I to you? Monkey? This is so silly. Yah…” she held his ears tightly.

“Ouch… move… hey…” he waved himself till she fell from his back directly.

 

The tall man replayed the clips in his girl’s camera again and again. Those activities were their memories. Suddenly he awaked what he had wondered before.

 

“Jungshin, come on. Let say something..” she her camera video and took him.

“I really wonder what kind of clips in that camera. You always take and force me to say something stupidly..” he looked away.

“Jungshin, hurry up. Please… let say something to your fans. How did you feel after come back from Japan?”

“Well…” he stared at camera.

“Japanese girls are so y haha…”

“Damn much.. you will die!!!!!!!!”

 

“Is this too much… ? Ham Eunjung, you made me become crazy soon….”

 

-preb- The video clip disappeared and it could be seen the black screen of LCD. The tall man kept looking at the LCD without feeling, even it was nothing there. He was sitting on the sofa in the living room and it seemed like he was waiting for someone’s returning. Suddenly, the phone in the living room was ringing, but he didn’t pick it up. He didn’t even move as he was only holding the photo of a couple. He stared at the photo painfully before the LCD reshowed the clip again. It was the woman who he loved the most in his life. She was smiling to him.

"Hello.... The winter is coming soon and today is your birthday. I know I made you angry yesterday. I'm sorry.. I... " she was holding camera and taking video by herself while she was walking on the road's side. 

"However Jungshin, I hope you will like my gift and we will return good together..."

Waaaaaaaa............... Bang..... sound of crushing with a car.

Suddenly the camera was fallen down on the road with much blood on the camera's mirror.

“Why you did this to me? Ham Eunjung! You are so bad….” He finally cried out, before he threw a cup to the LCD’s screen and then everything turned in a black one. Nobody knew what happened in that moment.

“Eunjung….. I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…………….. Eunjung…………………. Please return… don’t leave me…. Huuuuuuuuuuu…….” He cried and cried. He didn’t know how to stop it. This was the biggest regret in his life, because he didn’t know how to love someone. Who know? What were words in Eunjung’s ticked to Jungshin? If you returned to look back at the ticket which was under the table, you will see those three words….. “I Love You….”

 

The End

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I'm sorry for error grammar. This is all done -_-