7.26.14

BOO! I'm back... for a bit

The atmosphere became colder and Jessica's heart dropped. Her hands began to sweat and tingles ran from her feet through her veins and into her fingertips. Did she hear that right? Her Hyoyeonie became a man? It couldn't be true could it? But then what reason would Taeyeon have to lie? And it wasn't like the latter knew about her relationship with Hyoyeon in the first place.

Jessica closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This isn't how she should be acting. The world didn't revolve around her like how Hyoyeon made it seem in the past. Jessica knew that but it was hard to swallow down such news. She should be acting like the sunbae Taeyeon grew to lean on. It was hard to see that fact but the last of her sanity told her to accept defeat. She needed to accept the fact that Hyoyeon, her best friend and past girlfriend, is no longer hers anymore.

She opened her eyes and looked at Taeyeon with understanding. Jessica can now see that Taeyeon may be what Hyoyeon needs in this life cycle. She may be Hyoyeon's past but maybe Taeyeon could be her future. Taeyeon was everything she wasn't. Jessica was expressive of her concerns when she had any and made it a point to Hyoyeon if she didn't like things. She wasn't afraid to take the lead when needed. Taeyeon on the other hand was laid back and more apathetic. Anything would work for her and she wouldn't bring up something if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Taeyeon was also timid and shy while Jessica was up fourth and striking.

Jessica smiled at her. Taeyeon was cute and there was no denying it. She'd make it her resolve to help Taeyeon.

"So what's the problem?" Jessica held Taeyeon's hand tenderly like a mother.

"I don't mean to sound superficial or shallow knowing your situation but…" Taeyeon trailed on her words and didn't know how to finish them without sounding inconsiderate.

"Now that you know that Hayden is actually Hyoyeon you don't know if you should pursue this because you found out she's actually a girl?" She finished the latter's sentence.

Taeyeon shyly nodded.

"Well you're not being inconsiderate by asking me this. I went through this too but I didn't have someone to talk to about this so I had to figure it out myself." She held Taeyeon's shoulder to make her look up and she did. "I know exactly how you feel."

"So you don't feel… insulted?" Taeyeon cautiously asked.

"Exactly opposite." Jessica assured. "I feel honored."

"So what do you suggest I do?" The younger girl sighed.

"Ignore what your mind says. What does your heart feel, Taeyeon?"

Taeyeon took a moment to reflect. "I feel… loved. I feel… important, like I have a purpose to my life."

"But you don't know if it's right, right?"

Taeyeon nodded. "I've grown up with the notion that I'll marry a man and have kids."

"Well, I hate to burst your bubble but you're dead." Jessica said as a matter of fact.

"I don't get it." She looked at her in confusion.

"You're afraid of what people will say about you… aren’t you?" She asked Taeyeon the question she asked herself so many times years ago.

"Mhm. Will they think I'm a freak?" She spoke her biggest concern.

"We're all dead here. Everyone has died without doing things they wished they had done. Believe it or not but most of the people around here could give a damn. They all have things they're doing now that they haven't done when they were alive because they never took the chance to when they could. We're all making up for lost time while fulfilling our tasks." She advised. "Have you ever asked Hyoyeon why she became a man during your assignment? I'm sure that's one of the things she wished she was able to do. Knowing her, she never does things that extreme without reason."

"What about you? What are some the things you're doing now that you didn't do when you were alive?" Taeyeon asked in curiosity.

"Me? Well since the people of the afterlife don't need sleep, I'm making my day worthwhile. I'm trying new things that I would have never done when I was alive because I was too lazy."

Jessica reached for both of Taeyeon's hands and held them dearly. "Listen to your heart. It's cliché but it's true. Have you ever thought that you fell in love with Hyoyeon's personality and gender doesn't matter? Yes, being a man has its ups but it shouldn't be all you look at right?"

Jessica spoke words of wisdom. The feelings and thoughts inside Taeyeon's mind clicked at that instant. Jessica was right. It wasn't the muscles and the manly scent that she fell for, it was the warm presence and the calming aura Hyoyeon had that she went head over heels for. It was the sense of security she felt every time Hyoyeon was around her. Yes, those insanely alluring abs and y pecs as a man were definitely easy on her eyes but it wasn't everything and maybe Hyoyeon would have some of that as a girl. She was in love with Hyoyeon, the person that changed her, the girl who shined light into her endless black hole and gave her hope for better days.

Taeyeon swung her arms around Jessica and gave her the biggest embrace she could give. "Thank you, unnie."

"Go get her, Tae. Make sure she's happy. If not, you'll get it from me."

It was bittersweet for her as she watched Taeyeon run out of her room. Hyoyeon has someone other than herself, who loves her as much as she does. If she couldn't take that spot beside Hyoyeon, Taeyeon would be next best. Seeing Taeyeon this happy only made her reminisce about the day Hyoyeon made a fool out of herself. It was a day she'd never forget.

The sun rose and illuminated the princess' room with a warm orange and a fluttering yellow. The girl squeaked under the blankets she just pulled above her head. Hyoyeon had cast aside the curtains again. She huffed and flung the covers off of her. She wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again with the light blinding her and the enticing smell of brunch coming from the kitchen.

A few minutes after freshening up, she descended down the stairs to see Hyoyeon with her signature back figure and she smiled. The girl had her brown locks in a loose ponytail at her neck and an apron around her slim frame. It was just as she took a seat at the kitchen counter when she remembered Hyoyeon's confession in the rain. Another smile dancing across her lips.

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