-"Sooyoungie"

I heard her call, this girl...why is she different from any of the people I've met? Why do I feel I'm missing something?
I can't find the answer no matter what I think , the thing seems to be something I refuse to feel...and that is love.
You know... I don't wanna love Tiffany, Because she's too beautiful for me and people who are too beautiful, they just disappear.
It's now that I realize it, how beautiful a person she is and therefore, how far away she is from me. She'll disappear someday too, like people do when they're too beautiful. That's why I don't wanna love her but also don't wanna let her go. Love...is for me. Unknown territory and whoever ventures out into the uknown must consent to venture alone.

-"Tiffany" I said as I looked at her.

-"Sooyoungie, how are you today?" Tiffany said smiling.

-"..." I can't answer her, I can't tell her I didn't sleep again because of her. That my nights are haunted by thoughts of her. You see.
Someday Tiffany will forget about me...
...My name.
...My voice.
Who I am...

-"Tiffany...go away" Every day is the same. She comes with all her good mood and I just break her heart, again and again. I wish I didn't but I'm not sure of what I feel. This is better...at least I'm not giving her any expectations, It's better if she just hates me.

-"Sooyoungie...I know you don't mean that" She said flashing her beautiful eye smiles at me.

-"Tiffany..." I wish the words could easily come out of my mouth but they can't.

We went to class. School pfft... Always so boring, I'm a lazy person but I always get A's. I'm intelligent but lazy nevertheless.
The next 20 minutes of my life will be of thinking again...like I do everyday in every class. Always so monochromatic. 
I looked at Tiffany across the room, she's also bored. Coming from the U.S she already knows all this. She looked at me and smiled. I always feel there's something she isn't telling me but I can't guess or even start to think what that is.
Sometimes I think about the future. My future, her future. I mean, I know Tiffany's life can go on without me, that she can be happy without me, that she can survive without me. But if I told her how I feel and she turned me away.
I would still choose to stay with her and be her sweetest stranger...Forever.

-"Sooyoung" I looked to the side and saw Yuri.

-"Sooyoung...she did it again" Said Yuri with tears in her eyes.

I already understand what has happened. Another strike by the Ice Princess. I guess she doesn't realize that she knows somebody and they maybe crying for you. That they stay awake at night and dream of you.
I bet she'll never know they do, but somebody out there is crying for you.

It was break time so I took Yuri to the school rooftop.

-"Yuri. Why do you do this to yourself?" I asked.

-"I love her Sooyoung...That's why" Yuri said as she cleaned her tears.

-"But this love is destroying you...What did you do this time?" I asked her.

-"I gave her a handmade lunch" Yuri said as she looked down.

-"And what happened?" 

-"She throwed it on the floor and called it trash..." Said Yuri letting out some more tears. I hugged her and put her head on my shoulder.
It hurts me to see my friend like this. Does Tiffany feel like this...with Jessica? Does she cry everytime I'm bad to her?
Yuri really has a saint's patience. For me it's simple, once you walk out of my life, the door locks behind you. No hard feelings.

-"Why Yuri? Loving her isn't enough reason for you to be hurt like this"

-"Sooyoung, you don't understand" Yuri said.

Or maybe I do my sweet friend...

We both went to our classes. Now it's time for History class. I don't even know or quite understand what I'm doing in school.
It's such a bother. Suddenly a paper plane is thrown at me. I looked arround but everyone was concentrating on the teacher. Where the hell did this come from?

*Unfold* That was the only word that came written.
I unfolded the paper plane.

*Don't screw up the best thing that ever happened to you just because you're a little unsure about who you are*

I immediatly looked at Tiffany but she like all the others was looking and paying attention to class.
Who the hell did this? Who sent me this?

Before I even noticed, it was already lunch time. I do the same thing every day. I go to the cafeteria where Sunny and her gang now my minions give me the best lunch they can get and then I go to the rooftop.
I sit there and I eat alone looking at the city skyline. Someone came through the door.

-"Sooyoungie"  

Why Tiffany? Why? 

-"Yes?"

-"I want you to come with me after class is over"

I looked deep into Tiffany's eyes. She's determined. But still...

-"No"

-"Why?"

-"No"

Tiffany looked at me with rage in her eyes. 

-"Sooyoung. I truly pity the likes of you...closing yourself in your own little world you will never be able to truly enjoy life and that's a pity cause you'll realize you just haven't lived enough" She said as she let out a tear.

I was shocked...

-"I love you...even if you don't love me back. I love you more than you love yourself" Tiffany said to me, crying.

Why? Why did I make her cry?

For the rest of the day Tiffany didn't utter a single word to me...this is all my fault. Because I'm too afraid of getting hurt, I ended up hurting the girl I love. I went home, I didn't have dinner my appetite was gone. I laid on my bed and looked at the ceiling.

Someone, Somewhere is just dreaming for a love like Tiffany's love for me...someone in a cold dark place with nothing to live for is hoping for something that would even resemble that love. I couldn't but other peole should think carefully about what they do with such a love.
Cause it's not theirs alone...