Title : Speak Your Mind

Genre : Fluff

Rating : PG

Summary : Opposites attract . . right? Myungsoo's story of his love for someone completely different from him.

I was never really one to socialize with others. Sure, I had a close group of friends that I hang out with, but I didn't have as many friends as she did. This 'she' is a young girl who has become all I've ever wanted and all I've ever thought about every single waking moment of my life since the day we first started talking. We were complete opposites. I was quiet, reserved, and judgmental. She was nothing close to any of those. She was bright, always happy, friendly to everyone, and lived life as if she were to die tomorrow. I didn't realize it at first, but I looked up to her. She had such a wonderful life because of the way she carried herself. To think, if I was like her, I could have gone so far with that personality; however, God doesn't just give you a personality and expect you to like it. Our love was complicated at first, but I'm glad that what happened brought us back together.

We first met on a blogging website. My friend promoted her, saying she deserved more followers, and being the bored person I was at the moment, I decided to check out her blog. From what her description said, she lived in Seoul, was sixteen years old, was five feet three inches, and was a huge fan of K-Pop. I became a follower of her blog because I liked the things she posted. I'm not gonna lie, she was drop dead gorgeous, but I wasn't gonna be a creep and message her or anything; oh God no. The last thing I wanted was to have her think I was hitting on her. The day after I became a follower of her blog, she followed me back and sent me a message. "Thanks for following me! ^ ^" was the message she sent. "No problem; thanks for the follow back!" I sent back. I don't really know what happened after that, but we started talking. We talked about so many things, I can't even remember. All I knew was that we had some things in common despite our clash on personalities. After messaging each other constantly for about a few days, she gave me her number and said it would be a lot easier to talk to me if we texted. From then, we texted 24 / 7; we stayed up all night just texting each other.

We flirted nonstop; something I would probably never do in person. I don't know what our relationship was like at that point. We had matching phone wallpapers; my phone wallpaper was her picture, and my picture was hers. We called each other 'jagiya' and 'yeobo'. There came a time where she suggested we meet up and hang out, which I was sort of nervous about. What if she saw how I was really like and didn't want to talk to me anymore? Nonetheless, I went with her suggestion mostly because I was dying to see how she was like in person. If I liked talking to her through text, maybe she was better in person. We talked it out and set up to meet at a nearby shopping center that weekend. I could not stop thinking about it, mostly because I was nervous. I had probably changed outfits a million times that day of our meeting. That day, I was a bit lost because I have never been to that shopping plaza. She texted me directions, but she ended up finding me herself. The moment I looked at her, I wish I could have just bailed and stayed at home with my food and my laptop. The amount of nervousness I had was too overwhelming. She was so beautiful; and that smile of hers pretty much melted my heart. She apologized for making me run around trying to find her, and I told her everything was fine; nothing could be helped. I want to say that our meeting was a great one, but truthfully, it wasn't. We didn't talk much, and when we did talk, it was mostly on her part. Despite that, we talked about many things and we got to know each other a little more than we already did.

"Oppa, isn't this cute? It looks like you!" She giggled as she held up a dog keychain next to my head. "Yah, is that an insult?!" I said, "this thing looks like you, if you look closely." I held up a cat keychain to her head. We looked like total children, but I didn't care. She giggled and took the cat keychain from me. "I'll buy these then. We can have matching keychains," she chuckled, giving me a smile before she walked over to the cash register. When it came time for me to drop her off at her house, she hung the cat keychain onto my rearview mirror. "There! So you'll think of me whenever you drive! Which is like, all the time, right?" she laughed, her smile lingering in my mind. I just laughed and nodded. Before I knew it, we arrived at her house, and we just hugged and said our goodbyes as I watched her leave. I just rested my head on the wheel and sighed deeply. Why did I have to be so different? Why can't I just be like those guys with extremely high confidence? I drove home feeling upset with myself. When I got home, I texted her back, and we talked as if nothing ever happened. It comforted me and cheered me up in a way; at least she didn't want to stop talking to me, right?

Weeks had gone by, and as always, there was a never a day where we wouldn't text each other. Well, until she got a boyfriend. His name was Jongin I think; I don't know, I don't really pay attention to things that aren't important to me, you know? We would still text normally, but there was a time when she slowly started replying later than usual, and then it progressed to not even replying for days. I see her updating regularly on her blog, so I felt kind of sad that she would still go on her blog but not take the time to reply to my texts. I eventually gave up on my part; if she didn't want to talk to me, why should I put effort in getting her to talk to me? It bothered me a lot, not talking to her. Texting her became a part of my daily routine, and that small change had a big impact on me. I wouldn't talk to my friends during lunch, and I wouldn't tell my roommate what was up. I didn't want to tell anyone the story of how my hopes were let down. Months had gone by without talking to her, and I still wasn't used to it. A friend of hers by the name of Woohyun began following my blog, and I began talking to him. We became good friends, and I even asked him for a favor; to ask her why she stopped talking to me. He told me she didn't like shy people. I beat myself up over it; I was mad at myself for acting like such a bashful school boy in front of her.

After I mentally scolded myself, I realized that she wasn't who I really thought she was. She seemed like the person that would give anyone a chance; I guess I didn't realize how wrong you can be about a person. It wasn't easy getting over it, because as hurt as I was about it, I had to learn from it. I realized I needed to block her out of my life if I was going to get over her. I didn't realize that I was completely and madly in love with her. Sounds foolish, doesn't it? To fall in love with someone you've only met once, but talked to for God knows how long. I unfollowed her blog; the pictures of her kissing her boyfriend and long descriptions of how happy he made her was not going to help my case at all. I deleted her number, even though I unknowingly memorized it. I was happy that I was making progress. I didn't need her, and I was going to show her that.

A few months passed. I thought about her from time to time, but not as often as before. I began talking to more people, and I wasn't as awkward as I was the months before. I made a lot of new friends, and met new people all the time. The experience changed me a lot, but I wasn't sure if it was worth losing her. One afternoon, Woohyun invited me to his school's choir concert, saying he wanted to catch up and see how I was doing. I accepted, only because Woohyun became one of my closest friends, and I wanted to catch up with him. While we were sitting in the auditorium, we updated each other about things that have been happening to both of us. "You know Hyunjee broke up with Jongin a few days ago?" Woohyun asked, looking up at me. I widened my eyes and gave him a questioning look. "They fought often, and Jongin was tired of it. He ended up cheating on her with one of the choir girls. He tried apologizing, but she wanted out of the relationship." My blood began to boil. How could someone do something like that to her? She wouldn't have to go through any of that if I was her boyfriend. "That's . . horrible," I whispered, looking away from Woohyun. Before he could say anything, the lights turned off, and the concert was about to begin. A few songs were sung by the high school students. It wasn't boring, but Woohyun should have invited me to dinner or something. I instantly became interested once I saw Hyunjee up on the stage by herself, with the spotlight shining down on her. She sang Ailee's 'Heaven' completely beautifully. I remember her telling me she loved singing, and that was what she loved the most. After her solo, there was an intermission. "You know she lied to me about why she stopped talking to you?" Woohyun said, breaking the silence between us. "Wait, what? Why?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. "She was frustrated that you weren't making a move on her or anything. She thought you weren't interested and her and was playing her. I told her you couldn't have done it, but she refused to listen to what I had to say. She cried," Woohyun responded, looking down at his hands, and then back up at me, "you should tell her how it really was on your part."

After the concert was over, everyone that was in the choir concert was socializing with their friends and family from the audience, and I followed Woohyun in the hopes of finding Hyunjee. "Oppa! Thanks for coming! I really appreciate it!" Hyunjee exclaimed, hugging Woohyun tightly. "No problem, I wanted to see my little shining star!" Woohyun chuckled, patting Hyunjee's head. It looked like she was going to say something, but she stopped herself when she glanced towards a couple. I looked her direction, and a boy was hugging a girl, laughing along with her. I looked back at Hyunjee, and she looked down. "But um, anyway, I should get backstage. There's some things I need to put back in the choir room, so I'll see you later," Hyunjee smiled weakly at Woohyun and was about to walk away, but Woohyun grabbed her hand. "I need to use the restroom, so I'll wait for you in the parking lot when you're done so I can drop you off at home," Woohyun said, "but before you leave, you need to talk to him." Woohyun pointed at me, and then hastily made his way out of the auditorium.

I knew she didn't notice me standing there before, because I was behind her. Once she turned around, she widened her eyes and gasped. "M-Myungsoo? I never thought I'd see you again," she laughed nervously, turning red as she looked down at the floor. "I needed to tell you something," I said, stepping closer to her. She was blushing so much, and I could tell she avoided my eyes to keep her from turning any redder than she already was. "Hyunjee, look at me," I said, tapping her chin. She slowly raised her head up and looked at me straight in the eyes and blinked innocently, waiting for me to speak. "I love you," I said, smiling warmly. She blinked a few more times, and opened to say something, but nothing came out. So instead of waiting for her to comprehend what she had to say, I kissed her. When I pulled away, I chuckled at her reaction. She was completely shocked. "Next time, tell me you love me before you go off and decide to not talk to me; I would have been happy just knowing the person I love loves me back," I winked, kissing her once more.