"jongie.." sungjong hear a voice calling him and he felt someone was tapping his arm..

his slowly opened his eyes and saw that it was howon..

"oh hyung...you're here..." sungjong said as he sat himself up..

"i just arrived..sorry i was late" howon smiled but his smile quickly faded when he noticed sungjong's puffy eyes "you cried yourself to sleep huh"

sungjong looked away but he knew after all these years, he can't hide anything to howon

"i saw them..and i don't know why but it still hurts me everytime..." the younger sighed..

Howon sighed "come, you want to stay in my apartment for now?" Howon asked

"but hyung..won't you get in trouble with fans and stuff?" Sungjong asked

"no.. it's ok..plus if they ask who you are i'll just tell them you're my boyfriend" howon said half jokingly, how he wished that was true

"hyung..stop joking" sungjong began to smile "ok, i'm going to  stay with you..."

after packing some clothes into a back pack the two went out to tell sungyeol

"hyung..i'm ..i'm going to go sleepover at howon hyung's..is that ok?" Sungjong asked his brother who was laying on the sofa his head on myungsoo's lap

"why? i'm leaving in a few days you should stay with me" Sungyeol said pouting

meanwhile myungsoo didn't like the idea of sungjong and howon together, he felt jealous maybe? though he shrugged that thought away but he was secretly hoping sungyeol would convice the younger to stay

"i..i want to spend time with my bestfriend..plus you and myungsoo hyung will have t-time..a-alone.." sungjong said, those words a little bit bitter in his mouth

"don't worry yeol..i'll take care of him and i will bring him back tomorrow " Howon grinned as he put his arms around sungjong's shoulder

myungsoo didn't like that one bit...

"fine..i know you both missed eachother like how myungsoo and i miss eachother..don't forget your meds sungjong ok? and eat" Sungyeol said as he went to hug his brother

"o-ok hyung..see you tomorrow..bye myungsoo hyung" sungjong said and the other just nodded without even looking at the younger

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"come in jongie..welcome to my home" Howon smiled as they entered the apartment

Sungjong was amazed at how nice the place was, all purple and white..

"your apartment is nice hyung" sungjong smiled at the older one

Howon lead sungjong to his room where they would share since there is only one room and sungjong didn't mind since they had sleepovers when they were young anyway

"make yourself comfy, i'll see what we have in the kitchen" Howon said and went out

Sungjong was looking around.. he saw that Howon was still a clean freak but it didn't go unnotice how howon's wardrobe is still mostly purple, sungjong chuckled at that... 

he walked over to the table by the widow, it has howon's laptop in it, he accidently brushed on the mouse beside it and it lit up revealing howon's wallpaper which is a collage of all their pictures together since they were young sungjong smiled

he also noticed the picture frames on the table..one of howon's family..one with the lee brothers, howon and myungsoo..and one of sungjong alone smiling...

the two had dinner after howon decided to just order out since his fridge was pretty much empty except  for bottles of water and an apple

after which they decided to go out for a walk at a nearby park, it was already almost midnight so ther e won't be a lot of people and Howon can just be Howon instead of hoya

"waaaaaaaaaa.. feels nice to walk without worrying that someone would see me" howon stretched his arm

"must be hard being korea's top star haha" Sungjong teased

they walked around some more till the younger felt tired, they settled on a bench and watched the stars

"Sungjong ah..are you sure you want to stay with myungsoo? you know you can just stay with me if sungyeol's problem is someone who will take care of you..i can find an apartment with an additional room" howon asked

"yeah..it's ok hyung.." sungjong answered

"but you were crying again..."

"i know.."

"so won't it hurt you that you are that close to him but you know he is your brothers?"

"this is the closest i can get to him...so i'm taking my chances..even if i only get to at least live under the same house or eat the same food as him"

"sungjong ah.."

"i love him so much.."

"why can't you just love me instead?"

Sungjong was shocked at what howon said..he looked at the older on...

"hyung..."

"i love you jong..i have been inlove with you.. longer than you being inlove with myungsoo.."

"i'm sorry hyung..."

"i wanted to confess but all you talked about is myungsoo..i'm so tired of watching you get hurt and cry over him...i hurt everytime sungjong ah.."

"but i love him.."

"sungjong ah..love me instead..." howon said before he pulled sungjong for a kiss...

sungjong closed his eyes and a tear  dropped from his eye

with that kiss Howon realized that sungjong will never love him... that sungjong's love for myungsoo is too great

he broke off the kiss...and looked into the younger's eyes... and he pulled him for a hug..

"mianhae hyung..." sungjong began to cry "i'm sorry i couldn't love you instead..."

Howon tightened his hug..his tears freely flowing... "just let me continue to love you...even from afar..."