the doctor came out of sungjong's room and howon immidiately went to him.

"how is he doc?" Howon asked

"well he flatlined.." with this all their  eyes widened and they aassumed the worst "but luckily we revived him.. his heart is very weak already and even if he is on the list at the moment, it's not a guarantee that sungjong will be able to wait for the right donor to come.. now if you will excuse me i have another patient to attned to"

the doctors and nurses left sungjong's room and the three were back in it...

myungsoo was swaying his arms as he watched his baby sleep..sungyeol was at his brother's side and was rubbing the younger's arms..

"howon..you should go home for now..i'll stay with sungjong...the baby shouldn't stay in the hospital for a long time too, he can get sick here.." Jaejoong told his employer

"yeol..myung.. jaejoong hyung is right.. let's go home for now..you need to rest and change too..." howon said..

sungyeol was a bit hesitant since he hadn't seen his brother for a while but stilll went home with them..

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at Howon's home in jeju..

"you can go place the baby down in sungjong's room... everything has been ready for seung jun.." howon said as he himself went to his room to make some calls..

 myungsoo and sungyeol went into sungjong's room..

as they walked in they saw all the baby things sungjong had made and bought...

myungsoo placed the baby in the crib and walked around the room...

Sungyeol sat on the rocking chair by the window... he saw the basket with sungjong's knitting tools... a little red sweater was on the works...

sungyeol took it and placed on his lap and started to continue knitting the little sweater in silence and soon his tears were falling...

how he regreted chasing his brother away... how he regreted not being there for him all through his pregnancy....

that was myungsoo's sentiments also... he laid on the bed and smelled the pillow... it was how he remembers sungjong's smell.. it smelled like lemons...

myungsoo noticed a yellow box on the bedside table... he wiped his teary eyes and sat himself up and took the box opening it... in there there were two letters.. one addressed to sungyeol and the other to myungsoo...

myungsoo hande the letter to sungyeol.. the older one began to read ..

Dear Hyung,

first off, i want to say that i am really sorry for everything,

you did nothing but be a good brother to me and all i did was be selfish and betray you...

it's my fault that i did not stop myself from doing all those things, please don't blame myungsoo anymore...

i'm really sorry hyung...

thank you for all the years that you took care of me...

no one has ever loved me more than you did and i feel like i'm the luckiest younger brother in the world..

hyung... i know i have lost all rights but i have one last favor...

if ever i don't make it and you finally meet your niece or nephew...

please take care of him or her...

i love you hyung...

-sungjong

Sungyeol began to quietly cry again as he clutched the letter to hiss chest..

myungsoo was also reading his letter.. his tears were flowing too

Dear Myungsoo hyung,

if you are reading this now, i probably am dead already... or close to it.

Mianhae... i'm sorry for causing trouble to you and sungyeol hyung..

i should have stopped myself from making our biggest mistake...

but i can't really say i regret it fully because i probably wouldn't have our baby here....

.hyung,  i'm going to ask you one last favor...

take care of our baby...

please love him or her..

please let him or her know that i love him or her so much too...

take care of my hyung too... i know he loves you very much...

i love you hyung... i'm sorry...

-sungjong

myungsoo folded the letter and put it back in the box, his heart ached so much..

a soft cry was heard from the crib and sungyeol got up and carried the baby and started to sing a lullaby...

the baby soon stopped crying.. after all it was the lullaby that his mommy sang while he was still in sungjong's tummy...

sungyeol put the little baby down gently..

myungsoo was looking at them..

"it was sungjong's favorite lullaby when he was little... he only would sleep when we sing him this song.." sungyeol said wiping another tear...

Howon came in the room a little bit later

"here i have some clothes for you... myung here's the keys to the other car, use that to go to sungjong later, i need to go first, i might have to head back to Seoul in a day or two..." Hoya said..

Sungyeol went to hug him "thank you for taking care of sungjong... " 

Howon hugged him back too...

"thank you...i know how much you loved him..thank you for everything..for taking care of him and our baby..." myungsoo also gave him a hug

Howon smiled sweetly.. "when he wakes up..make sure to take care of him well..."

Howon hugged them again... "thank you for all those years of friendship..."

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"Howon ah.. are you sure about this?" Jaejoong asked the younger

"yes i am hyung..please don't tell anyone... thank you for taking care of sungjong...." Howon hugged jaejoong... 

Howon walked over to sungjong and kissed his forehead... "i love you" he whispered...

"goodbye hyung..." Howon smiled and jaejoong couldn't help but hug the younger one..

--------------------------------

"where's Howon ?" sungyeol asked as he, myungsoo and the baby came into sungjogn's room

"he just left.. he said he neeeded to go back to Seoul right away..." Jaejoong said, his tone was sad

"hi little brother... look who's here... don't worry i'll take care of you from now on...i'm not leaving you anymore.. plus you have to wake up and get better.. myung needs you ..Seung Jun needs you too..so wake up so we can all be happy together ok?" Sungyeol said as he put the flowers on the table beside sung jong

"Sung Jong ah..look at our little baby... he looks just like you...well except for the lips..definitely mine ..wake up soon so we can be a family ...." myungsoo gently put a kiss on sungjong's lips..

Jaejoong can't help but smile... "you should wake up now little sungjong.. your wish came true... your hyung already forgave you..and Myungsoo is here for you" he said to sungjong in his thoughts..

little Seung Jun cried and myungsoo hummed the lullaby he heard from sungyeol the other night..and right away the baby cried...

"that's the lullaby sungjong always sang at night for little baby...." Jaejoong said

"they really are so alike then..." Sungyeol smiled at his brother 

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Howon was in his car driving away from the hospital... he stopped by the sea side and was just staring at it..

he took out his phone and smiled at his wallpaper...

then tears began to fall...

"be happy for me, my love..." he whispered...

after a while he got into his car and drove away...

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hours later the doctor came in..

"we have a heart for sungjong... but we have to do the surgery now since the donor just passed away..please sign this " he handed some papers to sungyeol since their parents are not there at the moment and sungyeol was the closest relative

"thanks" the doctor was about to go when myugnsoo stopped him

"who's the donor? can we meet his family after to say thank you?" myungsoo asked

the doctor looked at jaejoong and the other shook only looked away "you will find soon..i need to hurry now..."

soon Sungjong was being wheeled into the Surgery room...

Jaejoong, myungsoo with the baby and Sungyeol stayed in the waiting room near the OR...

Jaejoong was holding the baby in his arms and was feeding him while myungsoo rested...

Sungyeol turned the TV on.. and was shocked at the headlines...

Hallyu star Hoya got into an Accident in Jeju and was declaired dead on the spot,

there is no other car involved and the police are suspecting mechanical malfunction.

His body was brought to JeJu National University Hospital.

This is a sad day for Korea who has lost one of the most loved celebrity of his generation

Sungyeol's tears fell.. their friend was gone...

Myungsoo got up from his seat in shock also...

"why now? this is supposed to be a happy day since Sungjong finally has a donor..." myungsoo whispered

then they noticed Jaejoong was crying quietly... he handed the baby back to myungsoo and walked to his bag...

he took out a blue envelope and handed it to sungyeol....

Sungyeol opened it with trembling hands... he began to read to them..

if you are reading this, it probably has happened already..

i'm sorry to leave you guys like this but it's the only thing i can do for sungjong...

thank you for being my family all these years since i have lost my parents when we were in high school...

Sungyeol...i'm sorry for keeping sungjong's secret from you too, hopefully this makes up for it...

Myungsoo... please take care of Sungjong and Seung Jun... Love them with all your heart..

even if i was jealous of you, you were still my friend..

Little Junie... i'm sorry i'm such a lousy godfather that we didn't even have the chance to meet..

SungJong ah... thank you for beign the bestest best friend anyone could ever have..

I will always love you, even from afar... even if i'm in heaven,

i will watch over you...forever...

I love you guys...

see you on our next lives...

-Howon

the three were all crying.. especially Sungyeol and myungsoo who was hugging his baby...

Jaejoong wiped his tears " Howon said it's his ultimate sacrifice... his sacrifice for the one he loves...."

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A/N: i'm sorry for those who loves HOWON/HOYA :(