Chae Won

The soft light pierced through the door woke me from my deep slumber. It has been a while since I was able to experience such peaceful sleep.  I opened my eyes and wandered my sight to the spacious room. This is where it happened. And with that the memories from last night came rushing through my mind. I cannot help but blush and sheepishly smile. The kisses, caresses and words of affection that we exchanged made my heart pound a million times faster. No wonder people find pleasure in it, because it is not only a satisfaction of physical desires, but more so an expression of their utmost love, trust and dedication to each other.

I already missed Joong Ki’s warm skin against mine, and so I reached out for him, but to my horror he was not there. I quickly rose from my laying position and found myself wearing my sok ot. Was it just a dream? It cannot be. I can still feel the traces of his kisses on my skin, and the undeniable soreness of my limbs. I was about to find him outside when I heard the door creak open, and relief flooded me as I saw Joong Ki enter. In a swift I was already up and clinging to him.

“I thought you were gone. I thought you left me. I thought last night was only a dream.” Unexpected sobs escaped my lips. His hold on me became tighter and I felt his lips kiss my hair.

“I apologize for not being there when you woke up, Chae Won. I needed to appear before the other gungnyeos, otherwise they would be suspicious about my whereabouts last night. Please do not be sad, my love.” His deep manly voice whispered against my ear. His term of endearment sent shivers down to my spine, not that I am complaining though. I love every piece of him.

“In case you doubted about last night, look behind you.” When I did, I was surprised to see the evidence of my purity on the futon’s white linen. Patches of scarlet served as proof that I gave myself to Joong Ki the previous night.

I turned to meet his loving gaze, he was wearing a handsome smile despite his female appearance. I could see joy, pride and love on his face; I could not help but return the smile. “Thank you for taking care of me, Joong Ki-sshi”. I guess calling him as my older brother or “oppa” is inappropriate now, given the intimacy that we have shared. He gathered me once again in a warm embrace, “Anything for you, Chae Won-sshi.”

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Joong Ki

Bliss is an understatement to what I am currently feeling. Chae Won is indeed mine, and I hers. I would do anything just to live in this feeling forever, but reality is nevertheless telling us that we cannot bask in this happiness for long. Soon enough we have to face the demons of our current predicament. Chae won may have given herself to me first, but later on she also has to give herself to the king in order to fulfill her duty as a hugung.  I just cannot bear the thought for the moment.

I was fortunate to sneak into our room before any of the other gungnyeos woke up. I hated to leave Chae Won alone in her room, especially in her vulnerable state, but we cannot afford to be caught.

I can feel Chae Won’s warm breath on the crook of my neck, her heart steadily beating against mine. I wanted to bask myself into this moment, with her being so close and clinging on to me as if I am her life line. But being aware of our current roles in the palace, I slowly untangled myself from her. Retrieving her discarded sok ot from the floor, I carefully wore it back to her. Chae Won seemed to be in a deep because she did not even flinch when I left her side. I took a final look at her form before retreating the room, my beloved Chae Won. I admire her more for her being strong amidst the complications of our relationship. I always dreamed of being her husband, and the father of her children. I sighed at the thought, I need to do something for this dream to be true.

I walked pass through the dark halls of the castle and slowly opened the door to our room. I settled myself under the covers of my futon when I heard, “Where have you been, oppa?”. My eyes widened in shock, and when I turned my head to my side, I saw Hyo Joo thrashing around, and to my relief, it seemed like she was talking in her sleep. I ignored her and turned to my side, I became a paranoid ever since I entered this palace.

---

I was disrupted from my reverie when Chae Won caught my attention. “Joong Ki-sshi, what are you thinking?” I weakly smiled at her and her silky hair, “Nothing Chae Won-sshi. Please excuse me, I have to prepare your bath.” I placed a chaste kiss on her forehead before leaving the room.

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Chae Won

I can feel my body relax as I submerged myself into the warm water that Joong Ki prepared for me. The aroma of jasmine was all over the room as the petals floated on the water. I lifted my hand to play with the jasmine petals, as I looked closer onto its white petals I realize the purity it symbolizes. But, unlike these flowers, I am no longer pure. I willingly gave it to Joong Ki, and I do not regret every single thing that occurred the previous night.

I gently traced the area on the my neck as if reminiscing the trail where Joong Ki’s lips touched my skin. I then feel a strange knot of my stomach.  It’s as if this can only be addressed if I will be Joong Ki again. I swallowed hard just to disrupt my lustful thoughts, and suddenly I heard the door creak open.

“Chae Won-sshi, I brought a sok ot for you to wear after the bath.” Joong Ki’s said in a low tone.

“Can you bring it here please?” I was surprised at what I just said. Am I planning to seduce him?

But I did not hear him respond, and so I cleared my throat, “Jeul Ki, your lady is ordering you to bring her sok ot” I tried to sound demanding.

Slowly I can hear his footsteps walking towards me. “Here it is, my lady” he said in a rather hoarse tone, as if keeping his real emotion.

In a matter of seconds I rose from the water, and he draped the sok ot over my body. His warm breath over my neck sent chills over my spine, and increased the knot in my center. He assisted me from the water, and when I lifted my face to him he was not looking at my direction.

“Joong Ki-sshi, look at me.” But his eyes still averted my sight. He fixed the ribbon of my sok ot and suddenly left towards the door. To my bewilderment, I hurried my pace to catch up with him. I was able to wrap my arms around his waist, stopping him from opening the door.

“Joong Ki-sshi. Tell me what is bothering you.” I whispered as I buried my face on his back. I could feel his body tense. I tightened my grip around his waist, and slowly I could feel him relax.

He turned to face me, and I could see the sadness on his face. Without a word, my hands found its way on his cheeks and I crashed my lips on his. I did not know where the courage came from, but I tried to express my need for him through the kiss. After a while he returned my kiss, and his hands gripped my sides. I then knew that we both wanted this to happen again, for our love to envelop us from the cruel situation that we were in. But after moments of exchanges kisses and caresses, he distanced his body from me.

“Chae Won-sshi, we cannot. Not now. We cannot afford to be caught.” I wanted to stop him from saying such things, to just kiss him and hopefully change his mind. But I knew that he was right, this is not the right time and place.

With a sigh I withdrew my hands from his body, fixed my sok ot and left the room leaving Joong Ki behind.

---

Joong Ki

Ever since that incident Chae Won has not been talking to me aside from the normal orders she gives as her gungnyeo. She remained aloof for the rest of the day. I wanted to discuss this matter with her, but with Jin Kyung and the other gungnyeos, it was impossible to do so.

I have not heard anything from the king either. I know he must be disappointed with what happened the previous night. But when I was walking along the hallway that evening I chanced upon Muban Kwang Soo with his fellow soldiers. He seemed surprised to see me, and I courteously acknowledged him.

“A pleasant evening” I softly said with my fake tone.

“Ah, ah, same to you gungnyeo Jeul Ki-sshi, you seemed to have had a long day. Please retire for the night.” He stuttered while speaking to me, this man is definitely attracted to me. I feel pity for him, if he just knew my true identity.

“Thank you Muban, if I may please excuse myself. I will go my way.” I bowed and resumed walking. I was only a few steps away when I heard them talking about an outrage happening in one of the villages. Bandits from the neighboring kingdom brought chaos to the place and they are planning on attacking the palace. The kind must be very concerned about this issue.

True enough, the following day the king fled to join the army. His return to the palace is yet unknown. He bid farewell to his hugungs including Chae Won. I noticed that he laid his eyes more on her than with the other hugungs, giving me the impression that he is very fond of my Chae Won.

“Please be careful with your journey Jusang Sang Wook.” Chae Won bowed before him.

“I will. And when I return, we have to settle some important matters.” He said. I gulped upon hearing this as I perfectly knew what he meant. I turned my eyes on Chae Won and she managed to keep her composure. My beloved strong Chae Won, how can I not love you?

---

Chae Won

A few days have passed since the king left the war, and I was still feeling aloof with Joong Ki. We have not had the chance to be alone because Jin Kyung was always with us to provide me with lessons.  I can sense that he was also bothered with our unsettled issue, but maybe pride was also getting the better of me. I felt guilty and selfish at the same time, it’s like I created a cold war with Joong Ki just because I was not able to get what I want. I must put down my barriers and apologize for my childish attitude, but when and how?

One evening I was alone in my room combing my hair before retiring to bed. The sounds of crickets filled the room until the door shut open. To my shock it was Joong Ki. I cannot spell the look on his face, was it anger, frustration or probably passion? Before I could utter a word, he took my hand and dragged me out of the room. He led me to the palace garden, and we continued pacing through the woods. Loud thuds of breaking shrubs were heard due to our movement. I was surprised and thankful at the same time that nobody actually saw us.

Finally we reached a wooden cabin, Joong Ki immediately opened the door and lit a lamp which he kept in his sok ot. The cabin seemed to be where the haystack for the palace horses were kept.

“Joong Ki-sshi, I do not understand, why are we here?” I was confused at his sudden action. He turned to me with the same expression written on his face.

“Chae Won-sshi, I know I disappointed you that time. But I want you to know that I dreaded rejecting you. If you just knew how much I longed for you.” His eyes were focused on mine, and I can fully see the sincerity of every word that he said.

“Then show me” the words slipped my lips, and instantly I felt his lips on mine. I was surprised by his sudden maneuver, but I did not want it in any other way. We seemed to be in a competition where the both of us are trying to devour the other. His hands worked its way around the familiar places where he laid them on that night. A soft moan escaped my lips from the sensation, I could literally feel the heat from his every touch on my skin. My hands likewise had its own path on his body, eliciting the pleasurable groans from him. We were indeed hungry for each other.

Not long after our discarded garments were all over the floor and we were once again oblivious of the world. Our actions were more confident than the last, probably because we are now more familiar of each other’s bodies. We already knew how to pleasure each other with our kisses and touches. Declaration of love filled the small cabin until only sighs, moans, and pants were left of us.

And so after, we laid on our garments, limbs still tangled and arms intertwined. There was a moment of silence until Joong Ki said that we had to go back.

“But Joong Ki-sshi-“ I was perplexed. Why did he have to end our bliss too soon?

“Chae Won-sshi, please understand. No one has to suspect us. But remember that whenever we are here in this place, only the two of us exist in the world.” He placed a kiss on my forehead before we retrieved our garments and returned to the palace.

Joong Ki did not fail me, whenever we had the chance, we would sneak and hide in the cabin. With only our secret glances, we already knew what the other wanted. I could say that we learned more about the other from brought about by the closeness of our secret affair – not only physically, but emotionally as well.

As they say, every good thing must come to an end. One afternoon upon returning from another passionate exertion in the cabin, we were informed of the king’s arrival.

This time I know that he would not let me pass.

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Mini Glossary:

Sok-ot  (속옷) - undergarments

Usang jeonha (주상 전하). The term is used to address the current king. Jusang (주상) is the title used for the current king or sovereign, with the style ‘His Majesty’ or jeonha (전하).

Concubine - hugung (후궁, 後), 

Gungnyeo - maid

(credits to The Talking Cupboard)

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Hello there dear chingus! I'm so sorry for the delayed update, I've been very busy with work and all. Anyway, I hope I'm still keeping your interest in the story. I really wanted to complete this before NG's 2nd anniversary in August (Omo, and it has already been 2 years???) But let's see! :)

Your thoughts are well appreciated! Thanks! :D