[Inspired by Tablo's song, BAD]

Tonight, like many other nights, you are sitting alone at the balcony, staring at the night sky. I have been watching you since the past two hours. And yet, you don't speak even a word to me. Why are you being like this, Eric?

"Hyung, what are you thinking?" Junjin asks when we meet at the cafe.

"Nothing." I sip my drink and continue looking at people passing by outside the glass window.

"Is it about Eric hyung?" Oh Jin, you know me so well.

"Jin, it's late. I need to go now." I quickly leave the place to go home.

Again, I see you staring at the night sky, while smoking like there is no tomorrow.

"Eric, we need to talk." That is all I am able to say. I'm glad you look at me anyway.

"What? You want to leave?" You ask as if it means nothing.

"No. I would never leave you." I hear you chuckle.

"Then what?" You ask and look back at the sky.

"What happened to you? What happened to us?" You throw away your cigarette and walk towards me. Seeing your darkened face, should I feel scared now?

"If you know what happened to you, then you'd know what happened to me, and eventually what happened to us." You then leave the house, leaving me all alone to think about what you have just said. But even after hours of thinking, I don't know. I wait for you to come home that night, and you came, only when the clock strikes 5. I know you see me still sitting on the sofa, but you ignore me and go to bed instead. What happened to you Eric?

I go to see Minwoo that afternoon, to ask for help.

"He didn't say anything to me." Minwoo answers my question. "But he has been like that for a couple of months. I noticed he started to change since then. What happened two months ago?" Hearing his words, I curse myself for being ignorant. I thank Minwoo and run home. There you are, still lying on the bed. I know you are awake.

"I know now." I speak as I stand at the bedroom door. "But it wasn't my fault." You get up from bed and stare at me. "I was a victim." Your face looks angry. Why?

"It wasn't your fault?" I nod to your question. You immediately grab a pillow and throw it at me. "Who told you to go there? Who let you go there? Who?" I start to feel guilty. I lower my head, afraid to look at you now that I know I'm in the wrong. "What if I wasn't there to save you?" You stand in front of me; holding my chin up to make me face you. "What if no one was there to save you?"

"But you were there. You saved me." Carefully I speak without looking at you. But you grip my jaw instead. It hurts.

"What. If. I. Wasn't. There?" You emphasize on each word, telling me how serious you are at the moment. I know, and I start to cry.

"I know it was my fault. But you shouldn't put the blame on me alone. You're the one who made them angry!" I shout at you for I don't want to lose. But when I see your face, I know I choose the wrong words to say. A solid punch lands on my right cheek while you are grabbing my collar. Then you hit me again, this time on another cheek. I can feel blood oozing from my nose and lips, but you don't seem to have enough. And I receive another blow on my stomach.

"I don't want to be nice anymore." You let me go and I fall on the floor.

"Eric." I call you for my head starts spinning, but you don't care. I hear the door being slammed shut and I know you have left. I just lie there on the floor. I want to cry all my heart out. Then the images of what happened two months ago start playing in my mind.

***

Two months ago.

I went to the club to see you. I wanted to surprise you. As I was walking there, I saw a few people started following me.

"Hey, you are Eric's pet huh?" I heard they asked me. I didn't care to answer because from the way they asked, they meant no good. My pace increased as I saw they gathered around me. But I couldn't run anymore.

"Look. This is not the place for pretty boys like you. And when we see one, he won't be pretty any longer." I was confused when they said that, but I felt someone grabbed my arms and I fell on the ground. They all came closer to me; caressed my cheeks, touching my hair, and more things I didn't want to remember. I tried to get up and push them away, but they just got rougher. Tears started falling for I now knew I couldn't run. Eric, help me.

"Yaa!!!" A familiar voice seemed to startle them because they immediately stopped what they were doing to me. "Want to die??" Then I heard people started hitting, punching, and kicking each other. Still lying on the ground, I kept my eyes closed and curled myself like a ball. It was so cold, I felt like dying. "Hyesung." I heard my name being called with a very calm voice. It started to feel warm. "Hyesung." I tried to open my eyes, but I didn't bear to see the reality. "Wake up." That deep voice, which always made my heart fluttered, called me again. "Please." I opened my eyes and a bright light welcomed me.

"Am I dead?" I asked, starting to cry again. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to leave Eric.

"Hyesung." That voice spoke again, and I felt like being hugged. "Glad you're alive." It was you. You came to me. You came to save me. I hugged you back, only to receive a punch on my cheek. "Why did you come here?" You asked, sounded angry. I didn't know how to answer to that question, only tears came out. "Ahh never mind. Let's go home." You got up and started walking away. Why did I feel sad seeing your retreating back? "Are you coming?" You turned to ask me. I tried to get up but my body was hurt, so bad I couldn't even move. I tried again, when I realized I only had a jacket on me. Your jacket. I cried. "Here." You threw me my clothes that you had found, but I just sat still, starting to hate myself. Then I felt your hands as you helped me with my clothes. I quickly hugged you.

"I'm sorry. Please don't leave me." My cries got louder. You then got up and walked away, again. "Eric." You stopped. I got up, fixed my pants, and walked towards you. It hurt. When I reached you, everything went black.

I opened my eyes to see we were home. I knew I was on the bed. I turned to see you, but you weren't there. Why did I feel so alone? I got up to look for you. I walked around the house to be greeted by loneliness. Where are you Eric? Then I heard the door opened.

"Eric." I spoke and just stood still in the hallway. You closed the door and walked inside, without even looking at me. You put the food you bought on the table. I smiled as I walk towards the table and took a seat. I looked at you, wanted to thank you for the food. But why was your face seemed sad? Or was it angry? Or hatred? You hate me now Eric?

"Eat." You finally spoke as you pushed a plate towards me. I could only cry. "Stop crying and eat." I grabbed the spoon and ate, even though I didn't feel hungry anymore. Then you got up when you have finished your food, and left me there, eating alone. I cried again. I finished my food and walked to the bedroom. You were in the shower. Soon you got out, and I just watched you getting ready for bed. When I saw you taking out the extra mattress and pillow from the closet, my heart broke. You brought them to the living room and closed the bedroom door. I cried again for a hundredth time that day.

Junjin and Andy came to visit me the next day, and you weren't home.

"Are you okay hyung? What's up with these cuts and bruises?" Andy asked.

"Did Eric hyung hit you??" I heard anger in Junjin's tone. I just shook my head.

"I fell on the bathroom floor." I faked a smile. But they knew me.

"Did anything happen? You went to see Eric hyung at the club yesterday right?" My heart stung and my forehead started sweating upon Junjin's question.

"Em everything was fine." I answered and quickly walked away from them.

"What happened to you? Why are you walking like that? Why are you limping?" I stopped when I heard Andy's question.

"Hyung, did anything bad happen?" Junjin asked again. I took a deep breath and continued walking to the kitchen.

"N-nothing happened." I said, not looking at the two. And I knew both of them didn't believe what I said.

***

I don't know for how long I have been lying on the floor. The day has now become night. Being alone in the dark, I know you still haven’t come home.

"Eric." I mutter, my eyes are tired after hours of crying. I get up and take a shower. I know I should not let you put me down. "Dongwan, meet me at our usual place." I call my best friend and hurriedly walk out of the house.

"Hyesung, are you okay?" He asks when I sit in front of him.

"Stop asking me useless questions." I reply as I grab a drink. Tonight, I want to drink to my heart's content. 

"Hey guys." I stop when I hear Minwoo's voice. I look at Dongwan, and he just smiles. "Hyesung, are you-- Ouch!" I see Minwoo is looking at Dongwan, and the latter widens his eyes. I chuckle. I continue drinking without even speak a word to them.

"Hyesung, stop now, you're already drunk." Dongwan grabs my glass, but I take the bottle instead. I know I'm drunk, but the thoughts of you are still haunting my mind. It hurts. Minwoo then snatches the bottle away from me.

"Stop." He orders. I just smirk. Seeing the two of them, my heart starts to boil. I don't know why. "Where are you going?" I leave them and walk out of the place. Ahh it's raining. But I couldn't care less. The rain seems to know what I feel at the moment. I walk to where my feet are taking me. When I bump onto people, I get mad and curse at them.

"Hyesung!" I hear Dongwan's voice; and as if on cue, I continue running away from them. I don't want to see them. I want to be alone. "Hyesung!!!" Why his voice sounds so close? "Hyesung, stay with me." Why would I stay with you? "Minwoo, call the ambulance now." Dongwan, why do you need to call an ambulance? Is anybody hurt? "Hyesung, don't sleep." I'm tired, Dongwan. Please let me sleep now.

I open my eyes and realize I'm at the hospital. This is bad. You would be mad at me again. I get up, pull off the needle from my hand, and slowly walk out of the room. I see Dongwan and Minwoo waiting for me, and I just leave them there. Once I'm outside the hospital, I run home. Eric, please don't get angry. I take a deep breath and open the door. There you are, standing near the window.

"Where have you been?" You ask without looking at me, and I feel shiver all over my body.

"I went out with Dongwan and Minwoo." I walk to the living room to see you. And when you turn around, I smile. But you don't. You seem shock, and angry.

"What happened to you?" I don't know what I should say to you, for I myself don't even know what happened to me. Suddenly, your phone rings, and you answer. Please not them, please. Then I see your face becomes even darker. No, don't get mad. "You ran away from the hospital?" You calmly ask as you get closer to me. "Why were you there anyway?" I take a step back each time you take a step forward. "You got into trouble again?" Oh no, why is the wall so close? "You don't learn your lesson?" I don't know what my face is telling you, because I'm sure I didn't smile. But you start hitting me, until I slump onto the cold, hard floor. I don't care now Eric. Just hit me all you want, but please don't leave me.

"Eric!!" I hear Minwoo's voice from the door. "Stop it!" I see Dongwan comes to me. Why are they here?

"Hyesung, let's go back to the hospital." Dongwan speak so softly to me. I smile.

"No. I need to be with Eric." I feel happy just by saying those words.

"Hyesung, don't you remember? You were hit by a car. And you fell head first." Dongwan explains. Why does he sound worried? I don't get hit by any car.

"He what?" Your voice echoes through the living room. I think you sound surprised.

"You heard Dongwan." Minwoo replies and I see his hands still holding onto you. I don't like the tension, so I get up to face the two.

"I'm fine now. You guys can go." I flash a smile at them both.

"Hyesung, you're not fine. You're bleeding." Dongwan says as he pulls me to sit on the sofa. He then puts tissues to my nose. "Please, let's go back to the hospital." I look at you, but I see only your back.

"No, I'm okay." I grab the tissues from Dongwan's hand and take a look. Oh no, I'm bleeding pretty badly. I get up to go to the toilet, but you are still looking away from me. You hate me that much Eric?

"Hyesung!!" Dongwan shouts my name. Why does everyone keeps shouting my name today?? It hurts my ears. It hurts me more when it isn't your voice. "Let's take him there." Dongwan orders and they immediately help me getting up from the floor.

"Eric, are you coming?" Minwoo asks when we are at the door.

"No." My heart breaks into million pieces hearing your answer. I look at you but you are still facing the window. Now I'm sure you hate me.

"Bye Eric." I speak as the two walk me out of the house. And when the door closes, I know this is goodbye.

But something flickers in my mind. A voice in me is telling me not to give up, and I need to fight for my right. I smile and run back into the house. And I see you lying on the sofa. You are not crying, aren't you?

"Hyesung!" You get up when you hear Minwoo's loud voice. And you seem shock seeing me standing in front of you.

"What now?" You coldly ask, but your eyes are looking elsewhere. I smirk and punch you in the face. Surprisingly, it feels so damn good. I hit you again; slap you, kick you, beat the crap out of you, until you get up and start beating me.

"What the hell??" Minwoo shouts and tries to stop you, while Dongwan tries to grab me. But you didn't care. I didn't care. Dongwan then pulls Minwoo away. After what seem like eternity, we eventually stop; you slump exhausted on the sofa. I, still standing, chuckle when I see your bruised face. I feel great. Suddenly, you reach out both your hands to me, smiling.

"Come." With that one word, I let go all my ego and walk into your embrace. "Thanks for coming back to me." I smile when you my back. "I thought I've lost you since... you know..." You hug me as tight as you can. "Sorry for being a jerk for the past two months." You kiss my hair, and that moment I know, you never hate me.

"I'm sorry too." I hear you giggle. I feel warm. "Are we good?"

"We're good." You ruffle my hair as my head is leaning on your chest. "I love you."

"I love you too." Being in your embrace, I feel like I have the whole world to myself.

"What the hell is going on??" I hear Minwoo ask. Grinning like idiots in love, you and I look at the two of them.

"They made up." Dongwan speaks, for he understands the situation. "Let's go home." He pulls Minwoo out of the house, leaving the two of us for we need to catch up the two months we have wasted.