I can’t understand myself? Have I gone insane? Why do I believe that he was telling the truth? Why on earth would I let myself be tangled once again in a web of lies even though it was clear enough that he accepts the accusations? How? Why… why would I have this feeling of need to call out to him and throw away this anger, this betrayal… this loss?

Suffice to say that after Seunghyun had left him, he was broken into pieces. Perhaps confronting Seunghyun about it was far more painful as he had estimated it to be.

He felt himself drawing near insanity; he didn’t know what to do or think, all he knows now though that the pain didn’t subside. It grew tenfold and it wasn’t merciful to him in any way.

He looked down on his lap as he watches the remnants of tears that had fell on the cloth. He knows fully well that they were the marks of pain and agony that he had felt the moment the truth about his seemingly perfect love life really was behind the illusion. His hands balled at the sheets and he tries to control his anger but it wasn’t pushed back easily behind his mind.

He knows he can’t cage up how he feels anymore because it was far too much for his withered heart to bear. “Why must I be the one that has to go through this? What did I do to deserve this?” his thoughts bombarded him again and again.

“I’ve always showed him kindness and love despite the previous hate I had for him but I wouldn’t go to the extent of doing such treacherous ploy to even the odds. I don’t understand the pain of separating myself from the person I love and be forced to be bonded with someone random… well not till now that is… I feel like I’ve made a fool of myself to even think that love was real” a portion of his mind detailed the whole deception he’s facing.

“But you also felt the sincerity in Seunghyun words as he told you truthfully that he had intended those things yet he had ended up falling for you. Wasn’t that more than enough reason for you to understand that he had change his perspective towards you because he came to love you even though his main goal was to hurt you?” as conflict continues to tell him the pros and cons their relationship have had, he still doubted himself for what answer he needs to stop this pain inside.

“If his plan was to allure you then hurt you once you’re hooked as a fish, I think that plan had now worked perfectly. Look at yourself! You’re like a broken down widower and you haven’t even married yet at this point; what more pain would it cause you once you two tie the knot? You should be thankful that fate had unraveled something that would evidently bring you to your demise”  

“But if he were to really long for you to wither and eventually die, wouldn’t he had admitted his intent after the both of you make the vows? Wouldn’t it be much more convenient for him to have you legally then torture you? If he’s as awful and cruel as you thought he is, then these are the thing that was averted by his admittance. He confirmed the accusations because he knows he needs to tell you the truth and the truth in his own feelings”

His heart was nearly caving in to the despair as those words seem to fill his mind with further confusion. To trust or not?

It was difficult for him to understand and he needs help for him to carefully sort out how he feels with the whole thing. With one last whisper in his mind, an answer appeared before him “Like the tears you’ve shed in pain and sorrow; it also vanishes and dries away. Don’t let it dwell inside you to corrupt you, let it drop down like the tears and slowly you’ll see it disappear”

He looked intently at the remnants that were still there but little by little those stains were drifting away. He needs to let this all out so once his mind were to clear up he knows what he needs to do.

ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo

Meanwhile

“I thought that you were at Jiyong’s place?” Tae asked the moment he saw Seunghyun walked by the lobby; he seems to be off and not a single word from him as he made his way towards the elevator. He felt his concern grow in him so he dashed towards the elevator doors to stop it from closing.

In the nick of time he was able to stop it from closing. Panting a bit as he walked inside, he eyed Hyun who just stared blankly at the ground before him. It was something he rarely sees and he knows this has got to do with Jiyong, “How’s he doing? I hope you’ve found out the reason for him to be like that last night” no answer.

“Was it something serious? A bad news? Something wrong with his parents or anything?” he pried further but it seemed futile at the time. He was clearly lost in his head. “Seunghyun… you need to let it all out you know. If you continue to sink like that Jiyong won’t~” he stopped when Seunghyun rushed towards his office the moment the doors open.

He shook his head and got out of the elevator to pester him to talk. Seunghyun sat at his office chair and pulled out his stash of drink from the side table, pouring him something to burn down his feelings for the moment. He needs something to divert himself from the things that he had caused and the dreadful result it made to the person he had considered as the love he would cherish.

With three quick gulps he felt less focused at the pain that he had masque in front of Jiyong. He knows he was pitiful when he pleaded him to understand his explanation, to hear his sincere words that he only did those things out of the anger he had once felt but was replaced by love and passion. He couldn’t held back a few tears that seeps through his shut eyes.

Tae watched his friend crumble; he had seen him been like that whenever he had fought with Chaerin before but never he had seen him cry out in silence. “Hyun… tell me, so I know how to help. I can’t stand seeing the both of you be a total wreck! Tomorrow’s the wedding and~” he paused as Hyun’s eyes opened and stared at him “I don’t know if there’s a wedding or not. All I know is… Jiyong will cancel it” he hoarsely spoke.

“Had he told you directly that he’s cancelling it out?” Tae asked out “No… but by the looks of it… there’s really nothing to expect” Hyun looked back down to his desk, “Then there’s still hope into this, why don’t tell me what we’re up against so things would be fixed” he tried to convince “I’m not sure if it could be fixed in time before the wedding though. Jiyong’s… deeply hurt with it”

Losing his patients, Tae slammed his hands on the wooden desk, startling Seunghyun at the sudden action. “Tell me what’s going on so that you would stop your blubbering and that I could help take action towards this!” he practically yelled at him since he wasn’t going to have a muttering friend that would regret not making a move in order to get everything patched up in time. “He… somehow heard our conversation” he ashamedly answered.

Tae cocked a brow up “Try being more specific with what you’re saying because one thing’s for sure, there’s tons of things we’ve talked about and I’m not going to ask each and every one of it since I don’t recall most of it” tapping his feet on the ground with his patience wearing thin.

Hyun tried to look firm but regrets of even saying those words before hurts him more than he had ever expected it to. “He heard us talk in the elevator… about my plan for him...” he paused for a short while, mustering up more strength in him “He heard us talk about your big surprise? I don’t get it. Why would he be so disappointed with~” Seunghyun violently shook his head. “Not that…”

He cleared his throat to continue on “What he had heard for somewhat reason was our conversation from way before. About him and me… about my little plan to get my revenge on him for ruining me… and Chaerin” he sounded bitter at the last part but he couldn’t be blamed. Taeyang on the other hand was a bit struck. Never in his entire life would he expect their talk about that would even be heard by anyone else, well except if you have hold at the audio cams at the elevator that is.

“I think I have a person in mind that would be able to do such thorough search for something to ruin you and Jiyong, especially in a time like this. I need to go talk to him and get some sense in that sinister mind of his and make him explain!” he was about to rush out and beat him up but “No! I’ll talk to him. I don’t want you to kill him in the process… I know you and if you’re that furious you might end up finishing him off” Seunghyun got up from his seat and walked towards his friend.

“I’ll take care of this since I know fully well it was all my fault for being careless and insensitive with my words. I guess karma got back at me for plotting something awful to Ji. So I want to set things straight for the both of us. What I want you to do is break the news gently towards my dad and uncle. They need to know that there would be a little pause in this wedding but tell them that it wouldn’t be cut off just yet” he managed to brew a smile despite the trouble.

For a second, Tae tried to contemplate his request of only talking to their parents. “Fine… but if things get hairy contact me right away!” he sounded pissed but he means well. “Thank you. Oh, before I forget. Since things are still not working out between me and Ji, can you ask the staff to fix my room first? I… want everything back to the way they were before anything else”

No words were needed and he just nodded before exiting the room. He knows how much Seunghyun wanted that surprise to be done before the day of the wedding but right now, if they don’t do anything, there wouldn’t be a wedding that’ll be happing at all.

Seunghyun then sat back in his seat, trying to ease himself up once he goes to confront Seung Ri about it. He doesn’t want to barge right in with a clouded mind fueled by hate. He needs to let himself calm down and be reasonable.

He took his phone out and thought of giving Ri a text instead. He’s not ready to hear the other’s voice yet as of that moment.

ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo

A few hours later

It was somewhere around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Jiyong was still in his bedroom, trying to reason himself about what went on. Still confused, angered, betrayed and heartbroken. It was still far too overwhelming for him but he needs to do this. He needs to sort everything out before he surrenders to the void and be swallowed up in despair.

He stared blankly at the end of his bed with his head resting at the board. The voices inside him stopped a while ago but right now it seems like he was truly alone. He felt as if he’s inside a dark room filled only with silence.

In a few minutes of being practically dead to the world, he heard the door lock beep. He was either expecting Seunghyun again or perhaps Taeyang & Daesung… but he was wrong the moment those footsteps reached his room and opened the door, Seung Ri was there standing; eyes puffy and red. His face seemed he had been in a similar state as he did.

Ji looked at him with a distressed look “Are you… here to cause more pain?” his voice was low and faltering. Suffice to say that after his screaming, his voice was a bit throaty. Ri didn’t answer but walked towards the side of his bed with eyes locked onto him. Perhaps it was Jiyong’s hazy line of sight but he wasn’t sure since he swear that Ri’s eyes were red and puffy, “Has he been crying?” a question came up in his head.

Being preoccupied by that thought, he didn’t notice Ri pull out his hand from the covers and placed both of his own hands in a tender hold. When Ji did realize it, he flinched a bit but he didn’t had the strength to actually pull away from the hold “I’m here to make amends… I’m here to at least heal the wound I’ve caused” he tenderly spoke with words nearly turning into a sob. “You’ve caused already too much for me to recover… please, whatever you’re planning now, stop. It hurts so much Ri…” he looked away from him, not wanting to look at those deceiving eyes of his.

Although seeing Jiyong was clearing shutting out his resolve, he knows it would lessen the burden in his heart to clarify everything even if he wants to pull his hands away and never look back at the anguish he had sparked. “Ji, all I ever wanted in the world was to be happy. I never thought I’d find happiness when I found you that day. So that’s why when knew about the whole wedding it devastated me and I’d be lying to you if I’d say that it didn’t bothered me because it made me miserable to think that it would have been me that was in Seunghyun’s shoes”

Ji didn’t turn to look at him, he doesn’t want to fall for another lie. “You were the only reason for me to smile purely again, to actually claim that I can love yet again so I wanted to fight for that love I have for you and until now it’s been nothing but love that drove me into doing such tedious things to you and Seunghyun…” his voice faltered in the end but he whispered one last line “Because loving you would be the only thing that would keep me alive. So even if it means that I have to let go of you, I would do so without second thoughts. As long as you’re happy, I’ll be content with it”

Jiyong thought that his tears have already dried out but he felt hot tears fall down his eyes as he hears Seung Ri’s words and he knows it was sincerely from his heart. “I… I had that audio from the elevator from the CCTV cams from the hotel. Chaerin had her contacts from the hotel to find something against you or Seunghyun. They then found out about it and she gave it to me”

“I didn’t wanted it reach that type of option but I became desperate since the wedding was drawing nearer. I panicked internally so I accepted to be part of the ploy. Either way you would’ve had the whole clip if I didn’t present you the audio” Jiyong snapped his head to look at him with pained look in his eyes.

“That was recorded at least a few days from when the both of you got to know each other. He was mad at you for being the reason for him and Chaerin to be apart from each other since he was about to propose to her on Christmas Eve. I got that information from the staff that was setting up the whole venue for the proposal so… that was mainly why he was angry with you the moment your arrangement was announced”

Jiyong cried heavily but it was silent. It was as if his eyes were just broken and the water filled his vision, “Seunghyun said those things before he came to acknowledge his feelings for you. He loves you and I’ve proven that the moment you ran away back at Jeju. I only realized then how much he valued you than he had ever done with anyone else and tore me apart so that’s why I wanted to separate the both of you but, it seems I can’t break apart something that’s strong as your bond for each other”

At that very statement made an impact in Jiyong’s heart. It helped tipped the scales in that once waning faith he had for Seunghyun into a balance but he knows that it’s not entirely enough to forget those hurtful things he had heard; those morbid ploy he tended to happen and especially, that false love he intended.

Can forgiveness weigh more than the amount of pain and betrayal he had gone through?

ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo

At nightfall

Seunghyun was tapping on his desk, still waiting patiently for a reply from Seung Ri. He had texted him, made several missed calls and also told some of his staff to personally look for him but none of them found him. He was growing impatient but he needs to compose himself. He doesn’t want to make a scene and he had already deliberately ignored the phone calls his father was giving for the past two hours.

He wanted to set aside what his father has to say to him because he needs to have some sort of closure with his damned cousin. He needs to know why he’d do something as terrible as that to him and more on, to Jiyong.

A few minutes of silently thinking of what to do next, Tae came inside the room. He looked up to him with a poker-face “How did it all went?” he asked right away, “Your mom and dad was upset but didn’t pry further with me, I guess they want to know the answer from you. Had they been calling you?” Hyun answered only with a nod “Well that can’t be helped since they’ve already been so excited with the whole thing tomorrow. Anyways, your room has been rearranged back to the way it was” he sighed tiredly.

“Any word from Ji or Dae?” he asked Hyun. Shaking his head uninterestedly “Ji needs time. I know he’ll come around; he loves you doesn’t he? So he’ll come to conclude that your love for each other weighs more than just a stupid old conversation we had…” but it wasn’t helping Seunghyun’s state “I just know he’ll get through this”

“I can wait… as long as there’s hope though” Hyun simply implicates “I’ll be as patient as I can be as long as he no longer cries because of what I’ve done. I can bear it for as long as I can” Tae nodded “Is there anything else you want me to do for you? We could grab some drinks or something to get your mind off it for a while” he suggested but again, Seunghyun declined.

“I’ll be leaving then, just give me a call if you need anything alright?” Hyun smiled faintly at him before he left.

Silence took place again in his lonely office.

“I wanted this day to be memorable for the both of us…” he looked at the small framed photo of Jiyong in his desk. A photo of one of their dates at Lotte world “Today was supposedly the last day of our life as a single and the next would be the start of our lives as one. I wanted to live a life where each day I open my eyes, I see you there”

He then pulled out something from his desk drawer. A small black box with a red string tied as a ribbon. “I would have been the day that I would’ve officially declared to you personally how much this wedding now meant to me; you to me” he drew out a half grin and pulled the small string to open the box.

A small white gold ring with a simple design but had an engraved words, those words were “I'm forever thine” and he took out the ring that would be paired with his that says “Art forever mine”

Looking at the supposed to be rings he would give to him that afternoon became useless for the moment. “I guess this has to wait” placing both rings inside the box and keeping it in the drawer once more.

I need to have a talk to him tomorrow, I need to see him, I need to reason with him because I need to show him that my anger died a long time ago and was replaced with a love that I could never measure. I need him in my life and I won’t give up just because of this.

I only hope that with my words, I made a small contribution on helping. Even if it was my fault, my only concern is to get rid of the pain dwelling in Jiyong. That’s all I want right now, please… don’t shut yourself away from others too soon Ji. You’re strong, I just know it.

I can’t understand the truth from the lies anymore. I know that he could cover up the truth just as easy as that but as I listen to them, it felt like a message from the bottom of their hearts. I can’t decide on what to do… I just can’t…

ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~ooOoo

Hi guys :3

I hope you're thrilled at the next chapter because it would be one mushy mushy blah blah... >.< hehehe. 

that aside, I'd like to thank again those of you that read this, subcribed and upvoted. I also want to let you guys know that comments are much appriciated since it makes my heart flutter whenever I read your comments. :)

Also, I haven't done much proofread but I'll rework everything once it's finished and fix all the mistakes and my abusive actions of mispelling or ill use of  words. That being said, I hope you enjoy! Happy reading :D