And your arms around me come undone. 

Tears were something he was already used to shed, but the idea of letting it all out by words had always been so foreign. It had always been a silent rule not to talk, not to let it out. He had always felt so sick, sick of getting blamed for it all. Neither one of them, Kyuhyun or Sungmin, ever said it out loud but Ryeowook had learned to read both of their faces and moods so he knew. But after he had poured out his heart to a stranger after Kyuhyun had left him, it had made him feel free.

Free and powerful.

 He had no idea how he had ended up at Kyuhyun and Sungmin’s apartment complex or how he had sobered up so fast but all he had wanted to do was to yell. He had wanted to sort it all out right now and what was better way to do so than storm into Kyuhyun and Sungmin’s shared apartment at the time of too early for either one of them to be out.

It started with him yelling whatever came out from his mouth. At some point Kyuhyun wasn’t listening anymore and joined his yelling. 

***

Kyuhyun lets him in without a resistance and Ryeowook stomps inside, angrily slamming his hands on the table and Sungmin stares up at him, lowering the newspaper. He looks so ridiculous with his bed head and pajamas and Ryeowook wants to splash something on him but coffee is too hot, he considers.

None of them says anything for a while, not until Ryeowook stops staring at Sungmin and turns, meeting standing Kyuhyun by the doorway. The younger one flinches as Ryeowook stomps closer.

“So you think I’m the waste of your time?”

Kyuhyun’s look hardens and Ryeowook pulls his hands up, his fingers bending in anger.

“You have been the waste of my life, Cho Kyuhyun! I don’t understand what the actual I saw in you!”

***

Ryeowook wasn’t sure when he had actually fallen in love with his best friend of over ten years. It might have been that Christmas ball in senior year of high school or it might have been that one summer night or it could have been anything else. He had always kept Kyuhyun dear to him, they had something special and for a long time he thought it was just platonic kind of way of romance, and it had seemed like Kyuhyun had been okay with that. His whole adulthood had been falling ins and outs with Cho Kyuhyun. His brother had told him to find someone who would be even more precious than Kyuhyun but there just hadn’t been anyone who could easily replace him.

Not until Ryeowook had met Lee Sungmin.

They had easily fallen in the pattern of easy friendship and Ryeowook had loved it. He had loved to have someone else than Kyuhyun to share his daily life with, he had loved the way Sungmin had smiled at him and he had, probably between that one cooking night and that wipe of fingers when they had been crying over that one drama, fallen in love. 

***

“It’s not just my fault that we are in this situation! It needs two to tango, you know! I loved you once more than you can ever imagine! You let it slip, you let me fall in love with someone else!” Ryeowook cries and Sungmin feels the bang in heart as Kyuhyun’s jaw trembles and he is biting hard down on his lower lip. “You missed a lot of chances!” Ryeowook yells, his voice going hoarse and Sungmin clenches his fists together, hard enough to hurt, hard enough to hide the emotional hurt when he listens to the two others to yell at each other.

“Oh! So it’s my fault now? I missed chances I didn’t even know I had!”

“You should have—“

“So was I just a tool for you? A tool to make him notice you?”

Sungmin’s voice cuts the air like a knife, silencing both of the younger men. Ryeowook’s eyes widen and Kyuhyun takes a step back, like he’s seeing Sungmin for the first time, like he has almost forgotten he is in the apartment with them, listening to every word.

***

But as his life had proved, it hadn’t been that easy to fall out in love with Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun had always been a possessive best friend. He made his existence loud and clear, had always done so.

And suddenly, things were out of Ryeowook’s hands. And Ryeowook had done what he did best: run away. Those two years in China had been horrible but it had taken almost a month from Zhoumi to coax him to start a restaurant with him back home. Ryeowook had feared the worst.

Sungmin had figured it out first and to Ryeowook’s surprise he had wanted to continue their friendship. And his heart had felt like bursting. None of is exes had ever stayed around after meeting Kyuhyun, that was the price to date him but Sungmin seemed to be thinking that he was worth of it. Or Ryeowook wanted to believe so and he might have fallen more, convincing himself into believing that every of their little meet ups meant something more.

***

“No. I... I didn’t mean it like that…” Ryeowook’s voice is small and it cracks but Sungmin doesn’t care.

The pain in his hands doesn’t dull the hurt. It’s too late now, it’s too late for Sungmin to calm himself.

“Well what else I could have been to you then?”

“But… you mean so much to me”, Ryeowook whispers, almost desperate, “you can’t expect me to act less than a friend to you, no matter what” and Sungmin almost wavers under that look of Ryeowook’s but he sternly pulls the younger one’s hands away from his arm (he has no idea when Ryeowook had moved next to him and took a hold of his arms). He can feel Ryeowook to tremble.

“I know but I… I just can’t. I have given up so much for you”, Sungmin whispers and he knows it’s a low blow from the way Ryeowook’s eyes widen. “To me it looks like Kyuhyun had all the changes. Always.” He knows it was wrong thing to say (after what he had said only mere twelve hours ago) but it has been a nasty game from the beginning. Everything has gone wrong from the beginning and neither one of them is going to play fair to end it without hurt and tears.

“For once, I actually agree with him!” Kyuhyun pipes in and Sungmin sees all the colours vanish from Ryeowook’s face. His voice is dangerously low when starts to speak, still staring at Kyuhyun.

***

To get to the point of finally deciding which one of them he actually wanted to date, he had experienced too many broken dreams, too many kisses and too many angry snarls and sleepless nights. It could have been easy but Kyuhyun had been loud and clear about his feelings and after kind of stressful couple of days full of angry confessions, so many hurtful things said and too many hurt faces and so many tears later, Ryeowook was sick of it.

***

“Oh you Cho Kyuhyun!” Ryeowook snarls, his eyes already wet from the tears.  He groans angrily, wiping the tears away and Sungmin feels the chill when Kyuhyun whispers: “Just choose.”

***

 He almost threw Ryeowook out but Sungmin was there to catch Ryeowook, who stumbled as Kyuhyun pushed him. Sungmin’s eyes were red but there’re no tears in them, only agony, and Ryeowook looked ready to hit him but the shorter male just pushed himself away from Sungmin.

When the door was closed behind Ryeowook, Kyuhyun fell on the floor. His hands were flat against the floor, his body shaking and Sungmin knew he was silently crying.

Sungmin stood by the door, his hand flat against it. Kyuhyun was sure he was listening if Ryeowook stayed behind but after maybe couple of minutes, the older male let his hand slip and Kyuhyun watched from behind his tears as Sungmin went to his room and closed the door behind him.

He shouldn’t have been feeling guilty but he couldn’t help it.

***

Kim Heechul isn’t impressed how his brother dealt with his love matters. He isn’t that keen to deal with sobbing mess of his brother on his living room and he is actually pretty annoyed how his own boyfriend finds his brother’s misfortune so much more interesting than planning their engagement party. In which he is not going to invite Cho Kyuhyun or Lee Sungmin.

If he ever sees neither one of them, ever, he is going to rip their balls off and stake their hearts and burn them to gods.  

No one, ever, hurts his baby brother.

***

Sungmin wasn’t sure if had been a wise of them to get that drunk. It was pretty stupid considering it was kind of a work related party but they couldn’t have helped since it had all started from the moment Sungmin had walked inside their apartment after a horrible day at work and Kyuhyun had more or less pushed the wine bottle in his hands. And now they were at the work related party where they were kind of supposed to be presentable but Sungmin couldn’t care less. He had just lost one of a big offer a lifetime because some stupid trivial reason his boss wasn’t going to tell him. Sungmin was drunk and they were both sitting by the bar, snorting and pointing at other people, being ridiculously close and tolerant of each others. Maybe it was all the drunken talking in them but Sungmin had missed hanging out with Kyuhyun, they made great roommates above all.

 ***

Their conversation drifts into a dangerous zone at one point.

“Have you ever heard of a relationship with more than one partner?” Sungmin blurts out after they had gossiped how this one worker was totally playing with two other workers without them knowing. Kyuhyun almost chokes on his drink and Sungmin giggles and Kyuhyun gives him a finger.

“I could never be in one!” Kyuhyun snaps, his eyes narrowing. “I don’t like to share. Not with you.”

Sungmin laughs it off, the dangerous growl. “You aren’t that handsome either”, Sungmin laughs and Kyuhyun sneers, gulping from the bottle.

They aren’t sure what happened next.

Suddenly Sungmin is wet and Kyuhyun yells at something and everything is blur and Sungmin hears something like “you faces. No, Siwon, the did I told you inviting them!” and Kyuhyun’s “Jesus, Heechul, what are you doing here?” and this Heechul person’s “ing ripping your balls off Cho.”

As fast as it all started it’s over and Sungmin sways on his stool and this – the boss maybe, Sungmin isn’t sure – tall and handsome man is apologizing and Kyuhyun is cursing angrily.

“Who was he?”

“He was supposed to be one of my—“

“Kim ing Heechul, Ryeowook’s brother.”

“Kyuhyun, please.”

“No Siwon. Did you even… think when you invited us?”

“I didn’t know you two had ed up his brother!”

Oh, now Sungmin understands. He almost wants to laugh.

***

The job Sungmin had lost was a big upcoming project. Sungmin hadn’t understood, they had planned that photoshoot for a half of a year already and it meant a lot to their company. Also it had been taking his mind of Ryeowook. His supervisor told him to complain to the boss if he wanted and Sungmin had wanted. His boss had looked at him sadly and sighed – it was the wish of the client not to have him as one of the photographers. Sungmin hadn’t understood at all, claiming that he had done his work well every time and he was trustful and his boss had said that he knew it but he couldn’t do anything about it. That had been all the reasons given.

The party they were attending was the countdown to that said photoshoot.

****

They are launching at their living room after they were kicked out of the party.

Kyuhyun is nursing the bottle in his hands and Sungmin is staring blindly at the ceiling.

“But would you do it? For the one you love?”

Sungmin lowers his gaze and Kyuhyun is staring at him, looking the most sober he has looked during the night.

“Would you?” Sungmin counterattacks, “it’s you who has been so against me.”

Kyuhyun sneers and takes a sip from his bottle. They sit in silence until Sungmin opens his mouth.

“Maybe. We could have switched, you could have dates on Tuesdays and I on Thursdays, right?”

Kyuhyun laughs, drunken laughs and the bottle clings as he sets it down. There’s kind of a dreamy but sad smile on his face.

“Right… like we had done before, you know.”

And Sungmin realizes suddenly something. It twitches inside his stomach, it makes it lurch and he feels so sick.

“You are such an , you know.”

Kyuhyun snorts, not noting Sungmin’s discomfort.

“Why so suddenly now, really?”

Sungmin curses and hides his face behind his hands. He doesn’t know why but tears escape from his eyes and soon he is sobbing uncontrollably. Kyuhyun just stares.

“What?”

“You er asked him to choose!”

It’s painful to watch how the realization hits Kyuhyun.

__________________________________

Um... hi?

Sorry for not updating for so long, I got a block, because this part was so hard to write and nggggggggggggh. Also life has been busy since summer and I have been just too tired to write anything. This story will probably have one-two chapters, or one longer chapter and then a short epilogue...but we will see what happens.