Heaven
Bottlecap- the diary of jeon won woo[december 31st 2013]
The day the deal that we agreed on came.
I saw her.
She looked so beatific. So alive. So pure.
Dressed in all white. Rosy cheeks and bright eyes. Did her condition heal in heaven?
I couldn't help but smile. My angel was right in front of me.
My heart sped up just like on the day i confessed to her. I clutched onto the bouquet of roses which i had preserved from the tragic day with my shaking hands. They had been placed beside my sleeping beauty in the hospital room, carefully watered and taken care of everyday.
Too nervous to speak, i approached her. She didn't seem to feel my presence though.
Then, she looked my way.
"Jangmi..?" i breathed, it was barely audible. The figure infront of me didn't speak, just flinched at her name. Her eyes sparkled so i assumed that she could see me. I gave her my warmest smile. She remained silent.
"I was.. um i mean i am your best friend?" I said, this time louder.
"I don't have a best friend." She finally responded with a glazed look.
"Jangmi.. It's Won.. Remember.. me?" I tried again trying to hide my hurt feelings. Not the slightest bit of familiarity showed across her countenance. Her vacant expression told me that she really didn't know who i was.
I felt a painful stab in my heart.
"All the memories we shared? All the hard times we went through together? All the fun times we had together? You don't remember?" Tears stung my eyes as I recounted all the fond moments i spent with her.
Every second spent with her was so precious to me and yet all she said was a cold and flat, "Who are you? And why do you know all these things that never happened? What are you going to do to me?!"
Her breathing quickened as her hands trembled in an odd rhythm. Her eyes flickered back and forth. She slowly backed away from me. She was scared.
I scared her.
"...Please go away" That stung.
Then, i heard the chime.
The chime that meant that everything was over.
I was never getting the person i yearned for so much back.
I was never going to see her jumping about like a child.
I was never going to see her sing to her favourite old tunes again.
I was never going to see her smile back at me again.
I was never going to see her alive again.
I wanted to savour the every last bit of time i had with her. To touch her. To hold her.
To tell her that i still loved her.
written on february 20th 2014, kept in the white coffin
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