Memories in my Eyes

This was one of the events that measured the strength of their relationship. Though the initial stimulus was just made to create confusion, nevertheless, its result turned to be a sudden hindrance in both of their lives.

It happened when she was a senior in her college years and almost three years younger than him.

They say that age doesn’t matter when it comes to love. But is that really true? Or will there be a difference in the couple’s feelings in the disparity of age? Will it be better if both of them were born in the same year or the relationship is stronger when one is ahead of the other?

Those were the questions her professor left for the class to reflect upon and even though it was something to just laugh about, that put her into thinking what would be the answer for these two assumptions.

“You’ve been spacing out lately” Her boyfriend asked in concern since she seemed to be in her own world as she haven’t even touched her now cold food while having a dinner date with him. It was only when he held her hand that she came back from being herself and he asked her again. “Are you alright?”

She was apologetic since she hadn’t been paying attention to him all along and with the fact that they only meet once a week because of his work, added to her sadness.

“I’m sorry Jae…I think I need some rest” She gave him her sentiment and being an understanding guy, even if he wanted to spend more time with her, agreed to drive her back home.

The questions still lingered in her mind and she was considering asking him about it. But a side thought entered her mind and though it was less related to the problem, it triggered her sense of wonder.

He is her first boyfriend but she didn’t know if she is his first and that made her a lot more curious about that matter. She didn’t know what will her response would be if he told her that she was not or will she be contented if she will hear what she wanted him to tell her? It was confusing her.

They arrived at her place but she didn’t budge to get out of his car. She really wanted to hear his reply and was waiting for a sign that he unknowingly gave. “Something’s bothering you…Mind telling me?” He said as he held her hand once again while looking deep into her eyes. And that was her cue to let it out.

“Did you love someone before?” She finally did it but the look on his face showed uncertainty. “I mean if you loved someone before we’ve known each other”

He retreated back his hand as he sat comfortably on his seat and sighed. “Why do you want to know?” The way he told her seemed to be so cold but she knew better that there’s something he didn’t want to remember.

“I’m sorry” That’s the only words she uttered as she picked up her bag and ready to get out of the car but he stopped her.

“Is that what’s bugging you?” She faced him only to see that same look in his eyes and she nodded slowly, anticipating what he will say next.

“Then yes” He was a straightforward guy but the thought of hurting her feelings didn’t came to his senses since he just wanted to bring back the same old cheerful her. She was a bit surprised and hung her head low as he continued. “She was my classmate in college and also my first love. It was strange though, we’re both opposites. She was a carefree girl while I didn’t care about anyone. I didn’t know how she managed to affect me but that’s when I started to develop feelings for her. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she agreed. I thought I can change for the better with her help but…” She was holding back her tears as she listened to his story. The way he told her about his past made her cringed with the fact that it was only the time he talked lightheartedly.

“But she was caught in an accident. I was waiting for her to celebrate our anniversary but she never came…she won’t ever come back” She glanced at him and that was the moment that reality slapped her when she saw how sad he looked. How he was longing for his first love and how it was breaking her heart.

“Do you miss her?” She stupidly asked even though she knew the answer as her tears were going to come out anytime soon.

“I really miss her…but Boa, it’s not…Boa!” He called as she hurriedly got out of the car and ran inside the house. She leaned on the door of her room, sobbing uncontrollably after hearing what he admitted. She regretted why she even asked him that in the first place as things were turning worse.