We both knew this type of life didn’t come with instructions
So I’m trying to do my best to make something out of nothing.   [ Back Home – Gym Class Heroes]

He had been staring at the TV, absentmindedly flipping through the channels for the past two hours in the empty living room. His two roommates were out for practice the whole day. As usual. Kris would be too, if it wasn’t for little Ms. Know-It-All tattle-telling to Lee Soo Man. Urghhh. What did she know? The pain in his ankle didn’t matter, not at a time like this, when he absolutely could not afford to lose any practice time as his debut date was only getting closer.

Yet the more he contemplated about the situation, the guiltier he felt blaming the girl. It wasn’t her fault that she could detect his injured ankle. It wasn’t her fault that she cared about a stranger, when she really should be angry at his rudeness. Though he really knew little to nothing about the girl, it was clear to him that she was kind. But what really struck him was that in that brief moment when she looked at him, he had seen in her eyes---something more than kindness or concern---pity. It was odd. It was perplexing. It scared him as much as it confused him, how that look of pity in her eyes alone undid things he had buried deep inside his heart long ago.

He recalled those summer days when he used to rap his heart out in the small school studio back in his hometown. Or those sleepless nights when he poured his thoughts into his own lyrics. Or those countless hours of dancing, reading, contemplating. Those times when he was just simply being… himself.

There weren’t classes he had to take to learn how to “entertain” on a variety show. There weren’t fear of pre-debut scandals every time he went out with some friends. There weren’t jealousy and competition among the very people who went through sweat and tears with each other. There weren’t days he had to carry through despite exhaustion and pain, when all he really wanted was to snuggle in bed. Was this what she pitied him for?

Yes, this was the trainee’s life. This was real. Not some vague flowery bogus on those typical documentaries of the rookie groups. He laughed at himself mockingly at the prospect of having to repeat this white lie in the very near future.

Only ten months until his official debut. This is it! He would soon to reach that goal he had been working towards for years. But why wasn’t he basking in excitement and glory like he thought he would? Instead, everything just felt so unreal. He almost felt like one morning when he woke up, he would find himself back in that old school studio again. How wonderfully carefree would he be!

Since when had his passion ceased to be liberating to his soul? Since when did it become something so constraining, so suffocating to live with?

He didn’t have the answer to that. But it wouldn’t matter anyways. He chose this. And he shall follow through no matter what. He would make something out of himself, even if he had to lose himself.

          Oh how wonderful the irony of life, isn’t it?

Out of impulse, he pulled out a little blue notebook from his desk drawer and fumbled his pocket for a pen. He felt a sudden urge and hunger to write. His fingers, which hadn’t written anything for months but the occasional practice of his future autograph, were now frantically scribbling lyrics onto the pages, not even minding how the words sounded, only going with his raw emotions.

It was a sleepless night for him that night, his first one in a quite long time. Yet he never felt so joyous as he did that night. He felt alive. His first time in a long time, too.

A/N: Hey lovelies! I can't believe I finished this chapter as fast as I did. So excited to post this to you guys!!!

Little confession to make: I don't really know EXO all that well. [a VIP at heart though :] I honestly just felt like Kris fit the character 'cus he's just so... apathetic all the time. So kaboom, he's here! Hehe.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUBSCRIBING. PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT!~ Because I don't know if anyone's still reading this anymore :(

Love ya! Take care!