*a/n: Listen to this (Lead Me To The Cross) while reading this chap.. ^.^

 

No offense intended with a certain topic mentioned in some lines. . . .

-----------------------------

 

o=o=o

 

He skipped school. For just a few hours, he wanted to give himself some time alone. He wandered off along the streets – just walking with his usual getup. His hood was pulled up while a set of earphones were inserted in his ears. His hands were inside his pockets.

 

He emptied his mind from everything that’s been happening lately. For a few hours, he wanted to forget who he was, his mother, his friends, Jaejoong and Dara. For just a few hours, he wanted to forget Sulli and their meetings.  For once, he wanted to live like he used to – a normal human being.

 

He walked, ate in a fastfood chain, took a rest, walked again, watched some guys play bastketball, walked again, watched some passersby. . . . until his feet brought him to a place he’s never been before – the church. He stood a few feet away from it, just stared at every angle and curve of the building. There were never really forbidden to go to churches. Actually, NO ONE ever told them what will happen if they enter one because as far as the shadows’ history say, NO ONE ever dared enter a church before. He used to wonder what will happen if someone like him will enter one. Will he be burned to ashes? Will he be stripped off of his powers? Will he not be able to step inside like there’s an invisible barrier or detector on the door that will stop someone like him to enter?

 

There were too many questions before but he never really tried to go inside. Maybe he was afraid that he won’t be able to enter because of the blood that runs through his veins.

 

Every shadow he knew loved being a shadow but not him. Since he was a kid, he loathed it. He loathed the blood that runs through his veins. It ruined his father, it ruined his mother, it ruined him – it ruined his family. Weirdly, he doesn’t want to be a shadow. Yes, it was amazing – what’s with all the abilities and powers one can have. He admits that he thirsted for power, he was tempted to inflict pain and watch people suffer, and he desired to be the strongest shadow of all time. But above all, he felt tainted, he felt dirty . . . . . if he can, he’d rip his veins out and drain all his evil blood out. But even if he’s a direct descendant, he can’t do anything about it. He was born that way, so he has to live with it. But he didn’t really believe in that before. But now, he’s starting to believe it.

 

He was born a shadow; he might as well live up to it. Be evil, be a normal shadow.

 

With a shrug, he started heading towards the church. He didn’t falter, didn’t pause and he definitely didn’t hesitate entering the facility. The moment he stepped in, he continued walking ‘til he reached the center of the aisle. He paused and looked around. He looked at himself and felt a strong surge of disappointment when nothing happened to him. There was this tiny flicker of hope deep inside him that he’ll be burn to ashes when he enters the church. ‘So, you welcome everyone, huh? Even if I’m some sort of a product of your traitor angel? You should burn me, you know’ he thought, then sighed. Still, nothing happened. He was deeply disappointed with it. He looked around again. Nobody seemed to mind him so he decided to take a seat.

 

A bittersweet smile curved his lips as his eyes went up front. There were too many questions he would like to ask but then, why would that BIG GUY up there bothers answering someone like him.

 

“Come on, send your angels to fight me, to capture me” he whispered sarcastically, then chuckled under his breath. ‘Are you really the Creator?’ he thought. ‘Why did you make me this way? Was my fate of being sent to hell written already even before I was born? Now where’s the fairness in that? You’re supposed to be fair!’

 

Yes, he’s sure he’ll be sent to hell after his life on earth. Where else would he go?

 

He stayed there, not really sure why he’s doing it, not really sure why he’s wasting time sitting there, doing nothing. But he stayed there. . . .

 

o=o=o

 

“Bom, I want you to do something”

 

“And why should I take orders from you?” the girl asked spicily.

 

Jiyong looked at her for a moment, turned around and walked away.

 

“Ya!” Bom called. “Where are you going?”

 

“Find someone else”

 

“Fine!” she snapped. “I’ll do it!”

 

Jiyong stopped in his tracks and faced her again. “I want you tell Dara about the prediction”

 

There was a pause, then, “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!” Bom burst out. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WILL HAPPENED IF I TELL HER ABOUT THE PREDICTION?!”

 

“I’m fully aware of what I’m doing” he cut off quietly but there’s something sinister in the way he spoke that made Bom shut up. “If you can’t do it, just tell me. I’ll find someone else who can”

 

“But why?” she asked.

 

“Why do you have to ask questions? Can’t you just do it?”

 

Silence.

 

“Fine” she sighed.

 

“Good” he nodded and turned to leave again when Bom stopped him. “What?”

 

“She’s been looking for you” she informed him. “Can’t you at least drop her a visit? I don’t know what’s really going on here but I know something’s up. And eventhough I don’t have the right to meddle, I think Dara has the right to know what’s going on. She’s your girlfriend after all”

 

“Just tell her I’m busy”

 

“Busy with what?” she asked but he didn’t say anything anymore.

 

He just walked away.

 

o=o=o

 

“I’ve got five conditions, actually” Sulli told him.

 

“Okay” he nodded nonchalantly. “And those are?”

 

Sulli smiled sweetly. “They’re quite easy, don’t worry”

 

“I’m not worried” Jiyong snorted, with a little tinge of arrogance.

 

“Good” Sulli nodded, still smiling.

 

o=o=o

 

“Have you seen Jiyong?” Dara asked Bom.

 

“I-” she started but the sound of a phone ringing stopped her. “Hello?” she answered. “Yes, she’s here with me. . . . no, I haven’t. . . . what? Why? But- okay, okay. I got it”

 

“Was that Jiyong?” Dara asked at once.

 

“Yes” Bom nodded. “He said he wants you to go to his house”

 

“Oh, okay!” she answered brightly and ran away.

 

“Dara, wait! I have something to tell you”

 

“Later!” Dara called.

 

Her heart was beating so fast. Thoughts of Jiyong ran around her mind. Is he up to something? A surprise, maybe? Is he going to say sorry for being harsh to her the last time they saw each other? She hopes so. . . she hopes so.

 

She was glad to see that her car was still there. She yanked the door open and went in. she keyed it to life and drove off. She can’t help but smile as thoughts of different possibilities lingered in her mind.

 

Her excitement heightened up when she was nearing Jiyong’s house. And when she finally pulled to a stop in front of his house, her hands were trembling so hard from excitement. She took a deep breath and went in. she heard a loud rock music coming from his room. Without pausing, she rain to upstairs.

 

“Jiyong!” she greeted brightly but stopped dead as she saw three women in his bed.

 

She saw it. She saw how her world fell apart right in front of her very eyes.

 

She heard it, heard how her heart broke to pieces.

 

These were her first reactions but a defensive part of her argued with those reactions. There must be a good explanation behind this. She marched inside the room, trying to avoid looking at the sleeping figures in the bed. She checked the bathroom but found out he’s not there. She went out of the room and ran down the stairs. Her tears were making her vision blurry so she wasn’t able to notice the person right in front of her, making her bump against a hard body. She looked up.

 

“You’re here” Jiyong said.

 

“What are those. . . . those women doing up there?!”

 

“What do you think?” he smirked.

 

“But w-why?” she cried.

 

“Because I want to” he shrugged.

 

“Am I not enough for you?” she asked, voice breaking.

 

“You were never enough for me” he said. “Sorry but this is the only way I could think of to have an easy way out”

 

“An easy way out?” she echoed.

 

“! Do I have to translate everything to you?!” he exploded. “I’m breaking up with you!”

 

She suddenly felt confused. But she understood one thing; he was breaking up with her. That was pretty clear. But she can’t let that happen.

 

“Jiyong” she cried. “You don’t mean that. Please don’t do this. I’ll do anything you ask! I’ll behave myself! I won’t be a crybaby anymore. I won’t be a burden. . . . please d-don’t break up with m-me. . . . Jiyong. . . . I love y-you, please. . . .”

 

“Jesus!” he breathed. “Are you trying to be stupid?! Or you’re simply martyr?”

 

“I-I’ll forget this Jiyong. . . . I won’t take this against you. . . you’re just a guy after all, of course. You have needs that I can’t f-fulfill so it’s pretty normal for you to seek. . . . to seek comfort in the arms of other. . . .”

 

“STOP!” he shouted. “Can’t you see?! I’m tired of you already! I don’t want you anymore, okay?!”

 

“You’re lying. . . .” she shook her head. “Y-you’re lying!”

 

“ it, Dara!” he swore. “It’s the truth! I don’t want to be involved with you anymore!”

 

“NO!” she cried. “I know you’re lying! I know you care for me! You care for me, Jiyong! And look, you’re still wearing the necklace I gave you! That only means that you-”

 

“THIS?” he echoed. He pulled the necklace off then threw it away.

 

“Jiyong, please don’t. . . .” she cried and begged. She tried to hug him but he only pushed roughly away. “Why a-are you hurting me?”

 

“I’m born this way, Dara!” he hissed. “I’m born to take pleasure in other people’s miseries. I’m born to hurt you! I’m born to-!”

 

“That’s not true!” she cried out desperately. “Look at Lucifer! He was an angel! The most beautiful angel God created but he chose to betray his Creator. It was his choice, Jiyong! You don’t have to live as a shadow just because you were born one! You choose who you want to be or how you want to live your life! It’s YOUR CHOICE!”

 

“Well, it’s my choice to end this stupid and useless association of ours! I’m done with you already!”

 

“You don’t mean that. . . .” she denied.

 

“Do I have to beg you on my knees so you’ll set me free?”

 

Dara shook her head and clutched her aching chest. She burst out crying harder when Jiyong went down on his knees.

 

“I’m begging you Dara, let me go”

 

Her knees shook, making her lean her hand on the wall. “I-I’m s-sorry for being a burden to y-you” she said in between her cries. “I’m so sorry. . .”

 

She desperately ran out of the house. She was trying her very best to keep herself up right. She knew any moment that she will finally give in but she needs to get away first. She needs to get away. . . .

 

She leaned her hand on the car as soon as she reached it for support. The pain in her chest was getting worse every second. Every part of her body felt like she’s being crushed. It hurts so much that the thought of death brushed her mind. Oh yes, she’d welcome that than continue feeling this crushing pain.

 

“Dara?” a soft voice called. “I was just passing by when I saw you. Are you alright?”

 

She looked sideways and saw Jaejoong.

 

“What happened?” he asked upon fully seeing her face.

 

Without thinking, she ran to him and seek the comfort of his arms. She wasn’t able to hold on it any longer. She weakly leaned on him and cried her eyes out. He, on the other hand, ran his hand up and down her back to soothe her. Then, he glanced sideways and saw a figure behind the window. He gave the tiniest little nod to the person. After that, the curtain was pulled down. As much as he wants to hurt the other guy for making Dara cry, he can’t. And besides, Dara needs him more right now.