Do listen to this piano piece when you read, it helps to build the mood.

Yiruma -Falling (NocturnePerson) 

“This can’t be happening......tell me the doctors are lying”

“Minho’s hand can’t be paralysed.............he just had a fall because of his low blood sugar...how could his arm became paralysed because of such a trivial matter, this must be a joke........the doctors must have diagnosed wrongly............... I can’t believe all these.......it’s ridiculous”

“Yeobo....calm down........stop acting hysterical, it won’t change the fact that Minho can’t play the piano anymore. His nerves are damaged due to the fall.......wake up, darling....you’ve to be strong now. We’re his parents; we have to support him through this ordeal...... Come on, give me a smile, the surgeons said Minho would be awake soon after the anaesthesia wears off. Let’s go and see him now.......”

“Sob…….sob……............”

“hush………..yeobo…………hush….don’t cry……….”

‘Sniff…….sniff…….jajiya…………..please”

“.........let’s not tell Minho about his condition........let him recover from the surgery first or not he would definitely break down because of the news. You know how much he loved to play the piano.....how much he wanted to become a pianist..........”

“uhm……we’ll tell him when time comes, don’t worry……”

“Sob…………sniff…………sob…………..Minho-ah, mianhae, I’m really sorry..........umma is useless, I can’t safeguard your dream, I can’t stop the surgeons from operating on your arm.....I can’t protect you………..mianhae” 

“Yeobo.......Don’t cry, Minho will understand our decision to save his life…..he would understand what we did is all for his own good……….”

“Sob………..sob………….”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trickling tears had flown dry from my swollen eyes but trails of rivulets formed were still fresh on my skin and seeing my foggy reflection staring back at me, I could imagine how frail and dishevelled I was without looking at its clear image. It was hard to dismiss the fact that I had been standing here for hours; gawping at myself hoping the person in front of me was someone else. Hoping that I was still dreaming and the conversation I heard of my parents were part of my reverie.

How I hope that I am still the Choi Minho from before and not the misty figure in the mirror. Lifting up my mobile arm, I reached out to turn off the faucet to stop the swishing sound of the warm water I had used to conceal my wailing. Inhaling in a deep breath, I wiped my palm across the hazy panel, knowing that eventually I would need to face myself, I can’t hide forever.

With every trembling , the outline of my face became clear. Furrowing my eyebrow, I stared at my unkempt self which was in a really pathetic state. My dark black locks were greasy and messy and it was sticking to my skull, honestly, I can’t even remember the last time I’ve washed it. My bloodshot eyes were dreary with dark black eye bags weighting it down. My skin was tinted with an unhealthy shade of yellow and grey. It was hard to believe that I have lost so much weight within weeks and it made me utterly speechless.

I hate my reflection, it was making me want to puke and without hesitation I crashed my fist onto the mirror causing it to crack with streaks of irregular lines radiated out across it. Pain pricked my knuckles as I continue to strike the panel until it was coated red blurring my form. Only then did I finally notice what I had done and let down my aching fist, I allowed droplets of fresh blood to dribble onto the tiles.

 Gazing at the fragments of my distorted self scattered on the sink. I picked up a razor sharp piece of broken mirror. Clutching it tightly between my quivering fingers, I brought it towards my bandaged arm and draw a deep slit across my wrist causing a straight long divide to part across my amber skin as beads of rich crimson fluid flowed furiously through the delicately wrought wound.

Waiting for the pain to befall, it didn’t no matter how long I have waited and my heart that was throbbing went cold because I know it’s about time I accept the truth that is gaping back at me. My arm is paralysed, it could not sense any form of sensation or pain anymore regardless of what I did to it. Even if I bleed to death, I would not feel anything…..

Heaving a distraught growl, I knew there was something I wanted to do this very moment. I want to see the sunset from the horizon for the every last time before I leave this world, leave this place that has nothing left for me to aim for. Nothing to hold me back in its embrace…….

Taking heavy steps, I didn’t know how I’ve managed to walk myself up the roof of the hospital. I didn’t know how long I been there, only to know the fact that the once azure sky filled with white clouds had turned burgundy with streaks of pink as the sun sets from afar. Dusk was coming as the temperature dropped and I was freezing in the autumn cold that was shaking my brittle bones.

I know it was about time for me to go. Hesitantly, I glanced down at the all the tall buildings within my vicinity, an indescribable fear jolted through my veins. Biting on my lips, I closed my exhausted eyelids as I let shattered memories filled my thoughts……..

Minho… Just jump.

It’s easy

Easier than living in this world

You will be free.

Come…just jump on the count of three

1……

2…..

3……

Jump…..

“No…………..”

“Don’t……………….” A frantic scream pierced my eardrum as I felt a familiar pair of slender hands encircling my waist so tightly that it was hard for me to breath.  “Don’t Minho hyung……”

His desperate voice made my heart cringed in pain, forcing tears to water down my cheeks as I felt the back of my shirt staining wet with his hot tears. Just hearing his voice caused my heart to skip a beat and that was how much I’ve missed him. I missed him so much but it wasn’t my wish to see him now, not when I’ve decided to end my life. I didn’t want him to see me like this…………

“Let go of me, Taemin……” I shrieked through gritted teeth as I tried to pry away his grip with one hand but his strength was stronger than mine. I totally don’t even have any means to struggle and break free from him. When have I’ve become so weak, weaker than Taemin, the lad I vowed to protect? When have I slide so deep into the brim of dismal?

“Please, let me die………..” I wailed uncontrollably as I continued to put up a fruitless fight.

“Hyung…..don’t…….don’t give up……….let my hands be yours……….”

“Don’t leave me ……Minho hyung……………”

“Forget it, it’s too late…….Taemin……….” I cried desolately, flinching his grip away and leap off into the embrace of freedom beneath me as heaven called my name.

“Nooooo……….”

“MINHO HYUNG……………”

“Thump……….”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“AH…….” I gasped as I jolted up in from bed, breaking out in cold sweat. Pulling the covers away, I wiped off the bobs of perspiration on my forehead with the back of my hands as I crawled out of bed silently, trying not to alarm the quiet figure beside me that was still in deep sleep.

It’s just a nightmare, Minho……....I muffled under my breath, trying to calm my tense emotions but nothing seems to work as I knew the dream I’ve had wasn’t just an illusion. It was the reality I always hoped for. If only I was firmer that day and not wavered in his words or succumbed to my own weakness.  Maybe I wouldn’t be here anymore and he would have been free from my clutches. He would have been able to do the things he loved and not be living a life he dreaded.

Maybe the dream is a reminder to me that it’s about time I should leave him. I shouldn’t continue to place my happiness on top of his misery. He should have the chance to be happy in his life without me as his burden anymore.

Making up my mind to leave him, I went into my study room and fish out the music composition I written for him and placed it on the table before settling down on the chair and started scribbling on a piece of paper.

Taemin-ah,

                       Mianhae. There are a lot of things I wanted to say to you personally but I don’t think I have the chance anymore, I’m leaving Minnie and you don’t have to come searching for me. I won’t do anything foolish like before, I know how precious life is now since I have you by my side all these years. You made me felt blessed to be breathing because I love waking up in bed with you in my arms. Glancing at you…my angelic sleeping beauty, I’ve always longed to press a sweet kiss on your lips, waiting patiently for your eyelids to flicker open and your cheeks to blush bashfully pink.

                    Honestly, I want to be with you forever but I know I can’t be so selfish. I know being with me makes you feel miserable and I have been really apologetic for everything I have put you through. It is about time I should set you free. I’m thankful for everything you done for me. Taemin-ah, I really want you to be happy so from today onwards please live your life for yourself. Don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t like anymore. You don’t have to be a pianist for my sake, I’ve learnt to move on and don’t worry about me, I will use the rest of my life to find another dream to live for and you should too.  

                 Lastly, before I go I want to give you this music composition. It’s a melody I’ve written for you many years ago. I’ve named it….Destiny of love. I have always believed we were destined to love each other in this lifetime but……….I guessed it’s too hard after all……I’m sorry…………..

To the Minnie I’ll always love

From your most beloved Minho hyung

Vagel_91:

                    Another chapter done, I hope you are still reading this. The story will be coming to an end soon, I hope you've like everything written so far.

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