His boots slid over the icy sidewalk as he ran as fast as he could away from the hospital. His blood pumped quickly through his body. Gasping breaths rung in his ears as he tore through the white clouds he produced.

            He felt like he could run forever. He would have to run forever if he wanted to get away from his past.

            When the hospital was completely out of his sight JongHyun slowly began to reconnect with the real world. The sound of cars was accentuated as well as the sound of his hard, pounding footsteps.

            “Hyung! JongHyun hyung!” Key yelled desperately. His mouth felt dry with the effort it took to breathe. There was a reason he had skipped gym class in high school! “Hyung!” he somehow managed to choke out again. His foot caught on a jutting piece of sidewalk and he tumbled after JongHyun. Finally, he’d ceased running and allowed Key a chance to regain his footing.

            The two stood in the middle of the sidewalk gasping for oxygen. Key’s lungs burned in angry protest as he inhaled cold air into them. It was like a thousand tiny needles were stabbing into his organs – revenge for making them work twice as hard.       

            “What was that?” Key demanded when his tongue finally unwrapped itself from the icy tendrils of the cold outdoors.

            JongHyun turned to face his boyfriend and shot him and apologetic look. In his haste to rush out of there he’d forgotten that he’d been pulling Key along behind him. Judging by his flushed face and heaving chest the run hasn’t been easy for him.

            “I’m sorry,” he apologized.

            “Sorry won’t regulate my heartbeat,” Key snapped. He wanted to take back his words as soon as he said them. JongHyun was already going through a lot and his temper wasn’t going to help anything. Sometimes he just couldn’t control his attitude.

            “Sorry… I can’t control my anger sometimes…” Key mumbled quietly. He hung his head in shame over his actions.

            Seconds later he felt two hands settle on his waist and tug him towards him. Glancing up Key was met with a semi-forced smile on JongHyun’s face.

            He said, “Don’t worry about it… You’re cute when you’re mad.”

            “I should get angry with you more often then,” Key said. He flashed a cheeky grin to the elder and lit up when they were pressed with a kiss. “Seriously, though, hyung… What was all that about?”

            JongHyun’s face drooped slightly. His hands moved from Key’s waist and back to his hand.

            “Let’s go home,” he said, ignoring Key’s question.

            Afraid to push JongHyun too far Key could do nothing but follow like a faithful boyfriend. They walked into the empty store and the familiar bells greeted them. As they ascended the stairs they could hear Onew clamouring about in the kitchen. With all that was going on JongHyun hadn’t even noticed that it was time for supper. The blue sky was slowly transitioning to a rich orange and blush pink outside as the sun settled down for its nap.

            “We’re home!” JongHyun called while kicking off his sneakers.

            “I’m making chicken! I hope you’re not hungry!” Onew yelled from the kitchen.

            The humour in his lame joke couldn’t be left unrecognized. The two boys praised his gag with their laughter and joined their hyung.

            “Need any help?” Key asked out of politeness.

            “No thanks. You two go clean up; I’ll be done in about fifteen minutes,” Onew dismissed.

            JongHyun wasn’t about to complain about that. Already sensing that Key was going to persist on his offer he pulled him away to his room like a child running away from his parents.

            With the door fully closed and out of the eye of the public JongHyun took the opportunity to give Key a proper kiss. His lips moulded perfectly with Key’s and moved in harmony. The little pecks he gave to him were tossed aside, replaced with the real loving ones that they both enjoyed so much. When they both began to feel a shortage of air they pulled apart.

            “What was that for?” Key asked breathlessly.

            “Just felt like it,” JongHyun said.

            He dragged Key over to the bed, sitting down on it. His body stretched out like a cat would after a nap. Key couldn’t help but study the quivering muscles underneath the fabric of his shirt. It made him wonder how he got so lucky.

            Taking a seat by JongHyun a bit shyly, Key asked, “Tired?”

            “Sort of…” he mumbled. His eyes were fixated on a picture posed on his nightstand. All the smiling faces of his family and TaeMin’s stared back at him. In his mind he compared his mother’s face in the picture to the one he had seen in the hospital waiting room.

            JongHyun remembered the times before he’d gotten into that argument with his father. His mother used to take care of him when he was sick. His little sister’s annoying morning voice and that little dog Roo he’d given her yapping away with her. As much as it pained him to admit it, he did miss them… He missed them a lot.

            The need to be comforted hit him hard. It came out of nowhere, suddenly clamping its venomous tendrils around JongHyun. He felt vulnerable to the outside world like as if he was slowly succumbing to frost bite.

            Since Key was the closest to him, JongHyun crawled in a circle and rested his head on Key’s lap. The younger boy was surprised at the odd action at first, but understanding crept in. His fingers raked tenderly through his spiky hair. He watched as JongHyun’s eyes slowly closed and he relaxed.

            Feeling like this was the right time to get things off his chest, JongHyun mumbled, “That was my mom…”

            Key was startled by the voice and even more concerned about the sad tone drowning it. However, he too felt like this was an intense moment where the last of JongHyun’s secrets were finally to be revealed.

            He said, “Oh yeah?” His fingers continuing their methodical movements.

            “Yeah… I haven’t seen her in months… A year almost… Or talked to her… or any of my family really,” JongHyun continued.

            “Why not?”

            “We got into a big fight – my dad and I. He wanted me to quit school and join the family business. The only reason they were paying school for me then was because my mom had begged him to… And then one night during one of the huge parties we always threw with TaeMin’s family we got into a huge fight over school…”

            “What happened after that?”

            “It was my sister’s birthday so we tried to keep it down, but we were both so mad… There was hitting… I’d be lying if I said we both hadn’t been drinking that night. I’m sure everyone heard us, too. I ended up leaving with his car… Drunk driving, smart, huh?” JongHyun let out a bitter laugh that jostled Key’s leg slightly. “I hit a woman… She wasn’t seriously hurt, but I got caught and went to jail for a while before I was finally able to get out on bail. The last time I saw my family it was when I was fighting with my father about my jail stay… I ran away that night. Took all my things and left. He cancelled my credit card and stopped paying for school. Had TaeMin not helped me out a bit I would have probably been living on the streets…”

            Key’s heart wrenched in his chest. His hands briefly stopped moving in JongHyun’s hair as he looked back on their first encounter. He’d been so mean to JongHyun, treating him like crap even when he’d cared for him after getting beat up by MinHo. He’d had all these things tearing him apart and he had done nothing to make it better.

            A gently touch to his cheek snapped Key out of his disconcerting thoughts. He brought down his gaze to stare into JongHyun’s eyes now opened and staring at him intently.

            “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

            Key chewed his lip nervously before confessing, “How awful I used to be with you…”

            The smallest of smiles graced JongHyun’s lips. “Hey, you’re good now. We’re good now and the past doesn’t matter anymore,” he consoled.

            The story JongHyun had just told Key came back to him. “It does matter, though,” he whispered.