“THAT WAS THE BEST!!!!” Haeryun was squealing as the concert came to a close. She started to drag you through the massive crowd chattering on about Taeyang. You tried to listen but you were in an amazing mind numbing haze.  You just saw Taeyang in concert! And you were going to congratulate him, in person, what could be better? ‘His body’  yeah you had to agree with your mind the last few songs with his shirt off had been quite spectacular. “I know Taeyang’s a god but seriously those abs are really killer.”

Involuntarily you said the first thought that came to your mind when thinking about Taeyang’s abs, “I just want to touch them.” Haeryun grinned slyly at you and quickly pulled you along. A sense of dread filled your mind. You knew whenever she got that look something unpleasant (usually for yourself) happened.  She dragged you roughly through the crowd unaware of you being shoved into people.

You tried to quickly mumble out shille hamnida to everyone you pushed but it was a lost cause.  You just sighed knowing resistance was futile. Once you were backstage Haeryun finally let your arm recover from the rough treatment. You stopped to massage your shoulder when suddenly a backstage manager came up to you speaking rapidly in Korean. You pointed to Haeryun and noticed she was gone. She must have thought you were still behind her and kept walking. You tried to get past him but he signaled for a bodyguard. You tried explaining in English hoping he understood “Wait I’m supposed to be back here.”

He looked at you realization dawning on him. “Ooooh.” he nodded and then grabbed your arm leading you somewhere. You were still backstage so you were hoping he was taking you to where Haeryun was. You tried looking through the crowd of people but you couldn’t see anything. He hurriedly ushered you down a hallway towards a room filled with girls.

Confused, you were about to ask him why you were here when he began speaking to everyone in the room… in Korean which didn’t help you. You tried to follow him out when another bodyguard blocked the entrance.

“Let me out!” you were getting frustrated you didn’t understand why you were there. Unable to make him budge you stomped away. You sat down on one of the chairs lined against the wall. You looked around at the other girls. They were huddled in clusters talking excitedly. Many had posters, cds, and signs with them. You noticed that all of them had VIP written on the lanterns around their necks. Your mouth made an Oh shape as you realized this must be a fan signing. Your dismay quickly turned to glee. You were a fan and relished the chance of getting Taeyang’s signature. Unfortunately you remembered you didn’t bring anything for him to sign. You grimaced; things were not working out for you tonight. Then the table across the room caught your eye. Little posters of Taeyang were laid out for fans to grab. You rushed over and were about to grab several.

“Oh one per person.” You looked up as one of the staff spoke to you (you assumed since she was handling the table).

“Oh okay.” You were in a debate on whether to get the poster with Taeyang’s chocolate abs or a close up of his lovely face and eye smile. Before you could decide deafening screams resounded through the room as Mr. Eye Smile himself came in. You grabbed the one closest to you as you were ushered into the line of fan girls all swooning after Taeyang. It became silent when he began speaking. The cruel language barrier stood between you while he spoke but you assumed it was something about how great the fans were because they all began screaming again when he was done. Then the fan signing started. You waited in line patiently. It must have been an exclusive signing since there were less than 30 people there including you. You shuffled up to the table when it was your turn and set down your poster. You looked at it and noticed it was the chocolate abs one. Suddenly you regretted not choosing the eye smile.

Taeyang looked up at you smiling then quickly went into a surprised face. You were both speechless for a second. You awkwardly tried to explain, “Sorry it was kind of an accident I’m here. They wouldn't let me leave so I I couldn’t get out to find Haeryun.” You nervously laughed.

He started laughing uncontrollably, “Omo! I’m sorry…” he recovered himself and continued on “Haeryun was looking for you everywhere.”

“I’m sorry.” You said bowing up and down.

“Aniyo!” He said and reached to make you stop, “Really it’s nothing. Here I’ll have my manager you to her.” He ushered his manager over. You turned back though to grab your poster. “Wait do you want me to sign that?” You looked up at him smiling and then down at your picture. You blushed and handed it to him quickly trying to avoid eye contact. You heard him chuckle a little. He handed the photo to you still doing his eye smile. You stuttered thank you  and practically bolted out the door.

‘Yep, even though I’ve spent a little time with them I think I will forever be that embarrassing fan girl…’ You sighed the prospect of that did not please you one bit. Taeyang’s manager led you to the room where Haeryun and the rest of Bigbang were.

“OH! There you are!” Haeryun jumped up from where she was sitting and dragged you back to the couch. “I thought you were lost. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”  

You smacked your head, “I’m sorry I put it on silent and didn’t even think to check it.” ‘Wow… I’m really dumb sometimes…’

You pulled it out and saw ten messages light up the screen. You sheepishly apologized. “It’s alright at least your okay… Hey what’s that?” She pointed to the picture in your hand.

“Oh its nothing just a picture.” She quickly snatched it out of your hand. Her eyebrows shot up and she grinned devilishly. “Now I know where you went.”

“What is it?” Seungri reached for the picture and began grinning. “If you wanted this type of picture I could have supplied you with one… maybe even a couple.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and winked.

Daesung, Jiyong, and Top crowded around Seungri to look at the picture. You grabbed it too late though, you already knew they had seen it. You hid your face behind your hands.

“Aigoo! So cute.” Seungri came and wrapped and arm around you, “Do you want to see mine?” He began to slowly lift his shirt.

“Ya!” Top suddenly grabbed the maknae away. Everyone looked up startled at him.

“No one wants to see that.” He replied. You looked at Haeryun and saw her grinning at Top. He saw her and coughed turning away. Taeyang came in saving you from the awkward atmosphere in the room.

“Hey hyung why’d you give ______ that picture.” Seungri pointed at the picture in your hands.

Taeyang looked at you and smiled, “She chose that one.” You could feel yourself flush.  

“I know why too!” You turned to Haeryun surprised.

“Oh, why!?” Seungri excitedly asked. You saw Haeryun’s grin and knew you had to get out of there.

“Um… excuse me I have to go right now.” You tried to back up and run away but Haeryun grabbed your arm.

“Taeyang can I ask you a favor please? And you have to say yes okay?”

Taeyang looked at Haeryun deciding whether it would be better to agree or not. “It won’t be bad will it?”

She shook her head no and leaned in to whisper in his ear. He began chuckling and said “Chincha?”

She nodded and then Taeyang turned to you grinning. You could see his face turn a little red but he moved toward you and lifted his shirt revealing those awesome abs that made people drool.

You stood there paralyzed. You looked at Haeryun then at Taeyang and then at those abs. They were like delicious food that you couldn’t look away from.

“You can touch them now, I know you want to.” Haeryun grinned at you motioning you forward. You tried to walk away but she shoved you toward him. You stumbled from the shove and put your hands out landing on Taeyang’s shoulders.

“Oh…” you backed away a little.

“It’s alright, go ahead.” He pointed at his abs. “Not very many people get this opportunity. Haeryun has already done it, many times might I add." He looked at her sternly which made you laugh. "So I’m used to it.” You looked at them and poked one. *drools* ‘There as great as I imagined.’ You then backed away and glared at Haeryun. She was going to get it from you when you got back to your dorms.

“Hyung you let her touch Taeyang’s and not mine!” Seungri turned to Top pouting. You looked toward Top and noticed him looking at you. His face was blank not giving anything away. He turned toward Seungri and coolly shrugged his shoulders. Then he walked past not glancing back. “Hyung!” Seungri was about to follow him but Jiyong grabbed his arm and shook his head gently. Jiyong turned his eyes towards you.  You looked down and flushed. You somehow felt guilty. You looked up again, but why should you feel guilty?

“Well that was fun.” Haeryun clapped her hands dispelling the weird atmosphere you felt. “Let’s go home I’m sure everyone here is tired.” Everyone nodded in agreement. “Thanks for letting us come tonight.” Haeryun went and gave Taeyang a hug.

“No problem.” He gave her his eye smile. She went around and gave the rest a hug, except Seungri.

“Ya! What about me!”

She just smirked at him. “Do you want one?” He nodded his head.

She sighed, “Fine.” She limply gave him a hug. In turn he grabbed her and gave her a big Panda hug.

“Ya, Seungri! Put me down!” She was laughing as she hit him playfully.

She then turned to you, “Well aren’t you going to hug them bye?”

“Should I?” She laughed.

“Of course” she gently pushed you toward Daesung.

You smiled at him. He just opened his arms smiling wide. You laughed as he wrapped his arms around you. It wasn’t as awkward as you imagined it would be, which was a relief to you. Taeyang was next and although it was embarrassing after the abs incident it wasn’t that painful. Seungri gave you a Panda hug too which left you laughing. You went to give Jiyong a hug; he smiled at you but it seemed a bit dull not really reaching his eyes. He hugged you impersonally. You were taken aback but hid it. You both turned to go waving good bye.

On the way back you two didn’t say anything. You looked at Haeryun who seemed to pondering something. She finally spoke when you entered your dorm.

“Would you ever date anyone in Bigbang?” You looked at her surprised.

“Would you?”

“You first.”

She looked at you expectantly. Well would you? You had never really thought about it. Well you had in that fan girl part of you, that delusional part that every K-pop fan had of them and their bias but you had never really imagined the possibility of it actually happening. Idols were meant to be off limits that’s what made them so alluring. “Well I don’t know. Even if I could it would be impossible.”

“I’m not saying if you could but would you honestly start a relationship with one of them?”

If you thought about it they were human, just human, so would it be that far-fetched to date one of them? You were human, they were human, and so in all actuality it could work. It would be extremely tough but it could work. Love could concur all right?

“Yeah I would. Well if I actually started developing strong feelings towards them.”

“Oh… So you don’t like any of them at the moment?”

You looked at her quirking your eyebrows. “Well I mean I do like them but I think my fan girl emotions cloud my judgment right now.”

“Oh…” She looked at you again about to say something then holding back.

“What?”

“So if you got to know them more… you might… possibly date one of them?”

“Yeah sure… wouldn’t you?” This line of questioning was weirding you out.

“Yeah of course!” She said it like a crazed fan which made you laugh. She switched subjects suddenly and said, “Well I’m pooped let’s get some sleep.”

Still confused you just let go. Climbing into bed you curled up in your blankets mumbling in agreement your thoughts already getting fuzzy.

‘Who would I want to date in Bigbang… Hmmmm…’ before you could thoroughly think about it you had already drifted off.