You woke up to knocking on your door. You yawned and turned toward the clock. It was 1 in the afternoon. “I slept longer than I should have’ you thought. The knocking persisted and you heard Haeryun call out, “Hello? Are you awake yet?”

You yelled back, “Hold on I’m coming!” You decided not to put on a robe as you rushed to the door. You had just slept in your undergarments. Haeryun said she always forgot to stash pj’s at the hotel for nights like last night. The knock grew louder and you irritably answered while opening the door, “Haeryun how do you not have a key when this is your hotel?” Haeryun was on the other side of the door but so was the rest of Bigbang. You looked down at yourself then looked at them and then slammed the door shut and screamed.

‘OH MY GOD!!!! I’ll never be able to face any of them again!’ You heard a soft knock then Haeryun quickly whispering through the door. “Hey, _______ let me in!”

Mortified you ran and got a robe. Then hiding behind the door you slowly opened it for Haeryun.  Haeryun shuffled in and tried to stifle her laughter. She saw your face though and burst out laughing. That only made you more embarrassed. Haeryun started wiping tears from her eyes.

Finally controlling herself she said “I’m sorry but you should have seen your face.” You glared at her not amused. “Aw come on, hey at least  your wearing some y lace undergarments.” She playfully smirked at you. You grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at her.

“Hey! I’m glad you’re finding sick enjoyment out of my humiliation!” Haeryun quickly dodged the pillow grenade and started rifling through her bag. You continued to glare at her while she tossed several pieces of clothing onto the bed.

“Here can you put this on for me.” She shoved a rose colored summer dress at you.

“Wha-” You were cut off as a pair of ballet flats hit you on the head. “OW!”

“Omo sorry.” Haeryun sheepishly grinned at you. “I got excited cause I packed the perfect outfit for you” She grinned at you smugly. You just raised an eyebrow,‘This is very fishy’ you thought.

Obligingly you put the clothes on. Haeryun looked you over and smiled satisfied. “Wait I almost forgot, here.” She pulled out a matching rose colored flower headband. She finished securing it in your hair and let you look in the mirror. You usually didn’t wear flowery dresses but Haeryun had a knack for clothes and you had to hand it to her the outfit was amazing.

Haeryun looked at her watch and panicked, “Crap! I said I’d only be five minutes! We have to go!” She grabbed your wrist and yanked you to the elevator.

“Ow! You almost ripped my arm out of its socket. And where are we going anyway?”

Smiling brightly she replied, “We’re going to watch Taeyang perform.”

You looked at her dumbstruck for a moment, “Wait. What?”

She chuckled again and said, “Taeyang’s concert, we’re going to see that.”

You didn’t say anything too surprised. Then it finally sunk in and you spazzed out. You started screaming and jumping up and down. Haeryun joined you. The elevator stopped but you and Haeryun were too busy fan girling together. The doors then opened to reveal Seunghyun and Jiyong waiting outside. You both stopped when you heard a slight cough. Struck you both turned to see Jiyong doing his gum smile and laughing. You looked at Top to see his big dimpled grin. When he saw you looking he quickly frowned, “You kept us waiting.” You looked down uncomfortable.

Haeryun rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Please you are the guys you should have to wait for the women.”

Jiyong laughed again and you looked at him instantly smiling. How could you resist that boyish grin?

“Well let’s go!” Haeryun grabbed you and Jiyong’s arms leading you out to the van.

Seungri and Daesung were already waiting for you. You were suddenly struck with your horrifying moment earlier and stopped all tensed up. Jiyong gently moved you forward before the other members noticed and quietly with laughter in his voice whispered, “Its okay I made sure that they won’t say anything, especially that womanizer over there.” He flicked his eyes over to Seungri. You were still mortified but felt better knowing Jiyong made sure that it would never be mentioned again.

“Finally you took forever!” Seungri complained loudly to Haeryun.

“We don’t take as long as you do! As I recall you take two hours to get ready.”

“Beauty takes time!” Seungri quickly retorted.

“Well then you need more time” Haeryun shot back. You bit your lip to keep from laughing.

Seungri huffed but then saw you, “Hey _____ sit next to me!”

“Hey maknae!” Jiyong hit Seungri on the head.

“Ya! Hyung!” Jiyong shook his head and got in the back. Seungri motioned for you to go first so you sat by Jiyong in the middle. Seungri was about to get in after when Seunghyun held him back.

“Hyung what are you doing?”

“You should let your hyung’s get in first.” Top proceeded to get in and sit beside you. Seungri pretended to be shocked then hurt.

“Ya Seungri! Just get in already!” Haeryun was tapping her foot impatiently. Daesung sighed exaggeratingly and moved past Seungri and got in. Haeryun smirking followed suit leaving Seungri on the curb, “If you don’t hurry we’ll leave you behind!” He quickly scrambled in the van as it started pulling away. You smiled. You were going to see Taeyang AND you were going to see him with the rest of Bigbang! The giddiness of your situation suddenly made you giggle. You gasped and covered your mouth. No one seemed to say anything so you were hoping it was drowned out by Seungri and Haeryun talking. You sneaked a peek at Jiyong and locked eyes with him. He was smirking at you. You jerked your head away knowing he heard you. You continued looking ahead but felt eyes on you. You looked toward Top and quickly saw him shift his head toward the window. You didn’t know if he had been looking at you so you just turned to the front again.

Suddenly the van hit a pot hole and you were jolted up. Trying to right yourself you reached for the something near you which happened to be, Seunghyun’s leg. You righted yourself and in doing shifted your hand up his thigh. Suddenly realizing where your hand was you looked down at your hand and quickly up at Seunghyun. His face was red and you could tell he was tensed up. You withdrew your hand so fast that you ended up hitting yourself. Unaware you turned to the front and sat there awkwardly.

You sat as stiff as a bored mentally wanting the agony of the situation to be over. Luckily you made it to the concert venue shortly. The van stopped and you watched as Seunghyun basically leaped out of the van. You looked at everyone else bewildered they all looked just as confused and just shrugged.

Brushing it off you entered the backstage of the show. It was all chaotic with people rushing everywhere. You stopped taking it all in. You were backstage at Taeyang’s concert. You were in complete bliss.

Haeryun grabbed your arm, “Come on let’s go get our seats.”

“Oh we’re not staying back here?”

“Of course not. We’re going to get the full experience.” You waved to the other members as you were dragged to the concert hall.

You stood in awe rooted to your spot as the concert unfolded. Taeyang had a fire and charisma on stage. You already knew that but in person seeing him dance and sing, it was different. You could tell the stage and fans were his life. He fed off the fans and in turn the fans fed off of him.

“He’s amazing isn’t he?” You jumped suddenly as a deep voice vibrated behind you. You turned already knowing that Choi Seunghyun was there. He was watching Taeyang with an awe like fascination too.  You looked at him with a quizzical expression. How could he, Choi Seunghyun, Bigbang’s Top be in awe when he, himself lived that very experience almost every day. He suddenly looked down at you, unable to keep his gaze you looked away feeling awkward.

“It’s funny I know… that I should be amazed at Youngbae. But it’s not that hard. He has an ease about him, a confidence that shines out like the sun I would say.” He smiled almost to himself while watching the performance.  You had stopped to watch him. His gaze and words swept you away from the concert. Everything else disappeared as he stood before you his words were all that you could hear. Nothing else mattered to you. Top was showing you a glimpse of himself, a very vulnerable, fragile glimpse.

 “I guess that’s why we call him Taeyang. It’s odd really, I know people say that being a singer is all about confidence and ability to show that on stage, but I find it to be when I’m at my most vulnerable, so I think I try to over compensate. Youngbae show’s his confidence and vulnerability so easily. I envy him because of that.” He was staring almost longingly at Taeyang. It made your breath catch. You sensed he shared something with you he had never told anyone. You wanted to say something wise and philosophical but nothing came up. You were still trying to process his confession. ‘Aish! Why must my mind go blank now!’ He then looked down at you and blinked as if seeing you again.

He timidly scratched his head and coughed nervously like he was embarrassed of his sudden confession to you. “Uh… I should probably get back before someone recognizes me out here.” You wanted to say something anything!

“Wait…” He stopped and looked at you waiting.

“I’m glad you told me that.” You were mentally kicking yourself. ‘Really that’s the best you have!?’

“You should be proud of yourself. A lot of people can’t even get on stage because their afraid of their vulnerability. Having that ability alone shows your more confident in yourself than you realize.”

You tensed up a little afraid he would laugh at you. He suddenly showed a boyish grin and shyly lowered his eyes. You were shocked for a minute Choi Seunghyun was getting bashful. You broke out in a grin suppressing a giggle.

He abruptly bowed and mumbled, “Thanks” and swiftly walked away disappearing into the crowd. You were left there confused but you thought about what had happened and felt a very giddy and stupid grin appear on your face. You were called back to the very wild and loud concert before you when Haeryun yanked you forward to see Taeyang rip his shirt off suddenly.

Your mind went blank then you started wildly screaming like all the other fans, enjoying the amazing iness before your eyes. You didn’t have any more time to go over the moments with Seunghyun as your mind was filled with Taeyang, his body, his voice, and the electric atmosphere of the night.