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"I'm home." Jong In greets his mom as soon as he arrives home. " Jong In-ah, come have lunch !" Jong In shook his head. "I'm not hungry eomma, maybe later." Jong In's mother looked at him worriedly. " Is everything okay? " Jong In forces a smile. " Yeah im fine ! Don't have to worry ! " he hurries up the stairs. His mother looks at him and sighed. He was like this since that incident happened. Deep down, she knows why he is behaving like this.

Jong In stepped out the shower and put on his clothes. While he fumbled to dry his hair, his eyes stopped on a picture that was hug on his bedroom wall. He slowly uses his fingers to trace this picture, as his heart sank deeper and deeper. Sometimes, he would even shed a tear while looking at this particular photo. It contained so much memories, so much feeling, so much love. Breaking out from his silence, he groaned. " it, just this." He couldn't control how hard this is. He walked to his dance room that was specially made for him to practice dancing. Since young, Jong In was always passionate about dancing. If he had a bad day, all he had to do was just dance the pain away. But of course, he knew that this was not like any other bad days. This was something that has been hanging on to him, haunting him with all the pain.

His body leaned forward, as his body responded to the music. The song was slow and sad, just like how he was feeling. Completely losing himself in the dance, Jong In moved his hips and his arms followed the tempo. He wanted to drown in his footsteps. He wanted to forget everything that was hurting him. He wanted to stop this misery. He wanted to stop feeling. He wanted to stop loving. But he just couldn't. He suddenly fell, hands landing on the floor and supporting his body. Tears started to roll down from his cheeks. Without a warning, he started crying his heart out. He yelled between his tears, and then buried his face into his palms while his elbows stood on his knees. Too many feelings were going through his mind now. They were killing him slowly. He gasped for air after he managed to stop his tears. Softly, he started to sing with his raspy voice :

Geu saekkiboda naega motan ge mwoya
Dodaeche wae naneun gajil su eomneun geoya
Geu saekkineun neoreul saranghaneun ge anya
Eonjekkaji babogachi ulgoman isseul geoya

I love you.

He continued pouring out his tears after that. He punched the wall with his fists. No, he knew he could never have her again. His heart breaks into a million pieces just thinking of her smile. He picked himself up and started dancing again. This time the steps were all filled with anger. The footsteps were fast and strong, the look in his eyes so intense, trying to unleash the fire inside him. He tried to shut down his mind and just focused on the music. But he couldn't. He ended up on the floor, eyes full of sadness as he covered his face with his palms. He turned his body to one side and continued weeping. It was no use. No matter how many times he thought of her, it wouldn't and can never be the same again. Now that shes gone, he became nothing more than a wreck. This was why he started to treat people badly, because he lost his source of happiness. He lost the person he could be himself with. He lost his first love, the love of his life. He lost her.

" Should i just give up?"
 

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