Day 88

 

The past day was torture for Dara. Jiyong continuously became sweet towards her but she grew weary of everything that was happening between them. She wanted to confront him and ask what the hell was happening but at the same, it was something she wanted to avoid. That’s why she was avoiding him as much as she could. She didn’t want to think of it but being with him for almost every day didn’t help.

 

“Are you avoiding me?” a voice came behind her as she was washing the dishes.

 

Startled, she accidentally dropped the glass bowl, breaking it. With panic, she bent down to pick the broken glasses up, injuring herself.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Dara, are you alright?” Jiyong ran towards her, grabbing her wrist and checking her wound. “Aish, idiot! Why are you picking the broken pieces with your bare hands?” Jiyong clicked his tongue and pulled her up with him. “Sit here.”

 

“No,” Dara said, making Jiyong turn to her. “I’m fine. It’s just a wound.”

 

Jiyong furrowed his brows as Dara started to turn around to leave. “You’re indeed avoiding me.”

 

Dara stopped on her tracks and turned towards him. “I’m not, okay?”

 

“Then sit here and wait for me,” Jiyong instructed.

 

Dara shook her head and didn’t have a choice but to comply. She stared at her bleeding wound and cringe at the sight.

 

Jiyong returned with a first aid box. He sat beside her and started treating her wound in silence. Dara was looking away while he was treating her. She didn’t want to meet his gaze. It would just remind her of what she had been wondering and thinking for the past days.

 

When Jiyong finished wrapping a band aid on her finger, Dara almost immediately stood from her spot if not for Jiyong’s fast reflex as he grabbed her by her wrist.

 

“You’re indeed avoiding me,” Jiyong said, looking up at her.

 

“I still have lots of dishes to wash, Jiyong,” Dara said.

 

“The bowl which got broken was the last one to wash,” Jiyong said matter-of-factly. When Dara’s eyes lifted towards the sink, she realized he was right. She also realized another thing – that she was found out.

 

Breathing out, she turned to him. “I got no reasons to avoid you.”

 

“Really?” Jiyong asked, standing up and closing the gap between their faces.

 

Dara was fast to lean her head away, fidgeting and thinking of a way to get away from that awkward situation again.

 

“Are you uncomfortable because of how close I am to you?” he asked.

 

She didn’t answer and was going to step back when Jiyong held her by her back.

 

“Is your heart racing fast because of how close we are right now?” he asked again, his voice turning into a whisper.

 

True to his words, Dara’s heart was racing fast inside her chest. Her cheeks are getting warmer and beads of sweat are forming on her forehead. She tried not to look straight at him but her eyes are wandering towards his lips, as if they were inviting hers to his.

 

“Are you feeling confused as much as I do?” Jiyong asked, making Dara lift her eyes and meet his. There was confusion visible in his eyes – and much more, more emotions she couldn’t decipher.

 

Dara was able to step back and free herself from his grip. She shook her head, not wanting to give in. “I wasn’t avoiding you. I was just… just…” she bit her lip and looked around to find an excuse. Her eyes caught the calendar she kept by the side-table beside the couch where she used to have it as her bed. Besides the dates covered with cute stickers indicating the days she spent as his maid, there was a circled date which was tomorrow and she remembered what it was. “Ah, I was thinking of ways to approach you so that you could permit me to go to our band’s anniversary which is tomorrow!”

 

Jiyong’s brows furrowed and his eyes went to the calendar she was eyeing as well. “You just thought of it right now, didn’t you?”

 

“What?!” Dara laughed awkwardly. “Of course not. I have been thinking about it for days and I thought you would get mad if I would go, you know.”

 

Jiyong still looked skeptical and a little bit annoyed how he wasn’t able to make her give in. “Will there be boys?”

 

Dara frowned. “Of course.”

 

“Then you can’t go…”

 

“But, they’re just our friends! And we won’t do anything besides playing some songs and some drinking. I won’t drink much and won’t go into trouble. The boys wouldn’t even dare look at us or spare a glance. They would surely puke. I would too,” Dara said quickly.

 

Jiyong was giving her a hesitant stare as if weighing things. “Are you sure? Don’t sit next to them alright?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure! And… ugh,” Dara almost pulled her hair out of frustration. “I don’t even know why I’m explaining this and reassuring you about this. It’s not like we’re cou—“

 

Dara cut herself off when she realized what she was about to say.

 

“Anyway, don’t you ever think of coming with me. This is going to be exclusive. And you would be stealing the entire spotlight. Besides, I can do whatever I want tomorrow and not even you can stop me,” Dara said, turning away and starting to walk away towards the kitchen. Frowning, she murmured to herself, “He’s acting like a possessive boyfriend. It’s annoying.”

 

Left on his spot, he watched as she left.  After a while, he stomped his feet as he made his way to his bedroom. As soon as he stepped inside, he slammed the door shut behind him.

 

He was burning in anger, placing his hands on his hips.

 

“I was just concerned about you alright? Who says you can drink well? You get knock out immediately. Why wouldn’t I be worried about that?” he said, deliberately making his voice louder for her to hear him. He breathed deeply and repeatedly to calm himself down. And when he cooled down a little, another thought came to mind. This time, his voice became softer. “Why would you even rub it on my face as if my worries over you don’t even matter to you? You speak as if I don’t have the right to be worried over what possible things that might happen while you aren’t with me. As if I can’t be… jealous over your guy friends you knew way before me or over the guys you would meet tonight.”

 

His eyes then darted to the hanging calendar by the wall. He stared at the stickers-covered numbers indicating the days she had worked with him. The year was ending and it was time to flip the calendar to the next month where the circled date, which she probably was waiting to come sooner, would indicate the last day they would be together.

 

“Right. Because I didn’t have those rights. Because I’m just her boss. Because in a matter of twelve days, she’s going to leave this unit, continuing her education and living her life… without me in it,” he dropped to his bed, facing the calendar as if mocking him. He wanted to tear the calendar off the wall but he felt it was necessary for it to be there because besides it mocking him, it also served as a reminder for him of his rightful place, in case he would forget everything about this superficial thing surrounding the both of them, before he could even do things that might be against what he truly believed in.

 

“There shouldn’t be feelings involved between us,” he whispered to himself, knowing that he himself had violated it.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Day 89

 

Dara stared at herself at the full-length mirror and was satisfied at what she was wearing – a simple white tank top underneath her black leather jacket and black skinny jeans. She put the cap over her head and used it backwards, fixing her long wavy hair. She went to keep her already dusty guitar inside the guitar case and slung it over her shoulder. When she was completely ready, she stared at the studio room where Jiyong was. The door was closed and there was a messy handwritten sign hanging by the knob – “Don’t disturb me. Leave before I change my mind.”

 

Dara exhaled deeply. It was obvious he was mad at her, though she wasn’t sure why. She shook her head, promising to herself to enjoy the night with her band and friends and not worry about anything. She would be back to reality after a while. Might as well enjoy the night while you can, right?

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Jiyong heard the front door slam shut followed by the punching of the code to lock it. He covered his face with his hands and groaned loudly.

 

He had been sitting in his studio, not doing anything, ever since Dara went to the bathroom to take a bath few hours ago. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to think things through. Being in the same room last night didn’t help so it was the only time he could find to do it. Besides, what he said through the sign on the door was true. He might stop her from going if she let him know that she already left.

 

On the other hand, who said it would stop there though? He could always go and follow her right? Perhaps, hide in the shadows, keep a low profile, and not let her know?

 

“No, you are not going after her, idiot,” Jiyong told himself, pulling his hair as if it could erase the possible answer to his current state. “What if she will be in a club where there are a lot of guys who would approach her? What did she wear? Did she wear something y?”

 

Jiyong sat up from the swivel chair and almost was going to leave his seat.

 

“No, she wouldn’t wear a little black dress, right?” he told himself again, chuckling as if it was an impossible thing to happen. “But what if those boys she said were her friends thought of molesting her? Who said your friends can’t change right? Friends change, especially if you spend a long time away with each other.”

 

This time, Jiyong was already on his feet.

 

He shook his head. “No. I have to trust Dara with what she said about her friends. They’re probably truly good friends who wouldn’t think of ill things about them,” he said. “But what if she drank too much during the party and when she walks home, she’ll meet assaulters and then they’ll—“

 

Jiyong cut his thoughts off. He didn’t want to think of all the possible worse scenarios that might happen without him by her side.

 

He was quick enough to immediately transport from his studio room to his bedroom. He was even quicker to get changed to better and warmer clothes – a pair of pants, a hoodie, and the scarf she bought for him back in Japan.

 

When he finished, he stepped out of his room only to be shocked when he saw Dara almost heading out again. She had her eyes wondering when she saw him while Jiyong’s eyes were as wide as saucers as if he was just caught stealing something.

 

“I thought you left?” he asked.

 

“I left my guitar pick,” she said, showing the pick she left. “Are you going somewhere?”

 

Jiyong looked down at what he was wearing and gulped. Wasn’t this a déjà vu? Pleasant.

 

“No. The unit is cold so I dressed warmly. I was just planning to laze around and watch TV,” he said, sitting down at the couch to make it believable.

 

“O-kay. Then, I’m leaving now,” Dara said, facing the door when Jiyong stopped her.

 

“Wait!”

 

“What?” she asked, facing him again.

 

Jiyong was looking at her from head to toe, evaluating what she was wearing, causing her to be conscious.

 

“W-Why?”

 

“Good choice of clothes. Don’t ever remove that jacket alright?”

 

“Err, okay?” she responded and was going to leave again when Jiyong stopped her again.

 

“Wait!”

 

“What?!”

 

“You’re not going to a crowded place like a club right? Just the quiet club where you frequently play with your band?”

 

“Yes. I’m leaving now.”

 

“Wait! Are your guy friends really trustworthy?”

 

Dara frowned at him but answered him anyway. “We already talked about this right? Yes they are. I’ll send you their pictures tonight for you to believe me. They’re decent guys,” she said. “Now, can I leave?”

 

“No, not yet. Promise me you’ll ask one of your bandmates to drive you home. You’re not going to take a taxi or walk home alright?”

 

Dara placed her hands on her hips and exhaled curtly. But instead of arguing with him again, she let it slide. “Fine. I’ll ask Chaerin to drive me home but since she’ll wonder why I live in this luxurious apartment building, I’ll tell her to drop me by that playground and that I wanted to be alone or something,” she said and shook her head. “I just hope she buys it.”

 

Dara was turning away again and was ready to leave when Jiyong called again. “Wait!”

 

“What now?!” Dara yelled, stomping her feet and facing him again. This was getting tiring and annoying.

 

Jiyong pursed his lips and looked down on his feet. “Take care and don’t be late.”

 

Hearing that, her heart sank. She felt sorry she yelled at him. It was obvious that Jiyong was being worried. She then nodded and finally headed out.

 

On her way to the venue, she pulled out her phone and typed a message.

 

Dara: Don’t worry. I won’t drink much tonight, I promise! Don’t wait for me and sleep early. You need the energy for your rehearsal tomorrow. Good night, Jiyong!