Day 66

 

Jiyong stared at Dara from the dining room while he was eating. He was wondering what the sudden change of the mood was. He just came home this morning from Japan and he had spent time with her for a while with her telling him a funny variety show she watched while he wasn’t around. But a few hours later until this time, she just sat on the same spot for nearly two hours, the television on. She even forgot to prepare him dinner but instead of nagging, there seemed to be something that pulled him back. So, he just prepared himself a meal.

 

He clicked his tongue, not taking it anymore. He stood up from his seat, leaving his food. He stomped towards her and stood in front of her, covering her view from the television. “YAH! What are you doing sitting there?”

 

Dara looked up. For seconds, she just blinked up at him. When it seemed like it dawned on her, she frantically stood up from her spot and ran towards the kitchen.

 

“Oh my, what time is it? I forgot. I’m so sorry. What do you want to eat? Do you—“

 

She was cut off and stopped from her panicked tracks in the kitchen when she saw the half-eaten food on the table. She looked up at Jiyong who was standing with both hands on his waist.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “You should have told me. But, still, I’m sorry because I forgot. I was just pre-occupied. My mind has been flying all day and—“

 

“Do you have a problem? Is something bothering you? Is TOP bothering you?” he asked, TOP’s name being emphasized.

 

“Don’t bring up TOP again,” she said and walked slowly back to her previous spot. She pulled up her knees towards her and rested her chin on them.

 

“Then, what’s your problem? You’re being an eye sore right now, you know that? Stop pouting and frowning. You’re getting uglier than you already are.”

 

Instead of snapping back at him, she just sighed. “Nothing. Just go and eat. And then rest. I’ll do the dishes later.”

 

Silence met her words. After a while, she felt something being hit on her head. “OW!” she groaned, looking up at the source. It was Jiyong holding a pillow which she assumed he used to hit on her head. “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“Stop being sad!” he yelled, surprising her out of her wits. He was panting hard, frowning, and biting his lower lip. “What’s wrong with you?! Tell me now! I order you to tell me now! Or else I won’t be able to sleep tonight!”

 

She clicked her tongue. “So bossy,” she said, looking forward again. “I miss my family. There I said it, happy?”

 

Jiyong put the pillow down and plopped himself beside her, a little too close.

 

“Salary addition,” she muttered.

 

“Okay,” he answered without actually moving farther from her, surprising Dara. He just stayed there. There was still a space but it was less than a meter for sure. “Do you really miss them that much?”

 

Dara just nodded. “I miss my Omma, my little sister, and my little brother,” she said, finding it easy to open up to him. “If it wasn’t for my selfish dream, I wouldn’t have left them and live alone here in Seoul.”

 

“Don’t call your dream selfish,” he said, trying to console her. But he wasn’t the type to be the one who comforts people. He wasn’t good with conversations and comfort words. He just knew how to rap and write lyrics.

 

“But it’s true. If I didn’t want to pursue college studies, I wouldn’t have done some reckless decisions that would hurt me and my family,” she continued, tears starting to pour.

 

“But…” he trailed off, not knowing what else to say. “But, you could help your family when you finish your studies, you will be able to help them in the long run. Don’t think too much, Dar – I mean, Dora.”

 

Dara then buried her face on her arms. “I JUST MISS THEM SO MUCH! I MISS THEM. I WANT TO SEE THEM RIGHT NOW. IF I CAN, I WILL TELEPORT MYSELF TO BUSAN RIGHT NOW.”

 

After she burst out, she cried loudly, cried loudly as if she was a grade-schooler who just got her lollipop snatched by a bully. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was burying her face on her arms, Jiyong was pretty sure that her cries would be heard by everyone in the apartment building. Good thing her cries were stifled.

 

But, Jiyong was too stunned seeing her like that. He just sat there, staring at her with wide eyes. Although he had already seen her cry when she opened up to him about her Dad, this Dara who was crying in front of him was surely a different one. She was like a kid right now and, if back then he was able to make her stop crying by giving her company (and not to mention, a drink), right now, he just didn’t know what to do. That was why for what seemed like an hour for him, he just stared at her. She didn’t stop.

 

Finally, he thought of something. He sighed quietly. He scooted closer to her and then closer… until there wasn’t a space left between them and he just knew he would lose a whole sum of money because of this. But as of the moment, he didn’t care. Taking another breath, he reached out his trembling hand, slowly and carefully, until his fingers lightly brushed on her shoulder. When finally his hand was on her shoulder, it felt like a thorn was pricked out of his heart and he felt relieved. He didn’t even know why but he just felt relieved.

 

He lightly and awkwardly tapped her shoulder. “Don’t cry,” he said very softly. He wasn’t even sure she heard him.

 

Without a word, Dara leaned her head towards him, to his chest to be exact, catching Jiyong off guard. He was even supposed to jump backward but thought better of it. Because if he would, Dara would fall to the floor, without anything to break her fall.

 

With his wide eyes, he stared down at her. Her face was now covered with her palms, still crying loudly. His body relaxed as he felt sorry for her. Somehow, this was his fault so he was also feeling guilty for her.

 

His arms which were awkwardly raised in the air as if he was caught by a cop doing a crime slowly fell and they wrapped around Dara. The next second, he was already hugging her.

 

“Sssh…” he cooed, not giving another word as she was back on her ramble about how she missed her family, how it was her fault, and how she just wanted to fly towards them right now. No, it’s not your fault, Dara. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t worry, I’ll be here.

 

He didn’t know why but he found it really hard to be vocal of what he had in his thoughts. Nevertheless, he just kept them bottled up inside of him.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Day 67

 

The glare of the sudden opening of the lights woke Dara up. Instinctively, she covered her face with her blanket. She rolled to her side, causing her to fall from the sofa, face-to-face with the carpeted floor.

 

“Ow,” she groaned. She looked up at the clock beside the sofa and saw that it was still five in the morning. “What…?” she couldn’t even finish her question as she looked around her to look for the prime suspect who suddenly turned the lights on, disrupting her sleep.

 

“YAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING BEING A LAZY SLOTH EARLY IN THE MORNING?!” a voice boomed across the apartment.

 

Dara didn’t have to look around to find the source because she knew who that was. Without opening her eyes, she slowly climbed the sofa to go back to sleep. “It’s still early. Let me sleep for another hour,” she said, facing the backrest now and burying her face.

 

She heard his stomps towards her and the next thing she knew, the blanket was pulled off her, causing her to curl in a ball.

 

“WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD!”

 

Dara looked up and frowned at Jiyong. “IT’S EARLY!” she then stopped when he saw her towering over her, complete with a get-up. “Are you going somewhere? Do you have a schedule today?” she asked, immediately standing up. “Why didn’t you tell me last night? I would have woken up earlier.”

 

She was already making her way to the kitchen when he held on to her arm. She looked down at his hand and then back to him.

 

“One-me—“

 

Jiyong put his finger on his lip. “For today, we can violate that rule,” he said.

 

“Why? I need money. You cannot allow that,” she said.

 

“Just get dressed. We’re going somewhere,” he said, turning around. “And cook some food.”

 

“Why? Where are we going?” she asked.

 

“Busan.”

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

It had been an hour since they left the KTX station. Dara was staring outside, admiring the eastern coastline which she had missed. The last time she left home by this same train was more than a year ago and she was crying the whole time and missed the beautiful scenery.

 

She leaned back to her seat and looked at the person beside her. A smile spread on her lips. She still couldn’t believe he treated her to a trip to her hometown after her outburst last night. She was thinking that maybe he felt guilty but she swore she didn’t mean to make him feel that way. Last night, she just suddenly missed her family.

 

One thing that certainly surprised her, aside from their trip to Busan right now, was Jiyong’s comforting words and actions. It was different from when she opened up to him about her father. Last night was more comforting. She even felt better afterwards. She didn’t even expect him to continue comforting her through this trip.

 

Jiyong wasn’t taking too much risk with this trip. He made sure to buy tickets at the VIP section of the train so no one would see them. On the way to the train and to their cabin then, he made sure no one recognized him with his outfit. He was wearing a big-hooded coat, a scarf covering his face and a pair of glasses. No one would recognize him for sure but it would make heads turn to him.

 

Dara’s smile spread wider when Jiyong’s head bobbed forward. He had been sleeping ever since they boarded the train. He must have been really tired from his activities, she thought.

 

Jiyong’s head repeatedly bobbed forward and side-to-side. He was obviously uncomfortable. Although this was a more private section of the train, the seats weren’t enough to be slept on. Services like this are better provided by airlines.

 

Dara almost laughed seeing him struggling. She then reached out her hand and slowly made his head lean on her shoulder, careful not to wake him up. Although she wasn’t sure if she didn’t really wake him up because he buried his head on her hair and even grabbed her arm as if it was a cuddly stuffed toy. That caught her off guard but she let him be. She just smiled and looked out her window again.

 

It would be another two hours until they finally arrive to Busan. And she was having butterflies in her stomach because of excitement.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 “Ow, just ow…” Jiyong kept on groaning while they were walking to only-Dara-knows-where. “Are we there yet?”

 

“Not yet,” Dara said and hushed him. “Keep quiet. Stop groaning and complaining.”

 

“But my neck really hurts. You should have woken me up. That was really an awkward and uncomfortable position,” he continued complaining despite Dara’s words. He fixed his scarf over his mouth to cover his face. Indeed, there were people they passed by who did some double-takes but they seem to just shrug him off. Anyway, it was winter and Jiyong’s get-up was normal for this season. “Besides, we’ve been walking for more than half an hour. You said it’s close. Why are we even walking? Doesn’t Busan have any cabs or something?”

 

“I want to walk now stop complaining,” she shushed him once more but he didn’t stop. Truthfully, she just wanted to feel the Busan atmosphere more and it would be granted by walking, not taking public transportation. Besides, she was nervous meeting her family again. She felt like they would be mad at her – for leaving them. And she needed time to think. What with Jiyong’s surprise offer of coming home to Busan, she wasn’t given the time to prepare psychologically.

 

He was already starting to lazily drag his feet while complaining how hungry and tired he was when his head which was bowed low bump into Dara’s back.

 

“Oh, you stopped,” he said, caressing his head. He looked up and saw the name: Gukje Market, Busan. “Your mom is here?”

 

Dara nodded and then faced him. She fixed his scarf, covering more than half his face, put back his sunglasses which he removed a while ago, and put the big hood over his head again. “There, now be prepared. Some ahjummas might recognize you. You said BIGBANG’s music also attracts older women, right? There are really a lot of people here. You ready?”

 

Jiyong just nodded repeatedly. Dara pulled out her gloveless hand and he just stared down at it. “What? Are you asking for money?”

 

Dara chuckled, shook her head, and grabbed his gloved hand. “Never let go of my hand. You might get lost,” she said, immediately feeling the warmth of his gloved hand, turning away to hide her flustered face, and starting to walk inside the market. It sure was crowded already.

 

Jiyong grinned under the scarf. He leaned to whisper on her ear: “You’re just giving an excuse because you just wanted to hold my hand.”

 

Dara looked back and gave her one of her deadliest stares. She then pulled her hand roughly from his and ran away. “I’ll leave you then!” she called.

 

“YAH!” he called back, laughing and running after her.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

“Is that her?” Jiyong asked in a low tone, pointing at one of the ahjummas who were selling on the market. They were hiding behind a crate of fruits. He didn’t even get why they were hiding from her mom. “Go and greet her. Go.”

 

“I’m nervous,” she said, looking up at him, pouting. He swore it was as if she would cry at that instant. And after witnessing her cries last night, he was scared she would do the same at this crowded place.

 

“Don’t worry,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be here.”

 

“Can you come with me? In case, I run away before actually greeting her stop me from running away,” she pleaded.

 

Jiyong nodded. They slowly walked towards her mother. She was busy at that time, entertaining a customer, packing the fish he bought. They waited for the customer to go and when he did, they continued approaching.

 

Her mother was calling for more customers who passed by. It was obvious that she was freezing, not even wearing a pair of gloves just like Dara. But her mother’s cold might be worse than what she was feeling right now because she had to handle fish which were kept in a container with ice to keep them fresh.

 

That time, she was refilling the spaces of her vendor with more fishes. “Aigoo, so cold. So cold,” her mother muttered.

 

Dara cleared when they were already in front of her. She wasn’t looking up at that time.

 

“Yes, ma’am. What do you want? I have fish fresh from being caught from the –“ she was cut off when finally she looked up, a ready smile for the customer in place. When her eyes finally met Dara’s, her eyes widened and smile slowly faded.

 

“Omma…” Dara called with her voice trembling.

 

Seeing the scene in front of him, with Dara’s tears streaming down her face and her mother’s eyes welling up with tears, he was also almost brought into the tears, until:

 

“YAH! BABO-YA! YOU DON’T COME HOME FOR MORE THAN A YEAR AND YOU BRING WITH YOU A GUY?! WHO IS HE? ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY HIM?! WHY?! ARE YOU PREGNANT!?”