Warning: Homosuicide(?)                                                            

                   He held the cutter firmly in his hand. He was hesitating,wondering either it would be painful or not,whether he would die at once or would be alive to see the sun.  He already lost his and that was why his day had never shined since that day. The day when his beloved left him. He knew it would happen because both of them were hurt but he thought it could be fixed. 

                 His eyes landed on the blade, but his mind was somewhere else, trying to remember his loved person's smiles. They were once happy. He did not know where went wrong for him to be in that state. He saw the smiles and he felt like the person assured him that it won't be painful at all. He gained courage from the illusion that he thought that was real.

 He smiled to himself and finally sliced his wrist.

"Oh, it isn't painful at all",he muttered but his tears suddenly rained out.

"......but why am I crying? This doesn't hurt at all", he convinced himself.

                    It was not the wound that hurting. It was his fragile heart. It had torn into pieces and that made him did not found any way out from his misery except  ending his own life. Slowly, his hand lost grip to the paper cutter. His blood started to trickle from his newly injured hand. He heard knocks on his door but he ignored it. He was immersed in seeing how amazing his blood colour was. Drop by drop, it fell on the sheet, crimson red started to stain the once white pure covers. He found it funny to see how slow the blood dropped.

                    He did not feel satisfied. He felt he wanted more. That was when he removed a thin layer of his skin from the cut. Not only that, he also pressed the wound only to witness how he would be drained. He admitted it stung but he felt better. His uninjured hand managed to reach keys near him. Again, he smiled. With blurred vsidion cause by his tears, he scratched the wound using the ragged key. Everytime he did it, he muttered his beloved person's name.

                     The knocks were getting louder and louder. Once more,he refused to acknowledged it. He had locked his door. He was prepared to be alone eternally.

"Dong Wan!!!!!", he heard someone shouted his name.

He only continued to stare at his bloody wrist.

"You will be glad if I'm gone, Jun Jin", he pressed the wound as hard as he could.

Of course it came with consequences. More blood flowed out from his wrist. His lips formed a smile when he saw more blood gushed out of him. He closed his eyes to feel how his soul would leave him.

                The door was finally opened. Eric let out a relieve sigh when  the door gave him access to the room. Well,after he kicked it hard and it broke. He knew he could not be relieved yet. He received a text from his friend saying his final good bye. It was astonishing for him so he had doubted something bad was happening to his friend. They might fight with each other everytime but they loved each other as friends. He noticed things were going down for Dong Wan and Jun Jin and eventually they broke up. Jun Jin was affected by it but he was healed as he was a strong person to begin with but he worried about Dong Wan. He knew the witty guy would only kept hiding his feelings. He would not show how sad he was and always pretending that he was okay all the time. Not until suddenly, Eric received an apology message from Dong Wan saying he won't continue as Shinhwa. That was enough for Eric to get the hint. Shinhwa is their lives. Leaving Shinhwa would only mean one thing...

                He stepped into the room and found his friend was lying on the bed while facing the other side of him. He thought Dong Wan was only sleeping,but when he came closer, he was shocked. He felt his heart left him for a while when he saw how red the bed was.

"Dong wan! What have you done!", he yelled.

The said name only chuckled weakly through his closing eyes. He did not expect Eric to be that fast. He was hoping Eric would found him dead already.

            Eric knew he could lose him if he did not act fast. In a rush, he carried the weak Dong Wan into his embrace and ran out of the room.

"Let me die,eric...", Dong wan said when Eric was busy struggling to hold him correctly.

"Are you ing crazy! Shut up before I stuffed your mouth!", Eric raised his voice.

"Just let me die, Er...", Dong Wan could not finish his words.

That was because Eric suddenly bent down and locked his lips. Eric kissed him softly simply because he could not find anything to stuff the mouth. It was accidentally but Eric keep kissing till it turned into a sincere kiss. Dong Wan was too weak to fight the buffed guy that was carrying him. Tears had came from Eric and it fell down on dong wan's cheeks.

"No! I won't let you die!" Eric ran faster to hospital with Dong Wan in his embrace.

"Don't die! Jun Jin might leave you but, don't u see I'm here? Stupid dong wan!", Eric was sobbing.

Dong Wan could not focus anymore. He started losing his senses but at that time he heard something from Eric that made him regret doing what he did.

"I love you. Don't leave me", Eric was slowly dissappearing from his view.

"Dong Wan! Dong Wan! I love you!",the last thing he heard before he lost his conciousness. His body became limb in Eric's embrace.

Eric did not care of the weird stares he got when he entered the hospital dramatically.

"HELP! Somebody! Help me. Please!" , Eric wailed when his knees gave out. He kneeled on the floor, begging to save his friend's life. It felt eternity for him to wait all the nurses and doctors to get to him.

"Please. Save him. Please", Eric chanted while Dong Wan was taken away on the stretcher. He wanted to follow but the nurses were holding him.

"Sir, you have to wait here", one of the nurses persuaded him.

Eric was sitted down on a chair and the nice nurse gave him a cup of tea to calm down. However, he could not stay still. His eyes were locked on the door of the trauma room. His feet were tapping the floor restlessly. When it felt forever for him when it was actually only three hours, finally the doctor was out. He stood up immediately and rushed to the doctor.

"How is he?!", he asked impatiently.

The doctor removed his mask and gave Eric a smile. He patted the leader's shoulders and said.

"He is fine now but still weak mentally. Go see him. I think he asked for you.", the doctor walked away.

Eric did not waste time and ran to Dong Wan's bed. When his eyes caught the view of the witty guy, he let out a big relieve sigh. He felt better when he saw his friend is still alive, breathing in front of him. However, that did not stop him from approaching Dong Wan and slapped him.

"PPAAANNGG!!", the sound of the slap was loud.

All nurses looked at the source but did not dare to interfere as Eric's face was unreadable.

"That was for trying to do a stupid thing!", Eric burst out.

Dong Wan put his hand on the red cheek. He bowed down his head. He knew he deserved it. He felt stupid as well because his plan did not work. He was still alive. The wound was already being stiched and sealed with a bandaged so, he could not do anything anymore.

For Eric, he settled himself next to Dong Wan on the bed. He dived his face in his own hands for a while before he wiped his entire face. Dong Wan could tell how worried Eric was after seeing his condition. He reached out his hand and landed it on Eric's face.

"Do you love me that much?", the shorter guy asked and startled Eric. In stupor, he nodded.

"I'm alive because of you, Eric", Dong Wan pulled Eric closer to him.

Eric pondered for a while to catch what Dong Wan was trying to say.

"What do you mean?", he frowned in confuse.

"I heard your confession", that made Eric blushed. He did not know how to react.

"I want to give myself a chance", Dong Wan decided.

He caressed Eric's cheek with his hand. Eric looked at him with a soft gaze and understood. He grabbed Dong Wan's hand to feel the warmth. At least he knew, Dong Wan is still alive. That was the only matter he was thinking.

"I may not love you yet but....", he was stopped again with a pair of lips locking his. Their lips were tangled sweetly. Both of them were refused to let go of each other even there were eyes looking at them. Eric pulled away for a while only to say,

"You don't have to force it. If we are meant to be, it will come. For now, just let me love you", Eric sealed his words with another romantic kiss to Dong Wan. The witty guy slowly give in to the kiss and promised himself to live and love better.

"I will love you, Eric", he promised to himself.

The End

Author's note: Whoa! What did I write? Hahahaha^^ sorry if this story is weird...pardon my sleepiness...huhu...T^T...

Anyways, thank you for reading and please comment if u will^^