Recommended songs: Miracles in December. (any version)

Chanyeol’s POV.

I was speechless when I opened the door. I never expected to see Yoo Kyung sleeping with another guy.

I never expected that other guy to be Luhan.

Luhan, the flowery boy, the baby faced prick was in bed with Yoo Kyung. I was so mad, furious even. I wanted to punch him in the face, kick him in his crotch; I wanted Yoo Kyung away from him.

But how can I hit Luhan if he’s my hyung?

He doesn’t deserve her, she needs a manlier man. One that is at least more handsome than Luhan. She needed someone like me and it was so obvious.

Her face was red and I could see a pink spot on her neck.

Is that… a love bite? I clenched my fist harder.

No way…

They.

Made.

Out.

I was hoping to be the first guy that does that to her but seeing that Luhan has already done that makes me wonder… Is she really that easy?

“Hey don’t take it too hard. We didn’t do anything.” Luhan added.

“Yeah, quit giving us the ‘Sica effect’.” Yoo Kyung pouted.

Sica effect…? Do I really make the atmosphere cold with my appearance?

“Sica effect? Is that what I give with my presence?” I frowned. Does she really hate me being around her?

“I-I-I didn’t mean it like that.” Yoo Kyung got up from the bed only to be pulled back by Luhan. She was now sitting on his lap.

She didn’t even retaliate.

I was reminded of how I pulled her to sit with me in the van; she had retaliated then, why didn’t she retaliate now?

Maybe Kris was right; “Just because you love someone, that doesn’t mean they have to love you back.”

I could feel my tears about to fall. I growled a little to prevent it from happening and left the room.

I sat beside the room’s door.

One by one, I could feel my tears trickling down my face. My heart hurts. It hurts so much.

“Chanyeol…” Yoo Kyung called out from the room.

“No… I know how you and Chanyeol are like but if you keep doing this to him… What about us?”

I could hear their conversation from outside.

“I thought it’d be obvious since I got marked.”

“I get jealous too y’know.” I heard Luhan sigh.

“Hey lulu…”

“Yes, baby?”

Baby? No… No… This can’t be happening. I wanted to be the first member that called her that. I wanted to be the first. I punched my chest, it hurt so much and the tears wouldn’t stop falling.

“Let’s go on a date.”

I ran to my room. I wanted to slam my door but I couldn’t, it’d be too obvious. I quietly closed it and sighed.

I went to my wardrobe and in between my clothes; there were 2 jars full of paper cranes. I picked up the one labelled ‘Yoo Kyung’. I was going to give this to her on my birthday. I was going to tell her how I feel then.

“It’s happening again huh,” I chuckled softly. “It seems like whenever I do paper cranes for someone, even before I can give it to them, they leave me.” My vision became blurry with tears. I lay down on my bed hugging the jar. It was hopeless. I closed my eyes and was about to fall asleep when I received a text from Kris;

“Hey. Kyung Soo is in the hospital. Aren’t you going to come?”

I placed the jar on my table and without replying to Kris, I grabbed my jacket and left the dorm. I took out my phone to text Yoo Kyung before leaving the area.

The nearest hospital was at least 2 hours away.

While in the bus, I looked at my phone; 0 messages. I guess she really doesn’t care.

I unlocked my phone and sighed at the wallpaper; it was our very first selca together.

flashback

She was the prettiest person I’ve ever seen. Her jawline was as sharp as Sehun’s and her cheekbones.

Oh gosh her cheekbones were really high, even higher than Chen’s. Whenever she laughed or smiled a little, they would move up.

She was staring at me with eyes that seem to be sparkling, almost like Luhan’s; but better.

She would blush after every sentence I say. I held out my hand for her to shake and she shyly did so. Her hand was soft, smooth and warm. It was small too.

I took out my phone for a selca. Maybe one day we could lie down, look at the selca and talk about today; the day that I found the perfect one. I have no idea why but that feeling that she gives me with her presence, it feels so familiar… It made me feel safe.

But her sharing a dorm with 12 guys, if any of them fall in love with her that would be a problem wouldn’t it? I guess we could strike Chen off the list of guys considering that he only wants a noona.

“You seem like the shy type. That’s dangerous around guys.” I told her.

She shook her head. “I’m not really shy… It’s just that you’re a new person.”

Ah, she’s the type that becomes an introvert when she meets someone new. That’s cute.

I smiled and chuckled, “Ah but still.” It’s dangerous. Especially around Kris. I can imagine him pinning her down or against the wall with no sweat. I shivered at the thought.

Let’s just hope that he doesn’t fall for her.

She whispered. “I’m honestly worried about sharing a dorm with 12 guys.”

I smiled, who wouldn’t be? There and then, I promised to protect her.

present

“Protect…” I mumbled. I guess I can’t do that anymore if she belongs to Luhan. I switched off my phone and hugged it tightly, fighting back all the tears that were dying to escape from my eyes.

When I opened my eyes and looked out of the bus window, I saw the Banpo Bridge. It looked beautiful as always. Right then, it begun to snow. I decided to get down the bus and went towards the bridge.

As I sat down looking at the bridge, a few people recognised me even though I was wearing shades, masks and a scarf. Damn.

“Chanyeol!”

“Oppa oppa!”

Shut up all of you.

I forcefully smiled and took pictures, gave autographs and sat back down. I wasn’t in the mood for this. I wasn’t in the mood for anything. I wiped my eyes again.

“ing tears,” I sniffed.

I looked up at the bridge that was lit up in many colours. I had wanted to bring her here. I had wanted to ask her to be mine right here. I pictured it happening perfectly in my head.

But now…

I sighed and was reminded of her cold attitude towards me; even though I cared so much.

That time when she was lost at Music Bank;

I was frantic. She’s a girl and there were other male idols that were there that day. Everyone was trying to calm me down before the performance, but how I can be calm if she’s missing?

“I’ll go look for her.” Chen volunteered.

Right after he found her and brought her to the room, I pulled her to me. I wanted to hug her but then I was so angry at her, how could she just go off wandering like that? Doesn’t she understand that she’s a girl?

Instead of answering me, she sat down silently. I rolled my eyes and left the room. Baekhyun went after me, “Yah don’t get so angry.”

“She doesn’t get it does she?” I sighed.

“Let her be Channie, she doesn’t know how you feel right?” Baekhyun grabbed my arm as we walked towards the stage so that I could emcee. I couldn’t really focus; even when performing, I couldn’t focus at all. I almost forgot a move.

When I went back to the waiting room, Yoo Kyung was talking to Chen coolly. Why doesn’t she ever talk to me like that?

“That’s really cute. But I suggest you use that when no one’s around, unless you know Chanyeol..”

“Unless I what?” I asked, cutting Chen off.

“Nothing. Are the guys done yet?” Chen asked, obviously changing the subject. Damn that beagle.

I nodded and looked at Yoo Kyung. Her face was red. Suho came in and told us it was time to go. I went in and slowly took my stuff.

“Let’s go oppa.” I heard Yoo Kyung call out. Who is she talking to?

“Who are you calling oppa?” Sehun asked.

Yoo Kyung suddenly burst out laughing, “Yah I was just teasing you guys. Why do all of you look anxious?” She was trying her best to smile.

Everyone left the room except Chen, Yoo Kyung and I. I had to get some things done before leaving the room.

Chen left the room and as Yoo Kyung was leaving the room, I whispered into her ear. When she turned around, I swiftly swept pass her and stood in front of her.

When we were in the van, she refused to sit with me.

Fast forward to when we returned to the dorm;

Sehun was in the room with her. Right when I entered the room, he was hugging her.

“What are you guys doing?” I asked.

Sehun suddenly kissed her cheek, “What do you think?” He smirked.

“YAH!” I yelled out. That idiot-

Yoo Kyung suddenly faced me and started yelling. The only words that entered my brain were, “Who cares if we’re hugging or kissing or whatever? I don’t need you to be yelling like an insensitive prick at a time like this!”

I stared at her, nodded my head; Sounds she wasn’t participating in whatever Sehun was initiating. I grinned and left saying, “Paradise.”

I slammed the door so that it wasn’t obvious that I was pleased; pleased that she didn’t do anything back to Sehun.

Then again when I was walking towards my room, I saw Sehun hugging her again, this time he was in his boxers. I was furious.

I walked up to him and wanted to punch him in the face but Yoo Kyung threatened me to hit me. I hugged her and immediately went into my room. I had a few more paper cranes to fold.

Just as I was about to open my wardrobe to get the jar, Sehun busted through the room door.

“Hyung. Please stay away from Yoo Kyung.” Sehun called out. His face was as serious as ever.

“Why should I?” I furrowed my brows.

“Because I like her,” Sehun gulped. “And I want to be with her.”

“Am I supposed to listen to you just because you like her?” I smirked.

“Hyung.” I could see Sehun clenched his teeth.

“I can see you clenching your teeth.” I laughed.

“Hyung please.” Sehun got to his knees. “She’s the only person I’ve felt so strongly about.”

“Get up on your feet you idiot. I’m not going to back off. If you want her, you’ll have to fight for it.” I replied.

“Then I’m sorry.” Sehun whispered. He suddenly threw a fist in the air; it had hit me in my jaw, causing my lip to bleed.

Fists after fists, I only managed to plant a scratch on Sehun’s face. I used my legs to make Sehun fall and pinned him to the ground.

“I’m not going to back off. If you want her, please, let’s do it fairly. I don’t want to fight with you.”

“You don’t get it hyung. I really want her.” Sehun’s eyes were full of passion when he said that, he was almost in tears. I loosened my grip a little, that’s when Kyung Soo and Yoo Kyung came in.

When we were at the hanwoo store, everyone was happily eating the hanwoo. None of them noticed that their happy virus was silent. I quietly cooked my own hanwoo and ate them. When I saw the other members feeding Yoo Kyung, I immediately felt jealous. I wasn’t going to do anything but when Sehun fed her the hanwoo, I knew I had to do something.

As I held out my chopsticks that had pieces of kimchi, my hand was shaking; it had been a while since I fed a girl. She smiled right after I fed her; it made me feel happy inside.

When we were drinking, I was worried for her. Girls shouldn’t be drinking. When I warned her, she brushed me off because she was too drunk. She passed out right after a few bottles. I placed her on my lap, hugged her with my left arm and kept drinking to prevent the other guys from touching her. Luhan took her away from me because he said that I should help out the other guys since I was stronger.

“Luhan that sly deer,” I silently laughed to myself while looking at the day sky that was becoming night.

As I lay down on the snowy ground, snow was falling on me. I saw a couple nearby and overheard their conversation.

“Will you be mine?” The guy grabbed her hand and interlocked their fingers.

“Of course I would!” The girl’s face lit up and she happily hugged him.

That skinship.

I rose up my hand; I wanted some skinship with her. I wanted her to be close to me. But I guess I should’ve known. I clenched my hand and placed it on my chest.

I lay on the floor thinking about Yoo Kyung, thinking about how everything could’ve gone better, picturing perfect moments of us if we were together.

As I watched the sunset at the Banpo Bridge, I fell asleep at one point but was awaken by the falling snowflakes.

“It’s so obvious isn’t it?” As the last teardrop fell from my face, I decided to switch on my phone. I received a text from Yoo Kyung at around 4am.

“I love you.”

I should’ve been happy but when I received the text I sighed and placed an arm over my eyes; she’s only doing this now because I’ve disappeared. She’s doing this out of pity. I should’ve realised this a long time ago;

Even though I had painstakingly loved Yoo Kyung, she never wanted any part of me.

Sica effect.

That’s what I do when I’m around her. I sobbed quietly to sleep.

I had planned how to celebrate my birthday; I was going to spend the morning with the members and Yoo Kyung and spend the night with just her. I would tell her how I feel then but I wouldn’t ask her to be mine just yet. Then after a few weeks I would bring her here and give her the jar of cranes and at the same time, ask her to be mine.

She will say yes and we would be a happy couple.

But finding her in bed with Luhan made me wonder if all those could happen in the month of December. I wonder if we would even have a happy and merry Christmas.

It’ll be like Miracles in December if those could happen.

It was there and then that I decided that from today onwards, I won’t try to make Yoo Kyung love me since she doesn’t want me to. Since she keeps on pushing me away, I’ll give up. No, instead of giving up, I’ll stop.

I’ll stop loving Yoo Kyung.