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Story Link

Granted By: ShineBFIsland501

Title: Wink

Author: erickson50112

Title

The title"Wink" does not really sound intriguing. When using only one word, it is a make it or break it point. Titles are what will make a reader read your story or not, so you have to make it as effective as possible. But otherwise, the title does tell readers that this will be cheesy and a cute type of story.

Foreword/Description

The foreword at all did not draw me in. It seemed very cliché and boring. Adding an important part from the story could have helped to build a reader's interest. Other than the "character descriptions", I would say that the description and foreword were non-existent. And, adding too much questions in the description isn't good.

Appearance

The poster wasn't well done. It didn't look appealing and was too simple in my perspective. Along with the foreword, description and title being unappealing, this seemed to add to the list.

Plot

The plot was simple and cliché. It was more like a slice of life story and it wasn't as interesting as I expected it to be. Maybe adding more details to the events would have made it better.

Grammar

Your English was readable, but there were quite a few mistakes. Firstly, the tenses were different: some were in present while some were past, so please choose one. Also, the names weren't capitalized, dialogues weren't done that well because there are certain rules which are hard to explain when writing dialogues, so I suggest that you look up how to do so. And, there were spelling mistakes and the punctuations were sometimes misused or weren't there when needed, so the sentences became run-ons. Also, adding quotations to the questions in the description were unnecessary. Here are some of your mistakes:

Incorrect: "What if her habbit is winking especially to everyone included other guys?"

Correct:What if her habit is winking at everyone?

Incorrect:The girl just nodded as hyunjoong got up and started to walk towards the restroom, couple of minutes later hyunjoong came back but to his suprise, I mean to what he expected one of the waiters was sitting on his spot talking to her.

Correct:The girl just nodded as Hyun Joong got up and walked towards the restroom. A couple of minutes later, Hyun Joong came back, but one of the waiters was sitting on his spot talking to her.

Flow

The flow was too fast. Everything happened quickly and I couldn't enjoy the events as much.

Characterization

All the characters had a good role. But, I couldn't really understand theit personalities, even the main characters. All I understood about the two were that they were the jealous type and were flirty in the latter's perspective. Other than that, I couldn't really understand their personalities.

Comments/Enjoyment

I love Hyunjoong, but this story wasn't my cup of tea mostly because it is a cute type of story. Also, I apologize if I sounded mean. Lastly, I couldn't really give a lot of details for this review because the story was short and straight-forward.

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