As the days went by, Wonshik was on the verge of going insane. Even though he had enough things that should be occupying his mind, Taekwoon’s features and his soft voice had a tendency to creep in between at the most unwanted moments.

There were a lot of things he didn’t know about the older male, a lot of things he was curious about. But he couldn’t really ask the third year right out, could he? Taekwoon clearly had a discomfort when it came to talking too much, and Wonshik wanted to respect that. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t curious.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, and after having tried of concentrating on writing, he had given up, too preoccupied by other trains of thoughts. He just couldn’t get Taekwoon off of his mind.

He sighed.

He wished he would have gotten to know more about the somewhat shy upper classman, because he was sure that there was more to Taekwoon than met the eye. It made him so curious, his entire being, because he seemed to be so different from Wonshik. His entire existence was soft yet intense, a chic air hanging over every one of his movements, and it entranced the younger blonde.

He really couldn’t put it into words. And that, that was something entirely new to him.

Another frustrated sigh escaped his lips. He wasn’t usually at a loss for words. It was just so unlike him. Picking himself up from the floor, he went to look for his discarded cellphone. He found it under one of the cushions on his couch, and before he actually really thought this through, he had already pressed the call button.

“Hey, Wonshik, what’s up?” The bright voice on the other side answered.

“Hey Hongbin.” Wonshik answered, actually happy to hear the voice of one of his closest friends after, what he now realized, some time.

“You haven’t called in a few days, you alright?” The voice on the other side of the cellphone sounded slightly worried, but Hongbin generally worried far too much over anything, the blonde thought.

“I’m okay, you know, projects for classes and stuff.” Wonshik let Hongbin’s ‘ah, yeah me too’ ring out before he pulled himself together, mustering up the courage to ask what he was meaning to ask in the first place.

“Hey, Hongbin-ah, I was wondering, uh… do you know Jung Taekwoon?”

“Who?” Came the reply, and Wonshik’s heart sank just a little bit.

“Jung Taekwoon. He’s a Singing major? Third or fourth year I think.”

“Hmmm… Ah, yeah, I think I know who you mean. He’s a third year; actually, I think he’s a friend of a friend of mine. Why?” The curiosity in Hongbin’s voice didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde, and he thought it better not to give it any unnecessary attention and to ignore the question.

“A friend of a friend?” Wonshik repeated, interested. He was far beyond being surprised by all the people his barely a first year of a friend actually knew. They were far too many to actually count.

There was a pause, and the blonde was sure that his friend nodded, forgetting that Wonshik wouldn’t be able to see him. “Yeah, I think so. My friend’s a third year Dance major. He hangs out with us sometimes, he’s really bubbly. I don’t think you know him… He talks a lot.” Wonshik could hear Hongbin’s amused chuckle at the thought of Taekwoon’s and his shared friend. “But that Taekwoon, though, he doesn’t talk very much. I mean, he listens. It’s not like he’s not interested in what one has to say, he just can’t express himself very well I guess.” Wonshik nodded to himself. Yeah, that seemed like Taekwoon. “Oh, there’s also the rumor that he swings the opposite way. Not like anyone really knows, though. Not like I’d mind. I don’t see why loving a man should be treated differently than loving a woman…” There was a strange edge to Hongbin’s voice, something along the lines of sadness, but Wonshik thought it best not to ask. Hongbin didn’t sound like it was something he would want to talk about, not now.

But the words made Wonshik think. So Taekwoon likes men? There was something in the pit of his stomach that flipped. A little ball, a small nudge of something that wasn’t there before. The blonde felt confused.

“But anyway, why did you wanna know?” He heard Hongbin’s voice again, but now he didn’t feel like talking to the other anymore. There were things he needed to think about, things he needed to figure out.

“Uh, no special reason. I’ll talk to you later, bye!”

Pressing the end call button, he let his phone slide out of his grip. One of his hands came up to his face. He felt exhausted now, for no real reason.

That was a lie. He knew why he felt exhausted.

Until this specific moment in time (or had it started a few weeks earlier?), Wonshik had been sure that he was completely straight. He knew about being gay, he had friends that swung that way, it had never bothered him. It wasn’t like he couldn’t imagine himself like that at all either. It just. Never occurred to him. Well, that was until he met Jung Taekwoon.

It kind of made sense now. The way he felt when his eyes met Taekwoon’s, the way his heart started to beat hard against his ribcage, the way that heavy and yet pleasant feeling in his stomach made him feel slightly nauseous. He was a fool, really. He should’ve realized it a lot sooner.

Wonshik realized now that he was madly attracted to Jung Taekwoon, without even knowing what had hit him.

He sighed again. This wasn’t what I signed up for, he thought to himself. But that thought made him stop in his thoughts. What exactly had he expected anyway? He’s had his small romances with some girls before, but it wasn’t like it ever felt… right. Well, it hadn’t felt wrong either. But Wonshik never really thought about wanting to spend his life with a woman, never thought about staying together with a woman for long. It felt good in the moment, it did, but… he felt that he should have known all along that there had been something missing. I didn’t know until it hit me right in the face, now, did I, he thought. It made him chuckle, really, it did. It was just so ridiculous.

He didn’t even know why he had to think about it. What was the deal if he liked a man or a woman? Hongbin was right; the feelings weren’t different at all. One didn’t have to decide on one or the other, either. Just going with the flow, yeah, that sounded right. If he ended up falling for Taekwoon completely… then that was the way it was going to be. Maybe it was just Taekwoon.

Taekwoon with his soft, soft voice, his distinct features and his intense gaze, the way he fluently moved like he was in water, how his eyes batted when he was confused. Taekwoon and his delicate fingers, his slightly rosy lips, his jet black, long hair. Ravi sighed at the thought, wanting nothing more than to sit together with the other male again, to watch him, knowing that he was close.

Something stirred in his middle, a hot tingling sensation making its way to his abdomen, as his mind drifted over the thought of touching Taekwoon’s soft looking skin. Wonshik groaned, and looked down at himself.

Great.

This really wasn’t what he had signed up for.