This is really long. Consider this a two in one chappy because I don't know where to cut it ^^

Chapter 8: Trapped

Life is a show and we are the director -- what a lie. If people can have their way, the world will fall into desperate chaos. If we really can, then how sad that would be because how can we all have the perfect endings if we chase the things we think will make us happy?  

Still, some people believe that their luck will come around, that someday it will be their turn on the pedestal. However, what if there is no master plan? What if the moment we have been waiting for had already passed and we were only too blind to recognize it?

If she says, she had barely slept a wink it wouldn’t be a lie. She had just closed her eyes when the alarm went off and Tae Goon strutted into her room like a boss. At six in the morning, she was already at the studio, the first among everyone who had started coming in at almost eight.

She’s always present during the filming of their drama, but it was different when you’re making your presence as small as possible from when you are the center of attention. When writing she could feel the power to create anything but in acting she could feel the power of being able to show anything. It was exciting, nerve wracking and she would do anything for the chance to have both. Ji hyo knows she’s lucky and she’s grateful though she can’t really show it.

“Quit staring.” Ji hyo hissed at Tae Goon, tugging down at the edges of the white dress that she thinks was awfully too short. Ji hyo was not new to the routine having tried it before, though not to a grand scale, in her theater days. Still, nothing could have prepared her for an actual shooting. The preparation stage was already so tiring. The tension was thick in the air although people seem not to notice and they haven’t even started yet.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Ji hyo wished herself good luck. This was something she wanted but never believed possible. A past may be hard to forget, but she wouldn’t let it destroy what she deserves to have.

A chuckle interrupted her thoughts and she glared at her co-writer. “You should ask me sometime about our first encounter, noona.”

“Isn’t it in our creative writing class? Were you one of those guys who volunteers at the club? Did I beat you up in taekwondo? Are you a church boy? Those are the only places we could have met unless you saw me in one of your part time jobs but that is creepy if you can remember one from thousands of people you could have met at those places. You are not some weird stalker… right? It’s not like I have the parts you like.”

“Ew, not a stalker of your kind of course! I don’t even know why I keep on inflating your ego noona, but… I first saw you in a play. Before you get high or something -- you were actually the worst among them… but strangely… when we met again, I remembered you right away. I think… you’d do fine. Even if you were not the best, you are certainly unforgettable.”

When she laughed, it was a little bit shaky. Damn emotions. “I feel like I’ve just heard the most creative insult in the whole world. It was truly a work of art, congratulations . You’d shame Tony Stark and get the title silver tongue away from Loki.”

Thank you for telling me I can do this, chingu…

Tae Goon rolled his eyes but it wasn’t as annoying as before. If anything else, it only made Ji hyo smile. “You know noona, not that I’m suddenly changing my tastes, but you look good for a girl. So quit being nervous and chill.” He grinned at her and unlike his infuriating smirks, this one made her warm. It was so sincere and it was effective in chasing away her jitters.

As always, she would deny that the next thing had ever happened but she hugged Tae Goon tight, whispering a thank you. The boy thankfully didn’t say anything and they laughed at the most awkward hug they ever had.

 “I really wonder if you were sincere about making this drama big by putting me there or you just want to see me suffer Tae Goon.” She said with a mock tone of annoyance to break the silence, resuming their regular banter.

“Why would I ruin my own name noona? You should know at least this about me, I’m all about my reputation… won’t destroy it before it’s even there. Oy! You are fishing compliments again, you sly fox!”

Before she could retort the director who kept on ranting about how great his works were whisked her away. Tae Goon gave her a thumbs up and it didn’t feel so scary anymore. She wasn’t alone after all.

“Ji hyo! You look absolutely perfect!” The director exclaimed and Ji hyo joked it’s because the makeup artists had all morning. In no time, the director was laughing loudly.

Everything was going smoothly to the point that Ji hyo forgot about him and her nervousness. They did some creative shots first, experimented a bit on the angles and poses then rehearsals. Ji hyo was in the middle of the first scene when the jolly director cursed loudly.

“That ingrate! Okay… call the guy. No, not him. It’s his song, he’s had MVs before so it’ll do. He’d better not be worse than that big-headed --” People tried not to listen and pretended to work, clearly used to seeing such a scene.

Everyone seems to know what’s going on but to Ji hyo, it doesn’t make any sense. She only hopes she wasn’t the ‘ingrate’ last time she checked, she’s not a ‘he’. Even if she still doesn’t find the idea of meeting that man again appealing, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like having the role. Even if she’s not being obvious about it, this was her dream come true and it would hurt to lose this.

The director flashed her, a tiny smile before storming off with a flurry of crews and staff. They disappeared into a conference room leaving Ji hyo a bundle of nerves. After a while, Tae Goon wordlessly grabbed her and the next thing she knew she was inside the conference room facing a grinning director and his creative team.

Ji hyo learned that the actor they hired went off to do another show leaving them empty-handed so it was decided that the singer would act as the male lead. Ji hyo doesn’t know whether to be happy or start running towards the exit. If this was a simple four-minute MV it won’t be as bad, but this was of a mini-drama kind. Even the script will change -- the changes! Ji hyo cringes -- and it was all Tae Goon’s fault.

“So he will sing in front of her but she doesn’t hear. He is in front of her but she doesn’t see. Ji hyo will ignore him. She will look far away with a headphone in her ears. I like that. He will think she’s listening to another song, trying to block him away.” The director beamed at the duo of writers. Tae Goon was not smiling, acting professional and smug like he always did while Ji hyo felt dizzy. The ideas, the concept, it was all great, golden actually. Only, her personal feelings were complaining.

Thankfully, Tae Goon was a ball of energy beside her so no one noticed her discomfort. He readily continued the scenario saying, “and in the end, she puts away the headphones and she hums his song --the next song in the album so it will seem like a teaser -- this would be great if we tie each song in the album like a part of the story. The one we’ll use as the first track would be the first one he’s ever sung to her in the past. She looks at him but he was already walking away -- but of course, it’s not because he was already giving up. Let us make it look like he’s leaving… but he was only picking up something she dropped to give it back--”

“An old picture of them. It breaks his heart thinking that she threw it away but what he doesn’t realize was that all those years she held on to that piece of memory. That she threw it away because she wanted to give them both a chance. It was her way of telling him she held on, thought of him for so long. It was her way to tell him and like always, he never really understands her heart… he never walked after her, never searched…” Ji hyo swallowed hard. She didn’t even realize what she was saying but everyone has gone silent.

Her partner gave her a look but without missing a beat, he picked up where she left of and finished their little tale. They successfully made a mini-drama with the songs as the ‘story’. Everyone applauded and cheered calling them the golden duo. But Ji hyo wasn’t feeling too golden having the topic hit her with a surprising force.

Ji hyo wanted to run but of course, she wouldn’t really. It was Tae Goon’s fault. The boy sometimes has the best ideas in the world but sadly, those eureka moments hated her.

“Let’s not delete the wedding scene in the original script. After the wedding, they would finally understand why they couldn’t be together, because they never really fought to win each other. In their final attempt to make amends, we’ll end with her giving him his headphones and he’d realize it was the first song he has sung to her. He gives her back the photo and he asks her, ‘will you take another one with me?’ she would smile and reply -- ‘as long as you would sing for me one last time.’ that’s it, the end, the last song would fit that well… what do you think director?”

“Perfect! Of course, it is. I knew the first time I have read your drama script that I need to work with you two. Now, let’s just wait for Jong kook-ssi then we can start.”

The others went on about their tasks. The crew modified the studio. The director was busy talking and checking things while Ji hyo was once again whisked away to the dressing room to look more appropriate with the changes.

It felt silly to wear the simple white dress that made her look like -- well, a woman getting married. It made her look young and happy like all young brides does. To the world, she’s smiling but she knew her eyes would break that illusion. She knew those brown orbs were anything but happy. More likely, a shadow of pain and hesitance was there. It made her want to act, to react out of the pain, to lash out on the emotions through the stage.

How fitting for her first major role. How mocking was fate to her.

Maybe writing was just the cherry on top but what she really wanted was to be out there. On stage. Maybe she was more like him than she was willing to admit. Maybe that was one of the things she liked about him, no matter what kind of stage it is, he doesn’t care. He still sings as if it was his… like he owns you and the world.

Just ignore him! Just follow the plan. It will be all right… just ignore him…

A voice broke her concentration while she was rehearsing. Ji hyo stiffened and almost groaned aloud. It was so unfair why a sound could both make her warm and cold. No matter how good she was in masking her expressions, it did nothing to ease the loud thrumming in her chest.

“Song Ji hyo-ssi? Anyeonghaseyo, I