Chapter 7: Voice from the Past

Attraction doesn’t automatically equate to love though it may end up there. Some attraction could be so hard to forget. An aspect of the experience could claw itself deep in your heart without you knowing and it digs deeper without permission. An unfinished business is always tricky because you will never know how much is left and is still there until it hits you hard. It is a race without distance and finish line. A path with many lefts and rights but no straight lines. An abandoned puzzle that will take forever to finish because no one is bothering to put together the lost pieces.

“Are you sure about this? Like, are we really, really gonna do this? And we’re not going to be thrown off… or, something, I dunno…”

Eyebrows raised, pencils tapping impatiently on the floor. Empty cups of coffee littered everywhere. Papers strewn around the small apartment while two people were sprawled on the floor at positions normal people won’t call comfortable. Many would point out that it looks painful but Ji hyo always thought as long as it helps her think, why give a damn?

Ji hyo stretched after what felt like years of working in silence, with the occasional ing in her part, almost hitting a can of soda. Tae Goon jerked and gave her a disapproving look that did little to make her ‘sorry’ sound sincere. She grinned at him but it only earned her a flying crumpled ball of paper. Of all the stuff that could distract the boy, it was the can of soda, which did the trick.

“It’s going nowhere. We’d be blacklisted even before we graduate. Why am I doing this with you again? Why did I let you drag me in this hellhole to plot our ends?” she whined and though it was said in a joking way, mainly to annoy her partner, it felt good to air out her fears. She just can’t help it. She knows she’s good, just not sure if she’s good enough out there.

Tae Goon didn’t stop working but he slowed down with a sigh. “You can’t seriously doubt us at this point. Not when they’re going to shoot the first episode next week.” He grabbed an envelope and tossed it to her lap. “Go listen to those, Ji hyo. You’d probably be better at picking something good for the OST.”

“Is that a compliment I’m hearing Tae Goon? I thought you said my ego is already big enough as it is.”

“Yeah, such great confidence and yet you still doubt and whine like a toddler.” he grumbled without raising his head, totally absorbed in his task. He was examining and reviewing the profiles of their cast wanting to write and adapt their script to bring out their people’s strengths. He looked so professional as he did it that it helped alleviate some of Ji hyo’s fears. She was still wondering what she’s doing there. It was still hard to believe it was real.

Here she is, twenty-two, a college sophomore majoring in creative writing slash drama scriptwriter. Two years ago, she would have laughed if you tell her she’d end up writing anything. Now, she is with a person she almost declared a nemesis, brainstorming for a drama. And it wasn’t bad. She isn’t sure Tae Goon knows it, but he has a way of making her feel stuff -- not the romantic thingy, but he could pull the right strings to make her work.

And it did feel like something will finally work out right. That finally, maybe, she made the right decision two years ago.

With a smile, she placed a random disc in her laptop without looking at the details. A song echoed in the apartment and it was good but it was too early to decide. Another disc followed, then another. In ten minutes, she has rejected four already.

They were all good but it wasn’t enough. It was nice to listen to the songs but they failed to move her. It wasn’t actually their fault (maybe it is because of someone) but she was spoiled by something good. No matter how bad it had been, there were things she cannot deny. Some stuff just can’t be forgotten. Stuff you don’t want but had influenced you so badly that you’re not even aware of it.

The second to the last disc wouldn’t play and Ji hyo had almost given up on it when a catchy tune filled the silence and that yearning she didn’t knew existed. Ji hyo froze staring at her laptop.

Her heart raced, beating loudly in her ribcage, blood pounded hard in her ears. It was like being deaf to everything else but that voice. There was no more noisy dripping from the kitchen or the clacking of keys from Tae Goon’s computer. She was listening but was hearing the past. Remembering the first time she heard that voice. She was catapulted back into time. A rip, a void she didn’t know still existed pulled her hard and she was falling again. The familiarity tugged and screamed at her.

It has ended and yet it didn’t really stop. It was stuck and it was hard to breathe. She wanted to claw at it and sever its ties, forget and yet she hears. It was a song she has never heard of before and yet she missed so badly.

Ji hyo?

JI HYO!

Ji hyo snapped from her trance annoyed that the distant echoes were still there. The laptop came into view. An earthquake (it was actually just Tae Goon shaking her with Hulk-like force) pulled her back into reality. She tried to flash a cocky grin but failed and it was so unfair. It was two years ago! She was doing great. She had walked away, trained herself not to entertain fantasies of what ifs and escaped. Not once, did she go back and they were wrong.

Not everyone comes back.

Yet, she wonders, if this is his way of coming back?

It isn’t! There was nothing there. It was an illusion. She broke the magic and never returned. This doesn’t count… it’s not as if he was looking for her, as if he’s running after her.

So what right has the world to make her feel what she missed?

A stinging pain brought her back from the chaos of thoughts threatening to engulf her. Tae Goon’s face became much clearer now. Her left cheek was complaining. She was gaping at him.

“For a moment, I really considered calling an ambulance… to an asylum. That was a panic attack right there. Unless you do crazy reactions often like in that Japan bread anime, song version.”

She was being stupid and emotional again. There was no broken hearts involved nor did she have anything to mourn.

It was a stupid curiosity that she almost let destroy her.

“Not a panic attack and I know nothing about your Animes. I’m fine… I just got a writer’s boom moment. You know how it is to be hit with huge inspirations, like Iron Man getting hit by Thor’s lightning won