SOOYOUNG’S POV

I stared at him. At those gorgeous set of dark brown eyes that never failed to capture me. He threw me down under him within a flash. His ability to swiftly ease me into whatever position he wanted caused me to let out a small yelp, one that I would do anything to take back…because that meant one thing.

And he knew all to well about my quirks.

“You. Stay. Still,” he commanded in that tone of voice that makes one hold their breath.

 I wanted to smack that stupid smirk off his damn gorgeous proportioned face, but his undeniable aura suffocated me into a drunken state. I was gone; already taken by him.

He read through my movements as if I had confessed out loud, “TAKE CONTROL CHANGMIN-AH, IT’S BEEN AWHILE. BUT I’M ALL YOURS FOR THE TAKING NOW.”

But I stayed there frozen and quiet. So unbelievably quiet that the sound of my heartbeat screamed in my ears. “LUB DUB. LUB DUB”.

My small thin self stayed pinned in between his legs, caught and waiting for whatever he planned next.

The Alpha male was always loved in novels and movies, heck even in real life…which explained why I fell for the man in the first place. The way he was soft in the inside and yet kept a cool exterior was something he perfected in showing me, and I being the one that got to see just how mushy he could truly be, fell in love back then.

He let go of his grip around my wrist and ever so slowly, began to trail the profile of my face. The touch of his fingertips lingering on my skin felt so foreign yet all too familiar at the same time. I closed my eyes shut when his thumb stopped upon my lips. Gently, he rubbed them as if wondering how it would be like to connect once more. Or rather, those were my exact thoughts that I was hoping he imagined too.

I tugged at my bed sheets below me in anticipation for his attack, my heart ready to be stolen from him again…if only he found it worth taking.

But when seconds passed, and his touch disappeared away from my face, a part of me knew that we were still chapters away from our happily ever after…if our future even had that in store for us.

I slowly opened my eyes to face him just inches away from me. I could feel the warmth of his breath blow onto me like the comfort of an autumn breeze during a chilly evening.

He looked dazed and confused, his worries plastered upon his face that I now wanted to cup my hands around…wanting to comfort him from the dark clouds that surrounded his thoughts.

“What happened to us?”

His question was simple yet all too complicated to figure out an answer to.

Both of us I figured never understood our falling out. We both had our theories, but we never took the time to realize what exactly occurred between us that forever replaced our happiness into hate. It was a touchy subject then and it was a touchy subject now.

Our breakup.

It happened years ago like an earthquake---quickly came out of nowhere and left some serious damage. Plenty were left broken and would take time to rebuild…that is if one took the time to fix it.

“I…we…back then…”

No comprehendible sentences formed in my mind as if my brain died due to the sudden shock of such an abrupt question.

That’s when it happened. Jessica’s furry little steps stormed into the room as she blasted through the doors like a firecracker.

“YAHHH! CHOI –THE-FREAKING- SOOYOUNG! WHY THE HELL DOES IT SMELL LIKE IN HERE?!?!”

Caught off guard by her appearance, I tried to explain the situation, but I can already tell by the fact that her eyes seemed to dangle from its sockets, that I had already given her one early Halloween scare.

It didn’t take long for Mickey to enter right after. His upper half still exposed with just the small white towel wrapped securely to hide the rest of his frame.

Jessica’s face scrunched up with anger and her eyes filled with suspicion when I was hit with another stumped question for the second time that day,

“Now which one of you is that Park Yoochun? Which one are you married to Sooyoung?!”

She waved the white envelope in the air as if it was a winning lottery, but nothing about that thing brought any smiles upon our faces.

I shot Mickey an intense stare as our “marriage” was only known to minimal people. It wasn’t even real for goodness sake, but that was beside the point. The fabricated document was signed years ago and was quickly discarded after the entire fake escape of a period that we were “husband and wife”. That envelope in her hands had to be fake…just had to.

The thing about a best friend is their ability to understand you with the most minor detail. Mickey grabbed Jessica and gently shoved her out of the room while she continued to retaliate with her flailing hands whacking his bare chest as they disappeared out of my vision. 

The resurface of the entire thing was ridiculous. Mickey and I were no longer married. We never were. It shouldn’t have happened. Could not have happened.

The room remained quiet for a few uncomfortable seconds before Changmin let out a sigh. Disappointed? Angry? Sad? I didn’t know, but he withdrew himself from my presence, slowly loosening his hold on me as he pushed himself off the bed. My reaction was to quickly stand up and follow him…so I did.

I reached out for his wrist.

It won’t happen.

I could feel his pulsation; it was beating as fast as mine. We were connected even if we technically weren’t. I stared at the back of his head. His hair remained frizzy as if it was made that way in order for my fingers to travel upon his locks and straighten his do.

“What happened to you that one night Soo? You knew how much it meant for me to have you there…I told you beforehand that I needed you, but you never came. Then I found out you ditched me because you had stuff to handle with another man.”

I tugged at his wrist, trying to set him to face me, but his tall self wouldn’t budge an inch. I was confused…not sure of what exactly he meant by his words. I was afraid of answering for the subject seemed delicate. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and dampen the mood even more; although, it wasn’t like I knew what ‘that one night’ was either. So I remained silent, hoping that he’d talk.

“I needed you by my side the most back then...that’s why things changed. That’s why I changed. You weren’t there because you got married.”

I let go of his wrist.

I remembered that one day when our relationship started to turn sour. He never forgave me for not “showing up” at that ball game, nor did he ever talk about what happened. But it was then that he indeed changed…slowly pushing me away from that soft side of him and blocking me with cold walls that were hard to break through.

“That’s not fair.”

I pounded his back with my fists; disappointed that he would say such a thing to me.

“You got married. Don’t tell me that those documents just seconds ago were fake, that the governmental stamp is just a hoax…”

“I waited for you that night…but you never showed up. I tried to contact you endlessly…but you never picked up. Then when you decided to resurface, you stood before me and remained silent. That image of you hit me like a ton of bricks. You never told me anything and yet I still forgave you.”

FLASHBACK

Sooyoung straddled her belongings into her small hands before dumping them entirely into her bag. Mickey looked on from a close distance. The tall girl had just rampaged through his refrigerator packing beverages and snacks of all kinds without a care in the world that they weren’t hers, but actually his. He laughed to himself seeing his friend puff her cheeks while trying to shove one more yogurt inside.

“When am I actually going to meet this boyfriend of yours Summer?”

It took him by surprise when she first spilled the beans to her that she was currently dating someone. Her bright description of being in a super happy content relationship was intriguing to him. It was a few years since his best friend left Japan and in those moments separated, he always wondered if she was alright. To know that she found someone to lean on and protect, was a sigh of relief.

“You literally just arrived in Korea and you want to start trouble Mickey?” She teased.

“I was just curious to see who this boy is that will be your actual husband some day.”

Sooyoung held her head in her hands, her face burning red with embarrassment. She didn’t deny the thought of having Changmin as her husband, but instead often would call herself Mrs. Changmin secretly in her mind. The sound of such a title sounded pretty good according to her.

“Ooooh what is this I see? Summer blushing? Ooooh”

Yoochun laughed as he threw a pillow at the girl who immediately retaliated as she ran towards him with full speed. They were years older now, but they still acted like children with their silly games. Despite only recently reuniting, they were still close as ever. A part of that was the reason why people mistook their relationship for something more. Some of those people being their parents.

“Yah! Yah! The contract!” Yoochun shouted while Sooyoung loosed her grip from her head lock on him before they both exploded into laughter.

“Summer, are you sure you don’t want a ride to the ball park?”

“Aniyo,” She waved as she straddled the heavy bag over her small shoulders.

“Besides Mickey, it’s out of the way from where you’re headed in sending the documents.”

“Did you call him beforehand? It’s somewhat dark outside now though…”

“He doesn’t know I’m going” She answered excitedly as she dashed out of his house with the biggest smile painted upon her face.

--

She turned the corner with a spring in her step as she saw the bright field lights twinkling in the horizon. She could smell the scent of fresh cut grass as she continued on into a full sprint towards the field. Clutching happily at the sides of her bag, she reached the field only to be met with a chaotic crowd pushing towards the parking lot. Confused, Sooyoung pushed through the mess and travelled towards the dugout. Not a single player was present. She wondered if she was late. Did the game end? She pouted; disappointed that she couldn’t catch her Changmin spiffed up in the pin striped uniform that she always pictured in her mind. Sooyoung refused to give in and call him, for that would ruin the beauty of the entire surprise event she had perfectly planned out. She was convinced that if she waited long enough, he would somehow reappear. 

Minutes passed by.

She paced back and forth along the sidelines. She paced back and forth along the benches. One step up, one step down.

She kicked the dirt upon the mound and brought her hands out forming the perfect pitcher’s stance. She giggled as she imagined her tall boyfriend, the popular ace pitcher. How daringly attractive her man must look at times like that. Her heart fluttered knowing that he belonged to her. That his powerful arms that threw those countless strikes wrapped around her.

She found a comfortable little area in the dugout where she sprawled her long body. Hugging her large packed bag, she pulled out a yogurt and hungrily slurped it down in one go. When the clouds above dissolved into the midnight sky, she figured something was wrong.

She called his number, no longer caring about the surprise. All she wanted was to hear his soothing voice on the other end of the line.

No answer.

She sent a text message; a cute one that nagged as to why he was ignoring her calls.

No reply.

She rebooted her phone, convinced that there was something wrong with her connection or some sort of fault in the crap technology and repeated every action countless times. But it was the same result…nothing.

Hours passed by.

Sooyoung started to walk. Down the familiar streets, she walked with heavy footsteps toward his house. The streetlights flickered on and off, leaving an unsettling feeling in her stomach. She didn’t like it.

The roar of thunder erupted in the all too silent night, which brought an icy feeling to shoot up her spine. Not long after, the clear black blanket that hugged the skies filled with random lightning accompanied by the dripping of harsh rain.

Sooyoung ran…the heavy bag dragged her down, the rain poured down upon her; disguising the few tears that seeped down from her eyes. She didn’t like it at all.

She waited at the side of his dark house. Not a single light on in the premises, she fixated her gaze down the road…waiting for her handsome tall boyfriend to appear before her.

--

Changmin woke up from the sprinkle of sunlight that danced on his face, the brightness stinging his eyes. His body was wrapped warmly upon the cotton white sheets in an unfamiliar bedroom. Articles of clothing left a trail along the hardwood floors. Slowly, he retrieved them, dressing himself up from just the tight boxers he only had on. He could still taste the alcohol that lingered on his taste buds as he picked up his cell phone from the far vanity.

17 missed calls. 12 unread messages.

The notifications clouded the home screen, which in the background was a picture of a beautiful girl with the most gorgeous loving smile the world had to offer.

His Choi Sooyoung.

Changmin raised his head to be faced with his disgusting reflection staring back at him. Just what did he do last night?

One by one, the events started to seep back into his memories: the hit, the hospital, the karaoke room, the drinks, and the ride back to her house…the mistakes.

Although he was certain that he didn’t cross all the bases with that nurse named Soojin, the regret in his actions were no less.

Why he even decided to become intimate with anyone other than Sooyoung?

He blamed the need of escaping from reality. How in one instant he put another in the emergency room…he needed to forget it all. Soojin was there at the right time.

He pounded his fist onto the vanity causing the contents atop to shake. A picture frame that so neatly stood toppled over.

KARMA.

What goes around comes around.

And Changmin was sure that he had hell to pay for the damage he caused. As he pulled the picture frame back up of the nurse he surely now wanted to forget, a pocket sized photo fell flat onto the surface.

Daddy and Sooyoung dongsaeng was inscribed in cursive at the back.

His fingers trembled as he reached for the item.

Although much younger, there she was, a picture of a beautiful girl with the most gorgeous loving smile the world had to offer.

His Choi Sooyoung.

At that instant, he punched the mirror, his knuckles cracked as it hit the bare cement. When he pulled out, blood dripped along the side of his arm, small shards of glass stuck out. He felt no pain aside from the burning sensation from his sunken heart.

--

Sooyoung immediately got up from the fetus position she kept herself in the entire night as his appearance finally appeared in the horizon. Minutes, hours, even a day late…but she was glad to see his tall frame. Sooyoung brought her tired body and forcefully ran towards him. The person that stood before her was not that of her beloved Shim Changmin, but someone who looked awfully familiar. The Shim Changmin she knew never had such a drowned out, lifeless face. The Shim Changmin she knew would never hurt a fly unless it harmed her.

Yet she pulled him in, showering him with the warmest hugs…she’d make sure that her Shim Changmin reappeared.

Changmin stood there silent. He noticed that she waited for him. Sooyoung’s damp clothes pressed up against his dry self shattered his heart even more. He didn’t deserve her.

Sooyoung ran her fingers through his messy hair, knowing that she needed to try to comfort him even without him saying anything. She noticed the bruised mark of what looked like a hickey near the side of his neck. If it was true, she didn’t deserve that, but she immediately forgave him.

No ifs, no buts, no questions asked.

She knew Changmin truly loved her and so she said the words that soothed his heart on that nightmare he couldn’t snap out of,

“Saranghae.”

----------------------------------------------------

“You got married and I was unfaithful. In point blank, that’s what happened to us huh?” Changmin said matter-of-factly. It was the truth and it was more than difficult to hear from the both of them. After that incident that one night, they both secretly knew about each others’ whereabouts, about what the other had been up to. That didn’t prevent them from trying to keep the relationship...but it did cause friction that eventually led to separation that they both didn’t think would occur.

He turned around after the pounding of Sooyoung’s fists on his back started to weaken. He pulled her hands down and wrapped them around him as he patted the girl’s head gently. She hated him for his ability to soothe her down with just one touch.

“SOOYOUNG-AH!!” Jessica’s shriek from the living room was loud enough to break their moment. They let go of each other and awkwardly took a few steps back.

“I clearly should be leaving before that poor girl kills her vocal cords.”

“Mmm.” Sooyoung replied lowly as she twirled her thumbs, avoiding his eye contact.

Just as she heard the turning of the doorknob and his body almost leaving from the corner from her eyes, she yelped out a question that she desperately wanted to ask,

“Is it FIXABLE?”

He understood it completely.

“Well the damage has already been done…Soo, all that’s left to do is rebuild…if we want...We can never predict the future.”

He turned to face her from the doorway.

She simply gave her reaction to that with that trademark smile that made her Choi Sooyoung. 

==============================

A/N:

After SEVERAL MONTHS, I finally logged back onto this place~ I'm still not really in the FF writing mood with skl killing me, but I came to update this thing since it's been FOREVER. I feel so incredibly sorry to all my subscribers... T^T but I'm truly grateful that you take the time to actually read this whenever I do update! ♥