~*~3 Weeks Later ~*~

JR's POV

I kind of feel bad. I just left that note with Minhyun with no real explanation. It actually took a lot for me to even write it. Well I suppose I was going to write the first half and let him know that I was going to talk to Manager-hyung about Aaron's cold. I suppose the rest could have waited. In fact, I wanted it to wait. But it was just nagging at me. I don't know what really brought the realization on (probably talking with Baekho) but ever since then; I just can't seem to get my dongsae out of my mind. I don't know what it is about Minhyun, but it's like I'm seeing him for the first time in a different light.

It's strange. I almost feel repulsed at myself and I'm sure if I had those feelings before now, I probably would seek help for them. But after everything that has gone on, I have gotten a better understanding about the 'gay' thing and it's not that bad. Well as long as I don't walk in on someone, which I've done twice now? Maybe more? Not sure, I think I'm trying to block those memories out.

I haven't talked to him since then and I don't know what to do. He has Aron, who is making him really happy. And I know after the way I treated him, he probably wants nothing to with me. The fact that we can still talk to each other is a blessing. It took months of hard work to just get on this level of comfort and that was when I was really fighting with myself.

I need to talk to him; I just don't know how I should do it. I don't want to stalk him or anything, because then the others will start to question. In fact, I really can't do anything. It's bad enough they looked at me strangely and thought something was wrong with me when I started helping out with Ren and Baekho's relationship issues. If I start doing other things, then they'll really know something is wrong. And I can't afford to have them know I like Minhyun now. I made a big issue on being gay and now it seems that's the way I am. If Aron found out, he'd probably try to kill me.

What am I going to do? I need to talk to someone, but who? Who?

~*~*~

No One's POV

Adrian sat across from JR at the restaurant of his choice. He so did love it when his dongsae's decided to pay for him. But given how much Nu'est has mooches off of him it was only fair.

"So." He said, picking at his lunch. Grabbing some meat, he ate it, eyes locked on JR who refused to look up at him. "To what do I owe this wonderful meal to?" He asked. "Is it a special day or something? I haven't heard from you guys in a while. How did the tour go?"

"Yeah, well we were busy with the tour and all." He whispered.  Looking up, he finally stared at his hyung and sighed. "The tour went well. We had some issues with Baekho and Ren, but they worked it out. Aron got sick for the last concert and missed it. But all and all it was okay." He said carefully, looking away again.

"Oh that's good. I'm glad those two managed to get things worked out. I know they love each other greatly. I'm happy for them.” Adrian said with a small chuckle. He took a sip of his coke before clearing his throat again. "Anything else going on?" He asked.

JR sighed, picking up hid chopsticks and poking at his food. So there was something going on. Something the other didn't seem to want to talk about. "JR, tell hyung what's the matter." After all, he seemed to be the go to person when they had issues. Ren when he was discovering his ual orientation, JR when they needed help getting Baekho to see his mistakes. And Ren again, when he left the group for that short period of time. He did his best to help, he gave suggestions, but it was up to them to either take his help or not.

"Well." JR muttered, but didn't continue on. Adrian let out a sigh and from underneath the table, nudged his leg to get him talking. "I have this problem and I didn't have anyone else to talk to." That was strange. He was the first person JR went to? Why not the members? Even if it was a relationship problem, he could have gone to the other four right? Or was it about one of the members? Was he not getting along with someone?

"What kind of problem?" Adrian asked, leaning in some.

"Well, I like this....person." JR said and glanced up at Adrian. "But they're already I'm a relationship with this friend of mine. I don't know what to do." He explained vaguely. Well now this was interesting. Adrian has never known JR to like anyone in the time that he’s known him. And for him to come to him with his relationship problems…well it was actually very odd.  It still doesn’t make since that he didn’t talk to someone else. He was sure one of the members knew more on relationships. Adrian only knew about his relationship, which was messed up as it was. Certainly Aron or Baekho would be able to help him. They both had experience with feelings for girls.

Or…was that the problem? Was this person not a girl? Well that would explain why he wouldn’t go to the members. Not after all he said and did. But why go to Adrian then? He blew up at him too and said hurtful things to him, even though Adrian really didn’t hold it against the other.

“JR, you need to be more specific. Who is this person? Is it someone I know?  Someone that I’ve might have met?” he asked. JR groaned and shook his head. He stood suddenly, head still bowed.

“Never mind. I shouldn’t have come to talk to you.” He said and started to lift his tray of food. Adrian reached out and grabbed one of his wrists.

“It’s a boy isn’t it?” Adrian asked, looking up at him. “That’s the problem? You have feelings for another man?” JR looked around to make sure no one was listening. That’s the last thing he wanted, was for someone to overhear. Sighing, he sat back down and stared at Adrian, nodding.

“Yeah.”

“Well why didn’t you say something? Why did you have to come to me? I’m sure the other’s would be willing to help you with that.” He said.

“I don’t think so.” JR said with a small frown. “It’s been rough…after that…day.” He said. “Getting their trust back has been hard. But I’ve finally gotten it and I don’t want to screw it up again.” He said.

“Screw it up?” Adrian confused and stared at him. “Why would liking a man screw up your trust?” he asked. It just wasn’t clicking for him. Nothing about this made sense and it was going to make him go crazy if he didn’t get a straight answer out of the other. “JR, who do you like? Tell me!”

Letting out a deep sigh, JR shifted in his seat slightly, eyes lowering once more. “Minhyun.” He whispered. Adrian paused as the word left the other’s lips. He almost thought he hadn’t heard that correctly. But he knew he had. After everything that happened, JR liked Minhyun. And Minhyun was with Aron, and that was all JR’s fault. JR basically drove Minhyun into Aron’s arms, not that JR would have known he had done that, since he hadn’t had feelings back then. So, where did these feelings come from?

“When?” Adrian asked.

“I don’t…know.” JR whispered, daring to look back up at the other. “I just know that once we got on the tour and issues with Baekho and Ren started, I started learning to become more comfortable with everyone and their talking about being in a relationship with another man. And then, one day I looked at him and I just…realized.”

“Oh JR.” Adrian whispered and sighed. That was so sad. It made him want to cry. He realized his attraction too late. But…then he should give up and let Minhyun be happy. But instead he was there, talking to him, wanting to know what to do. “JR, you realize you need to let Minhyun be happy right?” he asked.

“I know.” JR said with a nod. “I don’t know if I want to let him be happy though. I’ve been thinking a lot on the past and I wonder what it would have been like, if he were with me instead. And the more I think on it, the more I want him.” He said.

“Oh no.” Adrian said, shaking his head. “No JR, stop thinking like that. You can’t do that to Minhyun. You hurt him so much and he’s finally moved on to be with someone who’s made him happy. JR, don’t ruin that for him and don’t risk your friendship with Aron or risk your position in the group. There will be other people.” Adrian tried convincing him.

“I know.” He said once more with a nod. But Adrian wondered if he truly knew or was just saying that to make him feel better. Adrian kind of felt like it was the latter of the two. “I just, I told him my feelings and we haven’t talked since then.”

“Oh!” Adrian said and finally understood. Okay, that was better. He was a bit worried that JR was going to end up doing something stupid. He was glad that wasn’t the case. “So why haven’t you talked then?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I feel like if I try to, the other’s might get suspicious and I don’t want them to know about this. I’ll be hounded like something crazy.” He said and Adrian nodded, understanding where he was coming from. “And he’s been…avoiding me. I know I probably upset him with my words, but I really want to talk to him about it. Just to clarify things.”

“I see.” Adrian said. “Well that does make it hard.” He said and thought for a moment, going back to pick at his food. “So then, did you want me to do something to help, or did you just need someone to talk to?” he asked.

“Both, actually. I was thinking, maybe you could call Minhyun and set up a time and place for us to meet alone so I could talk to him.”

“I could.” Adrian said with a nod. “I guess I could do that. Because you just want to clear things up right? You don’t want cause any more trouble.” He said.

“Right.” JR said nodding his head, smiling some. He was getting hopeful that his hyung would actually help him on this.

“Alright. I’ll do it.” Adrian agreed. “But afterwards, I’m going to get the others to try and find you someone. Do you still like girls too?” he asked.

“I do.” JR nodded.

“Okay then. Well I’ll get that arranged and text you the information later alright?” Adrian said.

“Thank you hyung!” JR said happily. Getting up, he moved around the table and bowed before hugging Adrian tightly.

“You’re welcome. And I’m glad to see you’ve worked on your problems. I like this JR a lot better than the previous one.” Adrian said, smiling and JR blushed.

“I like this side of me too.” He said and took his seat once more, going back to eating. He spent the rest of the lunch hour with Adrian just catching up on things their groups were doing.