You are my yin and I am your yang. It was supposed to be that way until you let fate mess around

-Kim Minseok

Dead. The word left a bitter after taste on his tongue as he repeated the doctor's words. He felt strength left his body as he crashed into his seat. His vision was blurred as tears started to form. Pain and grief consuming him whole. The silent world he lived became more still and dull. He watched the vivid colors fading into black and white. It was like watching a silent film. The faintest of the sound completely gone. Warm tears fall down on his knees as his mind tried to process it all. Xiumin was gone. Not coming back. It was the horrendous idea of his brother's comfortable presence gone that made his heart cringe in despair. The soft tap on his head made him look up. The familiar features of his childhood friend Jongdae greeted him. Even him was in monochrome.  

"I can't see the colors anymore" he softly muttered. Shaking inside the comforting embrace of his friend. Jongdae must have softly whispered soothing words to heal his scarred heart but he can't hear. His world became a silent film. It was futile already. He was drowning in deep sorrow. 

The secret sanctuary they both shared, their room, became empty. It was only the first step and he can feel the lingering scent of his brother's perfume and his paint blending. It was the same assuring smell that comforts their sleep. Xiumin was his opposite, his counterpart. His light and color bearer. His other half. He clutched his aching heart in an attempt to halt the stabbing pain as he took another step forward inside the rooms filled with their scribbles and doodles. His blank gaze was on the colorless scribbles on the wall. The shared memories they painted, it was their history. A secret of their own. 

"Hyung" He mouthed as he broke yet again. Tears pouring down his cheeks like the somber autumn rain. His cries was soft and controlled as he tried to suppress the expanding agony. Recollections flashed in front of him like it was scenes of his favorite movie. The soft vibration of his brother's old phone caught his attention. Eyeing the caller id flashed on the ringing phone, he blinked. Luhan. It reads.

"As I was saying" Xiumin enclosed his face with his hands to forbid him from looking away. He smiled at his brother's childishness. "There was this guy who sings really well" 

"As much as Jongdae?" He asked. A little bit curious about this transfer student that made his brother so talkative. His brother answered with a proud grin followed by the soft nod on his head. "I see" he tried to resume painting but was again caught by his brother. 

"I'm still talking!"

"I know. I'll probably be about how cool his voice is or how cute he is. Hyung, you've repeated that for about an hour an a half"

"But he really is"

"I don't doubt you, hyung. Its just that" Xiumin stared at him lovingly with a apologetic smile. "I can't hear it. The beautiful voice that you are talking about"

"Sorry, Minseokkie" Minseok smiled at his older twin. Minseok was the entire opposite of his perfect brother. He was a deaf. It was not inborn though. It just suddenly happened. He was playing the violin with his brother when everything became silent and the only thing he can hear is the loud screams of the people around him. He was useless. Whereas, Xiumin was smart and athletic. Minseok was average and timid. There was only music that they share together. The sounds of their synchronized violin and viola was their only bond and it was enough. Xiumin loves and dotes on his younger twin as much Minseok respects and obeys his older twin. They had each other and it was alright. "I was just excited." 

"No worries, hyung" Xiumin eyed at the masterpiece of his brother. It was a vividly drawn picture of an angel spreading his wings as he plays the viola on his hand. Art. It was the only thing that Minseok has a rule over his brother. Xiumin giggled merrily. 

"You'll win that competition. I just know it"

"Of course, I will. Then you'll date Luhan or whoever was it"

"Yah! Why are you doubting my words? I said you'll win that competition so you will" Xiumin huffed. If there was one thing his brother was to him. He was everything. The absolute existence in his life. 

Minseok watched the commotion silently. Luhan, his brother's lover, refusing to believe the news of Xiumin's death was throwing a tantrum. Minseok was often shy and meek, afraid of people's gazes. He didn't know what overcome him when he neared the wailing man and loudly stated his hatred. "You do know I hate you, right? I am Kim Minseok, Xiumin's twin brother" The statement was enough to silence the boy. It was enough to halt the commotion. It was enough to make the man miserable. 

"I'm sorry" The man murmured beneath his sobs. The guilt and grief eating him away. Minseok eyed at his pathetic state. It was similar to his own. He know the feeling of losing someone dear. Still, it was not enough to take away the hatred and anger in his heart. It was entirely his fault that his precious brother died. It must be. Otherwise, he will never recover from the depths of despair. It was coward of him to push the blame to another but it was the only way to escape. His colors was now lost. He can't paint anymore. His music completely gone. He was nothing but an empty shell. He needed to push away the little of grief to survive.

"Your sorry won't bring my brother back." Minseok stared at the fragile structure of the man. His eyes covered with bandages and his body draped with a white medical gown. "Nor the colors back" There was silence. It was more silent than silence can ever be. The somber atmosphere and the smell of antiseptic was bringing the silence into the surface. It was eerie. No one spoke. 

"I'm sorry" The man repeated. Minseok sighed. He reminded himself of what he must do. He stared at the broken man sobbing and he enveloped him in a comforting hug. "I'm sorry Xiumin, I'm sorry Minseok-ssi. It was all my fault"

"Live" Minseok whispered as he remembered the things he must do. "To fulfill hyung's wish and to atone for your sin. Live in a future without hyung at your side. Live so that you can be forgiven"

 "Minseokkie~" Xiumin called from below the bunk bed forgetting that his brother was not sensitive to soft sounds. He climbed at his brother's bed and poked his cheeks. 

"Hyung?" Minseok rubbed his sleepy eyes as he eyed his brother with sleepy eyes. Xiumin smiled at the adorable face his brother was making. "What is it?" Xiumin invited himself inside Minseok's blanket cuddling the younger twin. It was cramped but comfortable. Minseok blinked at his brother's actions as he read his lips. 

"If I'm gone, take care of Luhan and my school dongsaengs. Take care of yourself too. Don't lock yourself inside the studio" Minseok had no idea why his brother was saying some weird things. He thought it was just because of the heavy dose of caffeine from the expresso they had earlier. He paid no heed to it. He was compliant that his brother would always be with him. He was not aware that it will be the last time they would sleep cuddling each other. If only he knew, he wont have let the cold night breeze lull him to sleep. He would have talked with him whole night. He didn't and that was what hurts. If he stayed awake just a little bit he would have read his lips whisper "I love you, Minseokkie, dear brother of mine" It was now gone and carried by the wind away from him. He won't be able hear him say it anymore.

[a/n: I am really hoping that this would do the magic and that I will be able to study! Please pray that it'll be~ I need to pass that damn exam! xD Hope you enjoyed the story~]