Jongin's POV

Instead of sleeping at two in the morning, I found myself in front of a mirror, wearing a black tank top, some jeans and a black fedora hat. Yes, it's a little weird, but, for some reason, I just felt like dancing.

So, if you're asking why I just felt like dancing, I'll tell you why. I actually have three reasons why: First, dancing takes out my stress, which is really contradicting because dancing makes people tired, but to me, it doesn't. Second, I find myself really cool that I am one of those people who can dance no matter what they feel, if I feel hurt, or happy or sad, no matter what, I still dance. Lastly, when I felt like giving up before, but it was Joonmyeon-hyung who said: " Life is a dance, sometimes there are easy steps that we could just learn, but, there are hard steps
and because of these, we make mistakes. In every dance, we must learn how to learn from these mistakes, and do it all over again until you perfect it."

" Life is dance." I said as I started stretching in front of a mirror.

I've never had some time alone.  every single day of my life,my time was spent on performing this, performing that, rehearsing this, rehearsing that, shooting for this, shooting for that, taking off my shirt, and whatever I can think of. If I wasn't performing or rehearsing, I would either be with Sehun, or Luhan or Kyungsoo, but, there was never a time in my life that I was alone.

So, back to reality, I put on some of the demo tracks I had from our teasers last year. I danced Machine, My Lady, and even Two Moons, even though Yixing-hyung was supposed to be with me. I could say that I got rid of all the stress in me, but, there was still this one thing that I kept inside of me, and apparently, this thing would be impossible to let go: Sadness.

I might not show it, but, I am sad. Well, I've been living a two-faced life. I never show my real self, until now. Never once in my life, until Joonmyeon-hyung died. There was never a time in my life that I felt so sad, so worthless and so guilty that I just wanna slit my throat open.

After dancing Baby Don't Cry, I couldn't help it but do the exact opposite of what the song is trying to tell me. I sobbed so hard that I felt any moment now, I could cry blood. I was so emotional, and all that changed when someone started talking to me.

" What are you doing? Continue."

Thinking it was Yixing-hyung, I quickly replied:

" Hyung, I'm too tired, and too sad. I can't."

" Come on, I wanna see my favorite dancer dance for me. Just one last time." he said.

I widened my eyes in shock. Because Yixing- hyung never calls me a dancer. And second, there is only one person in the group who calls me "favorite."

I gulped, trying to shrug off the feeling that was tingling down my spine. And after having the guts, I asked:

" Joonmyeon-hyung, is that you?"

" What do you think?" he asked me as he patted my head and sat down beside me.

Okay, the first thing I did was widen my eyes. Of course, I was talking to my dead hyung, and I can see him! But, the thing is, he was not on the gigantic mirror in front of me. Second, I didn't know what to do, if I was gonna cry or scream. An lastly, I didn't even know if I was talking to a ghost, or to an angel. He was too pale to be an angel, but, he was also too handsome to be a ghost.

" Yah, Kim Jongin, are you admiring your sweaty body in front of the mirror again? Joonmyeon-hyung asked me as he fixed my hair.

" Uh, yeah, I guess." I replied, making an uncomfortable situation as comfortable as possible.

" It's two in the morning, aren't you supposed to be sleeping already? Don't you have a schedule tomorrow?" he asked me.

" Well, we were supposed to, but, schedules were cancelled, for an entire month." I replied, as I wiped the sweat off my body.

I tried to wipe off every drop of sweat on my body, but, there were always these parts where I couldn't reach. So, being a kind hyung, Joonmyeon-hyung got a towel from the side of the room and started wiping my back.

" Here, let me help you." he said as he continued wiping my back.

For some reason, it felt kinda weird, because Joonmyeon-hyung was always disgusted with my sweaty body, but now, he was even willing to wipe it off me. This was when I felt him once more, I felt his presence, I felt his motherly-character, and most importantly, I felt my leader.

" I miss you." I blurted out.

He chuckled once he heard me say those three words I'd never thought I'd say. He continued wiping my sweat and after a moment, he replied:

" I miss you too, Jongin."

Once I heard him say these five words, I wasted no time turning around and hugging him tight, letting my fresh tears fall onto his shoulder.

" Then why did you have to go? If you miss us so much, then why? You could have stayed a little bit longer. " I said as he I buried my face on his shoulder.

" If it's my time, then it's my time, Jong. I couldn't do anything about it. As much as I want to go back here and spend the rest of the years with you, I can't, because my time has come, and I can never see you again, and it's only when you are all asleep." he replied as he patted my back.

" Hyung, if I could just touch you, and see you, consciously with my own eyes, you'll never know how happy you'll make me." I said as I took hold of his pale hand and interlocked my fingers with his.

" How I wish I could do that, Jong. You know, I also wish I could meet you all, face-to-face, but, it just can't be." he replied as he gripped my hand tighter.

For some reason, when he said "it just can't be", I started crying hard. Joonmyeon-hyung wiped the tears off my face, and I continued talking:

" Hyung, I couldn't let go, I just can't. None of us can. If you just know, we were all so emotional that we didn't eat anything."

" You guys shouldn't be depressed, because I know that you know what the promise was." he said.

" You'll forever be our guardian angel." I replied.

" See, I 'll always be you're guardian angel, and Jongin, if you ever have problems, just call my name, and I'll be there." he assured.

" Well, I get your point, hyung, but, it would always be better if you were really with us." I replied, as I kept my head down.

He held my chin and said:

" I will be."

He hugged me one more time, and I hugged him even tighter.

" I'll miss you." I said, before I felt the entire world turn black and eventually turn into an environment I see everyday when I wake up.

I found myself staring at the ceiling, and a little lampshade that provided a little illumination in the room.

" Hyung." I said as my voice trembled and tears fell.

I was hugging my pillow so tightly that I could imagine Joonmyeon-hyung as the pillow. I can imagine him hugging me back, I can imagine him being there for me every time I felt insecure, I can imagine him just being with me.

I buried my face on the pillow and started crying loudly onto the pillow. I was getting so emotional, and it was kind of a moment-breaker when I heard something from outside my room:

" So, are you awake because Joonmyeon-hyung came to you?"

Even from inside my room, I knew that it was Sehun.

" Sehun-ah."

And that, Luhan.

" I dreamt about him, Lu. He came to me."

" You too?"

" You think he's trying to tell us something?"

I widened my eyes, because everyone who could possibly be outside my room, also dreamt about Joonmyeon-hyung. So, I hurriedly went out of my room, not minding the bloodshot eyes and eyebags I had, all I needed was their comfort. If Joonmyeon-hyung wasn't here, then, it had to be them. They were all I had.

" I think so. I mean, if you come to think about it, he came to six people."

" Make that seven." I said, my voice trembling.

They turned around and looked at me, and from that moment on, another set of tears started to flow out.

" Jongin-ah, you better not be kidding me ." Kyungsoo-hyung said as he approached me and gave me a hug.

" I'm not. I'm not kidding. I dreamt about him." I cried.

He continued patting my back, and the other boys joined our hug as well. We cried together, letting everything out and expressing why we truly felt, and, for the second time, it was such a moment breaker when a door creaked.

We all turned around and saw Jongdae-hyung looking at us.

" Jongdae-ah? What's wrong?" Minseok-hyung asked him as he wiped his own tears away.

" So, you guys did too?" he asked us as he started wiping his tears off.

Immediately, we gathered around him, and gave him a hug.
 

Jongdae's POV

Singing is my passion. Let me tell you two words: Plain Bull.

So, why exactly is it plain bull? I know, you know I'm EXO main vocalist, so, I'm expected to have a nice voice, but, after seeing my inspiration to sing die on a hospital bed like that, bull.

So, it's two a.m, and here I am, sitting down on a toilet, staring at the tiled-wall with a vandalized " 소 녀 시 대" pencil mark on it. I bet Baekhyun could have written that. For some reason, I didn't know what to do with my life. It's like everything just crumbled apart, and everyone was misguided, lost, unable to get back on track. Just like me, totally unable to get back on track, I mean, from all places in the dorm, why on the toilet?

I wasn't ting or anything, I was just there, humming to 4men's Baby Baby, Joonmyeon-Hyung's favorite song. I continued humming to the song, until I felt something in the bathroom with me. Something chilly, something tingling down my spine, something unusual.

I looked outside my window, and I saw what was out there. No, it's not a ghost. Just a foggy mist on the window that blocked the beautiful view of the city lights, and also to mention, rain.

" Oh , the angels are peeing again." I cursed as I placed " 사 랑 해 요" on top of the vandalized "소 녀 시 대." Yes, I admit, I am a SONE, Baekhyun is one as well, the only thing is, he's madly in love with them, and I'm not.

Rain and angel pee. I bet all of you thought of that as the same thing when you were young. I bet you all asked your parents: " Mom, why are the angels peeing?" or " Why don't their pee stink?" But, for me, I didn't waste that much time believing in that and I went straight to the point. It's because evaporation, condensation and precipitation- you know, the water cycle.

Angel pee-  for some reason, this reminded me of Joonmyeon-hyung. I remembered the promise he made before he went on- that he'd be our guardian angel. I may not feel him around me, but, I know that he is watching me, every move I make, he will be there to guide me. In everything I do, my guardian angel would always be by my side, and be there for me always.

I closed my eyes as I listened to the raindrops falling on the roof, listening to any possible rhythm it could make. I was still humming to Baby Baby, until, I had nothing else to do but to sing it.

"Niga neomu gomapjanha Oh baby--" I sang.

" Niga neomu yeppeujanha Oh--" somebody, who was in the shower area, sang.

"Nuneul ttel suga eobseo, nae nunen neoman boyeo--" I sang, trying to make sure if I was just hallucinating or if this was real.

"Neoman gyesok baro bogo sipjanha nan oh jeongmal Oh~ baby." he continued.

I exhaled loudly and slapped myself multiple times.

" You're just dreaming, Jongdae. That's probably just Baekhyun or Kyungsoo." I said as I continued slapping myself.

" Apparently, you aren't." he replied.

I widened my eyes, because there was no one with me in the bathroom, and second, who would be replying if I was alone. I just hope I was dreaming.

" Who's that?" I asked.

Immediately, whoever was inside the showering area opened the shower curtain and smiled at me.

Once he opened the shower curtain, I couldn't help but stare at him, with my eyes really wide, with my jaw dropped and with all the hairs on my body standing up.

" What's with the eyes, Jong?" he asked me.

" What's with the eyes? What's with you? Why the heck are you here?" I asked him, trying to show him how shocked I was.

" I heard you sing. I wanted to listen to it." he said a he leaned on the bathroom's tiled wall.

" Seriously, Joonmyeon-hyung, not now. I'm currently mourning by myself." I complained.

" Why mourn alone? Then I'll mourn with you." he said as he dragged me out of the bathroom and led me to our shared room.

Once we arrived at our shared room, I closed the door and gave him a weird look.

" Mourn with me? So, you're gonna mourn for yourself?" I asked him.

" Maybe." he said, before the environment became silent for a moment. " Or maybe, you just need a nice, warm hug from me." he added as he hugged me.

Once I realized that Joonmyeon-hyung was actually a solid being, I hugged him immediately, even tighter than the way he hugged me.

" Can't --breathe." he said as he tried releasing himself from my death hug.

" I thought you stopped breathing a day ago?" I asked him as I released him.

" Well, yeah, I did, but, please, you're hurting my chest muscles." he said as he protected his chest.

" Chest muscles, my ." I said as I hugged him once more.

We spent about a minute hugging before I said:

" I miss this. I miss everything about you. I miss you."

He chuckled and replied:

" I think everyone misses me, Jong. And since when did you miss me? Are you trolling me again?"

" Hyung, what are you talking about? I miss you, like, really miss you. I miss singing with you, trolling you, spending time with you. Hyung, you don't know how much I miss you that I even thought of following you to the next world." I said, trying to express what I had contained.

" Now that's naive, Jong." Joonmyeon-hyung said, as he chuckled.

" Hyung! Is it because I'm a troll you're thinking that I'm just joking? Listen to me! Because I'm really telling the truth!" I said as I started crying.

Once he saw me cry, he immediately wrapped his arms around me and said:

" Well, of course, I believe in you."

I continued crying like a baby in his arms, and he patted my back to comfort me.

" Why did you have to go? You just don't know what you've done here. You don't know how the eleven of us are adjusting to your loss, you don't know what's happening down here. You were always the one keeping us together, you were the bridge and the glue, and now, without this bridge and glue, everything will just crumble. " I cried.

" I know, Jong. I know that all you of you think that I'm the glue and bridge that bonds everyone together, but, sometimes, you guys just have to learn how to work without me. You have to live without me." Joonmyeon-hyung said as he patted my back.

" But, hyung, we can't live without you. You're our guardian angel, you should be here with us, all the time." I said, as more tears fell from my eyes.

" Dae, I will always be with you. Remember my promise? I'll always be your guardian angel, just call my name, I'll be there." he assured as he hugged me one more time.

I hugged him back as I closed my eyes and whispered into his ear:

" Okay, hyung."

We were hugging for a minute before he started to feel a little squishy, he started to feel soft, and he started to become lighter and lighter, and he started to feel like a pillow.

Apparently, I was right.

I was hugging my pillow, and ultimate mind, everything was a dream.

" Joonmyeon-hyung." I said as I hugged my pillow tighter, and let my tears stain it.

I probably stayed on sitting position for a minute before I heard a group of people talking outside my room. I stood up as listened to what they were talking about:

" Jongin-ah, you better not be kidding me ."

" I'm not. I'm not kidding. I dreamt about him."

It was Kyungsoo and Jongin, and it was clear that they were crying. Mourning over Joonmyeon-hyung.

I had to check what was going on out there, so I slowly opened the door. But, it still made creaking sounds.

Apparently, it wasn't just Jongin and Kyungsoo outside my room, but I also saw Yixing, Minseok, Sehun, Luhan and Zitao. They stared at me for a moment, and I stared back at turn as well.

" Jongdae-ah? What's wrong?" Minseok-hyung asked me as he wiped his own tears away.

" So, you guys did too?" I asked them I wiped my tears off.

Immediately, they gathered around me, and gave me a hug.

" Joonmyeon came to you as well, huh?" Luhan asked me as his voice trembled.

" Yeah, he did. He did. I dreamt about him." I said as I cried even harder.

" It's gonna be okay, hyung." Sehun said as he patted my head.

" Yeah, hyung. We'll move on." Jongin added, as he sniffed.

" Jong, I think he came to everyone as well." someone said as he patted my head.

I looked at the person who patted my head, and I saw Baekhyun, his eyes glistening with tears.

" You too?" Jongin asked him.

All he did was nod his head, as he let his tears fall.

And as any brother would do, I hugged him, the others following me as well.

A.N. // OMG. I'm getting real pssed. -___-  Just like last time, I won't tell you why I'm pissed. But, to all the Filipino EXOTICS, I think you'll know what I'm talking about. Anyway, fifth chapter is up. Sorry for typos. TWO more chappies to go.//