“Jinyoung, this is not the way to our school.”

“Relax Fatty, we’re skipping school.”

“WHAT?”

I blurted and I‘m on the verge of having a panic attack. I haven’t skipped school for forever. I’m a very good student with perfect attendance. Skipping school will void me of the loyalty award that I might also get on the day of graduation. What made me even more on the verge of crying is that he said it like he doesn’t even care if he skips class, well easy for him. He has an IQ comparable to Einstein, but I don’t. I have to study really hard to be on top of the class. I’m a forced social pariah remember. I have to be smart because I can’t be one of the hot girls, and that’s the rules in High school.

He noticed my heavy breathing, “calm down Soo-ji. You’re just skipping school today.” He gave me a half smile “you might have forgotten who you’re with.”

Oh okay so now, he’s bragging about his smart and how he doesn’t have to study to pass his class because he has photographic memory. “You’re acting really weird, and every day you get weirder.” He said which once again gave me a hint that it’s really impossible that he likes me.

I clasp my arms together, I know if I try to act like a kid and throw tantrums at him right now won’t make him change his mind from skipping school today. But does he really have to drag me with him? I still don’t get why he seems so animated and happy today. He made a stop at a local pizza store and order one box, wherever we’re going he’s planning on eating the pizza in that place.

We were on our way to the beaches of Busan, I know this place so well because I grew up here. And he, no he didn’t, they originally lived in Seoul and just transferred to Busan when we were in 4th grade. Yes him and Sehun. The most awful day of my life as I recall it.

We settle near the shore, and thankfully it didn’t rain last night so we don’t need a blanket. Why would we even need a blanket, only couples do that. And we’re not on a date, are we? We’re here alone and he’s awfully being quiet... well for Jinyoung to be quiet for even a second is a gift from heaven.

“What I would pay just to know what’s going on in that head of yours.” He chuckles as he passes me a napkin and a slice of pizza.

“oh no. it’s usually nightmares about how you pushed me from this very tree when we were nine.  Broke my arm, had to wear a cast for three weeks and missed my piano recital.”

“it wasn’t this tree.” He says defensively, pointing to the big willow tree that’s about 2 meters behind us. I shake my head and smile at the sudden embarrassment on his face. Is he feeling bad?

“You think I wouldn’t remember..”

“I didn’t think you would actually fall.” He says softly picking on the sand. His bottom lip is sticking out looking incredibly pink and way more attractive. I like looking at a guy’s hair or eyes, but Jinyoung’s lips attract me and I can’t stop staring.

This is so wrong.

“It’s okay, it’s been nine years, and I think I’m over it by now.” I chuckle and he laughs with me. I’m actually starting to hate myself for hating him so much before.

I can totally see that he feels bad for what he did before. I think it’s because he feels sorry for me now that I’m a social pariah. It’s actually confusing right now, I don’t know if I want the Jinyoung now or the old Jinyoung back?

He winks at me and like a fool I gape at him. He’s flirting with you Soo-ji, say something, do something. Stop looking at him, tell him how much he makes you nervous, tell him you’re not interested. Just do something!

“I got new curtains in my room.” I blurted out.

What?

What in the name of fudge is wrong with me? Curtains? Why, Soo-ji, why?

“I noticed that when I was in your room this morning.” he smiled, “Do I make you nervous?” he looked so smug that I want to hit him with a wrecking ball. It’s not nice that he’s taking advantage of my sudden tongue tied moment in front of him. though I can see now why they’re as attracted to him as they are. He’s gorgeous and he’s extremely aware of it.

“No spending so much time with you is killing my brain cells Jung.”

“that’s obviously because of all the time you spend staring at my airhead brother.” He gets up making me think that he’s mad or something or that I’ve said something wrong

“Hey!” I called him up when he started walking to his car. “are you planning on leaving me alone here?”

He stopped his tracks, so do I.

“Don’t you trust me, Soo-ji?” he half yelled. And my eyes widen in shock

Oh my god. Here we go again. These past few days, he’s been so mean and becoming extra rude. Although, his rudeness doesn’t stay that long. He becomes playful and would start joking around right after like he had another persona.

“is that a rhetorical question?” I half joked and half meant it.

He let out a bitter laugh.

“you can’t blame me. You tormented me for most of my life.” I snort at him.

I guess this is much better. Us, wanting to rip each other’s throat instead being sweet and friendly. When we’re like this, I don’t feel that monster that’s eating my insides every time he comes close or touch me.

“get in the car.” He said and stomped his way to the vehicle.

Okay so the plan for a romantic by the beach “date” is ruined because Jinyoung suddenly was angry, and I don’t know what caused him to be so crazy. Was it my comment about me losing brain cells when he’s around, it was meant to be a joke. Or was it the mention of his brother, I was not even the one who commented about his brother. He was the one who mentioned his brother’s name. oh my god. Is he jealous?

Jinyoung’s jealous.

I think there’s no reason for him anymore to be jealous. If he is. Because right now, I can finally see how long I have been blinded by obsessing about the wrong brother. It’s not Sehun that I like now, it’s him and I don’t know how to tell him. I’m scared to be honest.

What if it was really his plan to make me fall for him? what if this is one of his major pranks? What if he had masterminded everything? And then when I’ve fallen so much in love with him, he’ll dump me and rub it all over my face.

I’m not good with emotions.

But Jinyoung did have a set of really expressive eyes, and even though he’s not saying anything, I could already tell what he wanted just from the looks on his eyes and I’m pretty sure Jinyoung is Angry.

I don’t even know why he’s not acting like his normal self: he’s quiet, brooding, and looked a little murderous in some angles. He kept sighing loudly from time to time while we are in the car and the sighing intensifies when he caught a look at my face. I’m absolutely sure I’m the cause of his anger.

The way Jinyoung drives made me unable to concentrate on anything else but the road. He’s driving at a murderous speed, and deliberately tailgating some cars before then turning a sharp turn to outspeed them. That’s the kind of driving that brought people to the other side of the world.

I let out a screech when Jinyoung suddenly hit the brake, we had just been 5cm from into collision with a hummer

Yes, I calculated the cm.

“Sh*t!” he cursed as the seat belt sprung his body back to the seating. I looked at Jinyoung. He rested his forehead on the steer.

“Uhm Jinyoung.” I asked him, “Jinyoung, can you please do the crazy madman drive again? A lot of people are honking behind us.”

He exhaled really loud. “Fine.”

He was driving again, and it was quiet and peaceful for a while. But Jinyoung then decided that he wouldn’t leave me alone now.

“do you even have the slightest idea of what you’ve done to me?”

I tried to search for his eyes, trying to decode on what’s it that I’m missing, but to no avail. He kept his sight on the road, his jaw twitched slightly in concentration as we are going again on murderous MPH. we were just talking at the beach and then he got mad, he got mad at me and I have no idea why?
 

This was beyond my social skill had prepared me for. Plus the fact that I know he was angry made my stomach churn. This was worse than when I see Sehun down the hallway of our campus. It felt so much worse.

“uhm.. can you.. please elaborate?”

“really?” he looked incredulous. “Soo-ji, , are you honestly this dense? Or is it part of your femme-fatale scheming in which you toy with me and I don’t even know why I let you crush me every single time.”

His words made no sense, like what Darwin’s theory made no sense to me when I first read it.

“What?”

“For Christ’s sake!” Jinyoung was on the verge of screaming now. “I like you okay? I. Like. You. Not in a friend way, in a way that makes me want to kiss you… and now it’s supposed to be ‘I used to like you’ because you decided to play dumb on every single advances that I made. And it makes me think that I really don’t have a chance to make you like me as well because you’re still dreaming of my loser of a step-brother.”

Wow. this guy really. He just confessed his crush on me in one sentence. I was about to clap my hands and congratulate him if I wasn’t really so  thrilled to finally learn that he liked me. He really does like me. Hee-rin and yu-ri was right.

“but, that’s not true. I’ve stopped obsessing about your brother, well maybe before you came back. But, you helped me realize my worth and..-” I felt my cheeks burning and I’m not sure if he notices how I feel embarrassed and shy in our situation.

He turned his face towards me, and my mouth was clamped shut. We were in the middle of the street, lights, blinking in and out, people screaming with the utter urgency of our car stopping, and I was pretty sure that there were people cursing at us.

And yet my whole attention was on Jinyoung’s eyes.

Had I told you how much his eyes spoke? He could tell millions and millions of things in a single look alone, something that not a lot of people could have perfected even if they practice for years. Jinyoung’s eyes spoke volumes, they manage to hurt me and make me feel guilty at the same time.

“I-I’m sorry,” I said “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t make me feel any better, but yeah..” he said quietly.

“I had never had anything close to feeling special or being taken cared of, I am an outcast. For years, I was humiliated, made fun of, became a source of entertainment in campus.” My mouth felt bitter just saying this out loud. “I’m a total fool when it comes to this, having someone protect you and make you feel special. I’ve been dreaming of being with this one guy, but never did he notice me. I lost my bestfriend, and she became a girl version of you. I never had any other friends, Hee-rin and Yu-ri are the closest people that I’ve got. Then you came back and made me feel all sorts of things..-”

The car sped down which meant that Jinyoung was taking this in. we were closing into our neighborhood, but somehow I wanted to say everything there is to say before we got into the house. For some reasons, I felt like the moment we leave the car, everything will be different.

“it’s still impossible for you not to know that I’ve been trying to say that I like you. At least respond, you can say ‘no’ instead of pretending that you’re not aware of it.”

“But I don’t-“ words were stumbling on my tongue, things that I wanted to say were scattered all over the place. This is bad. This is bad. I need to shut up before I make him mad again. “I’m not pretty. I am weird. Other girls are better than me. You and I are not going to work out.”

It was a myriad of poop.

“Soo-ji” Jinyoung stopped the car and looked at me with so much concern it embarrassed the cells out of me “Soo-ji, please stop crying.”

I’m crying?

“B-but, I’m not.. I’m not good. I was fat. I eat a lot of chocolates. I have oily cheeks.” I sniffed. I am not really sure if Jinyoung could catch my words.

“your cheeks are fine.” Jinyoung said as he leant towards me. His right hand in the middle of the air and he contemplated whether to touch me or not. “Can I touch you?

In this condition? No. I am shaking all over because the crying took even more of a toll than I thought. My whole brain was a mess, and when I tried to look at his face, all I could see is a blurred picture. And I didn’t want to experience the flesh eating monster gnawing on my stomach, because that’s what he does to me whenever he touched me.

Jinyoung only looked at me.

“I like you okay?” he gulps and I’m relieved to see that he’s as nervous as I am. “I just want a chance to show you that I’m not the stupid boy who left three years ago. Just give me a chance.”

“I don’t know..” I said without looking at him directly.

“that’s better than a no.” he replied sounding a little defeated, “I’m sorry, Soo-ji.” He said a little gruffly his voice  a little thick.

“What for?”

“For leaving three years ago, for not being there when your bestfriend left you.. For not being there when you cried..” he said but trailed in the last sentence.

I know I cried a lot in the past, back when I was a fatty and had been the center of everyone’s prank. When I had to endure a day of embarrassment after being showered with egg yolk in front of the school body after the cheerleading team told me they’d want me to try out, but turns out it was just a trap. When finally I lost all my fats only to find out that the boy of my dreams has become my ex-best friend's boyfriend. Those were the most I could remember. And I hate that being with Jinyoung made me nostalgic of these things.

“That’s not true.” I denied.

He just raised his brows at me as if telling me to go on.

“M..me crying.” I stuttered

“You stutter when you’re lying. Soo-ji, I was there. All.. the time.” he said it so tender that I almost thought he was crying. But he wasn’t, I looked at him, and all I see in his eyes are anger. Or was it sympathy? I don’t know. Jinyoung’s eyes are confusing. Especially when he’s looking so serious, like now. He clenched his fist. “I saw you Soo-ji, you can’t hide anything from me.” now I’m totally scared. Did he spy on me?

“What do you mean you’re there all the time?” I said scrutinizing him, trying to make him talk and tell me exactly what was going on  in his bloated head.

“Call it co-incidence, but every time I visit Sam. I always see you running home, or sitting on the street crying. So, cut the crap with me Soo-ji.. I told you I find out things even without you telling me.”

“I.. I don’t know what to say..”

“It was last year that I finally decided I am coming back. I saw you, it was in December and it was my vacation that I decided I am visiting Busan..” he paused for a bit, like he was trying to remember something “It was really cold in Seoul…

*Jinyoung’s flashback*

“Oh Jinyoung!” Sam exclaimed when he saw me standing by the door of our house. The same house where I grew fond of. I really like this place especially knowing that a five minute walk is just what separates me from “that girl”.

“Omma” I smiled a bit, and I saw a hint of tear from Sam’s eyes. I rarely call her that. Because I find it uncomfortable, but today is different. I really missed this place and Sam.

“Jinyoung-ah, why are you really here? Did you get in trouble again? Did you bit up another kid in the camp?” she asked while continuing her baking.

I let out a small laugh, “I’m a changed kid now. I’m the best in our team, and believe me I had never hurt a human being since I got there.”

“Then there’s only one reason for you to be here.” she smiled ever so slightly as if teasing me.

Again I laughed at her, “Sam, if there’s anything that would make me want to come home. It’s definitely your cookies.”

She placed her hand on her heart as if showing how flattered he was at the words. “Really?” she exclaimed pretending to be really in awe “My heart flutters, Jinyoung came home because he missed my cookies? That’s new.”

Then we both laughed.

“Jinyoung, i know why you’re here.” she said and there was a slight change in her tone “she’s okay, i think, she’s a strong girl. You know that. You keep on worrying about her when you fully know that Sehun is the one she likes.” she stopped from mixing her batter, “Jinyoung, you are a son to me. And I hate seeing you like this. I thought you are going to get over it as a kid, but you didn’t. And it hurts to see how broken you are every time you see her looking at your brother”.

“Sam..” i said warning her to continue further.

“Jinyoung, please just let me speak.”

I gulped. Awaiting the onslaught of real talk from my step-mother.

“Jinyoung. I love you and Sehun, and sometimes I would wish that you’re my real son. I know my son is a jerk, and was a jerk with you when you were kids. He hated that you’re getting more attention after what happened to you..”

“Sam please..” I was already turning red, upon the mention of my past. My past which I had buried.

Sam, she knows everything. She was my doctor when I had to recover from all the injuries I endured after that tragic accident. She knows it all. How a 6 year old kid had to physically, emotionally, and mentally recover from a traumatic incident. How a 6 year old boy had to cope up with the loss of his mother. Sometimes, I would think that the reason why my dad married Sam was because he knows I had grew fond of her. And that she was the only person I trust.

“Okay.. I’ll just say the things I know you want to hear”  she said while smiling. She let out a deep breath “I know no one can stop you, I know how strong willed you are.. And I only want your happiness. if she’s going to make you happy, and you want to get her to like you. You must do everything to make her believe that. After all, she had hated you since you were kids.”

I smiled at that, “hey, i know I’m a jerk but you don’t have to say it to my face”.

“Jinyoung..”

“Yeah?” i lifted my head to look at her.

“I would love to see you go out with Soo-ji, if that’s what’s going to make you genuinely happy. I’m at your side in this. You’re a great guy, she’s a lucky girl. but, she doesn’t see that. You have to show her. And I think it’s not yet too late” she smiled at the end of her sentences as if telling me to go and find Soo-ji right then and there.

But I can’t, I can’t face her. Not after I had caused her in the past. I don’t even know where and how to start.

Soo-ji, it was our first day in 4th grade at our new school after moving to Busan. I had been better, at least in my opinion, I was more talkative and playful. Perhaps my way to cover how awful the past years had been for me. I was immediately friends with everyone and  I know Sehun hated me for that. But despite being the crowd favorite. There was this one girl who never looked or turned her attention to me. She was Park Soo Ji.

She fell for my ugly step-brother and it unfolded right before my eyes. It was Min-ah’s birthday, Sam had me wore something fancy, checkered long sleeved polo paired with denim pants. The party took place in our school and everyone dressed neatly to celebrate with Min-ah. I saw Soo-Ji, and I thought I could go to her and maybe introduce myself so she would finally talk to me. I was merely yards away when my step-brother went to her and gave her a dandelion. Which is really lame. And to my shock, he said to her “you’re pretty”. I can say that Soo-ji was much shocked based on her reaction; red cheeks, half opened mouth, shaking hand.

She looked funny, i would’ve laughed if my poor little boy heart was not feeling broken. But what does a little boy know about love. I thought I had started to hate her for not noticing me, so I targeted her with all my pranks. Apparently, the pretty girl is born clumsy and would always end up bruised or with broken limb. Believe me, I felt awful every time she’s brought to the hospital because of my little pranks.

“You know I can’t, Sam”. I slouched on my chair a bit defeated or was I just tired. I don’t know. I think I was more tired of chasing, no, I was tired of having been rejected for multiple times. I took a deep breath.

“JInyoung-ah.” Sam sat beside me and placed her hand on my shoulder. “Are you gonna give up now?”

“You know I already gave up on her when I decided to move to Seoul.” i closed my eyes at the thought, remembering why I had left in the first place.

“Don’t let your past determine your future, it shouldn’t define you.” Sam said

“You know very well that my past does define me, Sam. what happened that day, was the very thing that made me who I am and who I will be.” I let out a sigh feeling agitated, “she would never understand that part of my story, I can never let her know that.”

Sam removed her hand on my shoulder and stood up, “if that’s going to be your excuse, then maybe you are never going to be good for her.” this time I have upsetted Sam. I know because it is evident in her voice. “I thought I had fully helped you heal, I was wrong.”

“Omma, that’s not what I meant.” i said a bit guilty and sorry that I have upsetted her.

“Jinyoung, you should go before Sehun gets home. I don’t want the two of you fighting again. And your dad is going to be very upset if he finds out you’re driving from Seoul to Busan and back. He’s not gonna let you leave.” there was a hint of sadness in her voice.

“mom..” I tried to calm her, and calling her mom does the job.

“That’s not gonna work Jinyoung”

Or so I thought.

“I’ll think about it..” I said before I left our house.

Yes, I’ll think about going back to Busan and leave my life in Seoul. To see her again on a daily basis, pretending I didn’t like her. Suddenly rain started pouring.

Then I saw her.

drenched in rain water sitting under the lamp post wearing her oversized hoodie and pants. I know that’s her. For the past three years I would see her sitting there, as if she was waiting for someone to pick her up and take her away from this place.

Park Soo-ji.

She’s sitting there, legs in front of her chest hugging them. She was trembling, and I had willed myself not step out my car and comfort her. She’s not gonna like it if she sees me. I’m like a ghost from her past, plus I’m like her worst nightmare, according to her. So I just watched her. This girl, is really something else. For the past three years that I had been going back and forth to Busan, I can’t believe she could change a lot. She might have lost those extra fats, but she still is Soo-Ji, my fatty. The girl who’d stumble at the simplest of pranks, the girl whose cheeks would turn red after receiving a compliment, and the girl who’d cry after I had her favorite ice cream.

To her I am a devil reincanation. How do I know? She said it herself. How cool is that? The girl you like, hating you. And thinking of ways to get rid of you forever.

The rain had stopped about 5 minutes ago. I plan to stay and watch until she leaves. A group of students, teenager in my observation, had noticed her. They stopped their car from a couple yards and stepped down of their vehicles. One of them is very familiar, she looked so different from the last time I saw her. I’m used to seeing these kinds of girls in Seoul, those who go through the knife to enhance their features. Min-ah, three years and this is the only time that I saw her again, I was quite wondering why I never saw her with Soo-ji before. She was walking to Soo-ji, I started my engine because I know someone Soo-ji knows had come to get her.

But I was wrong.

Min-ah clasped her arms in front of her chest as she stops her tracks in front of Soo-ji. Slightly she bent towards Soo-ji, she was saying something which I couldn’t comprehend, I’m dumb at lip-reading, then reached for Soo-ji’s forehead. She pushed Soo-ji’s forehead that Soo-ji almost fell to the ground. How dare she do that? I was about to step out of my car and push off Min-ah away from Soo-ji, who started crying again.

“Soo-ji-ah! Why are you just crying and not defending yourself?” I clenched my fiston door handle. Anxious whether to go and get her and what? for them to see me as Soo-ji’s hero? “Aish!” I punched my steering wheel, which was really stupid as I accidentally punched my car’s horn. It looked like I honked loud enough to get the girl’s attention. Which apparently, was effective enough as they all ran back to the car and sped away.

Soo-ji was crying and shaking again. “Yah, fatty. Are you going to do this to me, huh? Make me come back to Busan so I could look after you again?” I scratched the back of my head, a little uneasy at the thought of being near her again, “then what do I get in return? Your piercing looks and poor at cursing talk?” I looked at her, she had started gathering her things before standing up.

“Hey, Fatty, is this how you lost all your weight?” I am driving again following her tracks as she walks to our neighborhood. Sam’s going to throw fits if she sees me and finds out I hadn’t left. Soo-ji walks a bit fast, like she’s striding “Why not take the school bus, public transport? Aish! Why do you walk home? Didn’t you know that it's 6km from your house to our school?”.

“Really, this girl is making me crazy. I can’t believe I’m talking to myself.” when she reached the front of her house, I knew she’d be safe so I decided to leave.

I went back to our house, and saw my family having dinner. Sitting in the dining area, I told everyone. “I’ll be coming home, and it’s final.”

That day, I decided. I’m going back to Busan.

*End of flashback*

“I came back because.. I thought.. Ah no.” Jinyoung gulped, rested his back on his seat. I know he’s a bit nervous, it’s obvious. But that’s fine, at least I’m not the only who find this overly emotional moment uncomfortable. The little monster in my stomach started it’s little churns again. But, now, I can also feel it in my chest.

“Soo-ji..” he looked straight to the road, and gulped again. “Please give me a chance.” he said it without looking at me. I totally understand, it could be really embarrassing for him to face me and confess his feelings after all these years.

“You..” i started but my words are stuck in my throat again, and I really hate it when this happens. I have to gather my remaining strength as this is emotionally tiring and shocking, to be honest. “You want me to give you a chance?”

“Yes.” then he finally looked at me. Have I told you Jinyoung’s eyes are really pretty? I gulped, and gulped, and gulped. okay , I’m nervous. And him looking at me is not helping me at this social situation. I’m hyperventilating. I have never felt this way before, even when Sehun would look at me.

“Say something fatty. Aish!” he turned his gaze away, which was a good thing because I can finally breathe. He looked frustrated again, and although I like this angry Jinyoung, I wanted to him to look at me the way he did.

Or not. He’s staring straight at me again.

Is he waiting for an answer? What should I say? Yes, no, I don’t know? I’m confused?

Focus. Focus soo-ji, pretend you’re in your treadmill running. Focus. What do you say in this kind of situation? Don’t people get social trainings? If yes, I need to enroll myself in that class.

“Stop looking at me like that.” i protested and raised my left hand to cover my face, “you..” again with my uncontrollable stuttering when I’m nervous “you.. Make the the monster in my stomach eat my insides again.”

Still covering my face, i heard him chuckle. Is he laughing? I lowered my hand a bit to look at him. He is, he is smiling. Not that devil-may-care smile of his. But that cute little boy smile he does when he was about to pull a prank on me when we were kids.

“Yah!” I slapped his shoulder a little too hard which made him rub the side where my hand landed “you’re enjoying this are you?” i knew he was just toying with me. “You’re crazy. How dare you play with someone’s emotions, i knew i could never trust whatever comes out of that mouth of yours.”

and with that, his emotion changed it was hard and murderous. “Soo-ji. You didn’t believe everything I said?” he moved in a little closer to me, “all of it was a joke for you?” closer. “Huh?” he’s entering the ‘“kissing-distance’ space, and I gulped because I am getting really nervous.

This is not how I wanted to die.

“Jinyoung.. I promise, I’m not going to tell anyone you said you like me just don’t kill me. Okay I believe you now, if that’s what you want. I promise I’m not gonna share with anyone your secret, I’ll tell them you told me I’m the ugliest person you’ve ever met, that way they would never suspect that you like me. I will tell everyone who would ask that..”

I was blabbering all sorts of nonsense to keep my living body alive when he raised his hand to cover my mouth.

“Cheesecake.. Please stop talking.” his looked has changed to an emotion my social skills can’t comprehend, “So much for wanting to kiss you..”

“You..” my mouth fell open and felt dry

“Nevermind. I’ll drive you home.” he said as he started his engine and gave me a smile

Really this guy, I don’t understand him. He never said anything again until we reached my house. So i mustered all my remaining strength “Jinyoung..”

“I said nevermind.” he was looking straight at nothing, his hands are grasping the steering wheel quite tighter than the usual, I noticed because his veins looked like they’re about to pop out. “Go in.”

He didn’t have to tell me because i had already opened the passenger door, i saw him take a deep breath and shake his head a couple of times, “Soo-ji ah..”

“Yes?” it’s now my turn to take in deep breaths.

“I’ll give you a week.” he turned to look at me “after that, I’ll go and never bother you again.”

I bit my lower lip thinking of how I could save myself from this nerve-wrecking situation, “okay.” i opened the door wider and was about to step out when he grabbed my left arm to stop me.

“One week cheesecake.”

I didn’t turn to look at him because i was scared he’d give me that scary look which makes me really nervous “yes.” I stepped out, and turned to finally look at him, he’s staring astraight again ready to leave. “I’ll see you in school, right?”

Yes, Soo. you will see him in school what kind of a stupid question is that?

“It will depend on your answer.” and with that he left.

Typical Jinyoung.

But this is a Deja Vu.

About 4 years ago, Jinyoung came to our place riding his favorite bicycle to tell me he was leaving for Seoul. He said he thinks he’s not coming back and hoped I would stop him, and convince him not to leave. I didn’t convince him not to leave, instead, I told him he’s a devil-reincarnation born to make me suffer for the rest of my life, and that I hoped he’d be gone forever.

He was really obedient and did what I said, he left without a word. And the next day after that I learned from Sam that he had already gone to Seoul and had no plans of ever coming back. Back then, I thought it was the most liberating and happiest day of my life.

But now, i’m hating that awful fat girl who pushed Jinyoung away.

I felt a massive pain in my chest, which I had never felt before. It’s like something had left a hole in there that only this ‘guy’ could fix.

Jung Jinyoung.

And just the thought of him made me tremble and cry, i fell to the ground and started crying.

Am i an awful person?

Was i the devil-reincarnation and not him?








***Author's note***

Wow, an update! 

I hope my readers are still here to read this story. I was going through a lot of thins for the past year, and now is the only time i had to write. haha! I'm really sorry for making all of you wait for this update. 

please leave a comment and tell me what you think about this update. 

thank you for reading :)