Chapter 8

Yesterday was so fun that Seungyeon felt the morning approached fast. She was woken up by the ringtone of an incoming text from Jong Hyun who asked her phone number at the karaoke. Last night, she got a text message from Jin Ki, telling her that Jong Hyun would always send a good night message after he had done saving his crush’ phone number and it was, indeed, true, much to her amusement.

Yes, they had exchanged phone number, after she was driven home by Jin Ki, whose scene was caught as if red-handed by Seungyeon’s mother, lifting one of her eyebrow to show her teasing As Jin Ki had left her house and the puff of his motorcycle was not in sight anymore, Seungyeon’s mother told her something totally incredulous for her.

“Both of you look great together.” Her mother was the second person, after Nicole, who assumed her relationship and Jin Ki was like that. These two people were expecting too much. Seungyeon and Jin Ki had nothing so romantic between them; they were just friends sharing the same graze and tried to heal each other.

But, she could not deny herself that the possibility may come in the future. Not because she had any feeling to him. But, she was a woman and he was a man. It was true that both of them were still far from being that ‘kind’ of relationship. The dangerous thing was that they were both in need, probably, for a new love to come to at least take a role, even not much, to make them let go of the past. However, as she was thinking further after replying the morning text message from Jong Hyun while still lying down in her warm bed, the thought was immediately banished. She guessed she was too afraid, too reluctant to love another man after Yun Jong. She still could not imagine having another man care about her, have another's man body embrace her with love and finally erased Yun Jong completely from the special place in her heart.

Yes, she did what she had said to Jin Ki before. Her life had moved on even without Yun Jong being on her side that she did not have the eager to end her life anymore like before. But for the time being, he was too dearest for her that she was not able to bring her heart to have someone else replace Yun Jong in a special place reserved for him in her heart. Only time would tell when the right time was and she was sure that it was not now.

She was actually not a strong woman. She was just a woman trying to move on, fighting her painful loneliness.

When time was flying by the day, she could not believe that even when the works were piled up on her desk, her mind was occasionally somewhere else. She even could not believe that her mind was calculating the possibilities of her and Jin Ki being together. But, she just, then, determined herself that perhaps the whole crazy and nonsense ideas  happening in her mind was just the result of her missing Yun Jong, yet he was no longer here and Jin Ki was coincidentally there from any men possible to accompany her yesterday. With that, she could concentrate more on her works, although her minds-flying-nowhere was still slightly disturbing her focus.

When she took a break while having lunch on a café not far from her office, a text message came to her cellphone. It was from Jong Hyun. Much to her surprise, he asked her if she was free to tonight so they perhaps could have dinner together. He was quite an aggressive one, she supposed. As she did not have any plan for the night, she decided to accept the offer. After he ended the text messaging with him telling her that he would pick her up tonight, she wondered if he had known her address. He did not ask at all.

Yes, indeed he had known. He arrived at her house on time. 

“How did you know my address?” She asked while getting ready to wear her white stilettos. Although she just wore an informal short dress which was quite simple for a casual dinner with friends, everyone would agree that she still looked pretty gorgeous, including Jong Hyun who was, for about a second, being silence in awe.

“I… asked Jin Ki-hyung.” Once again, he looked shy, like when the first time he asked her phone number.

“Oh. Then, shall we?” She stood up when she had done tying the laces of her stilettos and Jong Hyun nodded in agreement.       

#####

Seungyeon was quite impressed that Jong Hyun had chosen the elegant restaurant on their first dinner. Her steps were heard on the marble maroon floor as they were ushered to sit on the reserved table for two by one of the waiter. She took a quick look around her, mesmerized by the interior of the place.

The waiter came to their table with a bottle of wine which was, then, poured into their glasses. Taking a sip after their glasses had been three fourth filled; she felt the sweetness of the wine in , arousing her appetite for the food being ordered. They smiled when the waiter had done noting their orders and asked them to wait for a while before he finally left both of them alone.

“This place is amazing.” She said, still in amaze.

“I’m glad you like it. This is my favorite restaurant.” He responded, followed by a pride smile plastered on his lips.

This was their second meeting and they had not been in any intimate conversation yet, so no wonder the awkward silence easily wrapped them up, like what was happening right now. She fiddled on her cellphone so she would not end up doing nothing which surely was going to make the awkwardness be even worse.

“Hmm… Noona, may I ask you something a little bit personal?” He asked nervously. She immediately stopped her activity with her cellphone and somehow caught the nervousness from his face.

“Sure.” She answered with a friendly smile on her face.

“Do you… have anything special with Jin Ki-hyung?”

She sighed. It was unbelievable that three people had assumed the same thing about her relationship with Jin Ki. Laughing mirthlessly, she put her fingers on her forehead, eyes closed to express her frustration.   

“I’m sorry, I-“

“No, I don’t have anything special with Jin Ki. You are the third person, you know?” She cut him off, answering his question with a flat tone.

“The third person?” He asked confusedly.

“Two people have assumed THAT way about me and Jin Ki.” She took another sip of her wine, intending to help her calm down a-little-bit of anger inside her. Then, he laughed nervously when he also drank his wine.

“Seriously. What’s wrong with you, guys? I didn’t do anything romantic with him yesterday, did I?”   

“Well, I know it doesn’t make sense, but your name kinda reminded me about his late.. fiancée? ” His reason sort of shocked her. Never at once crossed her mind that her name being similar to Jin Ki’s late fiancée could be such a big deal for people who had known enough about Jin Ki’s love life. She even remembered telling the life story of Go Seungyeon to her mother which was probably why she told her that Jin Ki and her looked great together. The reason also explained why Ki Bum and Nicole had thought that way about her. However, this was a coincidence. Only a coincidence which she realized that could actually happen one in a million times. He was missing Go Seungyeon so badly that day while she was also alone, reminiscing the date she had with Yun Jong that would never happen again in the forever future, that the whole day ended with her, HAN Seungyeon, accompanying him. ‘So-called dating’.

Such a funny coincidence. Really funny.

Weird.

And she was absolutely sure that another coincidence would never happen again.

“Noona?” His call snapped her out of her reverie.

“Oh. Sorry, Jong Hyun-ah.” She responded with a nervous laugh. Her mind suddenly drifted back to the calculation she had this afternoon. A silly calculation. Credit to the two people and the person sitting with a confused expression in front of her at the moment, she was being ashamed of herself for even thinking that way about her relationship with Jin Ki.

She thanked God that the food finally arrived on their table. At least, it could help distract her mind from thinking out of nowhere, making both of them find a new topic to talk about. Indeed, it did help. When they commenced on tasting the dish, their topics shifted and fortunately, the awkwardness had started diminishing. In fact, Jong Hyun was a type of person who talked first, yet quite a listener, too and she was quite comfortable with such kind of guy, like someone she recently knew.

Lee Jin Ki.

Jin Ki again. He appeared again in her mind. She guessed that she was too lonely that any random guy could occupy her thoughts once for a while. At last, she decided that after she was out of this restaurant, she would need some time alone, not with any guys around, to just calm her heart to make it be natural first. She hated this guilty feeling, guilty for Yun Jong and for Jin Ki, for he would never thought that way about her and last of all, for Go Seungyeon.

“Noona, want to go out again somewhere tomorrow night?” He asked with a bright smile on his face after half and an hour talking about haphazard things, they still enjoying the tasty dish.

She plastered on an apologetic look to him when she knew she had to reject this one offer as it was decided that her heart needed some time aloof from any male pheromone.

“I’m sorry, Jong Hyun-ah. I don’t think I can.” She answered to his invitation without adding a reason, afraid to hurt him. At nights she would always be free from her work and she absolutely was not able to reject his invitation by telling him that she was busy. Lying was not an option because she was the type who would never succeed to lie.

“Oh. It’s okay.” It was quite startling to her that he did not ask any further explanation to her rejecting his invitation, but surely she could catch the disappointed look on his face which made her be even more reluctant toward him. Her decision could not be taken back, though.

It was, then, when the atmosphere came back to the awkwardness again. No wonder that her sudden attitude due to her resolution she had made, contrary to the hospitality she had showed before, made him once again be out of topic. As she totally was totally aware his situation right now, she finally made an initiative to start a new topic first this time.  

“So, where do you work, Jong Hyun-ah?” She asked while scooping the strawberry ice cream on her table as the desert.

“I am now a singing coach, noona. I wanted to be a doctor like Jin Ki-hyung, though, back then, but I realized later that my true passion is singing.” She felt a butterfly in her stomach when Jin Ki name was mentioned. Fortunately, the main topic now was not about Jin Ki, but about Jong Hyun’s main job.  

“Really? It’s a great job!” She praised whole-heartedly because it was indeed a great job. He responded by laughing shyly while drinking his orange juice through the straw.

“Not as good as Jin Ki-hyung’ job, though.” Through his statement, always comparing himself and Jin Ki, she could assume something.

“You really admire Jin Ki, don’t you?” He stopped in the middle of drinking his orange juice when she said what was she had in her mind. It was true, then, from his expression. She smiled.

“Well, I think so. He is really a great guy. He has a good job and a great also rich family, even though they don’t live with him, but they really love Jin Ki-hyung. Also, Seungyeon-noona, I.. I mean Go Seungyeon-noona.” He stuttered on the last words, being totally aware of the mistakes he had done not in deliberately. Knowing he was afraid that the mistake reminded her once again to what had made her be offended earlier, she smiled amusingly, instead, while scooping another spoonful of soft ice cream to .

“He really is.” She responded, completely concurring to his statement. It was when the solemn silence wrapped the atmosphere. Her thoughts were flying again to the scene where Jin Ki dropped a tear on the hand which was clutching the precious engagement ring. It was such a dramatic moment when any man would look so melancholic in that state.

“He is a strong man.” Once again he showed his admiration through Jin Ki which supporting her brief reverie to the scene. Merely a single drop of tear slid down from his cheek while it was uncountable how many days she had let the whole world see how weak and devastated she had been when Yun Jong was not around her anymore. She did not know if Jin Ki had also cried alone, but at least if Jong Hyun, his close friend, acknowledged him as a strong man, then absolutely he barely shed tears in front of other people.

It was as if the guiltiness judged her once again that her action this afternoon, calculating the possibility of her being together with Jin Ki  was a sin. A sin because she tried to do something so damn useless, imagining herself being together with Jin Ki, although unintentionally, who would never turn her heart to another woman for the time being. The dramatic scene replayed before in her mind was the proof. And she was caught red-handed by herself, being embarrassed by herself.

It was their last topic before finally Jong Hyun asked for the bill and paid it. His cellphone rang when they had reached the parking lot. She could hear him uttering evasive words shyly and ‘hyung’. Perhaps, he was calling Jin Ki. Indeed, it was right as he told her at the end that it was Jin Ki who had called him before. She could only smile, without saying another word.

During the way, they had just kept silent after sometimes Jong Hyun tried to start talking, but he finally stopped when she just responded him with only brief sentences. She had lost her motivation to talk, not sure whether it was because she had become so sleepy since it had been quite late already, or she did not want any topics being related to Jin Ki anymore as she just did not feel like talking about him right now. Surely, he was not slow enough to know that she did not have desire to chitchat at the moment and she was grateful enough for that.

He bid her goodbye when they eventually reached her house which was empty. After untying the laces of her stilettos, she walked to her parents’ bedroom and she found they had been sleeping soundly. The door had been completely shut when her cellphone rang with a new text message dialogue box popped up on the screen.

Jong Hyun is a kind guy, right? ^^

You must have had a great date with him.

I’m glad my tutoring worked well. :p

~Jin Ki~

Having typed on a reply message, she went to her bedroom, preparing to go to bed.

Yeah.

haha..

Night.

~Seungyeon~

All of a sudden, her mood dropped even worse than before. That was why her reply was not showing any sincerity on talking further. She was not sure whether it was due to her drowsiness or … when she knew that Jin Ki was the one who helped Jong Hyun in the so-called date. It was hardly believable for her to realize that the second reason was also included as one of the reasons why she was being in such a bad mood at the moment.

She plopped down her body in the bed with a seriously heavy burden in her heart. This was the first night since the tragic lost that she found herself thinking of another thing, another man besides Yun Jong until again her cellphone signaled her that a new text message had come.

?

What’s wrong?

~Jin Ki~

She put her cellphone back again on the table beside her bed without even bothering on texting back.

“I don’t know either, Jin Ki-ah.” She answered with only silently before finally fell on a deep slumber.

TO BE CONTINUED

(Author’s note: Comments are appreciated, subscribing are loved^^Love u all guys with God’s love^^kekeke…)