“Daddy, why aren’t you and bàba married?” Sunhwa asks the question one evening, while Jongdae is doing the washing up and Yixing has popped upstairs to deal with the mess that is the bathroom. Jongseok thought it would be fun to film his stop-motion characters being drowned by a tsunami. In the bathroom. Again.

He blinks, caught a little unawares. He supposes he shouldn’t be; really, he should be surprised that none of the children asked sooner – most of their friends come from backgrounds where their parents were married, at least for a short while. “Er, I guess it just…never really occurred to us that we should, darling.”

Sunhwa stares at him curiously; made a little uncomfortable by her intense look, he turns back to the washing up, lip curling in distaste as he looks at the state of Shang’s plate. Is his eldest child really incapable of eating in a civilised manner? It looks as if a small lion attacked it, or possibly a hyena.

Actually, considering how screechy Shang’s laugh is, it’s probably more like a hyena.

“But you can,” she presses, flicking through her exercise book for her homework sheet. Unlike her brothers, she’s always been rather reliable about homework, even if she does do it the night before it’s due. “We learnt about it in R.E. today. Gay people can get…civil thingies and stuff.”

Jongdae laughs. “You mean a civil partnership, honey?”

She nods furiously. “Yeah! One of those. Why don’t you and bàba have one?”

“Uh,” he flails his hands a little helplessly – he’s honestly never considered it. He knew that they could, but well – they were friends before they were lovers, and then Shang came along and he just never really thought they needed to be married, not even when Kyungmi decided she did. “It’s just…not something we really thought we wanted, baby.” He runs the plate under the tap, hoping that his non-answer will satisfy her.

Of course, it doesn’t – because all children are inquisitive, and Sunhwa is nothing if not intensely curious about everything. She’s similar to Jongseok in that way – Jongseok just has a very…unique worldview, whereas Sunhwa just likes to play with bones. He’s long since come to accept that none of his children are normal, but he likes to think that’s just because they’re more intelligent than other kids.

Yixing thinks it’s his influence, but then he would; Yixing refuses to admit that his own parenting skills have anything to do with their children’s general weirdness. Jongdae would accuse him of cowardice, but then Yixing is oblivious in all things.

“But why?” Sunhwa insists, a tiny hint of a whine to her voice; Jongdae is suddenly suspicious. When she starts whining, she most likely wants something and that means tantrums and oh god – not tonight. He’s so tired. “Why didn’t you and bàba want one? Weddings are nice!”

Jongdae snorts. Weddings are not nice. The only thing he likes about weddings are the open bars; everything else tends to be stuffy, boring – and if you have children – a bit of a nightmare. “I thought you didn’t enjoy your auntie’s wedding?” He furrows his brows; the overriding memory from that disaster of a day out tends to be Jongseok shouting ‘Because he’s an alien!’ when the registrar asked if there was any reason for the couple not to be married.

It wasn’t his finest moment; indeed, it made for a very awkward experience. They’d just been lucky the couple were so…forgiving, although he attributed that to the amount of wine the bride had been drinking. Yixing still can’t bear to show his face among that crowd of friends.

Thank god they’ve never gotten married – he can just imagine the chaos Jongseok would cause, and all because he had to stay still for one minute.

“That was because she lied about the unicorns!” Sunhwa tells him indignantly. “She promised she’d have unicorn decorations just for me, and that I could be the flower girl and everyone would be really proud of me and – “

He zones out for a second, too used to his children’s tirades about everything and anything; he’s not entirely sure how to bring up the fact that Lisa had only said that so Sunhwa would stop bugging her about it.

“ – and anyway, no one was nice about my dress and when I tried to tell mummy her friend was boring, Joonie told me to shush and be a good girl, when I was being a good girl!” Sunhwa huffs, her rant over. Jongdae can feel a tightening behind his eyes, but he’s so used to the tension headaches by now that it doesn’t even bother him now. Sunhwa’s always been a very verbose child, and at nine, her vocabulary is so extended he wonders if they should ever have taught her to speak.

At least Shang knows how to be somewhat appropriate in front of strangers, even if his sarcasm is bordering on vicious.

“Darling, you can’t tell people they’re boring – “

“But she was. And she kept telling mummy her job was creepy and weird, and that’s just stupid because mummy has the best job ever and – and – “ Thankfully for Jongdae, Sunhwa is forced to take a breath. She’s about to restart her rant, but fortunately, Yixing appears before she can open .

He’s still clad in washing-up gloves, and the knees of his jeans are damp; Jongdae is assaulted with a rather nice image of Yixing on his knees for something more pleasurable. “The bathroom is…well, it’s a little less wet. You know, I think we might have to retile the floor because there are so many cracks in them and – “

“Bàba!” Sunhwa launches herself at her other father, a slightly manic gleam in her eye; Jongdae’s heartbeat stutters in fear. “I was just asking daddy about something.” Oh no.

Yixing peels his gloves off before hugging her back; she attaches herself to his waist, burrowing in for a proper snuggle. Surprised, he wonders just what brought this on. “Oh? What was that, baby?”

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “She wants to know why we’re not married.”

His eyes widen. “Is that so?” Sunhwa nods against his stomach, dancing on her tippy-toes to look up at him.

“Yeah! Daddy says you just didn’t want to get married, but that’s not a good enough answer so I thought it would be best if I asked you. You always say daddy’s not very reliable.”

Jongdae’s expression turns outraged. “Hey! That is so not true – who cleans up most of the projectile vomiting that goes on in this family – “

“Shut up, daddy.” Sunhwa says succinctly. “I was asking bàba, not you.”

He throws his hands up in despair. “Fine. Fine. I know where I’m not wanted. Seeing as bàba is so reliable, he can do the goddamn washing up.” With that, he storms out of the kitchen and into the living room. Doctor Who’s coming on, anyway; who needs their stupid family when they can have timelords?

“Baby, come back – “ Yixing sighs, turning back to his daughter. “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say to your dad, Sunhwa.” Especially as he was now probably going to sulk about being the least favourite parent, again. Honestly, Jongdae was worse than Shang half the time.

Sunhwa shrugs, unfazed by the fact that she may possibly have broken her father’s heart. Things like that don’t seem to really have any effect on her; Yixing’s pretty sure this is Kyungmi’s influence. “Anyway, answer my question!” When her demanding tone results in nothing but an unhappy look from her father, she adds a half-hearted “Please?”

Yixing closes his eyes for a second, unsure if he should go along with this discussion or appease Jongdae’s wounded pride. “Why are you so fixated on this?” Neither of the two boys ever cared if they were married, but then he supposes they were too busy dealing with having two fathers, rather than the conventional mother/father scenario most children were used to.

“Just am.” Sunhwa’s little face has gained her familiar, stubborn expression – he knows that if he tries to wriggle out of this, she’s just going to keep asking and he does not have time for this.

“I don’t know, darling. That’s the honest answer.” He adds hastily, when he sees her face scrunch up in displeasure. “We just never felt the need.”

The little girl gives him an unconvinced look. “Yeah. Okay, daddy was right. You’re not helpful either.” Rolling her eyes at her parents’ haplessness, she goes to pester Jongdae once more. Yixing follows, because really, he owes it to Jongdae to mitigate any further misunderstandings.

Sunhwa, uncaring of the fact that she might not be her father’s favourite person right now, climbs onto Jongdae’s lap without a word. He stares at her incredulously – clearly, she got her obliviousness to any and all emotional cues from Yixing, because this is beyond belief. “What are you doing?”

Yixing stands in the doorway, gaze warily switching from father to daughter in case an argument breaks out. It’s happened before, and the results weren’t pretty. Jongdae’s ugly when he cries.

“Asking you again.” Settling against his chest, she cranes her neck backwards and looks up at him. “So why aren’t you and bàba really married?” She should be a counsellor, Jongdae reflects bitterly, or a bulldog; they both have an inability to let go.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m not sure bàba’s the right one.” He glares at Yixing over the tops of his ridiculously clunky glasses; Yixing only rolls his eyes right back at him. “You never know – the right man could be just around the corner.”

Yixing snorts, this time. “Oh yeah. Three kids later and you still don’t think I’m the one.” He shakes his head, folding his arms in disgust. “Don’t you think you’re kidding yourself there, honey?”

“You’re the one who never thought I was good enough for you!” Jongdae retorts angrily, his finger shooting out over Sunhwa’s head to point at Yixing. “Hell, I had to force the bloody words out of you, in case you don’t rememb – “

“Language, Jongdae!” Yixing hisses, indicating Sunhwa’s intrigued little face with a flick of his thumb. “And that’s not my fault! You caught me by surprise, was I supposed to just go, ‘Oh yeah I love you too’?”

Sunhwa watches the heated exchange with interest. She never thought one little question would excite quite so much tension, but she’s very happy to watch it unfold. It’s just sad that both her brothers are upstairs in their rooms, but maybe if daddies yell loud enough they’ll come downstairs too.

“It would have been nice to actually think you cared!” Jongdae stands up, carefully depositing Sunhwa back on the sofa as he stalks towards Yixing, who shrinks back a little. “You know, I’ve had it with you, you never say the ing words because you’re so scared of being gay that – “

“I’m scared of being gay?” Yixing splutters incoherently. “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re a bloke and I’ve spent most of my life with you – “

“You might like it up the , but that doesn’t mean you’re comfortable with the fact men make you hard! Just man up for once and say the ing words, it’s not going to kill you – “

“Daddy, what’s hard?” Sunhwa asks curiously. Jongdae loses steam; he spins on his heel with a crestfallen look on his face to answer his daughter.

“Nothing, darling, nothing at – “

“And what’s ing? I thought that was a naughty word. You said I wasn’t allowed to use it – “

“You aren’t, sweetheart.” Yixing interrupts, voice tight. He glares at Jongdae for a second, ashamed of himself for letting their argument devolve into such ridiculous depths. “Daddy was just angry and he used it when he shouldn’t have. Isn’t that right, daddy?” He says, arms locked against his chest.

Jongdae nods frantically. “Never, ever use it, okay, baby. It’s not goo – “

“And what does bàba like up the ? I thought meant .” She knows this because Jongseok told her so, and Jongseok always knows the best words. Shang refuses to teach her to swear, only because Yixing paid him not to.

There’s a panic-stricken look in Jongdae’s eyes that Yixing would find funny if the situation wasn’t so terrifying. Nine years of parenting, undone in one stupid fight. God. “Nothing, baby.” He aims the word nothing at Jongdae, because the other man is certainly not getting anywhere near his for quite a long time. “It was just a joke.”

“Yeah. Just a – a joke.” Jongdae says feebly. He needs to sit down.

Sunhwa’s eyes narrow; she can tell there’s something they’re not telling her, but it’s not the main thing she’s interested in, so for now, she’ll let it drop. It doesn’t mean she won’t ask tomorrow, however. “But what does that have to do with you not being married?”

The honest answer is ‘not a lot,’ but they can hardly say that to her. “Um,” Yixing starts helplessly.

Jongdae takes the chance to kneel down next to her. “We’re just not, okay? We didn’t need to get married to prove how much we loved one another, hmm?” Sunhwa blinks big eyes at him, shifting her gaze to her other father to see if he agrees. He nods encouragingly at her.

“So you really didn’t want to?” She dangles her legs over the side of the sofa, swinging them to and fro distractedly. “It’s not ‘cause you don’t love each other?”

They share a worried glance, parental concern winning over personal arguments. Yixing unwinds himself out of his perch against the wall to crouch down next to Jongdae. “What makes you think that, baby?”

Her lips twist into an unhappy grimace. “Daisy and Ben said that when you’re in love, you get married. And then I said you weren’t married and they said that meant you didn’t love each other.”

“Oh,” Yixing says dumbly, heart sinking somewhere in the region of his stomach. It’s times like this that he wonders if they did the right thing, bringing up children in such an unconventional household, and it breaks his heart every single time.

Jongdae takes one of her hands in his, a small smile on his lips. “They’re wrong, honey. You don’t have to get married if you’re in love. You can live quite happily without a wedding ring.”

“Like you and bàba?” She says hopefully, heels thudding against the sofa.

“Like me and bàba,” Jongdae promises, nodding serenely. Deliberately, he avoids looking back at Yixing; he’s not sure what that little argument just did to their relationship, but he’s pretty sure that Yixing agrees a little white lie is needed in order to make their daughter feel better.

He starts a little in surprise when he feels Yixing’s arm slide around his shoulders, and he knows his eyes are as round as saucers when Yixing presses a kiss against his cheek. If this is forgiveness, that’s weirdly fast.

Seriously, Yixing loves to drag out his huffs. That man is all too good at holding grudges, which is weird, because he usually forgets what the argument is about after five seconds.

“See?” Yixing grins at her, the familiar dimple indenting his cheek. She grins back, her smile a mirror image of his; Jongdae’s always been glad that she inherited that particular trait from her bàba.

“I get it now.” She bites her lip, looking down for a moment, before looking straight at Yixing. “So what’s the thing about?”

They didn’t really think they were going to get away unscathed, did they?

***

Later, when everyone is in bed and they finally have some time alone, Jongdae takes the chance to broach the subject of their little…debate. “I’m sorry,” he says, the words coming out in a rush. “I didn’t mean – I wasn’t –“ He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. I was being stupid, and I don’t know what got into me, but – “

Yixing holds a hand up, shaking his head tiredly. “Stop. I’m sorry too. We shouldn’t – clearly we’re over-tired, and – “

“Yeah.” Jongdae gives him a small smile. “So I’m forgiven?” Yixing rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t resist when Jongdae slides a leg over his hips and straddles him.

He smirks up at him. “You’re forgiven.” Jongdae snorts, leaning down so that he’s hovering over his partner, hands on his shoulders.

“Want me to prove how sorry I am?” He asks brightly, fingers already making quick work of the buttons on Yixing’s shirt.

“Do you even need to ask?” Jongdae snorts again, fingers splaying against Yixing’s stomach.

“No.” He shrugs, a devious little glint in his eyes. “But it’s always polite to ask before you ravish someone.”

Afterwards, Yixing reflects that he’s rather glad Jongdae wasn’t polite at all in his ravishing that night.

***

They’re both incredibly self-satisfied by the time they decide to actually sleep; Yixing’s hurts like hell, but it’s a small price to pay for so much fun, and as they’re lying down, Jongdae clears his throat.

“Did you – you know – ever actually think of us being married?” The question is hesitant, a little nervous. Yixing shifts onto his side to look at Jongdae curiously.

“I guess…not?” He says. “Not because I didn’t want to be with you,” he adds quickly, knowing how liable Jongdae is to twist that into a you don’t love me! ploy. “But because we just…didn’t need to?”

“Huh.” Jongdae’s reply is concise, but it’s only because it was really the same thing he was thinking. “Do you think that…maybe we should?”

Yixing coughs awkwardly, not sure what the honest answer is. It’s not really a question of should – there’s no need to express their commitment to one another when they have three children, after all – but rather, a question of wanting to. Are they capable of being smug marrieds?

The answer seems to occur to the both of them at the same time.

“Will you – “

“Marry me – “

They stare at each other, wide eyed. “No!” Yixing declares, shaking his head determinedly. “We can’t do it like this, it’s got to, I don’t know, mean something – “

Jongdae nods in agreement. “Okay. We have a week to propose to one another – the one who gets there first gets eternal bragging rights and I don’t know, kink privileges?”

Yixing tilts his head to the side, considering. “Deal,” he says, holding his hand for Jongdae to shake.

And so the war begins.

This drabble ran away with me. I'm sorry. ._. Also the chapter title is stolen from a Shpongle song.