This was insane. How had he never realized that before? The idea of spending hours in the practice room, sometimes until the wee hours of the morning, only getting two or three hours of sleep, then running full speed through a packed schedule all day…. It was insane. Really, it was. Sure, there were a few spare hours of sleep snuck into that schedule here and there. A nap in the car between schedules, a quick doze in the waiting room before a performance or guest appearance… Still, it made staying healthy very difficult. Sleep was a necessity for good health, and Hyunseung felt like he never had enough of it. Granted, the strict diet most idols stayed on helped to combat any viruses, along with herbal tea and the like. It didn’t make things any less crazy.

 

He’d signed on for this, though. Hyunseung had known what being an artist meant before he’d joined the trainee program. It wasn’t exactly a secret, and most companies warned of it ahead of time. He’d known what would happen. What he hadn’t realized was how truly tiring it could be.

 

There were moments, though, when it all felt worth it. Standing on a stage with his band members beside him and thousands of fans screaming in support. That was a moment he could be proud of. When they went in the waiting room and saw the food provided by fans who knew how hard it was for the boys to find time to eat, he was always thankful. He always felt terrible when they had a fan signing and girls would come and cry as he gave his signature and shook their hands. Guys were even worse. He’d never known it could be so guilt-inducing to have a male fan start sniffling just because they got to meet him or one of the other members. Doojoon always had a lot of male fans that came to meet him.

 

There were times when he was with his parents or the other members, too, when the hard work and physical strain seemed worth it. They very rarely had a calm day with very little for a schedule, but when it happened, they all relaxed. Hyunseung rarely went out as the others did, but occasionally he would visit some old friends and see how they were doing. He never failed to visit his parents, though. It made him feel all choked up to hear how proud of him they were, and guilty when his mother fussed over how thin he was, asking whether he’d been eating properly. Of course, her ‘asking’ sounded more like accusing, but she’d send him home with plenty of food to eat and a healthy dose of motherly love and support.

 

Then there were the mornings when he’d wake up and Junhyung wouldn’t be awake yet. Normally the rapper seemed intent upon waking before Hyunseung so he could sneak out of bed, obviously under the assumption that sleeping together would bother the smaller boy. There was the occasional day, though, when Hyunseung would wake up warm and securely wrapped in a pair of familiar arms. Of course those mornings always made it hard to hold still, because it usually came with Junhyung breathing down his neck. It was uncomfortable at first, mainly because that breath really tickled.

 

Still… there was something to be said for being allowed in Junhyung’s bed at all. He never did it knowingly, always falling asleep in his own bed. He always woke up in Junhyung’s. The rapper never uttered a single word of complaint. In fact, after that one brief discussion, they hadn’t talked about it again. Then again Hyunseung never noticed the little smirk his bedmate got anytime Hyunseung was asked about how he slept.

 

In the weeks and months that followed their debut album, the boys had been kept busy to a fault. They only had a short break from packed schedules after their promotions ended, during which they were still guests on shows from time to time. Within a couple of months, though, the boys were busy working on new music and choreography. It was time to gear up for another release.

 

It was during this time that the other members really started to annoy Hyunseung. Not to the point where he couldn’t stand them, no. They just… seemed to always be watching him. Yoseob got even weirder as time went on, giving him funny looks and constantly teasing Junhyung out of Hyunseung’s earshot. It was really starting to bother him, truthfully. Why was it so important that he not hear? Didn’t it bother Doojoon when Yoseob would pull Junhyung aside like that? It certainly bothered Hyunseung…

 

It was during one of these impromptu private discussions that the dancer finally had enough of it. “What is so damned important, Yoseob? We’re supposed to be practicing, not dragging each other to secluded corners for God only knows what!”