Taking Charge
Where I Belong
“That was not funny, Doojoonie!”
Hyunseung snorted; he couldn’t help it. The look of pure annoyance and embarrassment on his friend’s face was just too amusing.
Yoseob glared at him, and the dancer clamped his lips shut theatrically, pressing them together in a thin line. “Shut up Seungie.”
“I didn’t say anything,” the petite brunette answered on a laugh, and ducked as one of the pillows from the sofa came flying at him.
It hit Junhyung in the shoulder as he played with his phone, and he shot a dark look at Yoseob. The singer took immediate offense, putting one hand to his chest as he looked at Junhyung in disbelief. “Why are you looking at me like that?! He ducked!”
“You threw it.”
“He laughed at me!”
“Shouldn’t you just be happy he laughed?” Junhyung asked levelly.
The dressing room lapsed into sudden silence, everyone looking between Junhyung and Hyunseung. The latter steadfastly ignored the stares as he tucked a set of earbuds in his ears and some music, slipping his mp3 player into a back pocket. As he set into the choreography for one of their songs, it was more than clear that he had no intention of conversing with his bandmates.
Again.
Kikwang sighed and dropped into a seat beside Junhyung, slouching a little. “He’s doing it again… I thought we were past being treated like we’re diseased. What’s going on with him? That incident didn’t shake him up that bad, did it? Is he mad because we didn’t save him like Junnie?”
Fixing Junhyung with a brief look of annoyance, Doojoon tugged Yoseob onto his lap. With both arms around the smaller boy’s waist from behind, he leaned his head around Yoseob’s shoulder to look at the others. “Maybe he’s only mad at one of us and is punishing the rest of us to boot.”
“Guilty by association,” Dongwoon mused sullenly. When Kikwang ruffled his hair, he glanced over at the dancer practicing on the other side of the room. “But who’s he mad at?”
“Definitely not you, Woonie,” Yoseob reassured him emphatically. He paused, then shook his head, leaning back against Doojoon. “He’s liked you from day one. You’re the golden child for Seungie.”
“Yeah,” snorted Kikwang as he elbowed the maknae gently in the side. “You can do no wrong. Look how patient he is with you at practice. The rest of us get impatient and he just smiles and tells you to try again.”
Dongwoon seemed reassured by that, but he still frowned, confused. “Then who’s he mad at? It can’t be Seobie-hyung. Who could get mad at hyung?”
“Aw, thanks Woonie!” Yoseob laughed softly, but even the sound was tense.
From his seat on the sofa, Junhyung looked around at the others, eyes lingering on each one in turn before finally coming to rest on one person.
It had been a week since Hyunseung’s outburst. A week that had been filled with schedules for all the members. Every day, Hyunseung would laugh and smile on camera, put up with Yoseob’s clingy hyperactivity and even allowing Junhyung to joke and tease. As soon as they weren’t filming, though, he withdrew. The choreography had become his obsession, regardless of how perfectly and smoothly he executed it. In their dressing room, van, or dorm, he would smile and sit on the fringe of conversation, but he neatly avoided s’ antics and routinely avoided any chance of being left alone with Junhyung.
Now the members were catching on to his behavior. The only real blessing was that they hadn’t linked it to Junhyung yet, but it was only a matter of time. Doojoon seemed to be rapidly losing patience, from what the rapper saw. His comments were getting more and more pointed. This couldn’t keep going on forever.
Junhyung just didn’t know how to fix it. He’d already tried and failed spectacularly. Communication wasn’t his forte. Not with Hyunseung. Now, watching that thin frame flow through choreography like water in a stream, he felt more disconnected than ever. It was like watching things happen from somewhere else. Somewhere… not here.
The conversation flowed around him, the debate continuing without any notice that he wasn’t putting in his two cents’ worth. He blocked the words out, his entire focus on Hyunseung.
It wasn’t hard to tell that the dancer was pushing himself too hard. He had been for a week. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his skin was flushed, but as soon as one song finished on his mp3 player, he just launched into the choreography for another. Doojoon had been scolded for his weight only a few days before. Fans had noticed Hyunseung’s thin physique and while they loved him dearly and thought he was very nearly perfect, there were some that made worried remarks about how thin he was. The company had, in turn, given the group’s leader and manager a stern lecture on healthy diet and weight. Given the fact that only three days had passed, it wasn’t surprising nothing had changed in the weight department. Even if it had been weeks, it probably wouldn’t do any good. Hyunseung ate plenty, but his body burned off the excess in no time at all. He was healthy, for all intents and purposes.
“Doojoon, we’re all done for the day, right?” the rapper asked suddenly.
“Yes,” Doojoon answered slowly, frowning at him a little suspiciously. “Why?”
“Maybe we won’t be in the coordi noonas’ way while they clean up if we head to the van. Can you ask Manager-hyung about it?”
Doojoon nodded, still not entirely sure about his sudden interest in such things. He carefully set Yoseob to the side and got up, stepping into the hall to talk to their manager and ask. When Yoseob, Kikwang and Dongwoon came out shortly after, he wasn’t surprised. Thankfully their manager had agreed that it would be more convenient, so the four headed down to the van. Doojoon made a random remark to distract them, and Yoseob pounced on it with gusto, launching into a happy narrative that soon drew the other two in.
In the dressing room, Hyunseung hadn’t noticed s’ departure, too focused on practicing. The coordi noonas were busy packing up as Junhyung got up and made his way around chairs to the dancer. He stood behind him for a few moments, watching, before reaching out and tugging an earbud out. “Time to go.”
Hyunseung jumped as the music retreated from his left ear, and turned to look at Junhyung. Now, he noticed that everyone else had left, and his heart started an uneven rhythm at the realization that he was essentially on his own with the rapper. The coordi noonas weren’t paying them any mind. He took out the other earbud and pulled the mp3 player from his back pocket, stopping the song.
“You ever going to talk to me again?” Junhyung asked, the words clipped.
Hyunseung glanced up at him, clearly uncomfortable. “I talk to you.”
“Yeah,” the rapper snorted derisively. “On camera. When other artists are around. Never at home, never in the car or when we’re in a waiting room. When we’re not being filmed you do your damnedest to pretend I don’t exist.”
“I do not pretend you don’t exist,” Hyunseung said quietly with a huff. He grabbed his coat from a nearby chair and tucked the mp3 player into an inside pocket with his earbuds. As he slipped his arms into the sleeves, he looked at the clock on the wall by the door. “We’d better go. Kikwang will be wanting to get home so we can eat.”
As he would have passed Junhyung, the rapper grabbed his arm and stopped him. “No.”
Hyunseung looked at him in disbelief, a pulse thrumming in the side of his neck as his nerves kicked in. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Junhyung stepped closer and kept his grip firm. “No. We’re going to talk, and we’re going to do it now. The others are noticing your behavior and you’re scaring them. Now, I know it’s my fault but enough is enough, Hyunseung.”
The dancer tried to tug his arm free but only succeeded in getting a tighter grip in response. He let out an exasperated, shaky breath and brought his eyes up to Junhyung’s face, his own features paling a little. “Let go.”
“Not until you listen to me,” Junhyung replied steadily.
“I have listened to you!”
“No you haven’t. But you’re going to,” Junhyung murmured, his voice quiet but full of confidence and a firmness that said he wasn’t going to let it drop anymore. “I won’t discuss this further with others present, so I suppose I do have to let go. For now.” He dropped his hand from Hyunseung’s arm, but caught his attention as he started to hurry away from Junhyung toward the door. “But when we’re home, we’re going to talk. Tonight.”
Hyunseung had stopped when the other male spoke again, and now turned his head to look back at him, eyes wide. He opened his mouth, then shut it, unable to find anything to respond with. Instead he pursed his lips and gave a terse nod before slipping out the door.
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