So Many Questions - Side A

Have you seen her? 
Did you see her pass this way? 
What is it about her? 
What makes me feel this way? 
Is it her eyes? Maybe 
But I'm not so sure 
Is it her laughter? 
Something I've never heard before 

So many questions but the answers are so few 
All I really know is, I love you 
So many questions but the answers are so few 
All I really know is, I love you 

What is it about her 
That makes me stare 
That makes me wanna run my fingers through her hair 
Why she makes me feel this way? 
Will I find her? Maybe 
But I'm not so sure 
Will she be mine? 
I can't stand this searching any more 
 

So many questions but the answers are so few 
All I really know is, I love you 
So many questions but the answers are so few 
All I really know is, I love you 

Since the only time I see her near 
Is when I close my eyes 
Should I keep it that way 
The only way I can make her stay

Youngbae is lying comfortably in his couch while listening to his music from his ipod. On any regular day, he would listen to it for some inspiration, maybe a new song composition, a new dance step or to just plainly clear his mind from all the stress from his hectic schedules.

But not today. Today he was looking for answers. Answers that are not coming his way.

The question? Simple: Kwon Yuri.

Have you seen her today? Off course I see her everyday. In my mind at least.  He thought.

Ever since that fateful day when he was set-up by that blind date by a mutual friend, he could not forget her. Walking into that meeting place was probably the best thing that ever happened to him. He saw her, smiling oh so bright like a shining star. Her eyes, so many would love to see it up close, for they were so beautiful. "Oh, Taeyang sunbaenim, anneyong haseyo" he recalled Yuri as she greeted him. That alone was the spark for what was to ignite his heart.

Her eyes, why do I like to see them? Sparkling, loving, passionate, beautiful eyes? He thought.

Dropping formalities, they've talked that night, discussing a lot of topics which was mostly music. He was impressed about how Yuri was so passionate about a lot  of things. But what most impressed him was her laughter. True he heard Yuri laugh on a lot of variety shows. But hearing it up close was more like music to his ears. It not only reached his ears, but it also touch something much more. It touched Youngbae's heart and soul.

Why is her laughter make me feel good inside? Melodious, sweet, intoxicating laughter?  He questioned.

That night, he walked her home, still telling her stories. It was late but they didn't mind. Then he held her hand and smiled.  She smiled to, shyly.

Was it okay for me to rush like this? Was it okay? I want to run my fingers to your hair but should I? Should I not?

Upon reaching  the dormitory where she lives, he said goodbye, promising her that he will be in touch and contact her if he can . Yuri just walked in without saying a word for that night she was happy he found a new friend.

Should I have done something? A hug? A kiss? No it was too fast. I wanted to be friends first.

Days later it was even sweeter for the now smiling Youngbae. They've sent each other text messages, making sure to keep in contact as much as possible and even giving each other words of encouragement to alleviate any pressures and stress that they are experiencing from their feverish schedules. He was even invited to their concert in Seoul. He was a homebody like TOP, but Yuri's invitation stir him to attend SNSD's concert. Alone.  He didn't even bother telling the other members of Bigbang(especially Seungri) and other friends that he was going.  After their concert, he met SNSD backstage. He was happy to see them. But even more so, Youngbae was happy to see Yuri. While he was congratulating them on their successful concert, his shyness got the best of him that day. Scrambling to say something, he only blurted out how impressive their LED screen was.

Questions again lingered his mind. It was embarassing that day. Was she embarassed to? Why do I have to blurt out how impressive their LED? Did Yuri think of me as stupid?

And so after that night, Youngbae now found himself lying on his couch, listening to his music. Searching for answers. But instead there were too many questions.

Why am I like this?

Why is she the only thing that comes to my mind?

Does she like me?

Is she bewitching me? Off course not, she is my friend.

Really? Why not?

Is it because I like her? Off course I like her.

How much?

Will she be mine?

When?

How?

"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGH!!!! I can't take it anymore!!!!!" Youngbae shouted as he threw away his ipod across the room.

Silence finds Youngbae. He later founds himself sitting in his couch, covering his face with his hands. Thoughts raced thru his mind like grinding his brain in to agony.

So many questions, so many questions, but the answers are few. He pondered

Then he suddenly closed his eyes and saw only a single image inside his mind.

Kwon Yuri.

And then it hit him. There was only one answer to so many questions in his head. It was just her. The answer was just Kwon Yuri.

And in that moment, Youngbae suddenly ran out of his apartment and headed towards SNSD apartment.  He wanted to see Yuri now. For in his mind, while he is racing towards her, was a simple answer to his many questions:

I love you, Kwon Yuri.

Author's notes: The song "So Many Questions" is a song sang by a Filipino band called Side A who specializes in singing various english and filipino ballads and were big hits during 90's and early 2000's in the Philippines. here is the song's link:

youtu.be/vh4vKi9KkMo

Hope you like it. Comments are appreciated (good or bad, just comment)>